#fakesmiles
i am both beauty and destruction,
I know how to love but not how to be loved.
i've felt pain in all its forms and yet
i still try my best to put on
a fake smile.
CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?
Mar 27, 2021
Mar 27, 2021 at 6:55 PM UTC
I'm tired
I'm tired of faking my smiles
pretending to be happy
lying that I'm fine
I'm tired of being a disappointment
Being a mess
Being useless
I'm tired of dealing with toxic people
With a broken family
I'm tired of panic attacks
I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of everything
Sep 8, 2019
Sep 8, 2019 at 10:04 AM UTC
pity me
i have never felt so lonesome in a crowded room
we all know you didn't come here to see me
pity
pity
pity
is the only reason you glance my way
the girl with the difficult past
sits
alone
what a stereotype
stop pretending you mean it
and that
you
care
what a stereotype
you only want to talk to me
so you can be the one to push back the curtain
and
finally
reveal the wizard
such a shame
that i'm a ******* goddess
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 2:17 PM UTC
'How to apply eye shadow' the title of the video said. I looked at it with bewilderment, amazed at myself for finally resorting to this. I was to dress well today. I was to look pretty for people so when they'd look at me, they'd miss the dark circles that lined my eyes like a clingy lover.
I was to hide all the diprived part of my face from luck of proper supplement with foundation that resembled my skin.
I was to conceal the acne that started appearing a couple of weeks ago with a powder I didn't quite recognize.
I was to decorate my eyes with eyeliner and mascara, my eyelashes curled way past their normal size, to hide how puffy they were from the night spent in tears.
I was to brush my eyebrows for they'd lose their shape each time I rubbed my eyes to hold off the pending emotional storm.
I was too put blush on my sleep deprived face so i'd have an illusion of being lively.
Then i'd pick up the bright red lipstick and draw precise lines on my puffy lips, making them glow with a ferver I never felt.
I would look at myself then, make up hiding every inch of the parts people would see and it would amaze me how even the well done mask could never truely hide the ache that shattered my soul.
I start to walk out, then stop to look back at myself.
"You forgot something," I say then pick my smile up from the hidden place I keep it and plaster it on my face.
"There you go."
Oct 16, 2018
Oct 16, 2018 at 7:52 PM UTC
it takes seventeen muscles to smile.
it takes forty three muscles to frown.
if it takes more muscles to frown then it does to smile,
then why does it take so much more effort to smile when you're sad?
or to smile in general?
Mar 28, 2018
Mar 28, 2018 at 11:09 PM UTC
it's the little things about you that make me go crazy.
like the way you bite your lip when your nervous or flustered. or when you laugh you cover your mouth because you hate your smile.
i love it. it proves that you're happy.
but you can be sad. you can be putting a fake smile on just to please others. you can be hurting but not want others to.
you need to understand that, you're not gonna be happy all the time. you're not going to to be able to please people all the time. you can't stress yourself over nothing. you can't always look outside the box.
you can't always focus on the big things. sometimes the little things are the best things.
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 24, 2018 at 7:36 PM UTC
You never look back
It's the first thing I noticed about you
Your past, your pain, your failures
You never look back
But I always do.
When I walk away, I look back to see if you're watching
You're not
You are focused
You are direct
You are confident in who you are, where you are
You are you
But I am me
Me, who is looking up at you, marveling to see what you will accomplish next
Me, noticing every movement you make, every sound, every hesitation
Me, noticing when your smile isn't real
So I give you mine to use
And it fits you perfectly
You fit into it and my smile becomes yours
And mine is plastic again
The mold I use to create my smiles so I can give them away to those who need them
You, whose movements are fluid as water
You, who is always trying new things
You, who excels
You are an asset to humanity
A unifier
A guide to the light within the darkness
And I watch your work
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 6:29 PM UTC
tears fall
tears fall
drip drop
i want them to
but i can't make them
stop
crying
crying
it's not bad
all it means is i'm a little
sad
hurting
hurting
it's okay
i can't always have everything
my way
dying
dying
i'm alright
i'll never go down
without a fight
laughing
laughing
you should know
my smile is fake
it's just for show
tears fall
tears fall
drip drop
i want them to
but i can't make them
stop
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 5:37 PM UTC
The people
Who notice
Broken smiles
Are the ones
That have
Their own
How are they
Supposed to
Save someone else
When they
Can't even
Save themself
From darkness
And pain
That hides behind
The dreaded
Fake smile
That fools
Them all
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 2:36 PM UTC
Everyday I wake up,
I feel alone,
To my friends who love me,
I fake my smiles and pretend I'm fine,
No one sees the tears I hide inside.
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 2:55 PM UTC
Some smiles are merely
a motion,
skin stretching to
cover
a thought
inflicted wound.
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 12:34 AM UTC
Put a smile on your
Face and soon enough, you will
Believe you're okay.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 12:43 AM UTC
I may smile on the outside
But it's all one big lie.
I'm dying inside
Tearing at my akin
Just so I can feel, even for a second.
You tell me I look fine
But little do you know
That I'm one step off the edge...
Teetering...
Waiting for a reason to stay.
You say I look happy
But I'm not.
I starve to feel worthy,
I cut to feel alive.
I think of suicide as a way of ending this pain.
I don't want to die
But I no longer want to hurt.
So what's that...
I look fine?
Little do you know behind my smile
Lies a thousand little secrets
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 6:16 PM UTC
Give me your pain.
You don't need to have it,
Nor should you and you don't deserve it.
Wipe your tears away,
That cover your pretty face.
Find that smile again.
Your smile, you think.
Well that is fake,
But that's what I want to change.
Give me your pain,
Give me it all.
Then you won't have to suffer,
anymore.
Think to your self.
Not of your demons inside,
But instead angelic thoughts.
Your lying in bed,
The covers over your head.
Now softly have sweet dreams.
Waking up in the morning,
You wash your face.
Now start the day with joy.
Give me your pain,
I say once again.
I'll hide it away from you.
You don't need to weep,
Your thoughts not too deep,
If you just give your pain to me.
There's no need for you,
To be on your knees.
Next wipe the dirt from the floor.
Pour yourself a drink,
Very mindlessly.
You don't need to be careful anymore.
Give me your pain,
Is what I say everyday.
I don't want to be ignored.
Guys, give me your pain!
This is what i think and want.
I don't want you or anyone,
to suffer from your thoughts.
So give me your pain.
I don't have much,
but I want a whole lot more.
I'd brace a smile, everyday,
to free you from this mess.
Give me your pain,
I whisper to you.
I am not asking but demanding.
I will not accept you saying no,
so don't deny me again.
Instead, the thing you can do,
is give me your pain now.
Aug 30, 2014
Aug 30, 2014 at 3:00 PM UTC