Conceiving you felt like death.
Slowly drowning in despair. 
The pressure rising to my head.

Only in my womb for a month, 
Longing for a mother 
That wasn’t actually there

I heard you crying in anguish 
It mocked me continuously, 
You felt contaminating. 

I sank to the bottom, 
Laying there, lungs filled, bursting in pain 
A dark presence swept over me.

There are a million ways to bleed and 
You were gutted out whole 
No sea water but my own tears.

She took you from me. 
Or
Did I take you away from myself?  

Regret and 
Heartache
Paralyzed me