#exbff
I’m not supposed to miss you, I shouldn’t. But how can I not when you were my best friend.. My everything, and now I’m nothing to you. Sometimes I swear I see you in front of me, with me, laughing, like we used to. Laughing over the most stupid stuff either of us had ever heard.. I remember that day when you told me that out of our group you felt like you were the “Last choice” and ever since that day I had favored you, went to you first, made sure you didn’t feel left out. But nothing is forever, I try my hardest not to cry, and to let you go.. To let you walk out of my life without even looking back. You said that you wish me the best, but is this what you wished for me..? Sadness and heartbreak? An empty feeling in my chest? I’m mad at myself for not reaching back out, apologizing and trying to make things right. But I’m scared of making things worse than they already are.. Scared of getting re-attached, just for you to leave once again.. So although I miss you more than anyone in the world, I’ll hide it, and spare myself the pain.. That way my injured heart doesn’t take another punch. Because I may not be able to handle it, one more punch and I might start bleeding out.. It’ll slowly puddle up beneath me, the puddle growing larger and larger.. As more and more blood comes out.. The blood reaches my hands and I pull my hand up to my face to look at it, my fingers and palm a dark red.. And as I’m staring at my hand, the blood drips down onto my shirt where a giant blood stain lays, and my vision blurs. The blood on my hands just a blob of red now.. Until finally.. Everything goes dark, and I’ve finally died. Except even in this abyss, I see your face.. Staring right back at me.. Is this what you wanted..?
Jan 21
Jan 21, 2026 at 8:51 PM UTC
I miss the way we smiled and the way we laughed like nothing else in the whole world mattered. I miss the way I went to you first for everything and now I walk past you like we don’t know each other. Like we were never friends in the first place. I remember our memories, and hours worth of calls.. We’d talk about everything.. What we wanted to do when we were older, the guys we liked, how we’d be friends “forever”. What I didn’t know was that none of that can be promised, because unexpectedly you can lose people.. And that scares me the most, I thought we’d be friends forever and now I'm wishing I still had them.. Wishing that things were better, like they were before. But now, all I can do is sit in my bedroom, my head leaned up against the wall as I sob, thinking about how every time I see you you look so happy.. Without me.. And I wonder if it was my fault, if that now that I’m gone they’re happier. That they’re better off without me because maybe all I brought them was pain..
Jan 21
Jan 21, 2026 at 8:48 PM UTC
You pulled your gun
But I'll pull the trigger
You thought I weak
I guess that's what you figured
You were big
But now I'm bigger
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 8:45 PM UTC