#former
resting on your laurels
time overtakes the unwary
disproves the self-made lie
Apr 8
Apr 8, 2026 at 7:46 AM UTC
She had the eyes
that smiled.
Even in moonlight
they seemed to smile.
Sealed in the memory.
She died her brother said
cancer stole her away.
Closing my eyes
I can see them still
the smiling eyes
shining through the darkness
beacons of light
to shine
in my deepest night.
Jun 29, 2025
Jun 29, 2025 at 4:53 AM UTC
Many aspiring authors come and go,
I know former poets,
Who's only dream was to grow,
People I no longer know.
May 5, 2025
May 5, 2025 at 9:59 AM UTC
Rays of Sun baptismal,/
Glisten upon my /
Sol- Dazed epidermis /
As I /
Waft in throes /
Of Beauteous romance & /
Wax hypnotized by /
The sweet nothings of my/
Desiderata Materialista Transcendentalista. /
Resting in the algid embrace of /
The Hiemal Winds /
Atop my /
Voluptuary Ivory Tower, /
In this cup I, I savor the flavor, /
Of ambrosia stimulanté: /
—Rousing me with each sip, /
Of sweet deific nectar, /
Starbucks Pike Place with White Chocolate Mocha Creamer. /
The former barista in me, /
Waxes & wanes in waves; moreover /
The past is derelict, /
The future is nigh, /
The present is luminous /
As I /
Wonder Upon /
The seasons, the distance, the space, and the time,/
That separates me from mi amour, ~ a moment in time. /
(—Se’ lah)
Feb 20, 2025
Feb 20, 2025 at 10:23 PM UTC
Before hearing about your death
I began a novel inspired by you
and your struggle with the truth--
The truth of who you were,
what you wanted of life and of me.
And it became a journey
into the past, into a life
that had happened before
we met, decades ago,
and after we parted for good,
I wove a new life out of remnants,
of things I knew or just supposed.
And like a good researcher,
I told of your parents' failings,
the darker side of love.
Of your grandmother and friends,
and even your cousin who
brought you to me,
Luring you out of the homogeneous crowd
and into our perfect valley--
"the land of spires and dreams".
I even spoke warmly of our artless love
and our drifting apart like ghost ships.
After our second parting,
when you left the mortal coil,
I tried not to reminisce about us,
for the story was yours, not mine,
But I fear that a mirror kept
cropping up behind me and
around corners, erasing mystery.
Narcissus caught me time and again.
Even so, I created times for you
that I had never seen or heard.
I have you swimming off La Jolla,
traipsing on mountain paths
in the wilds of British Columbia,
or arguing with your wife
in that mansion you dreamed of.
I invented a girl you would like
and two kids who loved you
in spite of everything.
Your memories of me became
less urgent, locked in a chess box,
in songs or on film, hidden away.
I analyzed your youth, your vanity,
lust, boredom, mistakes and age.
And when it came time for you
to make a decision: to stay or go
again, either west or east,
I stopped and looked over your life,
rolled out flat, like the American plain
from western crags to eastern city
and like a broken record,
the choice shuttled back and forth,
not letting me decide for you.
Glancing at a photo
of your childhood home,
I realized at last,
not that you had died too soon,
but that I really never knew you.
Apr 10, 2022
Apr 10, 2022 at 6:00 PM UTC
It's been so long we're together
And now it feels like we're stranger
Those happy faces you guys saw me
Those warm hugs you guys gave me
And those three words you guys told me
Until such time I knew was not meant for me.
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 8:09 AM UTC
At times like these step back
Ease into it with mind relaxed
We can only persist
Try to see your former self
Contest the things we could have done
Externalise internal thoughts
To talk alone
Old or young
Discuss the paths which were pursued
You and me are one and yet we've had so much fun
Today's the day as yesterday
Is gone
Mar 23, 2020
Mar 23, 2020 at 3:29 PM UTC
At the dawn of my half century
I sometimes squint to see who's moving
whose heads pop up above the wheat and weeds
whose flower is still blooming,
and it is there I find you
standing taller than them all
drinking in the sunlight
no man has made you fall
and no man has ever owned you
though all of them endeavored
including me, my younger self
and I lost you forever
Do not hang me for my folly
for I was younger then
and loving you naively
shouldn't be a capital offence
I am worthy of you now
but will you ever come
or will you sit there swaying
never needing anyone,
drinking in the sun
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 5:40 PM UTC
She hates the way I talk,
She hates the way I walk,
She's acting like she's too good for me,
But I know the truth,
She says I broke her heart,
But I just figured out what kind of person she was,
She holds a grudge like it's all she has,
Made her pride her first choice,
All I have in my hand is a deck of card,
A knave for her queen of spades,
I will give and she will take,
It'll be a circle,
I'll be in pain,
She will never know what she is,
So I'll let her believe,
I did her wrong,
Until she realise what she had damaged,
Ignorance will be her punishment.
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019 at 1:17 AM UTC
I used to tell myself that I was never a pretty girl
I allowed someone's opinion clout my world
I doubted everything I could do
I allowed someone's thought influence me too
Only now:
I am confident wearing my flaws
From head to toe, I know I have it all
I know I'm not perfect but, I indeed have great skills
To all those before, you no longer have the power of my wills
Mar 29, 2019
Mar 29, 2019 at 10:02 PM UTC
The slowest pain
In the back to explain
Is when someone you've known
All along from the start
Pulls out the knife
Slowly inching by inch
Almost surgically
Barely missing your original heart
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 11:59 PM UTC
Oh Glenda (Miz Gee gee)
years elapsed since, I didst hawk
verboten fruit adrip
from yar verdant bough,
thy strong craven raven
doth still twitter and flip
sans thy testosterone switch,
where woody pecker missus grip
ping re: egret ting prospective
relationship nixed thee
as gull friend material, hip
mistress, though heron eye did pay lip
service verily orgasmically quip
yes...wren doer ring
more'n commit Freudian slip
which peeping cardinal tip
towing thru nested tulip trip
gave balled oriole peck whip
ping lil *** pistol be
friending chirping ***** riot
inserting thingmabob
after pants sigh did un zip.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Egg gad unlike rob bin duck cradle
yar mature red breast all aswirl
asper a stationary dreidel
mammary ducts mine mouth pursed
yar ******* mine gums did ladle.
Only in memory, aye
hungrily thirst and thirstily hunger
fort deux aureole dye
still affecting this gab
bird, who didst deign
as milquetoast guy.
Whenever this birdman alone
his thoughts metaphorically drone
worm wayward toward
***** thatch, where
hello kitty doth purr and groan
of quintessentially
***** coiled hair moan
ning softly as thee
bared naked lady lies prone
admiring pinkish puckered
def flesh tone.
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 2:44 AM UTC
I recalled the smell of junipers warming in the sun,
Or maybe mice nesting under the cupboard.
Or bleached linen hung out by Mum,
Reminds me of something about Dad from long ago,
You ask me…to say if it was gin;
There are things I can’t tell you, Son.
Some people think that it’s a sin;
So just use your imagination.
Another time I smelled crushed daisies of
The housemaids, I remember from Kleßheim.
Thunderstorms rolled down from the Alps at night,
Then turned at morning into clarified, buttered sun.
They remind me of someone’s blonde hair,
I just can’t tell you when or where,
So use your imagination.
Scent is the most potent mnemonic,
Triggering mystical cells inside,
Creating a stream of biophotonics,
Rapture returns in histrionics,
Tracking things from skin and hair,
To lips and eyes, to a groan, an intrigued stare.
Things we can never tell another, even if
He or she or they were there
What happened in those brilliant days?
Only imagination can say.
Crystal hanging in the window at nine o’clock,
Rays strike the glass, opening up the past.
Before me spreads a wide, green lawn,
Ladies and lords stroll with their finery on.
I sit and watch, while the procession advances,
Tricornes doffed and stays undone in dances.
Until the satin, silk and brocades lie on the ground,
Gavotte kisses become tender, sensual rounds
And naked, youth flees into woods.
And everything is happening;
Everything is good.
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 12:39 AM UTC
(I wrote this light hearted communique years ago when thy youngest of deux darling demure offspring found more enjoyment then she would as a soon tubby celebrating nineteen orbitz round mister Sun).
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Just my luck on a freaky Friday, while living in another world unfettered from the parent trap that a life-size machete conveniently available to fend off mean girls racing in their life-size love bug christened “Herbie fully loaded” while cranking up the song “ultimate” somehow found me to get a clue that raven-symone a prairie home companion.
Please pardon this bard of Belmont hills for brazenly barging into your life – without even so much as a gold plated invitation. The nerve of this nattering nabob of Narberth to perform a google search in an effort to pay homage to such smart as a whip wealthy woman, whom maintains lustrous beauty even whence approaching the half century longevity chronological benchmark.
A whim to scribble stream of consciousness thoughts about the mother of one constantly caught in the infamous cross hairs of media blitz krieg must induce chronic ferocity against this plague of tabloid locusts.
Such scrutiny seems to be the price one (and/or her/his kith and/or kin) must unfairly pay to be in the limelight of fame and fortune.
As one absolutely anonymous any man ambling along the boulevard of broken dreams, I envy luxurious lifestyle of the rich and famous as all my children (two teenage daughters) freely scamper away from dark shadows indicating the edge of night as the world turns.
Also, no great expectation (by dickens) goads me (an ordinary mister mom manning the ongoing – nearly infinite – needs and wants of thy fourteen and twelve year old lasses, whom contribute immensely to a more purposely driven life no matter they present untenable wishes.
Back in the day when this papa could afford plethora of fios cable channels, but mainly thru the subtle influence of thine younger offspring (who will celebrate her thirteenth anniversary of existence on this temporal plane or rather oblate spheroid in space), I chanced to watch television programs with Lindsay Lohan as one (if not) the leading actress(es) and found the characters she portrayed quite entertaining to escape the cares and concerns of an uncertain global state of affairs.
These days, aol headline pages incessantly splash with minor infraction(s) that inevitably lands your lovely Lindsay incarcerated for mere misdemeanors no doubt stoking the fires of fervid frenzy within your being.
Only heartfelt commiseration found me to tap out this missive (while a golden opportunity existed to co-opt our only macbook – while the spouse soundly sleeps and thy progeny preoccupied with interpersonal connections) to express said sentiment of compassion and adulation for a most superlative maternal role well done.
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 31, 2018 at 3:06 PM UTC
The soul so crushed that she dared not dare to dream again.
Always saddens me indefinitely.
Not because I wasn’t the avenue to her success, but because she wouldn’t try and be.
More of her former self around me.
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 10:23 AM UTC
Since I discovered this place
Since I took up that old mask again
To hide my boyish face
At least for an hour or two each week
I feel at home
Almost not alone
In a place where I may not belong
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017 at 2:35 PM UTC
*Back when I was in love with things or so I thought
I was far too agreeable to everyone
And I often tasted the bitter sting when someone else forgot who I was
But really what I didn't understand was the impermanence of things
How my opportunities were limited
And how I shouldn't care so much about what other people think
I should've just breathed in and been exactly as I was meant to be
How I should've savored the moments back then
Before the truth of life could find me
And sink my feet into reality*
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 23, 2017 at 11:05 PM UTC
*She tasted like the atmosphere
Deep, dark, and blue as the moon
Distant as the fading star in the northern most hemisphere
And yet each time I tasted her
I was reminded that there was no oxygen to be had in her*
Jan 30, 2017
Jan 30, 2017 at 1:42 AM UTC
*I see your doppelganger here
I’m always most polite to her
Because I know
Because I see
Just who she it
Just who you were*
Jan 26, 2017
Jan 26, 2017 at 1:10 PM UTC
You can have anything you want,
but you can't have everything
A time comes in everyone's life
when you must choose what's worth risking
I've been living day to day,
chasing something I can't even see
A competition I didn't even know I was in
until I realized that I was losing
Now what's at stake and what I have left
is being weighed by Justice's scales.
All I'm left with is the skeleton of who I used to be
and a face that I barely recognize as my own
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 10:30 AM UTC
think for a moment, dear
about all the birthdays
of all the good people on the earth.
now think for a moment,
about all the birthdays of all the bad people on the earth
and notice
the former
is much higher
than the latter
and realize
the earth
is not a good place yet.
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 5:40 AM UTC