#idek
Fistfuls of lust, yet tender
Smell your skin, and dare remember
Holding, yielding, grasping, pleading
Smokey eyes and steaming embers
Destruct the inner walls to lend her
Naïve tongue and tremble breathing
Heat. “I like it”.
Roughing, grinding, fasting, slowing
Oils seeping, fingers deeping
Push and pull to tease and bend her.
Stop, but just to start again,
Steaming. Heating. Beating… Beating…
Beat the heart to break and mend her.
Apr 3, 2023
Apr 3, 2023 at 9:44 AM UTC
am i incapable of falling in love?
they say those who have been extremely damaged are the least likely to fall in love
i mean it makes sense, all of us damaged ones have never been shown what love was
our version of love is being treated like a dog, constantly begging for love
when i found you it was a different type of feeling
part of me knew i'd end up with you though
we've had our bumps but i've learned plenty on this journey
about you and me
we've definitely had to build on each other but we've come a long way
oh how i wish it were you all along
i strongly believe it's the timing of it all
if it was you since the beginning i'm 99% sure falling in love wouldn't be so hard
but unfortunately i had to be damaged a million times before meeting you
they always say the hardest relationship is the one after the toxic one
for so long i've been used to abuse and emotional manipulation,
that now i find myself getting bored when i'm not on that crazy rollercoaster ride, begging for love
but i'm happy i've met you
i just wish it was earlier
if only.
Sep 13, 2022
Sep 13, 2022 at 11:40 PM UTC
A hollow vase forged and crafted to function as a keeper
God only knows what was to be placed in the vessel
Made from dust and was molded by love
A perfect container to be filled with knowledge
At first a perfect family was imbued inside the vessel
Followed by lessons only a prodigy could handle
Slowly it was infused by different lessons from diverse people
The vessel was happy it was being filled finally fulfilling its purpose
Up until it was filled with waste and trash
The perfect family was emptied and was replaced by a broken one
Lessons from diverse people was slowly thrown away
The vessel that was once filled happiness was replaced by sadness
Continuously shattered throughout the years
now full of cuts on his wrists and a barely functioning heart
It could only imagine what he had once
a perfect idea of what he could've been if he only was a tad bit stronger
what was once promised to be kept on the top shelf
for safekeeping as he was the most valuable
was now hidden for it had become
a broken and shattered vessel hidden from everyone
It yearns for a purpose everyday, watching other vessels be filled up
with knowledge he dreamed for while he laid there being filled with trauma
the now cuts on the vessel were displayed as it was full of them
the owner could barely keep it intact but the vessel knew otherwise
It was close to breaking it was filled with knowledge and lessons from its past
memories that were supposed to be happy were replaced by haunting experiences
It could barely hang on it was filled to the brim by waste but it felt empty
a new line was made on the shattered vessel everyday as if it was a cut to display its pain
being filled was its purpose
but was the haunting memories enough for him
the horrible wisdom it has learn throughout the years
it all built up until he couldn't take it and he shattered
everyone was heartbroken about the vessel
full of what-ifs and promises they made to the vessel
regret filled the cabinet where it was once stored
everyone mourned at the finale but no one helped during the ******
Jun 26, 2022
Jun 26, 2022 at 2:31 PM UTC
i knew deep down that the person in the picture wasn't really you
but in my fantasy you were everything i had ever wanted
but oh how i miss being held in your arms
in distressful times such as these, i find myself wanting to run to you
to feel your embrace
to feel your presence
to have the warmth of your cheeks pressed against my mine
when you ran your hand through my hair, reassuring me
that everything would be okay in the end
but it wasn't.
i quickly remind myself who you really were in the end
the disappointment still consumes me
Jan 26, 2022
Jan 26, 2022 at 10:20 PM UTC
preparing months for an exam
for a number that supposedly determines your worth
******* up to teachers, people you don't even like
just for them to hopefully write a few commendable words about you
all for the hopes of being deemed "acceptable" to some supposed authority
for a place that will decide what you'll be doing for the rest of your life
making these drastic decisions at the age of 18
when not too long ago you were just picking out your prom dress
listing down any type of hobby or recreation you have
to make yourself seem a little more unique
since the competitiveness between you and your peers is sharper than a knife
who will make the final cut in the end and be deemed worthy?
Jan 4, 2022
Jan 4, 2022 at 2:19 AM UTC
my feet touched the bottom of the ocean, i felt the cool sand tickle my toes
swim as fast as you can
flailing my arms and legs and quickly as possible, in hopes to make it in time
swim as fast as you can
the air inside my lungs is crushing me
swim as fast as you can
there's still a few more feet to go, although the water escapes into every hole of my body
swim as fast as you can
falling back down, there's no energy left to get back up
swim as fast as you can
suspended amidst the deep blue, unable to move my limbs
just try to swim
thinking about them and their damage, causing lacerating pains in my heart
i give up
Sep 27, 2021
Sep 27, 2021 at 11:49 PM UTC
Every time I'm doing okay,
You always gotta come back and ruin my day.
I'm just trying to breathe like what the hell!?
I haven't cut yet you hurt me and I fell.
I just want to live my life and be okay,
Make this pain and suffering go away.
How is it so easy for you to ruin me?
When all I've done is set you free.
Yay me I'm writing now,
But honestly I don't even know how.
Let's just get this over with I'm done with you,
Wish you were done with me too
Sep 13, 2021
Sep 13, 2021 at 12:07 PM UTC
it's funny looking back at how much you broke me
because now i can't feel a single thing for anyone anymore
but the thought of you has faded now
i just wonder when i'll get to feel that way again
Aug 31, 2021
Aug 31, 2021 at 10:26 PM UTC
her lost gem, she couldn't seem to find it for months
it was a rare one, expensive too
she treasured it most
until suddenly it was not in the pockets of her jeans anymore the next day
she lost her mind trying to look for it
searching all over her house
even in public places she frequently visited
but it was no where to be found
it was only until months later she saw it again
but with someone else
the gem was no longer hers
and her self loathe grew even more
"how could i be so irresponsible" is what she thought
"if i could go back to the night before i lost it and made sure it was there this would never have happened"
everyday from there on, she wished she could go back in time
she wishes the one who took it would lose it, so somehow it could come back to her
maybe she would find the gem laying around by her house again
she constantly got her hopes up every time she would see a gem
but it was not the same one, it was simply a clone
whenever she'd take a closer look at the gem's look-a-likes, she realized it was only an illusion
they didn't have the same shimmer as the real one
they didn't feel the same
the edges were rough and they weren't even real, they would break apart
she misses her gem, and she knew nothing else would compare to it
Aug 1, 2021
Aug 1, 2021 at 11:34 PM UTC
i leave behind residue in beds
i am grimy and saturated from dirt
my muddy footsteps follow you into the bathroom and i smudge the mirror with my fingers, crusted and cracked from the heat
i follow the shadow of the sun and trail their streaks of death
it drips down my thighs and stains your carpets
i am vermin i am disease i am death and decay
my stench sullies the walls and my greasy hair sours your stomach
you pinch your nose as i pass by and i cannot find it in me to blame you. i would too.
Jul 11, 2021
Jul 11, 2021 at 3:14 AM UTC
i struggle to believe anyone could
love me, because she
would only return my sentiment
in texts at 3am and on
intoxicated nights where all i
was, was a body for her to hold and
to plant kisses on high;
come morning time
she would’ve rolled over,
eyes closed, faced away.
im glad i never told her i loved her because
it would’ve been a half truth
a confession stained with bitter melancholy
hr.
Jan 15, 2021
Jan 15, 2021 at 6:35 PM UTC
People have strange fears
Mine is myself
At this point I just feel like somebody else
Thought I knew my own feelings
Now I’m just confused
I feel as if someone else is in control
Of my own body?
No that doesn’t make sense
Because I am me
But my memory slips all the time
And I feel less alive
I am just Here.
Dec 24, 2020
Dec 24, 2020 at 1:24 AM UTC
I’m fine
There’s just a choir in my head
Screaming not singing
At a girl, a child
Screaming help
Someone help
Me
I said I’m fine
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 1:57 PM UTC
i like silence.
i like silence because.
i like silence because it.
i like silence because it helps.
i like silence because it helps my.
i like silence because it helps my creativity.
i like silence because it helps my.
i like silence because it helps.
i like silence because it.
i like silence because.
i like silence.
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 12:39 PM UTC
Cute
Amazing
Adorable
Smart
When you call me these things I melt and I don’t know how to take it because I’m used to
Ugly
Weird
Disgusting
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 3:52 PM UTC
staring at the stars,
I've never felt so small.
I realize that the universe is so incredibly huge,
that nothing in it matters at all.
anything that I will ever do
will eventually be forgotten,
so it doesn't really matter
what sort of trouble I get caught in.
I know it matters to my parents
that I graduate this year,
but I'm starting what I want to do
by posting my amature poems here.
I'm sharing my thoughts with strangers,
and trying to make them rhyme,
but like I mentioned earlier,
my words will all be forgotten with time.
but that's not going to stop me
from trying to become a "writer",
I can do this from my bedroom,
it makes my heart feel a little lighter.
I'm just trying to find my place,
I'm trying to be happy.
I'm feeling a bit of grace
even if these poems are ****** :P
Feb 21, 2018
Feb 21, 2018 at 1:30 PM UTC
beautiful girl, why are you dating that ******* of a boy?
he's nothing but terrible to you
with his emotions toward you changing constantly
and the overwhelming jealousy for anybody around you
beautiful girl i say this out of kindness and because we're friends
i care about you and that is why i tell you that you deserve better
beautiful girl, everybody knows your not into him anymore
he's threatened to leave you multiple times so why don't you just leave him
and go after the girl you've been eyeing for weeks
nobody is going to judge you
beautiful girl, you deserve the world
and he isn't giving you the world
go after what the world is to you and don't look back
beautiful girl, leave the ******* holding you back
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 10:34 PM UTC
Readers Should be advised, swearing used in this very short poem.
Go ahead and **** my Life;
Up the *** with a Knife.
Don't you worry, I'll be Okay;
The Memories Hurt More anyway.
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 11:23 PM UTC
What can I say?
You didn't read the warning label.
Dangling from the ceiling, fluorescence like drunken accents dripping from the tongue, the fallacies we fashion into stars and let hang in our eyes, etc etc.
You know the story. You were there,
how in that light,
we almost looked human,
the city screaming around us, the dusty night engulfing everything.
I mean, even zippers have teeth,
so slam the window shut. Slam the door. Slam and slam and slam until my name doesn't matter anymore,
your eyes like the barrel of a gun, your eyes like headlights.
I'll be doing the same,
taking pictures out of their frames. It feels different that way, a naked memory.
doing the laundry, cutting up the furniture, spotlights for the spotlights. I know
you liked to think yourself a martyr for our love. I wish someone would've shut you up,
the skin in my teeth from chasing my own tail. You never forget the taste of blood.
**** off, darling.
I have more important things to feel guilty about.
Aug 18, 2017
Aug 18, 2017 at 12:56 PM UTC
With the amount of lies
that spew out of your mouth
I wonder
if you still recognize
your own reflection
when you look in the mirror
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 5:53 AM UTC