i never thought remembering
would burn this much, nor that it would consume my sleep at night.
I remember how happy and sentimental
cute clingy songs made me feel, because my pathetic heart felt every lyric.
I now find myself skipping those songs because they remind me the pain of you. That last taste of your lips that used to give me comfort, but none of it was real. How could you sit there, look me in my teared up eyes and lie to my face? I wonder how many times you touched me, kissed me knowing **** well you did not love me anymore, these questions torment me on my daily basis. Therefore I keep myself busy to distract my thoughts from you,
I can heal all i want, but how do i get this feeling of betrayal off my skin? I find it very ironic how you used to blame me for the sins you were comitting. Broken promises and blood spilling, but you're perfectly fine.
That's such a ********
These memories became a wound on my soul and you my stabber but i gave you the dagger, i regret you all the time. We became a tainted memory id like to fully erase from my being.
Mar 9, 2023
Mar 9, 2023 at 5:58 PM UTC
on your last day
the sun was shining
and big white clouds ran across the sky
someone held you tight
and told you, "i love you"
admired you
and cherished you
on your last day
all of your love poured out
you inspired
and you soared
you lived
and you died
your love remains
always
Feb 2, 2023
Feb 2, 2023 at 11:18 PM UTC
I find myself hiding
under my bed sheets,
every corner of my room haunts me.
The alcohol on my breath worries my mother.
The aroma of your cologne
remains impregnated on the sweater
I wore the last time I saw you .
I hate you even though I miss you through my teeth
and even though this feeling consumes me,
I regret you all the time.
Leaving tore me apart, but realizing you’d already abandoned us stinged even more. No matter how tiring my days were, I would always seek out that street corner, where your words first wrapped me with love. But now, the sight of it from across the street is a wound that refuses to heal.
I expressed out the fear that loving you caused me, due the damage I had already lived through and even so you continued to do me the same damage
I drown seeking answers for the endless doubts that you left me.
I lose myself in a glass of wine, chasing the ghost of our first kiss.
Did you ever thought of me? Or did your narcissism get the better of you once again?
Jan 20, 2023
Jan 20, 2023 at 6:17 PM UTC
its a never ending cycle,
loss after loss. Im tired of my friends
telling me that time heals, i know it does
but for a moment i just want to stop healing, breaking.
i keep breaking myself over and over, im tired.
Tired of healing, tired of breaking,
tired of giving my all and receive nothing but sorrow.
When will I get off this labyrinth of suffering im trapped in?
Jan 5, 2023
Jan 5, 2023 at 1:50 PM UTC
you used to tell me how much you
liked my eyes and sight, just to end
up making them sore and lose their brightness.
you said you had no intentions of hurting me
but here am i, crying till im out of breath.
you said you loved me and that i made you
happy, but you still left me for her.
So tell me, how am i suppose to trust
and love another human being when none of
it was real...
Jan 5, 2023
Jan 5, 2023 at 1:26 PM UTC
she is lost but she does not crave to be found.
her world went quiet but she accepted it cause in some sick and destructive way it brought her peace and she felt safe in her own madness.
And although her days are full of tears and anguish... she cant picture herself ever getting out of this labyrinth of suffering she trapped herself in.
this is her silent punishment.
Apr 3, 2022
Apr 3, 2022 at 5:49 PM UTC
The air is crackling,
As your mind is being liberated,
Freedom is undoubtedly near,
As time is moving,
Erosion wears away even the tallest of mountains,
Relentlessly, tearing even the strongest bonds asunder,
Yet, it rekindles,
Unwavering, our flame resists,
The loitering dark.
~ Umi
Oct 8, 2021
Oct 8, 2021 at 4:16 PM UTC
Somehow hope still lingers through my soul.
Time has broken me in ways that i sometimes wonder how I'm still standing?
But that little hope that keeps me sane ironically has a first and last name.
Aint it pathetic how my sanity depends on the person who unintentionally keeps breaking me? Aint it pathetic how he is having the happiest days while im here patiently waiting for his comeback although i deep down know that day is not anywhere near this present. Pathetic little me right?
Jun 15, 2021
Jun 15, 2021 at 10:25 AM UTC
i hate how often my brain and heart are in a constant battle over that old love i deep down know i would never be capable of forgetting .
my heart keeps telling me i have to try again when in the other side my brain knows its a catastrophic idea and it would hurt more than not trying.
But my heart only tells me what my consieuse wants and my brain tells me whats best for my mental stability.
i really have no idea who am i suppose to listen
May 4, 2021
May 4, 2021 at 9:56 PM UTC
I will light up a cigarette and smoke your memory.
As I inhale I will savor your minty flavor for the very last time then,
i'll exhale all the love I feel towards you.
I will throw you out like you did with me in that April night.
Apr 5, 2021
Apr 5, 2021 at 7:39 PM UTC