#idc
After all those thoughts
Just when I look at those floods
I feel as if I should drown in them
Hidden in the river like a gem
Maybe I should act on my thoughts
Maybe I should act on people's words
They know that we had no droughts lately
Yet they tell me “drown in a river"
They tell me “end it all"
**** yourself"
“I hope you die"
"jump off a cliff/bridge”
Just maybe
I should do it
Obviously
People just don't want me in this world
People obviously think of me as a burden
As a useless kid
A naive child that they can just use
But if course
I'm just too sensitive
I'll never understand anything
If I don't do it
I may as well punish myself
Like I have been
But worse
Not eating for days
Restraining myself from usually behavior
Letting everyone get a taste of a bland personality
As if I were on my anti-depressants that I haven't taken for months
Let others choke me
Let others help me in my self-destruction
Abuse me
Assault me
Do whatever you want to me
I don't care
Just maybe
I'm just the true sigma male that has a delightful cliff waiting for him
Dec 30, 2024
Dec 30, 2024 at 1:26 AM UTC
My 400th poem
Sleep
At this point in life, I don't really care
whether I'm wrong or right.
I'll be whoever, whatever I have to be.
As long as I can fall asleep at night.
Oct 10, 2021
Oct 10, 2021 at 7:13 PM UTC
I have been patient with you and the rest of our race,
all I did was to play the role and have a taste.
Taste of being nice and good at times like this, how come
you're mad when it's you whose in fault.
"A little more, a little more, bare and hold it in"
a thing I say to myself when you're clearly guiltless.
You turn your words onto me when it's time to confess,
tell me! is it that hard to know what is 'oppressed'.
I held myself and my fist, even though I'll win.
well, clearly you know and knew it's not my thing.
that's why you limit me with everything.
I was just trying to be nice and you just ended me.
Remember, I'm Older.
Dec 8, 2020
Dec 8, 2020 at 1:21 PM UTC
I don't know where you are
And frankly, I don't care
Because the air tastes so much sweeter
Without you here.
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 28, 2019 at 4:04 PM UTC
I’ve been blinded by the light
I’ve been taken from the cave
I can no longer fight
I can barely behave
I envy all, who still believe
In anything at all, I wish I wasn’t free
-
I’ve been sitting in the void, for far too long
And any time I try to be like you all
Before I can love the shadows on the wall
I’m dragged out kicking, swinging from the hole
-
I don’t know what to do anymore
I don’t want to change anything at all
There’s no cause I feel any way about
And even myself I could do without
-
I see you on your phone, so self involved
Chasing money, fame and love through a machine
But who am I to judge, those lovely screens
That help me for a bit, suspend my disbelief
-
No one likes their job, no one likes their lives
Everyone pretends everything’s alright
No wonder we are sick, we’ve been living a lie
But lying is easier than starting a fight
Dec 22, 2019
Dec 22, 2019 at 4:22 PM UTC
She’s poetically inclined,
E. E. ******* in her mouth,
I make sure her lips are lined,
With that feel good vibe,
That she gets with my ****
She says she wants to ride,
But she’s feeling kinda sick,
And her ****** like the tide,
Coming at me during night,
No receding shorelines,
She assures me that she’s fine,
But I can see it in her eyes,
The distaste,
Just the kind,
Of sickness,
That I’d rather not take,
But tonight,
I don’t mind.
Jul 17, 2019
Jul 17, 2019 at 12:41 AM UTC
He walked along my path.
He wasn't expected.
A variable I had never calculated.
His heavy, confident footsteps shifted the sands of my mind
And I find that not everything makes sense anymore.
I'm always covered in blood.
Sometimes it's mine. Sometimes it's not.
But he makes me feel alright about it.
All the time.
He stood in my way.
I had seen him around before.
I had never thought to speak to him, until then.
His precise, light footsteps left a mark in the mud of my mind
And I'm left surprised, shocked, uncomprehending.
He's always covered in blood.
He concerns me, scares me,
But he has a twinkle about him that leaves me wanting more.
And so I took it.
Nov 16, 2018
Nov 16, 2018 at 3:51 AM UTC
You once said I was loud so I became quiet
You once said I was selfish so I started to care more for others than myself
You once said I was illiterate so I flooded my brain with books and inarticulate words
You once said I was ugly so I put on so much makeup I was borderline unrecognizable
Loud
Selfish
Illiterate
Ugly
But then it’s too quiet
Then it’s self neglectant
Then it’s nerd
Then it’s fake
I couldn’t do anything right
You once said I was ***** so I wore short skirts and crop tops just like the rest of them
You once said I was different so I fit as much of myself that I could into a perfect little mold
You once said I was husky so I stopped eating lunch
You once said I was lonely so I started befriending more guys than I could count
*****
Different
Husky
Lonely
But then it’s ******
Then it’s wanna be
Then it’s anorexic
Then it’s *****
Trying got me nowhere and i’ll never be like everyone else
But wait.
Why would I want to be?
Since when I did I care about all that?
I was not loud I am just expressive
I was not selfish I’m just not open
I was not illiterate I’m just still learning
I was not ugly I just have flaws
Why did I believe you in the first place?
I was not ***** I just rock a turtleneck
I was not different we are all unique
I was not husky I just had thighs for days
I was not lonely…am not lonely.
So why would I change myself for the likes of you?
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 8:57 AM UTC
My *** drive stays on a thousand..
I find hair pulling, neck ******* to be very fulfilling....the harder you pull...the more my ocean send waves of pure and sluty pleasures thru my body...almost like it's in my blood to be stroked until I become a she-devil...rough play introduced by yours truly...whips..and chains couldn't contain this ****** I want to put on you...the shy me resist the urge to straddle you and give you my everything...in fear of you not being able to understand that yours truly is a freak...don't hold back...give me your all... because in about 3 more flicks of that delightful tongue of yours... yours truly will be pulling your hair..arched back...hips rocking..lip biting...to muffle the need to call your name...as a low key safe word... ******* me...let's play out all my ***** fantasies... choking me with each stroke... because the real freaks know that choking intensify everything... have no mercy on my sweet spot...because I came to play...as you have now realized I can keep this behavior up for hours...which turn into days... because we both know now we ****** with some inner freaks...I don't want the standard *** I like everything extraordinary even my ******* Give me your inner **** star and I promise yours truly will turn that person out...fuck standards...I make my own **** me til I *** rules...house...car...hotel... outdoors...bathroom....floor...bed..dresser...kitchen table..wall...sofa....just to name a few...can be our meet up spot..find the time...I'll bring...toys..rope..gag...blindfold..never lubrication in this freak bag of pleasure... Me is all the **** you'll ever need! Yours truly is a freak that's been unleashed...
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 7:36 AM UTC
I came here for criticism
To be loved by many
I came here to share my truth
To see if I was any good
But how will I know
If you don't tell me
So all I ask is to review my work
as if I was good enough to be here
Will i get rejected?
Or will I aspire?
How will I know?
I am not looking for approval.
Just to become a better writer
So if you hate my truth then tell me why.
Jul 14, 2017
Jul 14, 2017 at 3:42 PM UTC
i
believed
you
when
you
said
i
was
worth
it
i
believed
you
when
you
said
i
was
crazy
i
believed
you
when
you
said
i
was
a
dream
i
believed
you
when
you
said
you
hated
me
i
believed
every
last
lie
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 27, 2016 at 5:04 AM UTC
I don't give a ****
The **** doesn't give a smell
The smell doesn't give a cloud
The cloud doesn't give a raindrop
The raindrop doesn't give a splash
The splash doesn't give a ripple
The ripple doesn't give a shiver
The shiver doesn't give a cold
The cold doesn't give a sneeze
The sneeze doesn't give a snot
The snot doesn't give a ******
The ****** doesn't give a dirt
The dirt doesn't give a bacteria
The bacteria doesn't give a rod
The rod doesn't give a fish
The fish doesn't give a fin
The fin doesn't give an end
The end doesn't give a death
The death doesn't give a grave
The grave doesn't give a flower
The flower doesn't give a root
The root doesn't give a plant
The plant doesn't give a strawberry
The strawberry doesn't give a seed
The seed doesn't give a sprout
The sprout doesn't give a leaf
The leaf doesn't give a stem
The stem doesn't give a bud
The bud doesn't give a flower
The flower doesn't give a petal
The petal doesn't give a pollen
The pollen doesn't give a nectar
The nectar doesn't give a honey
The honey doesn't give a sugar
The sugar doesn't give a grain
The grain doesn't give a flour
The flour doesn't a bread
The bread doesn't give a toast
The vein doesn't give a blood
The blood doesn't give a heart
The heart doesn't give me up
And I already told you,
I still don't give a **** about it!
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 5:59 PM UTC
Why create me?
Do you love me or hate me.
Whats the purpose?
I feel fckng worthless.
Why so serious?
This addiction has me feeling delirious.
Im at the end
Cant comprehend
I'm a fake
I pretend to be a man
Just a phony
Faux
Spec of dust
Grain of sand.
But yet....
I understand.
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 1:48 PM UTC
Some times,
I Feel like,
no one,
likes me,
and then,
I realise,
I don't care,
From the shaved part,
of the back of my hair,
to my toes,
I don't really care.
I don't care,
how you see me,
I don't mind it,
at all,
Just cause,
you can see,
doesn't mean,
you know,
a single thing,
about me,
just cause,
you can't open up,
your soul,
to let someone,
different in,
to let someone else,
see you fall,
to be able,
to be weak,
to be able,
to see we are,
all freaks,
but notice how less,
different,
we all are.
because blood runs,
through me,
and runs,
through you,
and everybody,
can't we try to,
use some virtues,
try to help,
each other out,
rather then,
shove everyone,
different,
to the ground.
I don't care,
about you,
from shaved part,
of the back of my hair,
to my toes,
if you're only out,
to hurt me,
But I will always leave,
my heart to my soul,
wide open,
so you can,
see me,
for me,
And I will leave,
my arms,
stretched out,
left to right,
to help anyone,
in a bad time,
And maybe,
then you could finally,
understand.
how less different,
we all are,
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 14, 2016 at 8:56 AM UTC
I don't care anymore.
But that's a lie...
If I didn't care,
I wouldn't write.
But why?
Why do I still have hope for this?
It's not getting any better,
That's obvious.
Why do I treat my heart like this?
Give up the torture,
Nothing's left.
I had all that love...
You didn't understand.
I gave it freely,
And got burned.
See if I care for you anymore
See if I love just once more
No.
Never again.
I won't waste my pearls on swine
The final decision is mine.
But...
Truth is,
I still care...
I just wish I didn't....
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 6:56 PM UTC
"As I walked in a ocean, embracing the fastly moving waves hitting my knees like it had that much power, I noticed a two sea shells; A white one, and a grey one. I picked them up and eyed them. Then I picked up the white one carefully and listened. It had peaceful wind playing and As I picked up the darker one, My hand my stabbed slightly by a pointy hedge. Then the question came to mind. Heaven or Hell?~"
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 9:15 AM UTC
Cut cut cutting out the cardboard of my tongue
I can no longer taste your kiss as my body has gone numb
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
Chopped off at the root of me, my essence running red
Something stupid, clumsy and dark stumbles at my door
I told you to get out of here and not come back no more
But silly you you slit your throat and dont know how to sew
Looking in my window for answers, acting like I know
Choke me with a guitar string, this music will be the death of me
But it'll get me lots of *** so I don't even sweat the heat
Time will stop ticking when the world has finally lost its rhythm
And I'll be sitting on an oil drum screaming out of tune at children
Old men die just to do it once and see if they survive
While im happy just popping pills to see if im alive
I can no longer taste your kiss as my body has gone numb
But I still feel my way around the barrel of my gun
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 12:47 PM UTC
People hate being rejected
When you ask someone out in a date and they say no
Or when you go in for an interview
And look your best
You want the job so badly
And they say they'll call
But never do
You hate it
Or when you get rejected from ***
Yes ***
Guys get rejected
And it *****
But when a girl gets rejected
It's like a contraption of pain and mixed emotions going through you
You stumble
And cry and think
Did I do something wrong?
Am I not good looking enough for you?
Are you bored of me?
I don't turn you on anymore?
What's wrong with me?
Even if I'm fully naked and on top of you
You say no
Geeze isn't that what you always wanted?
Me naked
Showing off my skin
My body to you
Instead of wearing a shirt or bra
You told me before that you rather have me naked
And on you
Now that I finally did that
Nothing happens?
You lightly push me off and say I'm to tired?
Geeze all that work for nothing ?
I built up my confidence just to do that you know?
It *****
Rejection *****
And I'm here laying in bed right next to you... Naked
Some guy would be happy to lay next to a girl naked
They would caress my body and ****** me
They would have the best time of there life
But all I want is you
Just you
Making sweet love to me
What does a girl have to do to get some satisfaction around here ??
Honestly...
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 5:48 AM UTC
Let me be
Don't ask if I'm okay
My depression
Defines me
Nothing you can say
Will make me truly happy
It's disheartening
Of that I'm aware
But truth is
I don't really care
Nothing against you
But it seems to be
That being blue
Makes me happy
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 9:04 PM UTC