#glum
It's all a little weird,
The way things fall into place.
How life seems to catch us,
When the time is just right.
Life found me when I was glum,
It told me to write.
Mar 12, 2025
Mar 12, 2025 at 9:41 AM UTC
There really wasn't much to the day
A bit of sun
A bit of grey
Leaving me with room to think
A sip to numb
A heart to sink
May 21, 2022
May 21, 2022 at 11:44 AM UTC
January will not be missed
but stubbornly,
mist it is
Jan 15, 2022
Jan 15, 2022 at 4:15 AM UTC
<>
***"having found a white coal seam amidst the black bunting
that decorates their glum apprehension of tomorrow's tidings"^***
the computer tablet recognizes as I essay,
the "tomorrow" word
as possessing a reality, with time sensitivity,
please, somebody help us, almost
an inevitability
the possibility of a realizable event,
as if the poem composing was
the future's assuming a 99% probability, right ready for scheduling
offering me two choices:
create event or view calendar?
as if the next shooting, bombing,
and my glum apprehension thereof,
as if ''tomorrow's" tidings were mine own doing
of my undoing,
somehow my fears create or anticipation of
the "next one" makes me a guilty part
my heart cracking with despairing moans
knowing that this is foolishness
but
not to me
for as we think upon it, that tiny extra precaution,
'tis already the small death of me
each death a cut in the same spot,
and the pestering wound ground deeper, bone closer
find myself
jailed in a place with no view, insecure and unprotected
no view, no window to crack, no window no view
no to letting in fresh air, hope or something good,
and yes to no,
I know about this and that and words
intended to offer up optimism,
albeit on a small scale
I am careful not to mock
the words and those who offer up
but seriously,
don't
I came to,
I came to this place to write
only love poetry silly love songs
and some black angel sideswiped me in the left lane
writing now in stead of ways I'm dented and unforgiving
feeling stoopidly foolish even as
I try and I try to find the seed germane to the connectivity between the horror hallmarks of these times and the ******* window is just stuck stuck stuck
I'll think I'll change my name,
honestly,
only love poetry? cries out ridiculous
this is no poem, more a teacher's note of surrender,
come back with a new identity or just a new field of endeavor
so I put that on my calendar for tomorrow
and it appears right away, right after:
6:00 am Check on Glum Apprehensions
and it appears that I'm too late
confirming I've missed my appointment so too late for my kind of tomfoolery. and that white seam, glimpsed but not grasped, illusion noxious,, I can't seem to locate it anymore
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 5:20 PM UTC
Heart:
I have a book of songs,
a collection of antique emotions,
carefully crafted for someone
Like how seedlings germinate
inside the womb of the good green Earth
feeling the warmth of a watchful Sun
Yet I pick up another,
a chronicle sans embellishments,
A tale every bit pure, every bit unspun
A familiar fear grips me -
clouds me, maims me, ****** me
as I open it with glum expectations
But I feel myself break,
to know of my absence from this tome,
with each page I anxiously turn
Did I not deserve
a chapter, a line, atleast a word?
Maybe I will find a footnote - none!
Mind:
Oh my dear heart,
Do not expect in return something better
because you've surrendered to her memories
Equivalence is just, but justice is not a quality
How do you plan to **** the one
whom you've already granted immortality?
May 29, 2019
May 29, 2019 at 4:21 PM UTC
I believe in utilitarianism
And stay living in a state of disguising glum for glee
I see it as my way of giving back
Because as long as they're happy
I can keep up the show
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 6:12 PM UTC
how does one write
M-E-L-A-N-C-H-O-L-Y
without stopping to wash their hands?
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 12:20 AM UTC
always crude to everyone
even a discomfort to herself
certain times is willing to help out
but cannot even fix herself
admits that everything is well
to not be a disturbance
certain times is willing to open up
but still feel glum
it doesn't feel right and normal
to prefer to be disregarded
mostly wishing to end everything
but stays for the people she love
it is ultimately true and real
that she ruins what she touches
mostly wishing to find a remedy
but strangely fine with her state
{k. l.}
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 8, 2017 at 10:32 PM UTC
Translucent and cold,
My body doesn't even shiver,
Lips faded to a dull grey,
This isn't old age.
Inside is empty,
As lonely as my shell.
Earth is my personal hell.
They push on my chest,
To rescusitate me.
The blood pumps and for a while,
I'm alive again.
My previous corpse blown away.
But it doesn't take long,
I soon become fragile,
And my insides shatter like glass.
A 100 cuts just in my mind.
Walking down the street you wouldn't tell.
For I delicately place my mask on every day.
To hide my pain and Shame.
Jul 22, 2016
Jul 22, 2016 at 1:41 PM UTC
I've got that feeling once again,
After staying up til 3 A.M,
When insecurities start to creep,
And I curse myself for lack of sleep.
It seems I have no way of knowing,
Which way my thought process is going,
One day I'm happy, the next I'm glum,
And console myself with smoke and ***
I try to find a compromise-
Get blasted drunk, and close my eyes,
But the world keeps spinning round and round,
Bottle's empty- no peace found.
Like the Irish airman in the sky,
I seem to watch as other lives flash by,
Then I pass out, hoping I'll never know,
The places those tormented souls must go.
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 4, 2016 at 10:27 PM UTC
Never have I seen your purest smile
Nor see it shine
I don't know if it's just me
But I know I can see
Those eyes didn't glisten
Your lips have never widen
You always say that you're happy
But please stop pretending
Don't think of me so lowly
I can sense that you're lonely
It hurts to see you like this
But what else can I do?
You never wanted me to
Be that one who catches you
Up till now
I don't know how
I want you to show
The place i'd mend
To let you know that it's not the end
Just show me your broken pieces
I shall heal them with my kisses
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 2:24 AM UTC
My gums are bleeding;
I've brushed too hard.
Because my words,
Were much too harsh.
And it seems to me
That I'm trying to scrub them away.
And I'm praying that they will not
Stay.
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 7:19 PM UTC
You taught me how to float
When I was sinking.
So why was it
That you allowed yourself to
Drown?
Jul 19, 2014
Jul 19, 2014 at 2:47 AM UTC
I swallowed the sun,
Because I wanted to be light.
But I followed the moon,
Because I missed the balance.
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 10:59 PM UTC
My life is so bland
My heart is so bitter
My mind is full of lies
And my lungs feel as if they are collapsing.
Everyday is the same
It's like I'm not even a living creature
I feel like a robot
That is programmed to do the same thing
Every single day.
Anger laps at my heart
Like a raging flame
I clench my fists
My knuckles turn milky white
I hate myself so f-cking much.
Everyday I tell myself that I am okay;
I am all right
I am alive
I tell myself I am beautiful,
And even though my body is small
(and very skinny)
It is unique and perfect.
But I know deep down
I am nowhere near perfection;
Nowhere near beauty
And I know that I am not okay
I'm not all right
I am breathing
But I am d e a d.
My lungs yearn for the cool spring air
I long to go outside
While blissfully inhaling
The smell before the spring shower
But I can't
I am stuck in winter,
I am frozen solid.
I am a burned out light bulb
I am the worthless blade of dead grass
I am the hazardous oil that spills into the sea
I am the gloomy rain clouds
I am the raging storm.
Basically
I am worthless
And everday
The same question floats into my mind
"Why am I still breathing?"
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 1:12 AM UTC