#expected
Most people get the benefit of the doubt
"Eventually they'll figure it out"
What the helll's that all about?
I'm expected to master it in an instant or I'm out
©2024
May 17, 2024
May 17, 2024 at 2:33 PM UTC
From the warm breath of bright light,
blue sky breaks through our dormancy.
Cool breeze still keeps on bare air,
whilst curved lines rise bound in time
to care for the meaning of life.
We're expected to expand or contract,
responding to vast constructs set upon us.
It's easy to forget measures of the present tense.
Stillness often corrects parallels to connect, as impulses bubble up to ****** inside the mind.
Characters unseen play amongst the set,
there are integrated games we gain but our existence is said to be simplistic.
Focus on your sense of self and betterment, less complicated within the riddles of preconditioning.
Here to give, win and begin again.
May 2, 2021
May 2, 2021 at 3:54 PM UTC
Arching to touch the ground.
A flexible object,
The tension fixing on the centering point.
A flexible object,
Pulled down at both ends.
A flexible object,
Waiting to stretch out.
A flexible object,
Snaps into two.
Sep 10, 2020
Sep 10, 2020 at 11:43 PM UTC
the world suffers with and without me
all things take shape in the way it was meant to be
my attachment to it could affect only me
it breaks me when I am apart from it
when I am not part of bigger things
and they surround me.
not included in movements
missing out on various moments
loss being heavy on me
and tasting the feeling of envy
I like and dislike this and that
but no one ask me of what I think
every one has thoughts of their own
and things are working out just fine.
a disconnected environment
in a deeply wired mess
nothing works as expected
more or less.
Jul 23, 2020
Jul 23, 2020 at 2:55 PM UTC
I adore you from afar
not expecting anything
Admiring you
is the sweetest inspiration
But a chance came,
you started to notice me
And one day
you message me out of nowhere
I feel butterflies in my stomach
and started to scream under my pillow
I can't suppress my emotions
and start telling it to my friends
But I've noticed
a lot of red flags
all over you
But still I like you
I still continue talking with you
even though I knew
that you will not like me
I still take the risk
And gave you my body
without any hesitation
And now I'm Just laughing at myself
Because I knew that it's it the only thing you will like about me.
And now you're gone.
...
Jul 13, 2020
Jul 13, 2020 at 9:32 AM UTC
I hate how people can change their minds
When you changed yours it changed both of our lives
Even though I had not changed mine
I never changed, and that's what hurts
Looking back now realizing you had hoped I would
Maybe you thought that I was unsure
Even though I told you exactly what I was looking for
Maybe you expected me to one day want a plan like yours
But I didn't
What a shame you put us in this position
Feb 18, 2020
Feb 18, 2020 at 2:29 PM UTC
a sunrise never promised you a sunset,
but you expected it anyway
as my skies turned gray immediately
in your disappointed eyes
© L.F.
Feb 2, 2020
Feb 2, 2020 at 1:31 PM UTC
Verse 1:
Our eyes meet
Feel the heat
Have to take a seat
For a beat
I can't speak
Can't even breathe
You sweetly sweep me
Off my feet completely
Weak in the knees
Can't help but stare at your back
Hoping you'll look up and stare at me back
I would approach you but I lack the tact
Fuckboys all that I attract
Does not take a genius to see that
Out of my league and that's a fact
Working up nerve to make some sort of sound
That exact instant you turn around
I tell by your smile you feel the butterflies flutter
In your gut
Get up
Put one foot in front of the other
Strut towards me
I am struck
Muscles melting like butter
Ask for a light
My voice is stuck
But I stutter
A muttered reply
****** up
Not even drunk or high
You ignite not just your cigarette
But a fire inside
Exciting sides of me I thought had died
I can't hide
Hook:
I'm a spacebound rocketship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
250,000 miles on a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you
Verse 2:
I finally feel like I have reason to live
Maybe an angel like you could forgive
For the things I couldn't give
For all of the dumb things I did
****
No joke
I tripped over you and fell
Too deep of water to swim so I flail
For a moment forget where I am and can't tell
Apart from copycats imitating well
Be exactly like us
They want to excel
In a phony heaven but life is really hell
Scream my color but the world is black and white
And backdrops move but you remain in my sight
But you found me alright
The truth in dead of night
Like a screenplay I might write
And for once get it right
Sitting there in front of me like I got my happy ending tonight
I felt simple for the first time in my over-complicated life
(Hook)
Verse 3:
Processing in your head what the **** I just said
Marriage is a concept way over your head
So you reject my proposal with a shake of your head
and break my heart as easily as you break communion bread
Walk all your good intentions out the door instead
If you don't want to spend your life with me you might as well be dead
Alas the long awaited impending end has arrived with dread
I grasp at missed chances but every last one has fled
My mind keeps on warping
How much more can it bend?
Till it finally is broken?
Hoping for days tears will end and peace will be awoken
I toss and leave my fears with you to keep as a token
Use silence because this time goodnight is better left unspoken
Bridge:
I should have never expected you to feel the same
I shall embrace the misery and face the constant pain
Escape from day to day sorrow and give in to the stress
While body sleeps my brain will fly away and reminisce
(Hook)
Dec 26, 2019
Dec 26, 2019 at 4:29 AM UTC
you said you'd never leave,
but even I know that sometimes
it rains when it's not supposed to
©L.F.
Aug 4, 2019
Aug 4, 2019 at 8:55 PM UTC
He is what he seems.
Covered screen. Left you on seen.
just like all the rest
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 9:05 PM UTC
Stranger, Stranger
Save me today
Please come to me, my love
okay
Stranger, Stranger
For once just stay
It's not fair I'll never get to say
At once some time I've not known you
Yet now we share a bond that's new
A crystallized informality
You've been ingrained into my memory
I saw the somber in your eyes
I could have made you feel alright
I sat silent, composed and shy
You'll never know me, to that I
sigh...
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 9:13 PM UTC
that's the problem with putting others first
you've taught them that you come second
if not, third
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 8, 2017 at 6:22 PM UTC
A new babe on the way,
Does she arrive today?
The stork is on standby,
Is she coming down the slide?
A star in heaven's berth,
Winging her way to Earth,
Now an atomic cluster,
Has she got a dust buster?
Her future unplanned,
Soon in Earthling's band,
When is she coming down the slide?
Right now, the stork is on standby!
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 11:14 PM UTC
I don't think I could acheive all my dreams if it weren't for you, The one I never expected. I would have feebly fought for them, pined for them, but I don't think I could have gotten myself to a place where I could get them on my fingertips.
I'm going to be an author. I finished a novel, I pushed past my wandering imagination and uncertainty because you made it easier to feel my bones. To do the things that are like breathing for me.
I have a lot of worry in my heart, I always have. I worry about not being good enough or going crazy or about your safety or about the future. I don't know if I've gone madder, but on the precipice of loneliness I am not terrified. I am only wishing us both the best.
I won't see you for four months. Alone that fact makes me miss you already. But I'm not scared about it. You want to build a life with me, and you of all people don't take statements like that lightly. You may be far away but you aren't leaving.
This is a time for both of us to get ready to be the people we want to be. You get to start getting your dreams together. I'm sure as hell going to do the same thing. I cannot wait to show you with my eager little smile how far I'll come in those months. I hope I floor you. I hope you'll love me more than ever. I'm sure I'll feel that way about you.
I don't think I'll ever be that girl who feels releived or settled about being married to the well-off, wicked smart guy. If anything your intelligence makes me feel I need to keep on pushing. I want to be just as rafiant and brilliant by your side, not seem like the lucky trophy wife with the ****
This summer will grow us. I hate to have us grow so much apart, but its how it is and we, ever adaptable and strong, will manage. I'm sure skype will be our ally.
But only with you, and I hope you feel similar with me, that we can be this grand together and have the sort of life that we could only dream of. We can have a life that neither of us never realized could be so insane and wonderful all at once without the other. I don't think I've ever been a better version of myself than I have with you. I'm stronger and I'm responsible and I'm willing to do stupid, crazy things to work towards all my hopes and dreams come true. I'm still so crazy but it doesn't matter to you. God, I ******* love you.
I cannot wait for the grand together life we will have. Only a few whiles until we get there. One summer, then some time together. Then my final semester as you get things ready in our new world and then...
Well then hopefully that grand together never needs to be forced apart again.
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 11, 2016 at 1:29 AM UTC
Winter seems to pull us together, doesn't it, love? Its as if the times things seem to want to pull us apart we get stronger.
Last winter, I gave you my heart, and you haven't left since. This year it seems my cautionary head, always so untrusting of itself and others, has decided of one certain thing: it wants to spend forever with you.
Its funny to me, how I never go all googlie-eyed as my high school friends always told me it would be. They would ooh and ah over some boy, and I'd always roll my eyes. I always thought such cooing was silly. Their bitter response was often that I didn't understand, and once I really loved someone I'd feel the same.
But now here I sit, more certain than anything that I love you more than anyone else. And you know what I'm doing? I'm not cooing, I'm not boasting of your infinite wonder. I'm not getting at all googlied-eyed.
I'm sitting here shaking my head, laughing to myself, as if to say ****
**** I did not know it would be like this. That you would be like this. That there could be rhythm and method to an unpredictable, spontaneous, messy relationship. That I would feel more connected and in sync with you than I feel adoration or reverence. You're not some hunky guy in third period, you're basically just the best tumor I've ever gotten attached to my hip. A tumor that I'm better off keeping.You make me better. And I, you.
They were right, I don't understand. But not because I don't how to love, its because that's not how I love. I love in nose kisses and **** grabs, in steamy texts and playful jabs at your brilliance. And yes, by god, you are brilliant. But I don't worship you. I just wish to be able to fall asleep to your face and stand by your side.
And those googlie-eyes are in no way how you love either. You don't rub my feet and call me princess. You kiss me hard and tickle my neck, read my writing and break me down when I'm irrational. But you do love me, still. You love me in the way that you try to understand and not be so stubborn. You love me in the way that you sing to me when I'm moody. And my favorite way you love me is the hand across the table when I'm fighting the tears I never want to let fall down my face.
Love isn't just about adoration and attraction and compatibility. Yes, we are attracted to each other, admire each other, and are compatible enough. But I guess our best asset is how stubborn we are to keep on loving each other that gets us through. And I think that's my favorite way we love each other entirely.
Maybe love works different for other people, and I'm fine with that. But these winters just seem to show me that we're different. We both know we've always been different. You're the lonely genius and I'm the unstable creative. But I help make you less lonely, and you help make me more stable.
And now I find it hard to picture a day without you.
So winter distance may keep us apart, but I think I've learned by now its going to take a lot more than a little distance to tear us apart. Or maybe its just the stubborn in me saying so.
Regardless, I hope the stubborn in you thinks so too.
Dec 31, 2015
Dec 31, 2015 at 2:58 AM UTC
Told them not to,
Said it hurt me when they did it,
Begged them not to,
Gave a speech even.
Though I never thought,
The most stubborn person i know,
Would want to do it,
She's hard to restrain.
But she promised,
And now she's got staetler ink on her wrist,
Lines of red,
Crosses,
The stitches.
Never thought her pain could get this real,
I care alot,
I try,
But she always hurts.
Never thought the speaker,
Would need a speech,
Never thought this girl,
Would be me.
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 3:56 PM UTC
I am darkness, I am fright
The deep blackness of the night
Nothing seen, nothing heard
Unpopular thoughts, my spoken words
Invisible until you feel my stab
Don't play games with me, I'm a match to be had
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 6:07 PM UTC
I'm still expected to turn,
And see your face,
Wherever I am,
Wherever you go,
Wherever you stand,
I'm still expected to think of you,
And what I did,
Reminded each and every day,
Of what I was expected to do,
To not do,
To be the perfect little girl,
Who loved,
Who cleaned,
Who was expected only speak when spoken to,
But what if I was expected to rebel?
To be the bad little girl that society wanted me to be?
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 12:31 PM UTC