#fittingin
They say 12 is for waking up,
but I woke up disappointed
that I was not taken in my sleep.
After praying to a god I couldn't quite believe in.
13 is for trying to fit in,
but all I remember is starving myself,
trying to fit into a size zero.
Trying to fit my hands around my waist.
14 is for growth,
but all I grew was scars like stripes
All across my body
They spread like weeds,
and consumed me.
15 is for love,
but I fell in love with the wrong thing,
My first love was the smell of my own blood
and the taste of my own tears.
16 is for rebellion,
but I was too tired for that.
I was trapped in my own mind,
and it played *****
There were no rules to break.
17 is for freedom,
but I never got a taste.
They were too worried about my safety,
I was a danger to myself.
Couldn't be left alone.
I was the flight risk.
And 18 was for realizing that
everything went too fast,
and it did.
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 10:20 AM UTC
Let me school you about a girl I know very well
She’s one of the realest
Grew up in the Peach state
She was called a nerd because her nose stayed in a book
She was labeled as white because she talks “proper”
And she listens to other music other than rap
Queen, Def Leppard, and Journey
They called her weird because she stayed to herself
They just couldn’t understand her
Look here,
She’s set to the side
This girl is one puzzle piece who doesn’t fit in
Neither does she try to
She ain’t gotta talk to everyone
Not everybody deserves her time
She reads and writes because her voice needs to be heard
She listens to what she wants to because she can
They cast her out as a missfitt
But she don’t mind
She ain’t got no shame
Her favorite rapper told her the realest people won’t have lots of friends
He told her to keep her head up
That the only one who could judge her was the man up above
He told her it’s her against the world
See, the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice
The more she’s herself
The more she’ll be in touch with her roots
The girl has values and morals
She won’t dare settle just for bragging rights
Being a missfitt makes her unique
Being a missfitt makes her ****
Being herself is freeing
Dark skin, stretch marks, plus knowledge beyond her years
I adore this girl
Being myself the “nerd”
See, this is for the ones who ain’t afraid
To show off their natural physique
The ones with piercings and armbands and glasses and tattoos all over
For the ones who are fearlessly themselves
A missfitt is not a ******
Rather a person who is fearlessly themselves
And nothing or no one else but that
11-26-2018
-Mia J
© 2018 Mia J
May 5, 2025
May 5, 2025 at 4:14 PM UTC
An ugly green bud.
Closed off to the world.
No one can see in,
and it can’t see out.
As the seasons changed, it changed with them.
One by one, petals sprouted.
The dashing canary yellow of the new addition lured them in.
It looked like every other flower didn’t it?
It had a pollen filled center,
and a stem with rigid leaves.
So it was a flower,
and it lived its life as one.
For the feeble-minded, it was perfect.
It was unique in its own ways, sure, but it was just like every other flower,
and that was okay with everyone else.
But as you spend more time in that godforsaken field,
more time plucking it’s petals out
One
By
One,
more time seeing that “flower” for what it truly is,
you’ll see that everything is not as it seems.
You’ll know why the flower never lets anyone get too close,
and never lets anyone stay for long.
It will close back up,
and when it reopens
it will simply be a thought you once had.
As it is blown away in the wind,
you’ll see small traces of its presence left behind,
traces of what it once was.
Of what it could have been.
But you will not thank it,
No.
For it is not truly a flower,
but only a ****
Mar 20, 2025
Mar 20, 2025 at 7:28 PM UTC
A triangle block in a square hole.
I manage to fit but there’s still
Something missing.
The uncanny valley of personhood.
I blend in just enough to
Stand out.
I use it as a weapon and so do they.
Dec 21, 2024
Dec 21, 2024 at 5:42 PM UTC
They should really invent a place where I belong.
Not one with entirely sunshine and rainbows,
God knows I've prayed too little for that,
But one where
I fit.
I don't stand out,
But I'm still my own person
And not that me that I've shown others,
Deceived them for far too long.
My fixation with belonging
It's like a need
That will never once be met.
And I'm left starved and ravenous
For just an ounce of it
And its empty calories
Oct 11, 2024
Oct 11, 2024 at 9:58 PM UTC
Why do we wish that orange sunset won't ever die?
When we barely notice the normal, beautiful blue sky?
I think why we crave for the sunset to prolong
Is because the prettiest colors are the ones that don't belong
Oct 2, 2024
Oct 2, 2024 at 7:48 PM UTC
She’s been trapped in a memory,
Missing out on a remedy,
****** up off Hennessy,
She pretends to be what her friends believe.
Up all night, she dances with the devil,
But when she’s all alone she remembers,
She’s a lost soul – a pretender.
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 9:40 AM UTC
I made them laugh
I made them smile
I found my purpose
For a while
But they kept laughing
When I said nothing to chuckle
Then they stared and they pointed
As my knees began to buckle
"But I was useful"
That's what I thought
But a delusional clown
Fits in with naught.
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 3:19 AM UTC
Yes, you are indeed right.
I’m weird and a bit strange
unconventional, odd, different.
But no,
I do not want to cut myself into pieces to suit
to your approval of what’s normal
and what’s needed.
I do not need to edit myself to fit in.
I do not need to apologize for what
and who I am.
I am strong enough to live my life in my own terms.
I dance to the beat of my own music.
It doesn’t matter if nobody understands me.
I am just being me.
I am real.
I am beautiful.
I am unique.
I am a proud misfit.
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 9:54 PM UTC
I’ve cut myself on the shards of the masks I’ve been putting on
Enough to realize I shouldn't have to bleed to fit where I belong
Apr 20, 2019
Apr 20, 2019 at 1:04 AM UTC
You want to please them.
Fit in their box.
Though your soul is too big
your dreams too wild
your feelings too strong
your sight too vast.
Though your heart is chained
your mind blocked
your senses numbed
your visions faded.
You keep trying.
You want to belong.
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 5:56 PM UTC
I often find myself choosing
The option that pleases people
Even if it doesn't
I rather not have the conflict
Of choosing something different
But because of it
I see myself
Burdened with lines and cages
Boundaries and limitations
Filled with unwanted self expectations
To fit in so I'm not left out
To avoid having to explain myself
Why am I like this
Why do I like this
And then ask myself
Why do I still feel unwanted
I put myself in this box
Even though I didn't have to
Now I will tear this box
And build a fort or castle
Just because I want to
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 3:25 PM UTC
It's become a routine
Letting guys use me
I settle for below my league
Or so my friends tell me
From mental disabilities
To family issues
They still get me on my knees
I don't want to be the lock
I want to be the keys
Choosing which door I fit
Not letting them unlock me
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 12:03 AM UTC
Contrary to most Catholics my mother
believes in reincarnation
I clearly was a fish
bigger in my mind
longing for the ocean but trapped in the
needs of freshwater
But unlike my mind
my soul longs for puddles
I was a fish in a past life and I’m still
trying to get used to the idea that I am
now on land.
--Is this homesickness?
May 31, 2018
May 31, 2018 at 7:12 PM UTC
after all those years
chasing people and hopeless dreams
falling in love with boys
who weren't meant to be
I've convinced myself
things aren't always what they seem
I see six, you see nine
i see black, you see white
I've built walls high above the ground
And I've let them turn it down
and i kept chasing and chasing
hoping they'd finally face me
embrace me and my flaws
but no..
they drew their claws
slashing and gashing.
with gnashing jaws
i shut myself away
away from monsters
who embody my sanity
and I convinced myself
maybe i dont need people.
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 12:50 AM UTC
It’s too much,
The world, the expectations.
It’s all too much.
How can you put this on a teenager
I’m still learning who I am in this world
And you put this on me as well?
Did I do something wrong for this to happen?
What can I do to fix this?
All of these stereotypes are not me,
So why are you trying to make me conform?
Why are you trying to turn me into the norm?
It’s all too much.
You expect me to do a lot of things
My life is only so long
I can only do so much
Don’t force to me to become a perfect human
Don’t force to me to be who I am not
It’s my life
And you’re making it too much to handle.
I need to figure it out on my own
Without any guidelines to hold me back.
I will reach my potential
All you need to do is allow me to succeed.
You may be surprised at what you see
You may actually be proud.
Just give me a chance
And I’ll prove to you that
I can create you’re too much,
Into a just right for me.
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 7:51 AM UTC
Black coat and silver eyes,
what dances within,
you know but keep quiet,
your coat dances on wind.
Paws so silent,
no tracks left behind,
are you a ghost,
why must you hide?
The answer became clear,
upon the twilight,
you raised your head,
pulled back.
Releasing your jaw,
shoulders relaxed,
you let out a cry,
no reply came or followed.
The sound was mournful,
could it be that,
you are alone here,
in this world we call home?
Crackling twigs underfoot,
burrs caught in your coat,
fire and pain in your eyes,
what do you hide?
You want to fit in,
you seek only companionship,
but always you leave,
never have you stayed.
In the dead of night,
once again,
I hear you cry.
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 1:32 PM UTC
Smoke and mirrors
Unforgiving sneers
Steering you through the show
Go where they say to go
Finish the play
Smoke and mirrors
Bow deep down
Smile proud
Costume off
Makeup gone
Smoke and mirrors
Mask replaced
On your bed
Close your eyes
Forget who you really are
Smoke and mirrors
Apr 18, 2016
Apr 18, 2016 at 8:41 AM UTC
Head down
Hair up
Don’t say a word.
Walk past
Quickly now
They might see you.
Duck into class
Sink in your seat
Don’t risk it
They might see you.
Long sleeves
Mostly black
Blend into the crowd
So they won’t see you.
If they do
They’ll judge you
Every move
Every breathe
They’re judging you.
Your name is called
Just walk past
Quicker
Hurry
Before they notice
That you’re
not the same.
Leave behind
Any thoughts of fitting in
Because
this is you
And if you aren’t
Completely silent
They might notice you.
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 8:22 PM UTC
you do not need to fit in their beautiful
because it lies
that one size fits all.
you were not made
so powerfully, so tenderly,
so naturally
to smooth yourself into
a magazine cutout.
remember
you are not a puzzle piece.
the only place you need to fit
is inside that skin of yours.
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 6:41 AM UTC