#firstcrush
The mere sight of you, your presence—
makes my organs function peculiarly,
unhinges me entirely,
to the point I no longer recognize my own body.
This is not me—
so unlike me,
to show this much emotion,
to lose myself before something unfamiliar.
I can't trust this foreign state,
where I feel this vulnerable,
where an uncanny euphoria
erupts— against my will.
I never agreed on this.
If only deleting your existence
were an option—
as if you never were.
May 27
May 27, 2026 at 6:52 AM UTC
Nothing grand, no story told,
Just quiet moments, soft and old.
When you first learned my name,
A hidden joy began to flame.
Not so special, but somehow bright,
You kept me happy for a while, just right.
A gentle smile, a fleeting glance,
A small, sweet spark, a quiet dance.
Though it faded, still I smile,
Remembering you, my first crush’s while.
May 25, 2025
May 25, 2025 at 11:00 AM UTC
I haven't seen you in a while.
But I know it was you from a mile.
Your white skin,
and small eyes.
You flashed a grin,
And my head flies.
It is so unfair
That I want to stare
At your youthful face
Oh, what a menace!
Now I'll be dealing at this rain,
And I'll be thinking about you again.
Nov 24, 2024
Nov 24, 2024 at 1:05 AM UTC
I’m not as sweet as the candy you once loved
I’m not as lovely as that flower on the gardener’s glove
I’m not as interesting as the changing color of autumn leaves
And I might not be the person I may seem
I’m not too good with words
I can’t speak what my mind tells me to
I’m not that beautiful
So you might replace me too
I can’t do well in school
But I try my best to
I might not be the one for you
But I just want to tell you
I really like you
Apr 11, 2020
Apr 11, 2020 at 3:11 AM UTC
A bright morning on a glorious day,
She looked too pretty in every way,
I've never spoken to her but I'd really like to,
Yet my lips tremble every time I try to.
She's like an angel with the wings of a dove,
I would dive to the depths of the ocean to be in the depths of her love!
But there's one thing, I don't get the point,
We've never spoken yet I feel our hands should be joint,
Is it an infatuation? I'm afraid so,
But I would never want her to go.
I know for a fact that I'll never stop loving you,
I can't forget you even though I'm really trying to,
Even if I burst my bubble I can't take you off my mind,
I looked everywhere but a girl like you I couldn't find.
I'm not a bad person I really wanna show you,
I think it's absurd I love you even though I don't know you,
Thinking about this I'm in a wrap,
Like an undoubting deer I walked into your love trap.
You're like teardrops in rain, here with me yet your not,
You're really special to me among the huge lot.
If you let me I can take away all your pain,
Promises don't last but I will always try my best not to let this end in vain.
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 10:54 AM UTC
After months of solitude,
The crack of shell,
Preordained,
Was an incentive,
To regain contact.
But I had made up my mind,
Talk when needed.
Tried to be invisible.
There are means,
Meetings and circumstances,
Not within our understanding.
Oblivious to everything,
I hardly recognized faces besides me.
And He was one of them.
It was so simple for him to ask me, 'What was pseudo chiral carbon?'
I scarcely looked at his face,
Provided the information.
When not in sight,
It struck me who he was?
After few days of constant search,
I found him.
There were little Sparks of wanting to know more,
And easily I forgot about him.
And one day,
My eyes fixed on him,
For moment such a brief,
But I withdrew them.
And from then and everyday,
I looked at him,
Once or twice.
And he did the same.
Wanted him to look at something in my eyes,
But we both ignored it.
There were ways I tried to gain attention,
Coming early was one option,
But fearing the disclosure of my emotions,
Never looked at him.
How silly I was,
Thinking of coincidences,
That can bring up a conversation.
He hardly cared.
Attitude is all I possess,
And confirmed to minds thinking.
Seldom have I thought of,
Coincidences,
But when they concern him,
Wish it to be true.
And Maybe one day,
He'll look into my eyes.
And find what I have been trying to hide.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 9:55 AM UTC
Do you remember,
When we ran the world?
We were the king and queen
Of a dominion, so big and true,
The central of which was a eucalypt stump
Guarded by a broken, barbed wire fence
Do you remember,
When we thought
We’d never get older
And we’d never grow apart
Only closer?
I miss those halcyon days
Afternoons and mornings
Under a great blue sky
Back when we ran the world
Because the world we always knew
Was so small and tiny
Just like our minds and bodies
Our problems seem so close
And these youthful days seem so far away
But I remember them so dearly
With every breath of gust carrying
The pure scent of fresh mown grass
And with every taste of orange juice
I hope you cherish them as well
Because they mean the world to me
And I still dream of these days
Both waking and through the night
Where I can live untroubled once more
By your side, hand in hand
Against the villainy of getting older
Even though it’s the inevitable fate
All crowns rust in the unavoidable years
Which come and go
With changes unprecedented
But embraced with an adult acceptance
Because we aren’t children anymore
We aren’t in a playground dominion
Along a beaten path and in the shade
Our reign is over, and I no longer know
The faces who have taken our places
But I hope you know
I thank you for the memories
They were so sweet and innocent
And even as we got older
And our feelings grew stranger,
I believe we’ll always have our days
As kings and queens
In our little-big dominion
So long as we always remember
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 12:12 AM UTC
do you recall
the crunch beneath our feet
a gesture small
as we ambled down the street
dirt and gravel
I felt pebbles through my shoe
I unravelled
When I looked at you
Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face
Sunlight peaked through maple branches
in such a tranquil way
missed chances to make advances
I always hoped you'd stay
a fork in the road ahead
we went different directions
I used many different methods
to try and snag your attention
Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face
you never seemed to notice
you just stared ahead
heart bloomed as if a lotus
while I tugged at a loose thread
sometimes I'd begin to speak
but choked upon my words
so I walked next to you without a peep
and together watched the birds
Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face
it's odd and super subtle
the synchronicity
insignificant and pointless
yet means the world to me
quiet walks every afternoon
past the garage and dead leaves
we watched the starlings courtship
do you remember me?
Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 2:29 AM UTC
She was four and I was six.
We held hands and ate pixie stix.
The big head little girl whom followed me around the corner.
Soon we became friends.
We held hands with skin like bricks.
I cleansed her hands inside mine.
The words we didn't know how to pronounce until we were older.
The house across the street covered in thick brick.
Our parents always pictured us together.
I cleansed her hands inside of mine.
The big head little girl across the street.
Her hair in a tight colorful scrunchy. Hair spread all over her head.
We both had to be in before the street lights came on.
Head full of dirt.faces darker than they were before we met each other outside.
Our clothes covered in dirt and grime.
Our fingers filled with splinters.
The chime of laughs and smiles.
The big headed girl whom loved pink and purple pixie stix whom followed me around until the street lights came on.
She always gave me the blue ones and called me her friend.
I remember the time I never wanted you to follow me around.
Often threatening to feed you to my dog.
Pushing you off the swing.
Stealing your turn sliding down the slide.
You never let me go anywhere alone.
Here I am, now older. Picturing the big headed messy hair girl whom always followed me around.
Truthfully I never minded.
Even now, ringing your doorbell in thought
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 4:25 PM UTC
I remember the day I became a boy
From the small little kid I was
That transformation changed my life
For the better or worse
Who knows
It happened on the playground
While playing freeze tag
He grabbed my hand to run
But just a little too tight
And my heart went BADUMP
****** my hand back, froze on the spot
And he stopped running too
"What's wrong" he asked "are you ok?"
I wasn't feeling sick and I could count 1-10
But my heart was all confused
From then on I could never go back
To being some random kid
From now on I was a boy
With feelings, emotions and love
Soon to be a man.
Feb 14, 2017
Feb 14, 2017 at 2:14 PM UTC