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#happenstance
Life is what happens when you unfold what to do with the raw draw you never saw letting out-all-the-wood work I don't have children as result problems we could not wood knot marry away our unspoke foundations ate away youths Blessings unbeknownst hold truths we don't know down roads speed-bumped flying catch your air up swinging You can't have children for body's mystery slick-timing placing blame on untracked follies you did while loving With all life's out-of-crafting we unfold what to do with the refined beauty we have sitting in friendships living I found what I could knot have surpassed inside you Hopefully you see what is life's full mystery working
0
May 2
May 2, 2026 at 8:14 PM UTC
Happenings Unfolded
Be hold(v.) "keep fast or closed," as in the grasp of the hand; wind in the fist, gist of the idea -- old and given all you know a little in a world of plain words, planned plain easily defined, with a touch of humility and some time spent with Job, for patience sake, Job and Satan both made points, Satan welcomed among God's sons, on duty going to and fro on the surface establishing the wise serpent referent type having been taught the who spake true or lied who admitted novel perspective seeing per mortal a priori sentience capability, let this mindseye beyourn a beautifying chaotic whirlwind collapsing on its ownself inward twisting using science to measure gravity exactly slinging stones from out of the box, the arc containing holy what, nada, ala the emperor's new clothes, holy bible truth is spirit and must be appraised after learning why James is in truth, a key witness, offering experimental proof, try it, wisdom from the good side of reality we have being in, is first pure, uncut with no provisions for royal mind pride competition make believe, exceptionalist nation status under holy writ with Jesus init a harmless coo', see wait see peace that passeth under standing stiff pledged allegiance to the representative ideal liberty and justice for all as envisioned by six year old children. Whose faith do stories say cannot fail, whose angel serves just such children as those suffered to come to the truth, the way life makes life offer wasted years to the truth, liberty, in truth, wisdom leads little children free to think, what if whenever two or more agree, we make a holy space… mutual support structures alluded to by raw knowledge, experience taken patiently until the gravity bound whirl- wind contemplates spin-offs fractalling tighter gnosis knots recognize aggravated cogitations dissipating fog of war HOLD behold holding true allegiance bound to tell it whole, as the judge reminds the witness, once under, ever under hold those self-evident truths true, or disagree, but we the heirs of salvation, we hold certain truths, tightly "control or prevent the movement of" by grasping or constraint; buckle my shoe, three, four… opened the door, hold these truths self-evident, and should such have been kept closed secrets of the unforgivable transgression, how one knows Jesus lied, before opening We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their DNA, despite flaws, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. All of which have universally true definitions, Haps as may be disputed, happily, happen, patterns teach us to find the old way where good is… accept the wisdom found in all wisdom worships, the good lessons are easily taught, otherwise, those lessons taught by greedy people, only experience teaches those, any fool knows.
0
Apr 6
Apr 6, 2026 at 6:29 PM UTC
Threshold of plain happy
Be hold(v.) "keep fast or closed," as in the grasp of the hand; wind in the fist, gist of the idea -- old and given all you know a little in a world of plain words, planned plain easily defined, with a touch of humility and some time spent with Job, for patience sake, Job and Satan both made points, Satan welcomed among God's sons, on duty going to and fro on the surface establishing the wise serpent referent type having been taught the who spake true or lied who admitted novel perspective seeing per mortal a priori sentience capability, let this mindseye beyourn a beautifying chaotic whirlwind collapsing on its ownself inward twisting using science to measure gravity exactly slinging stones from out of the box, the arc containing holy what, nada, ala the emperor's new clothes, holy bible truth is spirit and must be appraised after learning why James is in truth, a key witness, offering experimental proof, try it, wisdom from the good side of reality we have being in, is first pure, uncut with no provisions for royal mind pride competition make believe, exceptionalist nation status under holy writ with Jesus init a harmless coo', see wait see peace that passeth under standing stiff pledged allegiance to the representative ideal liberty and justice for all as envisioned by six year old children. Whose faith do stories say cannot fail, whose angel serves just such children as those suffered to come to the truth, the way life makes life offer wasted years to the truth, liberty, in truth, wisdom leads little children free to think, what if whenever two or more agree, we make a holy space… mutual support structures alluded to by raw knowledge, experience taken patiently until the gravity bound whirl- wind contemplates spin-offs fractalling tighter gnosis knots recognize aggravated cogitations dissipating fog of war HOLD behold holding true allegiance bound to tell it whole, as the judge reminds the witness, once under, ever under hold those self-evident truths true, or disagree, but we the heirs of salvation, we hold certain truths, tightly "control or prevent the movement of" by grasping or constraint; buckle my shoe, three, four… opened the door, hold these truths self-evident, and should such have been kept closed secrets of the unforgivable transgression, how one knows Jesus lied, before opening We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their DNA, despite flaws, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. All of which have universally true definitions, Haps as may be disputed, happily, happen, patterns teach us to find the old way where good is… accept the wisdom found in all wisdom worships, the good lessons are easily taught, otherwise, those lessons taught by greedy people, only experience teaches those, any fool knows.
Continue reading...
68
Hey you, You started off as someone fun As someone who could turn the light of sun packed inside this bowl of Hope And you'd string, yes... You'd string me along. Hey you, again. Just different form. You look like someone who'd share that bone With me Who'd look at me and see the stars But you only saw a mirror to your false ideals You narcissist who only thought Of you and only you alone With all those chats, you never did you never asked: Who I was and why I was born --- Oh! Hey you... You looked different? You feel a little in between You're like those other two (or three) before... But you still hold some scars you tore your heart ligaments and you'll bring it back But I can't be here As you try to tie it, zip it, lock it and unlock it for the love I can give is so much more Than you ever deserve NOW or before So, yes, I missed you dearly Missed you last night. Even whispered: 'What if I said it was you... it was you I was thinking of?' Would you... Drop your walls and let me in Take me for what I can bring And know that I will not be Your remedy Because I, too am looking for someone to bring that torch for me. So, I walked away and said adieu Stopped looking, really and in the not so far away tune Someone called me As I stand at that corner Giddily getting my coffee The voice was gentle Even familiar It felt like HOME And I knew... I just knew. Especially when he called me out and said, "Hey, you!"
0
Jul 23, 2025
Jul 23, 2025 at 6:08 AM UTC
Hey You, Yes You, Passerby
A photo, a fragment of reality sent by my mother. Just a piece of sky, one tree, and some ground, a beautiful landscape with a hopeful, rising spring. I am not there, but I feel a gentle wind, carrying the scent of what is living. On the tram ride, I saw the damaged walls of the old house. Some people still live there. Are they disturbed or happier than I am? Appearances can be so confusing and shallow. Every perspective—another world. The truth is scattered across small backgrounds. Why do I feel amazed that not every puzzle fits? When I was returning home, a young man sat next to me. He started to talk about himself and a series of unfortunate events. He was looking at me as if I was everything while I was nothing more than a simple listener. So, I got off, wishing him good luck, knowing I wouldn't see that person again. My life is overwhelmed by random encounters. Now, I watch my memory of past situations. I’m sifting through unclear interpretations, wondering why I still dwell on symbols. I wish I could believe every circumstance was an opportunity, a unique chance and not as things are today, just casual happenstance without coherence or deeper meaning.
0
Mar 25, 2025
Mar 25, 2025 at 8:54 PM UTC
Reflection on Chance and Happenstance
Still stuck on the fence Forced to traverse a world that still doesn't make sense I could embrace the ignorance But I don't want to take that stance So I find myself stepping on toes during this awkward slow dance I wouldn't call it happenstance, Not a chance The culprit is this toxic, three-way romance Between anger, my dark passenger and everything I can't forget to remember Nothing to see here folks, At least not at first glance And that's enough to keep me in this trance ©2024
0
Jul 19, 2024
Jul 19, 2024 at 12:34 PM UTC
~•§•~ A Tightrope Fence ~•§•~
I have never known love at its awakening; To a mere happenstance, it unfurled in the simplicity of side by side walking through the streets, picturing each shared memory at every corner of it. Like we are the side story of someone else who has been on the same spot of the coffee shop, little did we know that we always share memories for someone else to tell. Have you ever memorized each word that I said that day, from the first time we met, from the way I said each syllable and how I forced myself to not stutter? Although we cannot recall each scene day by day, what matters is that I always remember each fragment of our memory each time I say your name. _It's like a collision, but it's a peculiar one. It is perfectly meant to meet each other, like it is measured accurately and approximately. But is it really worth the time?_
0
Jun 24, 2024
Jun 24, 2024 at 11:20 AM UTC
A happenstance?
love to see your smile but only when it’s coated by my love hate to see you violent but my love will calm the rough jokes that make you giggle until you forgot how grave it was to be a passing ship in a sea of storms this was happenstance, yet we cannot ignore the embers that burn, the tables we turn the shells we found on our own
0
Mar 24, 2024
Mar 24, 2024 at 9:13 AM UTC
Embers
Promies, never to, The premise of us to part. Should I ever leave you, Let being be dashed- Against black canvas. Let blood be A medium of art. These shackled hands, Consequence of circumstance And everything I have entailed. Perchance, happenstance- That which we have lived And all that was not availed. The fog of brokenness, and ache of loneliness. Against reality, we rail.
0
Jul 7, 2023
Jul 7, 2023 at 6:08 PM UTC
Red Dot Nightmare
You could change the world. You should. Repeat this inauspicious comment to someone; Age isn't part of the equation. Even the youth may listen, may remember, I should change the world. You did. Some place, at a time unknown. It's not so obvious as the Butterfly Effect; Appearing subtly, less noticeable than Pedaling into a velvet N-E Huron breeze A walker feels on her wet lips During a burnt Autumn stroll. I changed, And rocked the world Of  my loved ones.
0
Oct 5, 2021
Oct 5, 2021 at 9:00 AM UTC
No Butterfly This Time
# *Like two streams of vapor,  intertwining; in, and then  out;;of one life, 'till the next   dance continues:  and we find ourselves once again, yet under different moments of history,   each. How can a soul desire so much that it transcends, even time-  in it's need  to find its fit, again, and again, and again..* #
0
Oct 11, 2019
Oct 11, 2019 at 6:03 PM UTC
re-turn/ing(s).
I don’t believe in her But how else could I explain What phenomenon it was That drew us to the same place The same time The same moment How could I formulate an answer To define the reason why Our eyes fit so perfectly In the same gaze And why our minds Seem to mold Together into one Single entity? Was it luck or happenstance That crossed our paths And joined our lives?
0
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 11:09 PM UTC
Lady Luck
*Long lines looped the carousel the first time you gazed my eye, mounted on that chestnut mare, grasped tight to the reigns up high. I see his face around the bend, a corn dog in his hand. Locking eyes as I rise. I blush, above the crowd he stands.    Light flickers, mouths water delicate contoured lips laugh. I smile. The music hesitates along with my breath. I think I'll be staying awhile. Bewildered and a little dizzy, I dismount with a giggle. I lick my dry lips, dreamily, hoping he is single. With the wind, a light mist blows. I can see her slowly get wet, stumbling she falls my way. I'm excited, this day isn't over yet Drip, drip, drip upon my face, anxiously, I turn to hurry. In my haste, he catches my waist swallowing... I fall covertly. Lips moisten, I pull her near a kiss, slipped, tongues twirl, wanton whispers whisked away, drenched deep passion's unfurl. A stranger's kiss upon my lips beneath the dreary skies. Soaking wet, I'm still on fire He caught me by surprise. A stranger's kiss upon my lips beneath the queching skies. Heaven sent, a burning desire; she, such a welcomed surprise.*
0
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 1:37 PM UTC
The Affair At The Fair (A Collaboration)
Happenstance is what's really happening Happenstance is how it all once did occur A moment in time becomes a memory without end Chance encounters with a special someone along the way Brilliantly designed random impromptu rendezvous Casual and natural Easy and planned To see someone there in person And to know all that they maybe might be A brief hello How do you do? Better now that I met       someone so wonderful Exactly like you. -R. 8.17 -LA
0
Aug 18, 2017
Aug 18, 2017 at 9:05 PM UTC
-Happenstance
hap */hap/ noun 1. luck; fortune verb 1. come about by chance* And it hit me, by happenstance, that perhaps, per-chance I'd been wrong. Wrong in believing a happiness was owed to people and would flow to me not by happenstance but by choice. By choice and by choosing the right path. But the path of choice and of choosing the one that is right is a very wrong and anxious path indeed. And indeed I am the anxious type from years of fears that by trusting choice over happenstance I'd choose wrong. But I didn't choose wrong. Nor did I choose right. I chose not to choose at all. I'm also the sad type. And now I worry that by definition of hap and thus of happiness I'm not sad by happenstance but of choice.
0
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 9:32 PM UTC
Hap
The black night’s ebbing tide erased the only remaining hints,   the cresting long ocean swells did not cleanse without a trace. Adrift and lethargically bobbing seaweed entangled teakwood box of water-logged photographs, drowning, surrendered from the heart of the sea Like molted wild feathers cast ashore with the tide to the coarse specks of rasping  sands, Darwin's dream in an emptied  sea-bubble popped, dissipated into its own haplessness, bestrewn about an untrodden seashore   Washed out snapshots of life’s disregarded minutia   enchained to an ordinary forgotten Kodachrome moment left out to the consequences of the ever fickle tides, abandoned happenstance spilled by chance upon another undiscovered world The warped and bloated wooden box encasement, hoary with swollen furrowed woodgrain s,   wearied by an enduring measureless moment adrift; as if an ill-fated message in a misbegotten leaky bottle, corked with marooned good intentions, and images of disappearing dreams flung out shipwrecked in barnacled azure glass beneath a sky so far away someone you used to know
0
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 4, 2017 at 9:37 PM UTC
Water soaked photographs
in a story, ** As in, once upon a time, and all.**
0
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 12:39 AM UTC
I Want Your Past
That Old Drug Checklist? Completed. No Shame. So get over it. (It's rather colloquial, however, revealings as well. This is what I said to a boy from driver's ed who wanted to be my boyfriend... So I tried to scare him off. Hahaha. Rationale a la 15-year-old): Maple: It's not exactly something I talk about, ever, because it just demonstrates my insanity. But, I want to try everything. Every substance, every drug. Justin: Um, why? Maple: Why not? Justin: Well, cause it’s bad. Maple: If you believe in good or bad, right or wrong. I don't know what I believe except that we're all robots of each other and nothing matters anyways. Justin: Hmm, that’s a different way of thinking about it. I think that curiosity isn't bad, just be careful. . . Maple: I don't know if I am, but, meh. Is there really any good reason to do anything? Justin: Umm, no, not really. It’s what you feel, not what others feel. Well. . . just be careful. Maple: Safety is a conspiracy. Justin: Why do you say that? Maple: Think about it. You can insure everything you own, walk on the right side of the road and follow strong Christian morals that give the illusion of safety, as if you’ll go to heaven if you’re good and hell if you’re bad. But, with one fire, one plane crash. . . well it's all gone. The entirety of you. And who even knows if there is that insured heaven anyways? Justin: Hmm, you know I think that the way you think is very interesting and mostly true, I mean, nothing is ever completely safe. You can't always be careful, but I also think that you should use this and try to live life to its fullest. Maple: Thank you. But what is living life to it's fullest? Everyone always says that, but what does it mean? Justin: Well, like you, I know that what you’re doing is unhealthy, but your not afraid to try different things. You experience more then anyone else, cause most people play it safe in their comfort zone. Maple: Exactly! Always judging but never trying. Society has made these things into taboos, but are they really? I know that getting addicted is a terrible idea, but everything in moderation. Why always sit on the sidelines making assumptions behind whispered hands and backs? Why not jump into the game? Justin: Yep, that’s right. You can't sit there say that’s bad or you should do this if you haven't done it yourself. Because if you haven't, you don't know what it’s like and you’re being hypocritical. . . . Maple: Um. . . Says the boy who just told me not to do drugs “cause it’s bad.”
0
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 9:48 PM UTC
**** and ****** Super Are Lame and I'm Happy I Know It
That Old Drug Checklist? Completed. No Shame. So get over it. (It's rather colloquial, however, revealings as well. This is what I said to a boy from driver's ed who wanted to be my boyfriend... So I tried to scare him off. Hahaha. Rationale a la 15-year-old): Maple: It's not exactly something I talk about, ever, because it just demonstrates my insanity. But, I want to try everything. Every substance, every drug. Justin: Um, why? Maple: Why not? Justin: Well, cause it’s bad. Maple: If you believe in good or bad, right or wrong. I don't know what I believe except that we're all robots of each other and nothing matters anyways. Justin: Hmm, that’s a different way of thinking about it. I think that curiosity isn't bad, just be careful. . . Maple: I don't know if I am, but, meh. Is there really any good reason to do anything? Justin: Umm, no, not really. It’s what you feel, not what others feel. Well. . . just be careful. Maple: Safety is a conspiracy. Justin: Why do you say that? Maple: Think about it. You can insure everything you own, walk on the right side of the road and follow strong Christian morals that give the illusion of safety, as if you’ll go to heaven if you’re good and hell if you’re bad. But, with one fire, one plane crash. . . well it's all gone. The entirety of you. And who even knows if there is that insured heaven anyways? Justin: Hmm, you know I think that the way you think is very interesting and mostly true, I mean, nothing is ever completely safe. You can't always be careful, but I also think that you should use this and try to live life to its fullest. Maple: Thank you. But what is living life to it's fullest? Everyone always says that, but what does it mean? Justin: Well, like you, I know that what you’re doing is unhealthy, but your not afraid to try different things. You experience more then anyone else, cause most people play it safe in their comfort zone. Maple: Exactly! Always judging but never trying. Society has made these things into taboos, but are they really? I know that getting addicted is a terrible idea, but everything in moderation. Why always sit on the sidelines making assumptions behind whispered hands and backs? Why not jump into the game? Justin: Yep, that’s right. You can't sit there say that’s bad or you should do this if you haven't done it yourself. Because if you haven't, you don't know what it’s like and you’re being hypocritical. . . . Maple: Um. . . Says the boy who just told me not to do drugs “cause it’s bad.”
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20
• The crux of tomorrow Remains at stake Through languid eyes And double takes. •
0
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 6:14 AM UTC
Happenstance Dance
I sat up in bed, wide awake. Mere seconds separated my dreams from reality. Yet, consciousness had seized me more effectively than ice water. I had been caged within sleep, until something ridiculous happened.   Something ridiculous, and something real. I sprang from the covers, pulled on a sweater, and burst out the door. All around me was silent. Life, it seemed, was not yet awake. I took a deep breath, and began running. I ran so fast my surroundings blurred into a pallet of color; the sound, still muted. My feet flew across the dewy grass. I imagined myself into smaller, simpler spaces; tucked in with the ghosts. How fast could I run from my dreams? How fast could I run towards reality? If the grass had soaked my socks, I barely knew. If the wind had serenaded my skin, I remained disembodied. The alexithymia of consciousness. My thoughts snaked and swerved and collided in my head, but in that stretch of oblivion, a lone inference guided me. Nothing mattered in the world but one thought. Wake up, Maple. Wake up. The House of Addictions was the epithet I chose. It nestled several blocks from mine, and was the type of estate that demanded normalcy. Upon reaching the front hedge, I examined the house; two blue paneled stories. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but this wasn’t it. I coaxed the front door. Locked. I circled around to the backyard. The room I sought was on the second level. I ascended the balcony onto the porch; the room’s window stood several feet from where I could stand. There was a vacant flowerbox sitting on a ledge outside the window. Without question, I clambered onto the deck’s railing and extended my leg into the flower box. It was a long way to fall, but I wasn’t scared. I had no choice. I clung with all my might to the window’s ledge, shifted my weight to the flowerbox leg, and plopped over the other. A scream frozen in my throat. Breathing heavily, a death grip on my perch, I crouched; the box seemed sturdy enough. I peered through the window. At this ungodly hour, he was most likely still asleep. Unless. The bed was vacated. Did this mean? I closed my eyes, took a breath. Wake up. Things like this did not happen – plain and simple. A minute later, after clambering off the flowerbox and scampering back down the stairs, I rejoined the street, sprinting along with renewed vigor. The sun glistened on the grass, the morning, ripening. Yet, I heard not the sound of birds chattering on secluded sycamores, nor my feet pattering along the sidewalk. I was immaterial. I was the wind – gliding fluidly towards that which waited. My body was to be found at a stoplight, punching the button spastically. But my mind had already arrived, several streets away. The stoplight changed. I ran. Stores whizzed by, early morning traffic sheathed the street. I had to slow my thoughts, I had to separate from the stark possibilities that incased me. I’d dreamed of his death; simple, like the twelve forget-me-nots he threw across my floor five years ago. The last expression I saw as he departed still had yet to leave his face. Although he moved home a year ago, he never really returned. Wake up. I veered my course to the left, dodging through traffic, and found the street. It was there that my mind had arrived. This avenue was vacated and tranquil, an eclipse of the earlier. And there was that house; green and silent as ever. Clutching a stitch in my stomach, I dove over the waist high fence and tripped on my own foot. I fell, scraping my elbows on concrete and swearing beneath my breath, but I couldn’t stop. I scrambled to my feet and staggered towards a ground levelled window. Exhausted, I tripped again. Then several strangled events laced together. First, I tumbled to that window. I held my hands out, expecting to hit glass, but realized too late that it was open. Before that fully registered, I was toppling – headfirst – through the open window. My insides plummeted, muting my scream. I hit the bed with a sharp thump, before it tossed me to the floor. There, I landed, **** first, mute and sprawling. While my body congealed, my heart auditioned as drummer, and stars teased my peripheral. The room materialized as I blinked through confusion. Softy, I sat myself upright. His eyes were the first thing I saw. Reality zapped me so hard I almost fell back again; he was alive, I’d woken up. Then my senses caught up; my elbows cried, my head throbbed, and my breath rekindled in ragged crackles. As if a switch was flicked, I suddenly identified sound; the humming of cars outside, the crisp ticking of a clock, the gurgling of his fish tank. So loud – so distinct. Color sharpened and brightened. My mind in overdrive. He was here. He sat on his bed, alive and well, speechless with alarm. Oliver was shirtless, lidded only by flannel pants and black gloves. He considered me with bleeding elbows, disheveled hair, and desperate eyes. Then, the shock on his face gave way for a giant grin. “Come here often?” He inquired. His voice, raspy with morning. Still panting and shaking, I conjured a smile to match Oliver's. “You’d think so. . .” I choked. “And I’d be right, Maple.” He finished. I managed a laugh. Nothing had changed.
0
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 12:35 AM UTC
Epithets and Origins
I sat up in bed, wide awake. Mere seconds separated my dreams from reality. Yet, consciousness had seized me more effectively than ice water. I had been caged within sleep, until something ridiculous happened.   Something ridiculous, and something real. I sprang from the covers, pulled on a sweater, and burst out the door. All around me was silent. Life, it seemed, was not yet awake. I took a deep breath, and began running. I ran so fast my surroundings blurred into a pallet of color; the sound, still muted. My feet flew across the dewy grass. I imagined myself into smaller, simpler spaces; tucked in with the ghosts. How fast could I run from my dreams? How fast could I run towards reality? If the grass had soaked my socks, I barely knew. If the wind had serenaded my skin, I remained disembodied. The alexithymia of consciousness. My thoughts snaked and swerved and collided in my head, but in that stretch of oblivion, a lone inference guided me. Nothing mattered in the world but one thought. Wake up, Maple. Wake up. The House of Addictions was the epithet I chose. It nestled several blocks from mine, and was the type of estate that demanded normalcy. Upon reaching the front hedge, I examined the house; two blue paneled stories. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but this wasn’t it. I coaxed the front door. Locked. I circled around to the backyard. The room I sought was on the second level. I ascended the balcony onto the porch; the room’s window stood several feet from where I could stand. There was a vacant flowerbox sitting on a ledge outside the window. Without question, I clambered onto the deck’s railing and extended my leg into the flower box. It was a long way to fall, but I wasn’t scared. I had no choice. I clung with all my might to the window’s ledge, shifted my weight to the flowerbox leg, and plopped over the other. A scream frozen in my throat. Breathing heavily, a death grip on my perch, I crouched; the box seemed sturdy enough. I peered through the window. At this ungodly hour, he was most likely still asleep. Unless. The bed was vacated. Did this mean? I closed my eyes, took a breath. Wake up. Things like this did not happen – plain and simple. A minute later, after clambering off the flowerbox and scampering back down the stairs, I rejoined the street, sprinting along with renewed vigor. The sun glistened on the grass, the morning, ripening. Yet, I heard not the sound of birds chattering on secluded sycamores, nor my feet pattering along the sidewalk. I was immaterial. I was the wind – gliding fluidly towards that which waited. My body was to be found at a stoplight, punching the button spastically. But my mind had already arrived, several streets away. The stoplight changed. I ran. Stores whizzed by, early morning traffic sheathed the street. I had to slow my thoughts, I had to separate from the stark possibilities that incased me. I’d dreamed of his death; simple, like the twelve forget-me-nots he threw across my floor five years ago. The last expression I saw as he departed still had yet to leave his face. Although he moved home a year ago, he never really returned. Wake up. I veered my course to the left, dodging through traffic, and found the street. It was there that my mind had arrived. This avenue was vacated and tranquil, an eclipse of the earlier. And there was that house; green and silent as ever. Clutching a stitch in my stomach, I dove over the waist high fence and tripped on my own foot. I fell, scraping my elbows on concrete and swearing beneath my breath, but I couldn’t stop. I scrambled to my feet and staggered towards a ground levelled window. Exhausted, I tripped again. Then several strangled events laced together. First, I tumbled to that window. I held my hands out, expecting to hit glass, but realized too late that it was open. Before that fully registered, I was toppling – headfirst – through the open window. My insides plummeted, muting my scream. I hit the bed with a sharp thump, before it tossed me to the floor. There, I landed, **** first, mute and sprawling. While my body congealed, my heart auditioned as drummer, and stars teased my peripheral. The room materialized as I blinked through confusion. Softy, I sat myself upright. His eyes were the first thing I saw. Reality zapped me so hard I almost fell back again; he was alive, I’d woken up. Then my senses caught up; my elbows cried, my head throbbed, and my breath rekindled in ragged crackles. As if a switch was flicked, I suddenly identified sound; the humming of cars outside, the crisp ticking of a clock, the gurgling of his fish tank. So loud – so distinct. Color sharpened and brightened. My mind in overdrive. He was here. He sat on his bed, alive and well, speechless with alarm. Oliver was shirtless, lidded only by flannel pants and black gloves. He considered me with bleeding elbows, disheveled hair, and desperate eyes. Then, the shock on his face gave way for a giant grin. “Come here often?” He inquired. His voice, raspy with morning. Still panting and shaking, I conjured a smile to match Oliver's. “You’d think so. . .” I choked. “And I’d be right, Maple.” He finished. I managed a laugh. Nothing had changed.
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53
**. . . just, never yours.**
0
Feb 20, 2016
Feb 20, 2016 at 4:28 AM UTC
I've Been Many Things