#familyproblems
sister's a smoker
brother says ****
mommy doesn't listen
and daddy gets mean when he's drunk
but we're the perfect family to them all
because they can't see
the family behind the mask
of who we pretend to be
the yelling, the fighting
it always turns out the same
maybe i'm the ******* problem
because it's always this way
Jun 13, 2025
Jun 13, 2025 at 8:35 PM UTC
you can't call me fat
then start crying
cause I don't want to play Uno with you
Mar 26, 2025
Mar 26, 2025 at 9:37 AM UTC
do they care?
of course they do
do they act like they care?
... mostly
does it feel like they care?
not really
Dec 26, 2024
Dec 26, 2024 at 9:24 PM UTC
"YOUR GRADES ARE SLIPPING
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU"
there are people in my grade that would **** for a C
an A- is not that bad
"I KNOW YOU CAN RUN FASTER
YOU'RE JUST NOT TRYING"
this is the fastest I can run
i'm sorry you're dissappointed
"YOU'RE EATING AGAIN
SLOW DOWN BIGGIE"
it's just a granola bar
I haven't eaten anything else all day
"NOBODY LIKES YOU
N O B O D Y"
...
it's fine
it's all fine
i'll fix it all
don't you worry
Mom
I promise no assignments will have less then 100 ever again
every 100%
every smiley face
every "good job!"
will be written on the paper with the blood from my wrists
Dad
I promise i'll run faster
i'll run until I throw up
no
even better
until I pass out
Meena
I promise to stop eating so much
matter fact i'll just stop eating altogether
and I won't start again
not until you can clearly see my ribs poking through my skin
and Lali
I promise
once I make everyone else happy
i'll make you happy
by ending it all
Dec 25, 2024
Dec 25, 2024 at 10:54 PM UTC
Amidst my pain, I'm a machine
A vessel for everyone's endless whine
A call the mother makes, her voice so clear
Monique's illness, her own despair
She pours it all our without a care
My agony cast aside like usual
As I'd my suffering is but a ride
I'm a dispenser of sympathy
A shoulder to cry on endlessly
But where can I find my own release
In this one-sided exchange, I find no peace
Her words flow freely like a rivers tide
But mine are pushed aside
I'm but a vessel, a tool to be used
My own needs and feelings utterly refused
Oh mother, why are you so selfish to not hear my scream
The pain in my voice, that I carry deep inside
I'm not a machine, I'm flesh and bone
With feelings that you seem to disown
So here I am, a HUMAN VENDING MACHINE
Dispensing empathy
Nov 9, 2024
Nov 9, 2024 at 6:28 AM UTC
i’m not a daughter
i’m a trigger
i’m not person
i’m a gun
every problem
i make bigger
reminds me i 𝘢𝘮 one
i’m not a daughter
i’m a trigger
i’m the stain on your white blouse
and everybody, everybody knows
i am the darkness in this house.
Aug 2, 2023
Aug 2, 2023 at 12:53 PM UTC
wish i was them.
a decent family, maybe i would be better then.
i blame my parents for everything.
why was i born, why was i crying about everything.
Dec 15, 2020
Dec 15, 2020 at 1:06 AM UTC
1998, I came to the world
A sweet little girl
That later would be the opposite
But I was still so talented
Playing guitar and piano
Like my father did
I was holding his hand
Until I was 9 and moved to another land
My dreams and hopes were left behind
I couldn’t see a future
I was totally blind
And I began to grow and cry often
And when I turned thirteen
I was so lost
My skin couldn’t no more stay clean
Bleeding like a horror movie in the screen
I started running away
I had no more reasons to stay
I was only there to cause problems
My nights became days
And my nights became helpless
I know it sounds selfish
But I just didn’t have
I didn’t have any reason to keep fighting
And I’m the same self-destructive behavior
I kept spinning
When I was 18, I moved to my father’s house
I couldn’t even handle my own thoughts
My memories from I was 14 were little dots
I was living stuck with my voices
Hurting myself
And being enable to make my own choices
I only wish I could have made my family proud
But I couldn’t stand in my own feet
When I was already nineteen
A simple task I couldn’t complete
I wish I had made you happy
But I will always need help when myself
I have to defeat
I should have been doing better now
Get over my mom
And make my daddy proud
And I hope someday I will
Somehow
Feb 25, 2020
Feb 25, 2020 at 5:49 PM UTC
I am a warrior
Bold and brave
Master of an art of blade
I am a warrior
My armor is breaking
It hurts...I can't see
How?! It...It can't be?!
My armor is breaking.
Why it feels so hot?
Am...Am I loosing my sight?!
Why?! Why isn't there any light?!
Why it feels so hot?
I'm falling...
I can't see a **** thing...
I can't feel anything...
I'm failing...
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 12:54 PM UTC
There are times that I wish I was dead there are times when I ask god why did he make me. Was it just to make me cry every night. Make my own mother hate and blame me. Well then maybe I should let her **** me maybe I should run way maybe I disappear for goodness sake then someone said to me i know you hurt but you don’t how strong you really are so listen just listen
-Mia
I looked into my father’s eyes and saw the hatred...when he said I was no longer his son I pulled knife to my neck and said “devil have me” but god said wait don’t you let him take you away from me don’t you let him have my child just wait and listen
-Nick
I heard my mother cries saying she was sorry that she couldn’t afford the life we deserve. She was sorry that my father wasn’t around. She was sorry that my sister, her daughter might be stuck in a wheel chair for life. So I got down on my knees begged god to save me please and he said your greatness is coming my child just wait and listen
-Lorenzo
I heard the whispers that was a b*****d child, that my mother slept with married man. I heard the rumors that i wasn’t gonna go anywhere that I was just gonna end up like her a desperate soul. And that’s when I lost control. My mother died as I laid in her arms 16 & pregnant I was mad at the world but god was telling me to listen. Just wait and listen not to them but to me your greatness is coming your greatness is now
-Camille
He died in my arms blood everywhere, my mother left, my father was in Jail i was left by myself had this gun in my hand put it to head ready to pull the trigger but god said wait you have purpose open your ears and listen. He said boy don’t you do it don’t let the devil make you into something your not don’t let his demons break you like this. Just listen
-Malik
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 6:27 AM UTC
Writing, for me, is an escape.
An escape from the hatred that surrounds me.
An escape from the people who want to hurt me.
An escape from the people who send attackers after me.
An escape from the people who use others to get at me.
An escape from the darkness that lives within me.
An escape from the darkness that lives in you.
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 3:26 AM UTC
I found my glasses today
Under a coat of dust
At a friend’s house
A year after I lost them
I like what I see
I put them on
I feel normal again
Clark Kent would be proud
These lenses take the heat off my vision
I look like a normal guy
I feel normal
I can play video games
Talk about super heroes
And girls
And when I leave I go home to arm chairs
and arms full of charity
I should mention
I live at a friend’s house
Three squares, my own room
and a koi pond outside
It’s a hotel here
You see, I found family last month
Understanding
At a friend’s house
A week after I lost it
I didn’t know how I got there
I left Dad’s due to abuse
Mom kicked me out to refuse truth
And now they both pay each other money
As I walked down a rainy street without shoes
My friend’s family
And I’m grafted in
God should hate me
I’m a self-orphaned child
Soon to be a self-made man
I killed family
But I’m grafted in
Washington never cut down his father’s cherry tree
But I’m standing next to splinters
From the axe I didn’t swing
Should have, could have
Would have had I had half the brain I have now
Now
I feel like a normal guy
Who’s never thought about ******
Who never had parent issues?
Who never had help when they needed it?
Who feels normal?
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 1:02 PM UTC
Napakadaya nang buhay,Kanya-kanyang palusot para tumakas at maglakbay
Nagsinungaling ang tadhana ganun nga ba ang dahilan kung bakit sarado ang bintana
Tunog lang ang iyong naririnig , dahil hindi mo pedeng husgaan ang nasa loob ng kanyang bibig
Nagtataka ka dahil wala kang ebidensya sa mga narinig , Subalit umaatake padin ang mga daga sa dibdib
Nanginginig , dahil di ka sigurado sa tono , tama nga siguro ang hinala ko
Nakakalungkot lang isipin sarili nating kaibigan,kamag-anak,kapatid
Ay nagsisinungaling upang makamit ang kasiyahang dapat talagang ilihim
Ang daya naman dito , gusto ko nalang tumakas dito at ipunas ang mga luha ko
na hindi mo makikita dahil nakatago sa dilim
Balang araw dudungaw nalang ako sa isang butas na gawa sa abaka,
At tatakasan ang ilusyong mundo at maglakbay sa reyalidad
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 19, 2018 at 12:53 PM UTC
I am from whisk.
From Mr.Clean and Odoban.
I am from my locked closet (dark).
I am from my mom's attempted fruit trees (they always die),
a palm tree in front of my room’s window,
I always wanted to climb out my window and escape by climbing down it.
I’m from protein shakes and Alex being addicted to Alex Clare so he bought a hat similar to Alex Clare's hat
From Chip (hates his real name “douglas”) and Alex (not alexander)
I’m from my mom's breeding of dogs/ entrepreneur/ planners and my dad's travelling for work/playing drums/being a jokester,
From “Oh honey, your back looks okay, but your stomach…” and “Do you want to die of cancer?”
I’m from my best friend telling me “You embody light and love”
With making earrings
And always crying alone
I’m from another reason why I’m closest to my dad and unidentifiable.
Lamb and french fries.
From Zyler breaking his pinky toe by dropping a large rock on his foot
To Zyler plugging his ears whenever Alex or dad sings, or plugging his ears when he hears music he doesn’t like and/or want to listen to at that time
Our childhood/baby year memories are kept in boxes with our names on them in the office, We have baby books that go up to about 1 ½ to 2 years old, Facebook
I am The uninvited third wheel tagging along on a date
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 30, 2018 at 8:54 PM UTC
strangers gathered around a table
talking and laughing
smiling at each other like they have a secret
an inside joke
a bond
they are surrounding me
the cheerful mood is intoxicating
makes me feel as if everything will be okay
the mirage shatters
the illusion disappears
I do not belong here
I have never belonged here
I have always been on the outside
looking in
I often catch myself wanting
and wishing
to be in
to feel at peace
and happy
is all I have ever wanted
to be included
but I will always be on the outside of everything
and never truly belong
Dec 24, 2017
Dec 24, 2017 at 5:05 PM UTC
She’s got stars in her eyes
But not the good kind, no,
The kind she hides behind her smile
She laughs and jokes, of course,
But she’s a little off today
I can see it
It’s in the slump of her shoulders
When no one’s looking,
And the way she stares into the distance
When there’s a pause in the conversation
I wish she wouldn’t
I wish she was as happy as she says she is,
When I know she’s not
She’s got the blues today
Her parents don’t help
This morning when she got out of the car
She had to put up that wall
To make everything seem alright
When it’s really not
She’s got stars in her eyes,
But not the good kind, no,
The kind i would take away in an instant if I could
If only I could.
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 1:53 PM UTC
What if I do this
What if I do that
What if I take too much time
What if I wish I didn't do that
.
What if I was stuck at the wheel with a gun to my back
.
What if I could count all the stars
What if I didn't screenshot all the pictures we took at the park
.
What if I didn't do this
What if I didn't do that
Will you ever have my back??
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016 at 2:58 AM UTC
on your very first birthday, you will hear many things
you will not be able to decipher them yet but
they will echo in your ear until you go to sleep,
you will hear about how big you've grown and how
beautiful you are or how beautiful you're going to be
and the highlight of your day will be when finally you
get to cut into that delicious chocolate cake that your
aunt made you and you will run around the yard
and laugh as you trip endlessly and the big kids won't play
with you but that's okay because you're one and you
don't really understand that strange feeling in your heart
when they say that you're too little to join in on their game
of tag and everything is so confusing because
your grandmother said that you were a big girl now but
somehow you are not big enough and you won't be for
awhile but you don't really care because in that moment you
are one and everything is an adventure for you;
from the wet grass in the backyard to the weird kisses your
older brother and the girl across the street exchange
but that just makes everything ten times more interesting
and you are still protesting even though it is futile that you
don't want to go to bed and even though you are still
forced to go to bed earlier than you want, you are happy
because today you turned one years old and you are big
enough to cut the cake with some help from your
mom but still too small to play tag with the big kids and the
concept is confusing but exhilarating and you cannot wait
for the next day and as your breathing becomes more
even you succumb to the dark and fall asleep and everything
is okay because you are one and you do not know yet
that when you are five your mother will stop making time for
you or that when you are ten everyone will stop caring about
your existence and that when you are thirteen the boy in your
school that you really really like will tell you that you are ugly
and everyone else will follow and when you get to be
seventeen you will be so desperate to leave this misery called
life that you will try and force yourself to go into a
different type of sleep, the more permanent kind and your father
will say you're being an attention ***** and your
mother will start to wonder where she went wrong
and your older brother won't care because he won't find
out that you are depressed or sad until the day of your
funeral, when you are nineteen and finally asleep,
although this time; you don't try to fight it
instead you go willingly and succumb to the darkness
much like you did when you were younger and
unaware that life is not a great adventure, it
is more like a never ending hell that will make
you wish that you were one
(h.l.)
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 6, 2015 at 10:02 PM UTC
Habang hawak-hawak mo ang kanyang kamay
'San man kayo magpunta
Kailan ba'y naisip mo ako
Na nalulunod sa pangungulila
Nang ako'y iyong binitiwan?
Habang kayakap mo siya
Sa gabing maginaw
Kailan ba'y naisip mo ako
Na naghihintay sa'yo
Mag-isa, nanlalamig
At sa init ng 'yong yakap ay uhaw?
Habang hinahalikan mo
Ang kanyang mapupulang labi
Kailan ba'y naisip mo ako
Na halos matuyo na ang labi
Sa kasasambit ng pangalan mo?
Habang binubulong mo sa kanya
Kung gaano mo siya kamahal
Kailan ba'y naisip mo ako,
Narinig mo ako?
Sumisigaw na "Mahal na Mahal kita!"
Habang pinagmamasdan mo
Ang kanyang matamis na ngiti
Kailan ba'y naisip mo ako,
Nakita mo ako, nakita mo
Kung gaano na karaming patak ng luha
Ang naidilig ko sa lupa?
At sa kung siya ay umiiyak at iyong pinatatahan
Habang pinupunasan mo
Ang kanyang mga luha
Kailan ba'y naisip mo ako,
Naisipan mo man lang ba?
Na itigil ang paulit-ulit
Na pagsaksak mo sa puso kong
Dumudgo sa kaiibig sayo?
Pero alam ko
Na may kasalan din ako
Kasi....
Kailan ma'y di ko naisip
Na sa higpit ng yakap ko'y nasasakal ka na pala
Kailan ma'y di ko naisip
Na kahit gaano kalawak ang bahay nati'y
Nasisikipan parin ang iyong dibdib
At hindi kana nakakahinga
Kailan ma'y di ko naisip
Na kahit napagalitan ka sa opisina, sabik ka sana sa paguwi
Pero ang dadatnan mo lang ay isang malawak na bahay
Na mayroong isang "ako" na puro dada at reklamo lang
At ang iyong naririnig mula sa aking bibig
na tila daig pa ang isang rapper
sa bilis at walang paltos na panlalait
Kailan ma'y di ko naisip
'di ko inisip ang iyong opinyon
Kasi palagi nalang ako, ako, ako
Ako ang tama
Kailan ma'y di ko naisip
Habang ika'y umuuwing pagod
Dinuduro pa rin kita
At ito'y tumatagos na sa puso mo
Hanggang sa sinabi **** tama na,
Hindi mo na kaya, Ayaw mo na
At yun umalis kana, iniwan mo na ako
Pero heto ako ngayon sa harapan mo...
Nagtatanong
Kung mahal mo pa ba ako?
At kung ang iyong sagot ay hindi na'y
Heto ako ngayon sa harapan mo...
Nagbabakasakali
Na may pag-asa pang mahalin mo ako ulit
At kung wala na ay
Heto ako ngayon
Sa harapan mo
Lumuluhod
Nagmamakaawa
Na balikan mo ako
Balikan mo ako
Balikan mo kami
Pakiusap umuwi ka na
Sa malawak na bahay
Na bahay mo, na bahay ko
Umuwi ka na, kahit 'di para sa'kin
Kun'di para sa mga anak mo, na anak ko
Para sa pamilyang ito
Parang awa mo na
Bumalik ka na
Kasi sa malawak na bahay
Naroon ako, at ang mga anak mo
Nangungulila... at
Naghihintay
Sa pagbalik mo
**
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 5:10 AM UTC
"do you have anything to say to me?"
*why don't you love me?
why aren't i good enough for you?
what did i do to you?
why did you abandon me?
you've never actually loved me like you loved him
was there ever a time i didn't disappoint you?
i wish i didn't need you but i do
i love you
i wish you knew how much you mean to me
why do you want to fix me so **** badly?
sometimes i feel like a stranger in this house
i know you regret me
i regret me
i don't know if i can forgive you
i hope i can
will i ever feel like when i was eight
when you'd give me piggy-back rides and smiles?
i miss you
i'm sorry i'm not the daughter you want,
nor will i probably ever be
why don't you ever let me explain myself?
why is everything my fault?
will this barrier between us ever break?*
"no."
(h.l.)
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 8:10 PM UTC