#hemingway
I didn't win the pageant
because those ******* wouldn't know beauty if it beat them over their 'do's with a porch plank.
My Mediterranean sultriness was not what they were looking for;
them with their politeness and their narrow-lipped smiles holding back the churning reflux that their hearts produce.
They are not human.
As a baby, I was different.
I spoke within minutes, asking for a mirror before milk,
and sharing Portuguese brandy with my father in the library before the month was out.
Let others become checkers at Target.
Let others slave in the shamba under a broiling sun.
They do not have my sculptured cheekbones,
and so must scramble and struggle while I laze under an awning in a cafe,
accepting the dazzled worship of waiters named Jean-Guy.
But look, it hasn't been all roses and honey, just the same.
I stayed barefoot until I was twelve, by choice.
I whipped all the local boys,
and was the terror of the American compound.
I first considered pageants when I was caught siphoning gas from a diplomat's car.
The diplomat took me inside and stood with his back to me,gazing through his wife's sheer curtains at the stucco buildings across the street, and said,
"There are other things
you could be doing."
Soon I was shivering,
my arm dangling boneless over the edge of the dining room table,
smiling at the patterned copper ceiling.
I had still been in command of myself when he lost all his polish and said things to me that were not diplomatic, but rather,
the shouts of a drowning man finding shore.
So anyway,
these ******* looked at me critically, as if I were a steer at auction,
each of them a little complacent fat cask of petty.
I knew I couldn't win,
and my mind turned, as it always has,
toward ways to rain down destruction on my enemies' heads.
I have a little French cahier
that I write down my dreams and plans in.
If the gendarmes ever find it, I'm so ******
But never mind.
The world of pageants plateaus early--
you're done at twenty, turned loose in the streets to blink big-eyed
at the onrushing autobus that will flatten you dead.
Does this sound like me?
Does it?
I am a girl without an umbrella,
because it never dares to rain on my perfect creamy shoulders.
I own no pearls,
but I have six different divining decks,
one for each day of the week, and then I go to Mass on Sunday.
I didn't win the pageant,
but I escaped to Algiers and met a man.
In the morning, we start out together for Kilimanjaro--
I shall be barefoot, in my element once more,
and Macomber will have some sort of accident and leave everything to me.
Heft those trunks, bush guides,
I forgot my mirror and am keen to retrieve it
so that I may kiss my image as one would Cerberus,
if he were female
and as pretty as me.
_________
Aug 30, 2025
Aug 30, 2025 at 8:47 AM UTC
It's the last straw, brawling into a strange haul oh yes,
undress my dear page boy in the watercress.
His sundew skin pierce within a honey drop,
rock-hard bridge we blow the hourglass
dynamite up flew too few refuse to shake
the earth, a plane, kamikaze, tooooo late!
He runs, my panting rabbit, fly! I'll come
and put a bullet through you.
Maiden, oh maiden! Maiden of beauty,
Hath you longed to show such folly?
It's always sayonara, but to thee,
blonde beauty, au revoir.
Delicious dear, do spit it into me,
the ignominious cure.
Jul 21, 2025
Jul 21, 2025 at 10:48 AM UTC
"we were never lonely
and never afraid
when we were together.
I know that the night
is not the same
as the day:
that all things are different,
that the things of the night
cannot be explained in the day,
because they do not then exist,
and the night can be a dreadful time
for lonely people once their
loneliness has started.
But with Catherine there was
almost no difference in the night
except that it was an even better time.
If people bring so much courage
to this world the world has to ****
them to break them, so of course
it kills them. The world breaks every
one and afterward many are
strong at the broken places."
A Farewell to Arms,
Ernest Hemingway
Nov 14, 2023
Nov 14, 2023 at 7:43 AM UTC
He was all charisma, curls, and commitment issues
And ****** I fell for it
Apr 23, 2020
Apr 23, 2020 at 7:39 PM UTC
*** in the morning
Death in the afternoon
And it was dark
Milling about stacks
Of paperbacks and out of focus snapshots
Some of her in the shower
But pay heed
She's an iceberg
Warm her up on a bed of nails
Until she's a plaintive waterfall
And then tie her to the scaffolding
Of a clean well lighted place
What remains out of sight
Through omission
Through silence
Through childlike syntax
Shall float to the surface
In its own due time
Nov 16, 2019
Nov 16, 2019 at 4:23 PM UTC
This ache seems to be
like Papa's White Elephants;
valuable in a sense
I've yet to understand.
Busy body, tranquil mind,
a joke I say!
The fishing line
is ever tangled.
Another
wasted morning,
another
throwaway.
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018 at 8:29 AM UTC
You wrote the notes inside your secret diary.
And day by day, the pages filled up.
You got yourself another set of blank pages.
And to this day, you keep writing more.
If you're writing
word for word for word,
what's the point if it isn't heard?
You're Hemingway in every right.
Give them lines.
Show them what your heart feels like.
Share them.
Wear them like your favorite long-sleeve.
Bare them like the nakedness
you feel when you're writing.
Again and again, you contemplate letting it out,
the secrets of your inner thoughts,
begging to be screamed.
You want the world to know what it feels like,
the boys, the toys, the heartbreaks, and the dreams.
Don't hide it.
Let it be seen.
Your success isn't by their acceptance;
success is being free.
If you're writing
word for word for word,
what's the point if it isn't heard?
You're Hemingway in every right.
Give them lines.
Show them what your heart feels like.
Share them.
Wear them like your favorite long-sleeve.
Bare them like the nakedness
you feel when you're writing.
Not everyone will love every wrinkle when you're sixty-three.
Maybe your rhymes aren't for them, but they're for me.
Share them.
I wanna hear them.
Let them roar.
The pages aren't blank.
You know you wrote them for more.
If you're writing
word for word for word,
what's the point if it isn't heard?
You're Hemingway in every right.
Give them lines.
Show them what your heart feels like.
Share them.
Wear them like your favorite long-sleeve.
Bare them like the nakedness
you feel when you're writing.
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018 at 7:58 PM UTC
but i am putting it down
until it hurts
and grips me vicariously
'til i'm twisted around-
i'm turned into a mug's handle
it's the same plastic feeling
i had before
i miss the solid glass,
and the strips of wood
i teased with my angel fingers
the mirror couldn't see me
today
i didn't let it.
how could i?
my eyes are too small, here
shaggy planet earth
was invaded in 1981
beginning with my first soul:
i was so young
i didn't know better
tossed out, i'm left to drink up
the abundance of this world.
swallowing more light and dark
than my small eyes can;
i turned to ethanol.
hemingway entered my life
in the fall of '09
i couldn't have been more in love.
maybe that's why
i'm pen in one hand, drink in the other.
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 1:58 PM UTC
The lake was a sprawling uneven mass
Like a slithering serpent of uncertainty
Underneath our boat
We counted the moments to the future
The yards from the past were still very few
We feared of getting lost in the quest
To relinquish our past
And to marry a sweet future
Our destinies intertwined
On the road to blood and war
The war was unending
The blood was raining
Then we found ourselves
In the embrace of each other
We fell in love
We fell from grace
The ugly war
The incredible noise
The unimaginable distances
We had to escape
The boat was just a metaphor
Of the times we only knew
How important love could be
In saving our souls from drowning
In the coldness of life.
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017 at 4:08 AM UTC
With Neruda, I fell in love with you.
It was so beautiful, I felt I had to close my eyes wide shut,
just to remember this was not a dream.
Then Hemingway came along, by then I was feeling a little lost in your eyes. Some days were good, some days were bad. Yet, I still held on.
But when I suddenly found myself with Bukowski on my nightstand.
Well, I knew then, baby, we were ****** He brought me back to reality, and I understood at that moment, that we were finally done.
Sandoval
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 6:09 AM UTC
I'm a man of the night
I've been branded
My poetry serves no purpose to the world.
I've not been branded a hero,
I've'd seen how those all end:
Unquestionable statues of bronze or gold
or rather forgotten,
disposed after 2 weeks of fame after-death.
I want neither.
I'm no hero, no. I'm no gigantic bearded poet
Hemingway shot himself
I couldn't muster courage
or decandence.
I. made. to.
Stand.
Shoulder to shoulder.
Serving my servers.
Out of love.
I carry. As they carry.
as I get. Carried.
As one shelters me this moment;
As other. Eloquent. Frightening. Dashing and Proud.
as she said;
titles are in fact...
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 27, 2017 at 3:17 PM UTC
Fermented ideas
Growing old in cellars
A cripple’s hand
Looking like old leather
Reaching out to touch the skies
Feeling love as the white dove flies
Empty bottles
Dancing in the crypt
A poets tears flowing as ink
Following the years of saddened drink
In a boat, I take up the oars
My dream to escape these horrid shores
In the seas, where ideas flow free
Tiss here that I ceased to be
Feb 5, 2017
Feb 5, 2017 at 11:42 PM UTC
I hope Dave doesn't mind, but I am used to her holding my hands now, the certainty of death has a curious way of removing barriers of uncertain modesty.
Today she has come in with a basket of my favourite books because unlike the sombre woman in white overalls, she knows I need my Hemmingway more than I need the dripping blood of another man. After all, it was she who started that stupid ritual of calling me Old Man, after she saw me reading Hemmingway at 16 - the stain of the spilled medical cocktail on her white shirt still makes me wonder whether it was all a mistake.
She has stopped crying these days, the tears make me uncomfortable like they always do - Her 2nd year analysis on patriarchal oppression of men might have helped her understand my plight, but it can't stop her from wiping off the occasional tear when she thinks i am asleep.
Today she can't stop kissing my clean shaven head - i wonder if it feels different from the days when she used to play with my outgrown tufts. The kisses make me a bit more naked than the dressing gown they make me wear, but it's the kind of nakedness that makes you feel feel more thoughtful on winter nights.
As she strokes my face, the edges of her engagement ring are gently rubbing across my cheeks, and reminding me that he will arrive any moment.
She has to leave a bit early today- Dave is meeting her parents, so she apologies as if I will die the next day - what ******* I am gonna stick around for no less than 2 weeks the doctors have said.
As i see her leave, I take out the half torn tissue on which i had been secretly scribbling - old habits die hard. The poem was almost done - almost, apart from the last lines. You see, when you are dying, you tend to become obsessed with endings.
"And so although Its been twenty years since you said I would be your last,
You still look beautiful when you wear your past"
I hope Dave doesn't mind.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 12:56 PM UTC
I saw my reflection in the glass that I lifted to my face. It was the
reflection of a drunken disappointment, and this red wine tasted
like loneliness and sad poetry. I don't know what you did to
me, but
Hemingway, Neruda and Fitzgerald all went down in history,
and I'm starting to understand why. Unrequited love. One more sip
and the next drunken poet is me.
-Sandoval
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 7:41 PM UTC
Sometimes, with a drink, my poetry makes music.
Others, it echoes Hemingway's cry.
I never liked editing, but always did like
Talking *****
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016 at 8:01 PM UTC
The woman who stands behind you in line presses her shopping cart
against your hipbone until you wince and tell her to
stop. She makes a face at you as she pulls away. You sigh.
You stare at the magazines that surround you;
you read something about the president having a gay affair-
(That can't possibly be true! you think,) and even though you
know better than to trust the tabloids,
you're very gullible. God. The person in front of you in line is taking
forever to check out, and you're tired of reading, so you hum
Fritz Reiner's Concerto for Orchestra until a man behind you tells you to
'Please stop humming, thank you very much.’
Well, **** him. **** all of this. And you can’t help but
wonder why they only sell weight loss magazines by checkout counters when, really,
they should be selling Harper Lee, George Orwell, Ernest Hemingway. You like
Edgar Allan Poe, too, but you figure that
he's maybe a little bit too dark for the supermarket.
Ah. Finally. After what seems like forever,
it's your turn to check out your groceries:
you place your items onto the conveyor belt-- milk, cheese, spinach, bread.
The woman behind the cash register scans your
credit card and asks you for your signature. Your mind is, for some reason,
stuck on some poem you memorized in high school, something about
disappointment and depression, and even though
you’re distracted, you sign your name on the little screen in front on you.
For a moment, your life feels thready and
vulnerable. But the feeling soon passes, and then you're back to
carrying groceries back to your car. What was that
poem you were trying to remember? Somewhere in the back of your
mind, you can recall the feeling of a woman pressing a shopping cart against your
hipbone. Something about desperation and desolation.
Ernest Hemingway? You shrug your shoulders. In the end,
you guess,
nothing really matters.
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 4, 2016 at 12:35 AM UTC
Mother threw me away
****** me in and spit me out
The pavement still tastes like your thighs
Like bubble gum underneath the chemistry table
Where I first held hands with
Some other girl I loved
Not knowing her reaction but
We burned flowers cut with kitchen knives.
I woke up to ashes lining my breakfast
Tongue thick with Amaryllis
Thinking if God asks you my name
Say serpent,
Say hello —
A disaster of two elements
You and me
If we combined
Our neon wrists.
Does Ares care about
How I touch you, with the lights off
You tell me the walls
Already know
What I do with my wolf teeth
And your caffeinated bellybutton,
They find you in three nights.
Rebirth is not as kind
To my combusting spine, replace
Ghost sin with your birth right
Jacob’s carnage
I paid for with eyelashes,
Long glances — my dignity
Wrapped in ****** white, and impotent boy skin
Becomes a coffin.
Sep 1, 2016
Sep 1, 2016 at 11:41 PM UTC
I have been seeking a moment when
My paean would see the light
A melody when your serrated laugh
Crescendoes and obviates all evils
But what I'm truly wishing for
Is to be a scabbard to your sword
The bell that wakes you up at noon
A hymn that you know by heart
And the rituals that you adhere to
Tell me how I could shield
The furtive rhythm of your chords
To venerate the echoes of your fingertips
And be completely absorbed in your silhouette
I am proclaiming my paean
That seems five months of age
But in fact it has been decades
Trapped amongst verses and rhymes
If Hemingway was exchanging breaths
You could be his martini glass
Or the obsession of Shelley with Keats
Or maybe a beer bottle on Hank's grave
But the golden lotus has been outdated
For you are my fierce flames
To sanctify and to revive
And unlike Plath I'm living to see
When my paean would come to life


Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016 at 4:23 PM UTC
and it was only after van Gogh realised that
the bullet could paint the brain better than the brush,
that he became immortal
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 24, 2016 at 9:50 AM UTC
I like you
We like you
She loves you
But I don't like me
I don't know if she likes me
For I am in love with a drunken woman
I follow her trail to bars
And clubs
And the like
I always leave early because she becomes lost in the crowd
She had has a beautiful way of becoming
One with those around her.
She dances herself drunk
And drinks
And walks
Until she finds her way to my place
She drinks a little more
She kisses me goodbye
For she has a dreadful date that cannot be missed
She is as drunk as I am drunk on her
I ask her to stay with me in the doorway.
She says she'll see me at breakfast.
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 5:36 PM UTC
I regret to inform you that your lawfully, wedded boyfriend, Robert Cohn, no longer want to be lawful, wedded, or your boyfriend. He'd much rather be ******** Brett and writing books about what she tells him behind closed doors
Sincerely,
Jake Barnes
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 5:44 PM UTC
Grow up: airplanes aren't shooting stars.
You're beautiful yet cold, like snow.
Someday I will meet you there.
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 11:28 PM UTC