#grudge
rust has started creasing itself
over my steel,
my legs stay splayed,
frostbitten onto the sleet. the loch melted last easter, i lay tongue-tied beneath.
apollo is dragging himself toward dusk; and i, deafeningly aphasic, awake
as a phare of myself,
lie bound into rust,
inscrutable and incomplete.
Apr 4
Apr 4, 2026 at 2:21 AM UTC
It’s 2 in the morning
and I wonder if innocence ever finds its way back.
Please, let me keep what’s left of it.
I don’t want to lose hope with it.
I was too little to understand then,
and now
I’m older, so can I have it back?
I will reach for it anyway,
even knowing it may never return.
Is it wrong to miss
the softness I once carried?
The world, the words, the wounds
they took pieces of it from me.
But somewhere deep inside,
I like to believe
I have it in me maybe it's in pieces,
But a small, quiet part still lives.
And maybe that is enough
to keep holding on
Maybe innocence doesn't return, it just waits quietly for us to be gentle with it again.
Feb 4
Feb 4, 2026 at 3:30 PM UTC
I was discovering jazz
In my bedroom, I finally understood it
Finally put the pieces together
The twisted mosaic of emotions and confusions, which certainly confiscated my summer plans, had completed itself
You called me later that morning
I remember my windows were open
Birds chirping
Light shinning rays into my sheets
Your voice was familiar
I found comfort and disgust in that voice
You rambled about your extensive experience with the Florida Everglades- exceeding my expectations about your exposure to the outside world
You never called the ocean from your coastline
You talk like nothing happened
I expected that much
What seemed like a catch up was really a disguise
You had plotted a particularly pensive plan on your peaceful journey and needed a guiltless getaway from it
Your petulance drove yourself insane
I grew used to it, even when I shouldn’t have
When it happened the world turned- tuned to a different tempo
The very matter of my vendetta vanished from my stomach
I remember the hallways
Your haunting hollow heart beating and aching loudly throughout them
You’re were so obsessed and now you’re just obnoxious about opposing expressive opinions
It’s not my fault your plan was to hurt me
You did it perfectly
Performing the perfect portrait of a professional prune
Calling anyone who’d listen up to your tall tower
Riding their high horses they called us thick thieves and slender brained
I knew what we were
And I knew what you and I were
You disappeared
I stepped outside when you stopped my party
You gave me a letter which reminded me of the last one you wrote to me
You wrote with pure hatred and a knowledge of lies and curated scenes from a movie never made nor shown
I read that letter against my better judgment, ripped it up, and threw it into the trash can by the river
I couldn’t throw it away in my house
Or at my school
Or anywhere I visit regularly
This time, when presented with a letter of better intention, I threw it away
Sealed, it sat at the bottom of my garbage can, outside, in the cold
I liked it that way
I knew what was in it anyway
You flirted with my old fling- my old flame and my even older fire
You showed him around me
“How can she do that?” We questioned
You two didn’t last long
After you graduated the both of you imploded
He said you had too much petulance
I bet that voice was familiar
You found comfort and disgust in that voice
While at open house I wrote on a computer
The same computer that remembered your initials from a week ago
Congratulations! You finally caught up to me!
Only by coincidence could you ever come close to competing with me
Still, my stinger bled
Uncomfortable with your proximity
I guess you should experience something new for once
The ocean never calls from the coastline
My friend showed me your new life
I didn’t need that
I just stopped talking about you and now someone brings you up
I used to believe I’d never stop
That you’d always linger in every conversation
But silently one day, you disappeared
For good.
A short reminder set this in motion
I needed you, you needed me
We don’t need that anymore
I’d like to say I wish you the best but deep down I know the definition of a lie
I don’t think about you
Especially not the person you used to be
The person I loved
But when I do
I can’t help but think about when I’m not going to remember
But I remember
I remember discovering jazz
Dec 27, 2025
Dec 27, 2025 at 4:05 AM UTC
What a night tonight…
It’s quiet, quiet!
No sounds, no crunches, no breeze,
It’s not like last day.
Now it would be the time
To talk about love with you.
But the Night is wild
Let’s not stress her out anyway.
What a night tonight…
It’s dark, dark!
There’re no grudge, no grief, no sorrow.
It’s all gone.
Let’s sit in silence with you
Meet the dawn,
And both dissolve,
When it gets light whole.
There’ll be the dawn, and we’ll realize,
There’s no need to lie.
Cause there’s no love, only a plume
Of empty hopes.
And we won’t have to break and tear.
It’s all empty.
There’s no you and me, no us.
It’s just a mope.
Jun 17, 2025
Jun 17, 2025 at 4:22 PM UTC
if you cut me first
I surely will cut you back
for life on earth is ruled by
the law of action and reaction
Feb 11, 2021
Feb 11, 2021 at 3:19 PM UTC
Lately, it has been difficult to share our time together. At times, it even feels as if the universe is holding a grudge against us. Either you are asleep and I am awake, the daytime calls for us to be in a different place, or it is just not that calendar day. Whatever the case may be, the day will come. We will have our solar eclipse, and the World will discover the beauty of our love.
Jan 28, 2021
Jan 28, 2021 at 5:41 AM UTC
uno, dos, tres
am I just stressed?
I used to believe everything we all have is equal
the moment you put a greater sign to everything,
I defended it's normal.
I told the rest they were blinded by anger, am I no different when I side with a closed eye and felt triggered.
To the rest let us not be stressed, for He who plans the rest.
Oct 20, 2020
Oct 20, 2020 at 11:44 AM UTC
a thought a dream, a piece of
..... fiction, no a compilation , a
,,,,, vision, a grudge of contradiction
'''''' no, no ! a craze of nightmare
;;;;; an old ones revelation
a burn so deep we do not care
,,,,, or know the depth of mind
---- called forth, our lives are
//// but a course of inner sight
??? forbidden
Jun 22, 2020
Jun 22, 2020 at 3:28 PM UTC
Let Us Not Wait
Minutes tick, moments slip
And the days pass by.
Let us not wait. Let us not say
"Why should firstly I?"
You, do not hold the grudges,
Always let them go.
There are good people around.
Yet, you never know.
Life is too short to have room for Reticence and anger.
Speak with the loved ones now,
For they'd be no longer.
Lest you lose them for good
To them, you, walk.
God forbid you regret later and
Say, "I wish I could talk."
S. Bharat
Feb 27, 2020
Feb 27, 2020 at 6:16 AM UTC
I can never be timid
Start to the finish
Even through the blemishes, my heart is replenished
Violent images was somethin' in store
It's kinda heavy, holding steady
I'm ready for war
The confetti, a party time
I'm sorry, I apologized
It's obvious you ignored the truth
Just to acknowledge lies
And honestly this is a promise not a threat
So you better watch your comments
While your conscience is left
Forget the politics, the dollars in your wallet
Just know I'm coming home for everyone I have a problem with
Don't look astonished cause you knew that it was coming
You lookin' at me dumb
I suggest you start running
You can increase your pace
But I'm just chasin' you down
Losing patience, you blatantly choose breakin' the vows
Tomorrow isn't promised, and that's even if you live today
Watch what you say or someone's gonna need a grave
Look, I really can't pretend this time, I'm sorry Lord
But this time revenge is mine
So be afraid, because this is the big payback
For your charades, and every game you played
I can't believe you took my kindness for weakness
I've been gone for years but fear has got you speechless
So rest in peace, you're about to receive a secret
Your family is looking for authorities to speak with
You need luck cause right now life's lease is up
So keep it up, I'll be behind you creepin' up
The disconnect between us comes from disrespect
You better listen or your family will be missing next
Oh Lord here I come, I'm just holding on
A bullet is on its way
Tell the world I'm coming home
Someone's gonna need a grave
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 6:49 AM UTC
The heavens were mad,
So the clouds thickened and rained,
Tearing on the earth.
Jan 9, 2020
Jan 9, 2020 at 7:00 AM UTC
A man has cancer and he has been given only six months to live.
Years ago, he did a man wrong and the parents and siblings are refusing to forgive.
He became angry because he lost at checkers and he evicted that poor man.
Even though he wants them to forgive, he said if they can't, he'll understand.
He evicted the man that day in January and the poor man froze to death.
When he decided to throw him out, it caused that man to draw his last breath.
The landlord felt remorse when he learned that the man died.
The guilt devoured him and he thought about committing suicide.
He screamed "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"
He went to his closet and got his gun.
He put the gun barrel in his mouth but didn't have the guts to pull the trigger.
Those people will carry their grudge to their graves because they're so bitter.
Those people refuse to forgive, they won't even try.
I just hope they can forgive themselves when he dies.
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019 at 12:15 PM UTC
The words I say might trigger
Heavy, lead-coated feelings
Taste of bitter copper
Straining of the soul
Nothing will be good
When I utter honesty
And dust is swept off of skeletons
Hidden by- guess who?
Quiet could blanket
But what’s the fun in leaving things be?
What’s the point without my finger
Extended in your direction
Be careful with your next choices
In my mind circles the knowledge
Of your ***** little secrets
Wrapped up in craft-grade twine
Oct 27, 2019
Oct 27, 2019 at 5:09 PM UTC
When I see you,
I see grief.
When we hear you,
We hear pain.
When you're around,
Her tears won't leave;
When you're around,
We wish you leave.
When you tell me stories,
I remember my sorrow;
When you tell us stories,
We remember your strikes.
When you tell me you love me,
I feel unsafe;
When you tell us you love us,
We feel your wrath.
You said you wish us success,
But you always brought us down.
You said you'll do anything for us,
But only done everything for yourself.
When you said you'll always be here,
You would always leave us behind.
You've caused us harm
You've caused us pain
You've bought us down
And still refuse to see.
In your hands we suffered
A curse we'll always carry.
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 12:10 PM UTC
Some superiors know how to hold a grudge,
That only death could pry them away from it;
Some colleague are inexperience in every aspect
Of their work, but well verse in treachery and groveling;
Some customers know how to transfer their aggression
And run out of patience at the sight of frown;
So we overwork nonentity most remove our crown
And put a barrier against these office hurricane for protection;
We most tell ourselves little-lies everyday that we're strong,
For this little make belief is our safety at work;
Like we hope for heaven we hope today won't
be as bad as tomorrow and our joy to be long
Jul 28, 2019
Jul 28, 2019 at 8:13 AM UTC
I have a rock
With my name on it
And one for my father
And one for my brother
And one for each of the boys
Who broke me
They are grudges I carry with me
Heavy in my pockets
One step away
From the cement blocks
Tied to my feet
Someday I will throw these grudges
As far as my body will allow
In hopes that they land in water
Less shallow
Than the names on the rocks
May 28, 2019
May 28, 2019 at 4:55 AM UTC
constricted by an ophidian
i slither away, just to live
is this where new life begins?
is this where i shed my skin?
bitten by fangs of chagrin
where to win is to never forgive
hiss with this abyss within
i'm living in a pit of sin
with my vision wearing thin
venom is a gift to give
i slip beneath the rocks again
this is where i shed my skin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ei0ubfaLek
Feb 22, 2019
Feb 22, 2019 at 11:27 AM UTC
I wonder if you'll read my poetry one day, and reminisce upon all the good times we could have had. I know...it's pointless to hold a grudge. Life would be simpler if I just moved on without anger. However, I do confess, I want to know one last thing--did you ever understand what I meant?
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 4:45 PM UTC
Great Anger,
Filled with danger,
As deadly as a Dagger,
A fearsome killer...
Don't let them snap...
You'll fall to a deadly trap!
It can't be solved by a simple tap,
Always watch your back!
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018 at 8:20 AM UTC
My skull is breaking...
Must Control, don't loose
My sanity, I can't loose
My skull is breaking...
I'm ill...
My eyes are darkening
My reasoning is fading
I'm ill...
My hands are itchy...
I can feel it, bloodlust
I want to **** absolute lust
My hands are itchy...
If I **** forgive me...
It wasn't my doing
It was her, I'm vanishing
If I **** forgive me...
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 1:33 AM UTC
I'm at my limit
Struggling to keep it
I can't speak loud
Somebody, help me out.
Help me, please?
I just want peace...
I can't afford to loose,
Please, do not abuse.
I hear it whisper...
Luring me to unleash her
Her words are so sweet,
But I must stay on my feet.
Don't force her out!!
Or, I'll black out...
It will be messy...
I'm afraid, help me.
Nov 27, 2018
Nov 27, 2018 at 9:06 AM UTC
I am a child, but never a kid.
Under the shadows, always been hid.
I wish to live as a kid...
But they've always forbid.
Wounds and scars
A life behind bars
Tears and plea are for weak,
Mouth always been stiched.
Hands, feet, and neck are chained,
To the Honors, expectations I've gained.
With all the light that shined,
They've gone completely blind.
They need me to be the best...
But never hope me the best...
Always asking for answers,
But always left unheard.
Why can't I be free? Like them...
Why am I forbid to feel as much joy?Similar to them...
I was never rebellious...
But never treated...as precious.
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018 at 7:21 AM UTC