#fabulous
Ten minutes ago,
I looked fabulous.
My hair was so pretty
And neat.
Not wetted down
with sweat from the top of my head
to the *****
Of my feet.
Ten minutes ago
I looked fabulous.
Even though traffic
Was angry and tight
The AC cooled my face and
My eyes
On my drive to here.
My thighs were not chaffing
And my underarms were dry.
Ten minutes ago
I looked fabulous.
My linen suit was pressed.
I was so pleased
With how I dressed.
Now ignore the wrinkles
That plague my skirt.
I will not cry
Nor look hurt.
Ten minutes ago
I looked fabulous.
My answers memorized.
My potential on the brink
Of being realized.
I was not rushing and
Falling up steps.
Ten minutes ago
I looked fabulous.
Nov 8, 2023
Nov 8, 2023 at 8:36 PM UTC
Like a cell drawing in pure water, rejecting unnecessary, undesirable molecules.
Like a virus spreading multiplying, taking over with vigor and tenacity.
Like the bubbles on the burbling lips of a toddler, growing and popping and dripping.
Like a ronin samurai without a lord, coming and going like the wind.
Like a thought that just won’t quit, a feeling that burrows into the bones.
Like the intensity of a fire, when a steady wind presses the seat of the fuel source.
So is my passion for life.
Apr 20, 2023
Apr 20, 2023 at 8:48 PM UTC
Is this it ? Is this (to be) the One ?
....No! It won't work, it never does... they never do
It works for others yes!
But no! not for me
Have seen too many false dawns now
I won't fool myself again with thoughts of...
Thoughts of El Dorado land.
Just because I've found a new way
And it'll feel good for a little while
But then it'll go just like they always go
Those nice feelings that come
They lie to me, they laugh at me
Make a fool of me every time
Like a mirage
Dancing tantalisingly in the distance
Only to disappear once you grow near
I know their not going to last, not going to stay
They'll not take me... not take me to El Dorado land.
But still, maybe... maybe I'll celebrate all the same
Just for the hell of it
Make believe that this was surely IT this time
Yea! I'll get a little drunk and pretend, pretend I've found it at last
What I've always been looking for,
All those years of looking and never finding
Feeding on scraps, vague intuitions, funny dreams and feelings...
Even though I know it's not gonna work
Knowing that behind it all it was always bound to fail
That I'll always be outside those gates looking in
Knowing I'm not invited.
II
They talked of a land that was wondrous, marvellous!
Not something out there but something here within
Of a strength that was golden, that was yours and yours alone
That could never be stolen
A great treasure that lay inside... that lay within
I read their books, I studied their maps
And then I set out, I set out for El Dorado land.
I followed them as best I could
I tried, I tried but seemed to lose every time
I know - I know I did it wrong
I always do it wrong
Wrong is where I live I think
Wrong is where I come from
Probably Wrong is where I belong.
I'm old now
I watched and waited too long
And nothing much really happened
And no one...no one came.
To have lived and never to have seen, never to have known
El Dorado land.
May 20, 2021
May 20, 2021 at 10:09 AM UTC
Recall that moonlit night,
We were together on that lovingly sight.
What a wonderful moment that was,
Really, that was the real paradise.
My love for you, no need any lens,
Stars and fireflies are the evidence.
Walking together on a snowy path, glorious than the fantasy,
Never ever anyone had experienced on this galaxy.
Holding hands and waist tightly, my lips touched by yours,
Looked like, got an never ending love source.
Oct 22, 2020
Oct 22, 2020 at 10:26 PM UTC
We ghetto rich,
I'm a Primark star..
I got every piece of original
Pri… and I've neve bee
marked down in price,
I'm beautiful....
No need for rich chick flicks..
I own what I got, make the most
of what I'm given.
Beauty isn't what you got,
its what you do with it,
Never looking down always forward.
Because I make the most of what I have,
you work hard, we make do..
I'm Pre-fabulous...
And its not what you wear,
but how you wear it.
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 12:28 PM UTC
A company grows
Fabulous and rich
In sixteen years,
Just considering you dead.
Another grows
Fabulous and rich
In sixteen years,
Just considering you living.
You remain still,
The living dead
For sixteen years
At the same account
Is it called "Karma"?
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 12:24 AM UTC
Written on 11/20/2017
That awkward moment when someone flirts with you on a dating app and says "I like that you look masculine."
You see,
I never saw masculinity as a part of me.
My identity was always flamboyant,
wearing pink shirts and sashes,
crop tops with styling gelled eyelashes,
sparkling headbands and dazzling bandannas,
snapback hats featuring giant bananas,
I dressed with the raging flamboyance of flamingos!
Sporting a certain type of femininity that only a gay man knows.
All the trimming and cutting, and shaving and nairing,
for hours,
as time and body hair intertwined in the showers,
washed masculinity off my body down the drain,
Experienced electrolysis burns, but the pain
had infected my thoughts,
like each hair is unnatural.
Purge it all,
Scorch and torch it all,
Leave nothing at all!
No trace
of evolution's flawed attempt to grace
me with an adaptive advantage to take on the world's harsh climate.
I admit,
this hair entangles me and strangles me,
it also oozes out of me like pimples from a pore,
a ***** to testosterone,
poor me - a victim of nature's masculinity.
What a hairy situation I've gotten myself in.
--
Femininity.
Its bestowed upon me by society.
When I sashay or say hey gurl hey,
society recognizes these things as girly and gay,
not a very masculine way to walk or talk.
Stereotypes about *** and gender are so easily manipulated.
Like a circus performer on the tight rope,
the suspense keeps people wondering where will I fall?
But hold me under a microscope and you will see it all,
a million molecules that makeup my femininity.
I wear skinny jeans and tank tops,
then get complimented on them by dude bros,
like yo that's tight- where'd you get it boss?
I bought it in the girl's section at Ross.
My toe nails painted and displayed for public view,
flip flops emboldened with matching turquoise hues,
Femininity is worn on me like a fabulous armor plate.
--
Fast forward to a fateful date during No-Shave November.
I remember,
growing out my ****** hair for the very first time,
I wore it like a mask,
portraying a fictional character who was masc-uline.
Bathing in manliness at this masquerade.
It was through this charade,
that I grew
... temporary happiness for me from all of you.
The compliments they poured in.
My once smooth canvas of a face,
waiting to be crafted into the Mona Lisa,
had been turned into an artistic masterpiece,
'Gay Man with Amnesia',
of who he used to be.
A painting of someone society wanted,
someone whose masculinity was outwardly flaunted.
But inside, I felt taunted,
each time they complimented
me and my newfound masculinity.
--
Then, it happened on Grindr,
a gay dating app.
This masculine mishap.
A stranger's message read, "I like that you look masculine."
It sounded even stranger in my head.
Their profile description read,
"Masc 4 Masc
Masculine man seeking other masculine men to hangout with."
That's when I felt it.
My mask had made me masc.
This particularly manic morning brought me to ask
myself in the bathroom mirror,
"Who the hell am I looking at?"
In sheer terror, I teared-up,
scanned the portrait of 'Gay Man with Amnesia',
and then decided to tear it up!
I grabbed my electric razor,
grum grum grummm
as these blades grazed my face and chin,
I was offered sweet, soft, porcelain skin - my absolution.
pause
heh heh
When I came to and snapped out of the amnesia,
eager to see results of this restorative procedure,
the mirror was fogged with steam and slop.
I tried logging in to my laptop's webcam,
for naught.
The ****** recognition feature -- didn't recognize me
... but finally, I did.
Once again, I see the man behind the masc-ulinity.
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 4:08 PM UTC
*My sweet teddy bear
and silky sun-kissed hair
Beyond fabulous!*
Mar 27, 2017
Mar 27, 2017 at 8:25 AM UTC
Little girls may be made
of sugar, spice, and
everything nice
but a true lady is made
of diamonds, sparkles, and
things that will make you shiver
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 3:36 AM UTC
You have imprinted all your memories here,
And now you do not have to at all fear.
You just tell me what and I will not just hear,
With all my soul I will always strive to listen.
You look beautiful in the night lamp dear,
For all the beads of your sweat will glisten.
You look gorgeous with those pearls there,
From your forehead they all are descended.
You appear youthful with those curls there,
Around your ears they all are so nicely coiled.
You appear deadly with those curvy eyes,
Lucky me I'll cherish their charms for lifelong.
You look fabulous with your lips quivering,
Even in my dreams I have not been luckier.
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 6:10 AM UTC
I would just like to announce that today I am officially two hundred days clean from cutting! :D
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 6:58 AM UTC
The thing I love about cats
Is that they can wear hats
I'd love them to wear spatz
But that would look ridiculous.
A cat in a hat
Dancing in spatz
Is the key to my happiness
Fancy that!
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 3:02 AM UTC