#horoscopes
There’re so many sad love poems around here.
If you guys need help negotiating love’s slippery slope,
let me offer you, your own, romantic horoscope!:
*Don’t court romantic disaster
don’t mistake a lightbulb for the moon
Titanic wasn't a rom com
and a sad update:
Grand romantic gestures don’t happen anymore,
you're lucky to get a vibration in our pocket with a "sorry" text*
I know what you're thinking though, “We didn’t know the moon was useless until we landed on it,” but once you’ve ‘landed’ on a guy (or girl), once or twice, it’s too late—you’re likely ‘in it.’
Big picture-wise, I think we all have Shakespeare to thank for unrealistic, romantic storylines. Romeo & Juliet are the perfect example—they meet, fall in love and marry the very next day.
In Shakespeare’s defense though, love in his world-building was always messy and imperfect, and there were few "happily ever after" narratives. (The exception being Beatrice and Benedick, in ‘Much Ado About Nothing’).
In a side note, my weekly horoscope (Libra) for the Thanksgiving holiday reads:
“You’ve become so self-centered, It’s all about you. What about your family? Before you go emo and angry, change your perspective—own it—strive to improve relationships.”
Sarsh (so harsh), in this writer’s opinion.
.
.
(Songs for this):
Love Is In Town by Brenda Boykin
Do You Even Know? by Rae Morris**
Nov 23, 2024
Nov 23, 2024 at 11:40 AM UTC
My Astrologer, *** and Love’ horoscope, for Halloween, is grim and on-trend for me.
(Libra) “Get ready to take some chill-time - give yourself the space to recover. People pleasing is out, boundaries are in!” Yeah, I’m like Texas, I have unsecure boundaries.
Sure, I KNOW horoscopes are horoscopes but while other signs get unicorns & puppies:
Aries: “Use your deepest desires to please yourself, step into your power.”
Gemini: “Your curious and bubbly nature shines, shoot your shot for that special someone!”
Cancer: “Be at home in your feels, your needs & emotional expressions are valued, go deeper.”
I’m getting **** it up buttercup,” thanks universe - what did I ever do to you?
We’ve been scanning the teen magazine fall looks, “We’re living in a bold era, a time of expression!” They declare, which means dramatic-metallic eyeliners, goth grunge, bold reds and Beyoncé’s “Renaissance silvers.” Luckily, Yale’s pretty low fashion environment, because seasonal changes are a lot to keep up with.
I love Autumn, with its colorful leaves, pumpkin lattes and colder nights, but coming from the south (in ‘21), I had no idea how badly heated air could dry out my skin and hair (freshie year, my thumb literally started to crack, like a plastic Barbie). In the spirit of fall fashion and maintenance, my entire crew made an Ulta store run this morning for hair masks, detox tonics and skin moisturizers - we’re ready, bring on the cold.
The best smelling places on earth are Ulta and Yankee Candle stores. In my religion, heaven smells like Starbucks in the morning, Chick-fil-A around noon and Ulta stores as the sun goes down and things turn dreamy and romantic.
Nov 8, 2023
Nov 8, 2023 at 8:32 AM UTC
They dictate our lives,
How they are in space,
Exactly when we are born.
How they are in space,
Or the constellations,
When an individual is born.
Sep 20, 2020
Sep 20, 2020 at 12:51 PM UTC
They say past lives don’t exist
They aren’t real
We just need to hear about ourselves
It’s how we cope, just how we deal
We only exist until we don’t
DNA is why we’re “unique”
Horoscopes and the cosmos are for a mind that’s meek
We romanticize as shortcuts to answers we seek
Yet we hear great songs with our hearts
Before our ears
And every time a baby is born
Or a person dies
We shed tears
The clock never stops
even after years
Nostalgia creeps in
worse than our fears
You don’t stop getting deja vu
No matter how many nights we see the moon
It still has power in engulfing you
So plump, so bright
A big flashlight for the dark of night
The light at the end of the tunnel
A reminder of the suns return
A reason to look into the sky
A lighthouse for the nocturnal voyages
They say dreams are fragments of memory
But my dreams have shared destiny
And my friends have found rest in me
Through the idea of divinity
I’ve found the best in me
In every empty room
The wails and moans of a ghost can be heard
The remnants of yourself
Or another
Will always hurt
Until the next rebirth
Oct 19, 2018
Oct 19, 2018 at 8:37 PM UTC
pisces: what is it about love that always has you in doubt? really, whose feelings are you unsure about? his or yours? and tell me—will it ever be enough?
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 12:40 AM UTC
Aries-
oh what have you done to deserve this?
so much hate in your heart for yourself
yet you were living a lie
I hope you're happy now
Taurus-
sweet child, what a pity that people can't help
but leave you
how many tears did you shed when he said
he didn't love you back?
I hope you find peace within yourself
Gemini-
I'm sorry he doesn't see you're the one
you're both stuck in this never ending
paradox where no one wins
don't change yourself just to please
the unpleasable
I hope you're whole again one day
Cancer-
you poor, tired soul. take a seat and look in the mirror for a change.
you are nothing if not beautiful.
please be kind to yourself
I hope you find happiness one day
Leo-
oh what a warrior you are. wartorn land and heart.
you're much more than your mistakes.
take a look at everyone around you.
I hope you realize you're not alone
Virgo-
my honey bear, my sweetie pie
your hands still shake when they call your name.
stop pretending you're okay.
there's nothing to be afraid of
I hope one day you find clarity
Libra-
you beautiful creature, how many times has someone failed to compliment you?
that number is in the negatives now and you're still on your high horse
get off for a second and ground yourself. it's only a matter of time.
I hope you forgive and forget
Scorpio-
my light, my dark, my everything in between
stop and smell the roses
can't you hear them singing for you?
your eyes always did make my heart stop
I hope you forget why you're hurting
Sagittarius-
baby bear cub, you sweet little thing
how many days have you been at sea? enough to not love them back
just remember where you came from
I hope your dreams come true
Capricorn-
my one true love affair, you're mighty small for someone who loves to talk
your nose freckles never seemed so prominent
I love your laugh, I love your cry
I hope you realize what you've done to me
Aquarius-
my life and my wannabe lover, you're drowning in regret
I can smell the whiskey on your breath
yet you're too drunk to see straight
I hope you remember who you are
Pisces-
my soulmate and best friend
I know you're still hurting
but open up for a change and let them know the real you
you can't sweep it under the rug forever
I hope you can be yourself
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 11:57 PM UTC
Leo: Remember everyone is fighting. Be patient, forgive, but never allow yourself to be a doormat to those who care less about you than you do them. Forget the wrath. Find the joy in the power it brings you.
Virgo: Do not stunt your growth trying to entertain the opinions of other people. You know in the end, you have to be the most important person in your life. Grow.
Libra: Quit running. You will never find yourself in other people, so stop trying. Desperation does not look good around your neck. Hold your chin high and look inside yourself for what you need.
Scorpio: Go. Stop leaving claw marks in your wake. Know that what you think you need is not always so. You are worth more than what you have been selling yourself for. Pride is important to you, but it is still okay to cry if you need to. Say goodbye to what is less than you.
Sagittarius: It is okay to say no. Don’t apologize anymore for having an opinion. Speak your mind, let yourself be heard. Do not quiet your desires for someone else’s.
Capricorn: The past doesn’t matter anymore. Close the book, shut the door. Stop searching for answers and know that it all happened for a reason. It will make sense soon if you let it.
Aquarius: Do not make friends with your demons. Clean the skeletons from your closet. Take a long walk tonight and allow yourself to feel the weight of sadness like a moth eaten sweater. Fold it up in the morning and put it in a box. Throw it away.
Pisces: Stop being selfish and cruel. Put the bourbon away, put your phone away for the night. Sleep by yourself and see what you dream of. People are not trying to ruin you like you are them. Forget revenge.
Aries: Let go. Do not cling to what you think is saving you. Do not drink tonight, do not tell them you love them again if you do not mean it. Be careful to not push away the people who truly care for the one who doesn’t.
Taurus: It is time to stop caving in on yourself. Reach out to someone, stop to smell the flowers. Find beauty in this world again.
Gemini: You’re almost done hurting. I know your mother told you the storm never lasts forever and you doubted her. Let the rain leave you now. It is okay to not define yourself by your sadness.
Cancer: Let the things and people you are bitter about leave you. Do not let memories haunt you any longer. Wash them off in the river while it’s still warm. Baptize yourself.
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 8:18 PM UTC
The horoscope says
We’re not meant to be that
Good friends is
All we ever could be
Apparently the air
Between us
Is highly conducive to
Failure in relationships
That romance
Between a Virgo and an Aquarius
Is as likely as getting a suntan
In the middle of *******
Winter.
Well, you know what?
Those astrologers
Can go ahead and kiss
My *** that you love so much
Because clearly they’ve got it
All ****** up
Like my hair after 8 PM
On Saturdays.
Why exactly does it matter
That I was born in August
A year after
You were born in January?
Is that why we don’t hold hands?
Is that why nobody knows
Including us
Exactly what the **** we are?
Is the planetary alignment
At the times of our birth
To blame for why
We could never
Have a proper date?
You see the reason
Why I’m all messed up is
Because I downloaded an app
And it told me that
It was being nice
When it said
We should just be friends.
And really
I shouldn’t care.
It’s just an app.
What does it matter?
And yes, it’s true
It doesn’t matter, still
I couldn’t help but wonder
If maybe
It’s not the only one
Who sees things
That way.
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 10:54 PM UTC