#heartbroke
If I knew that you were coming....
If I knew that my time was really ticking.
If I knew that an insidious parasite was coming to eat me alive.
To **** the marrow from my bones, tell me I was too much as it's fat belly heaved.
To whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
That I'd find 'I love you' in the putrid ***** of your lies.
I've got a 20 dollar bill that says the freezing, ice cold water looks tempting.
Walking twenty foot through flames, mad with desire for flesh was on my to do list.
There's a line of twelve inch spikes, especially sharpened, just begging for me to lie down.
I'd of tightened the ropes that held my wrists to the tracks of the new freight train.
Because there are worse things than death.
I've dragged my nails along these floorboards to find what remained of me.
I've tied what was left into a satin cloth and lowered her into the ground.
Worse things than death, is being dead long before you die.
Nov 18, 2025
Nov 18, 2025 at 5:33 PM UTC
I told you all my pain
Made you bleed for me
I let you go with all my shame
I left you in tears
It meant nothing to me
Still, you made promises of love
Kind soul
You fell for the wrong girl
Wiping tears from your eyes
The last kiss of goodbye
Don’t you realize
I just wanted to see your heart broke
The same way they did with mine
Love has left me to die
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 2:34 PM UTC
Your beastly desires were always hidden beneath
A calm and cool exterior, hiding truth
You waited and hunted me, tracked me
And watched me as your intentions stayed aloof,
Preparing to at last spring your vicious trap
Cleverly laid in the deep woods of passion
You are a beast, who stalks this once lush forest
And I am your prey, lying dead in trees now ashen
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 24, 2020 at 8:34 PM UTC
Your life is the ocean
And your heart is a wave,
Like a dog in the sun
I found my peace in your storm,
As I sail for days
I keep drowning away
Would my Sailors forgive me
for feeling this way
You said,
"Hey Mister!
Do follow through
Let's go and build a house
Big enough to fit us two
We'll weave a castle there
The castle of our dreams
My Knight in dining armour
And I your blanket queen"
Girl you're just like that pretty
house
With wooden beams."
Dec 9, 2019
Dec 9, 2019 at 12:43 AM UTC
My heart is in pieces.
It’s crumbling.
My heart is in pieces.
It’s shattering
as if it were glass thrown against the ground,
as if it were a fine china that had been beat by a hammer.
It feels like it can never be put back together.
Jun 25, 2019
Jun 25, 2019 at 11:33 PM UTC
There were times that i was your "babe"
Times that i was your "world"
Times that i was your "everything"
What am i now?
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 5:30 AM UTC
I made you cry,
Way to many times
But you keep saying that you're fine
And babe....
Am really trying to love you more and hurt you less.
Why won't i find a way?
I made you cry for a reason i don't get
But i can't get it of my chest.
So i still don't get why you love me?
Am just a bad dream,
That won't let you sleep.
It's messing with my head
Why won't i find a way to love you more and hurt less.
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 7:08 AM UTC
Hands all over me
Softly carressing all of me
Sensations I didn’t know I could feel
Is any of this
Even real?
You lifted me up and laid me down
Skin to skin
Lips to lips
I felt your hands
Move down my hips
Your eyes so bright and blue
Bringing up these feelings
So strange and new
One night full of bliss
Who knew
I would have to pay like this
A **** Boy
That’s all that you are
I see that now
Just a shooting star
One minute
You bring me hope and light
But you’re always gone
Before the end of the night
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 12:35 PM UTC
my heart still breaks each time i think of you
tears still form each time you cross my mind
why does it still hurt so badly? why can i not get over?
i wish i could crawl out of my skin
each time i look in the mirror i can still see each part of myself that you loved the most
i still see love burning bright in my eyes
i wish the fire would ******* die
i wish i could stop being
if i wasn't me i wouldn't think of you
no recollection of any part of the wonder of you
i wish i could forget, i wish amnesia would hit
why does my heart still beat for you?
why would i still do everything you ever asked?
why is it so easy to fall in love but so horrible to fall out of?
why can't i forget everything i love about you and move on? you've done it easy enough
i can still feel my heart breaking
even i type each letter i can still feel my heart breaking
all i ever really feel anymore is my heart breaking
i didn't think it could continue, i thought all the pieces were already shattered
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 5:48 PM UTC
Beyond the chaos the beauty intertwines. the very essence truly one of a kind. voice of an angel song of a siren. You lure me over, like youre someone to confide in. See from the outside, the battle within. A war in its own right, to pull together and win. That kindred spirit. Turned out to be you. Who i've waited for.. Yet I never knew. You let me wander into this world of your own. To find a home together in this all alone. I'd carry you with me through the rising tide.. You would pull me under with a lies you cannot hide
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 1:32 AM UTC
Her beauty broke my brain.
Short hair, ***** blond
soft to the touch
which is what I longed
to do.
It is a thing of confusing dimensions
but she made my heart
stranger then abstract art.
The pink and purple petals
melted like liquid metal
then dripped like pastel paints,
diluting the cool blue pool
with strange smoky colors
that mirrored my pleasurable pain.
She crushed my skull
on glittering stones
before the steps that descend
deigning by design to end
in my workplace parking lot.
Slender figure form
with slightly sagging sections,
but she was strange and enticing
delicious as cake icing
and I was oh so hungry.
Yellow stained
and chipped teeth
she was so sickly sweet
and addicting
like candy ****
With her strange personality
loving Star Wars fantasies
and all those horror movies
she stole
my dignity and self-control
swallowing the remnants
of a painfully broken soul.
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 8:06 AM UTC
And worst of all..
It was not these
empty screams
nor the shards of
broken lyrics I belted out...
It was the sole simple fact..
that I bled for you
I opened up to you
I believed you
And only you
inside and out...
I believed you...
when you whispered to me
Those sugar coated lies
Lying under the screaming stars
I believed you...
when you cuddled close to me
and told me it'd be alright
That I'll learn to love these scars.
And I believed you again and again
Over and over
Our story that never ends...
that I was not broken,
just simply bent
that I was not shattered,
just had a dent
that I was not pathetic,
just completely spent
that I was not crazy,
just...
well what does it matter now?
My tears inked this paper
but the thoughts of you
turned it into a long vent.
My intricately crafted emotions
now turned into a disaster
not worth a cent.
And no matter what I say
My future is already clear,
written in cement.
And I still love you..
I always will
Though I shouldn't
I relent...
May 22, 2017
May 22, 2017 at 8:17 PM UTC
If you're a pencil,
then I'm the paper,
We're perfect together,
but not forever.
Lean on me,
tell me your deepest lies.
Show me your true self,
what's under that disguise.
Spill your secrets,
Color me grey
Tear off my edges,
Mean what you want to say.
Fill me up
With your darkest thoughts.
Leave me stranded,
Alone in your room.
Let me down
With your fancy words,
And leave me to my doom.
I'll shrivel up over the ages.
With your secrets locked inside.
But you'll forget me and move on,
For the world I have died.
Because I existed
only for you
for your smiles
and the pictures you drew.
But I guess I was stupid
you never even knew
how much
I truly...
Loved You...
Jan 21, 2017
Jan 21, 2017 at 5:34 PM UTC
Show me fake love,
Lie to me in the face...
Kiss me with broken words
and hold me in an empty embrace.
Love me,
Love me not
I don't even care.
Just remember to
buy me some flowers
and play with my hair.
Compliment me
once in a while
tell me jokes and
make me smile
Make me fake promises
promise me a place
with just the two of us
and nothing but empty space.
Because love is just an illusion
that does nothing but shatter my heart
and what we have is a hopeless dream
and you'll understand that if you're smart.
Just show me fake love,
and lie to me in the face...
Kiss me with tainted words
and break me with grace
Jan 16, 2017
Jan 16, 2017 at 1:16 PM UTC
I woke up to an empty room.
another day of pills and liquor
to forget how painful a heart broke is.
How it feels like you're
burning and freezing at the same time.
Swallowing the pills down,
I force my self to function.
even though I feel like walking on a bed
of jagged pieces of my heart
that is left brittle and wasn't mine anymore
It pumps weakly, desperate for the feeling
of warmth and happiness.
My heart is yours and you discarded it.
Leaving it unwanted on the floor that I used to call a solace from world.
You discarded it on the room where you proposed your undying love to me.
I chug down bottle after bottle of numbness.
trying to drown down your tutting voice that reminds me to take care of my self.
Trying to drown all the memories of us with the golden toxic that I stocked up in the cupboard because it's your favorite.
I want to tell you that I didn't shed any tears.
You would smile at that
and said," That's my girl".
It hurts that I am not your girl anymore.
It hurts that even consuming all the things I wished you would stop using, I still can't hate you for leaving.
I still can't hate you after you engrave abandontmend into my tailbone, making my spine cold and heavy with unsecurity and dread.
I still can't hate you so I'll hate my self.
So I chug and chug again.
Swallowing pills upon pills.
Over dosing my self with numbness because
feeling the pain isn't an option.
I've built my life around you and the walls are crumbling and crumbling and crumbling.
I'm to ******* afraid that once the numbness is gone i'll be left only as ashes to scatter.
Misery is my constant companion these days.
I've learned the curve of it's lips kissing the top of my head,
remember the sound of it's voice as it soothe me into a state of catatonic disarray and the diability to continue dancing with life.
I forgot how to dance with out a partner.
I still have not shed any tears for you.
Your smile and your laugh keep echoing in my head and I want to scream until i turned into a shade.
I wonder If I'm trying to turn my self into the wraith that you always fascinated with.
I still wear the ring on my finger. I tried throwing it away but my eyes burns and I do not want to be a promise breaker.
Even if my whole body is trembling and my every beat of my heart brings sparks of pain that sears to my body, I will not be a promise breaker.
I still wore your ring on my finger.
So I chug again and again and again.
Until my mind was hazed enough, unable to make the connection of gold to your eyes.
To make a connection of white to your teeth.
To temporarily ceased to remember you and your stupid hair.
To temporarily forget about how it feels like my hearts is being squeezed tight every time I see you anywhere.
There's white foam on the corner of my mouth.
It reminds me of Hans Christian's Little Mermaid.
Of the mermaid's love and how it turned her to foam.
So when the morning light comes, I wished for my self to turn into foam instead of days where it is filled with broken bottles, white pills, and the fact that you left me for my sister
I wish for me to be strong enough to stab the heart that yearns for you and remove your ring from my finger.
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 9:35 AM UTC
i hoped every word in my poems
knocked the bricks off your wall of fear
i would have held you, protected you and loved you
until my last breath.
unfortunately, your doubts overshadowed my transparency
it is not a surprise as i have become used to the exit door
when the right human does come i will have so much love to share
i wish you the best, my friend...
im not going to sit here and lie
your beautiful and gentle glow will be missed
but i know there's nothing i could do
as you have made up your mind
i will always be here
i am in love with what we had
you brought me no stress
no lonliness and no fear
love and art, 1991,
henk holveck
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 7:07 AM UTC
A time to break is a time to cry
A place to cry is a place to express
To whom you express is to whom you have a friend
The friend of mine is the home of mine
Where my home is found is where my way of escape is found
My escape is my new life
A new life is a new love
A new love is my God
My God gave me love in the time of need
My God has placed my new life in me
My God was to whom I escaped
My God is the home I seeked
My God is where my Friend is found
My God is the epitome of my expression
My God gave a new tear to share
My God broke me: Because He made me new
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
Its not hard for me to push my emotions away
Because it's so hard for me to show them
They're already so deep inside
That it doesn't take much
They are easily hidden
I suffer in silence
I don't want anyone to worry about me
Im fine Im ok
I don't do it anymore
Its over I'm fine
All lies
But its easier for you to hear
To think everything is fine
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 3:11 AM UTC
In a world like this,
There is no such thing as bliss.
In a world like this,
There is nothing to miss.
In a word like this,
Happiness is often dismissed.
In a world like this,
I can make a promise.
In a world this,
You can make a promise.
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015 at 9:36 PM UTC
Broken and defeated
front seat of incompetence depleted
Sleep deprived and laid to rest
beating and pounding in my chest
Evident thoughts run through my mind
time seems to be falling behind
Speak a word and i shall provoke
clinching fists and i have broke
Everything turns to an outbreak of rage
no more emotion could be bottled up and caged
I fall to the floor and I burst out crying
all I feel is me slowly dying
Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 3:44 AM UTC
You broke my heart
Leaving it to fall to the ground and shattering from impact.
You destroyed me, broke me.
And you didn't even care.
But that's okay, I'll fix the pieces and put them back together.
I'm a fool,
For even falling for you.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 10:43 AM UTC
I had always frowned upon the thought of being drunk
But my God, I hated being sober
****** smirnoff was the key to falling asleep in the arms of my lover
The bitter taste of alcohol made me forget about you
I never knew the downers in alcohol could make so many memories
I was sloppy drunk with my friends laughing until the sun came up
And no I didnt want it to end
I couldn't find which direction I was supposed to go
And I didnt care
I just wanted to catch the sunrise in his beautiful eyes
And the joy in the laughter of my friends
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 8:01 AM UTC