I am done, my pen has lost it's ink
No more words, no more battles
I lay it down, the ink will dry out
In silence, my thoughts continue to scream and shout
The pages of these books filled with every feeling
Now a canvas of worthlessness
I am not going to bother with anyone
No longer will I be a burden
As death will soon arrive
There's no point to writing in this book
As no one will see
I barely bother to talk anymore.
I barely leave my place and the times I do
I wish I never had
Jun 2, 2025
Jun 2, 2025 at 2:51 AM UTC
Amidst my pain, I'm a machine
A vessel for everyone's endless whine
A call the mother makes, her voice so clear
Monique's illness, her own despair
She pours it all our without a care
My agony cast aside like usual
As I'd my suffering is but a ride
I'm a dispenser of sympathy
A shoulder to cry on endlessly
But where can I find my own release
In this one-sided exchange, I find no peace
Her words flow freely like a rivers tide
But mine are pushed aside
I'm but a vessel, a tool to be used
My own needs and feelings utterly refused
Oh mother, why are you so selfish to not hear my scream
The pain in my voice, that I carry deep inside
I'm not a machine, I'm flesh and bone
With feelings that you seem to disown
So here I am, a HUMAN VENDING MACHINE
Dispensing empathy
Nov 9, 2024
Nov 9, 2024 at 6:28 AM UTC
I'm a ghost, slowly disappearing
From this terrible world
A world full of opinionated and judgefull people
The say the hardest simple thing to make my life harder
Yet i am just able to stand up for myself
Just a simple ghost passing through this world
Hopefully I will be skinny enough
To pass through everyone
Apr 30, 2024
Apr 30, 2024 at 5:00 AM UTC
Deep into the darkness of my head
Multiple individuals came nearing
These are slowly becoming clearer
These individuals started to have
Their own say of what they can do
Suddenly I didn't know who I am
WHO AM I??
Am I rude, a selfish person or an evil one
Or is it the opposite
Am I knid, caring, helpful
I honestly doubt it's the second one
When I wake or come back into light
All I questioned
Is Who Am I
Feb 9, 2024
Feb 9, 2024 at 4:55 AM UTC
One afternoon I said to myself,
"Why isn't the timeless more profane?"
A timeless is sacrosanct. a timeless is spiritual,
a timeless is numinous, however.
A creative, however hard it tries,
Will always be part.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the creative,
Gently it goes - the whole, the all, the component.
How happy is the wooly charismatic!
Does the charismatic make you shiver?
does it?
Oct 26, 2023
Oct 26, 2023 at 6:19 AM UTC
Looking outside and all
I see is chaos
The wind howling through
The apartment that I live in
It looks and sounds like
The chaos in my head
The dripping of rain
Are silent but still there
These are my tears
That fall down my face
Onto the pillow in my room
Where no one is with me.
Oct 4, 2023
Oct 4, 2023 at 1:12 AM UTC
Silently screaming out loud
No one can hear me
No one can see me suffer
I am slowly running out
Out of air to breathe
Every tear I have cried
Sits on my pillow
The pillow that no one sees
The silent cry for help
I say that I am fine
But I'm dying on the inside
What happens if my silence
Is the thing that kills me
Life is life
Death is inevitable
I welcome it everyday
Oct 4, 2023
Oct 4, 2023 at 1:07 AM UTC
What is a mother?
I thought a mother was meant to be there for you
Not to have favourites
But I was wrong
I never had a mother
A mother is meant to be caring and understanding
But my one isn't
She is not my mother she is just another person
That does not give a crap about me
I finally realise that
She is not there for me and never has
Yeah sure having a dead daughter
But then having a daughter who really is so codependent
Where in her heart can she fit me in
She does not have the capacity
I take soo many pills at night to get Sleep
I thought that she would have changed since Dad died
But she didn't
My hopes of having a mother is gone
I am just the disappointment daughter
Or as she calls me a burden
What type off mother would call their own daughter that
I guess the one I have
I am a burden hence why I try to **** myself everyday
I might actually succeed this time
I don't want to be a part off this so called family
Listen to surface pressure
I am the daughter
I am not the oldest
Everyone thinks the song is about being the oldest sibling
But I am the youngest
Life is not fair but she does not give a **** about me
This is me signing off for the last time
Oct 11, 2022
Oct 11, 2022 at 4:13 AM UTC
Sleep what is it
Is it getting a break from your mind
Or something else
How do you get Sleep
By taking pills, by relaxing and meditation
Or do you need pills to get you to sleep
Pills that are addictive but now the question is
Do they help
Most people would say yes it does
But for me no they don't
Is it the environment you're in
Nightmares keep you up and not wanting sleep
However no one can truly understand sleep
I was told if you eat you get Sleep
However that is not the case
Sleep cannot be defined by a label
Or medication
I don't know what is sleep but what I do know
Is that I can not get any, since seeing death
I close my eyes and I see my dad
He is not alive
He is not breathing
He is dead in his bed
My Nightmares keep me awake
When you are young and see someone like that in a bed
You ask yourself what could you have done better but
No one could ever understand what you have gone through
And what you are still going through
Sep 25, 2022
Sep 25, 2022 at 3:27 AM UTC
It's one thing that can help sleep
Once you start there it can become an addiction
It helps me think and study
Stops me from eating
Stops me from being scared
It just helps with my feeling and emotions
Stuck in my room alone
It's the one thing that can help
Isolation is fine with me
Family is hard though but I don't mind or care
It has always been this way.
Aug 2, 2021
Aug 2, 2021 at 11:12 PM UTC