My life is so bland
My heart is so bitter
My mind is full of lies
And my lungs feel as if they are collapsing.
Everyday is the same
It's like I'm not even a living creature
I feel like a robot
That is programmed to do the same thing
Every single day.
Anger laps at my heart
Like a raging flame
I clench my fists
My knuckles turn milky white
I hate myself so f-cking much.
Everyday I tell myself that I am okay;
I am all right
I am alive
I tell myself I am beautiful,
And even though my body is small
(and very skinny)
It is unique and perfect.
But I know deep down
I am nowhere near perfection;
Nowhere near beauty
And I know that I am not okay
I'm not all right
I am breathing
But I am d e a d.
My lungs yearn for the cool spring air
I long to go outside
While blissfully inhaling
The smell before the spring shower
But I can't
I am stuck in winter,
I am frozen solid.
I am a burned out light bulb
I am the worthless blade of dead grass
I am the hazardous oil that spills into the sea
I am the gloomy rain clouds
I am the raging storm.
Basically
I am worthless
And everday
The same question floats into my mind
"Why am I still breathing?"
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 1:12 AM UTC