#exbestfriend
I heard you're talking to my name twin.
I saw it in your eyes
You think it's a win
I wish it was all lies
Hurt will cover me like a second skin
Maybe I won"t try
To make my name twin
Turn into me
Apr 7, 2025
Apr 7, 2025 at 7:57 PM UTC
I feel so much pain inside
knowing that you are married
I literally couldn't see
how horrible you were to me
because you would mask it
with fake kindness
and because as a women
I was more trained to see that coming
from a man than from someone who was a close friend to me
you met me at such a vulnerable hard period of my life
I had just moved to a foreign country
I met you at a shabbat meal
we bonded over food
at first when we met
I was so attracted to you
I thought you were so beautiful to me
because in those moments you were .
We would go out drinking and partying
and although you were the religious one
you would party harder than me
I remember how so many times you would
leave me for dead
when we were around strange men
in the bars
and I would beg you to stay
to not leave me
I was so drunk I could barely move
and you didn't care
you only cared about having fun
and not about me
so because of you I experineced
so much violence.
I remember how I cried in those stairwells
begging him to stop
how I felt robotic
how you left me all the time
while promising to come back
how you would treat me like dirt
leave me on red
and make up some excuses for why
you are a shtty human ...
now honestly ,
You never once said I am sorry
until I begged it out of you,
you would talk to my roommates
who bullied me viciously,
became their friends
and even rented that apartment
in that house after I moved out
I saw that you got married
and although I would like to feel happy for you
all I feel for you is so much hate anger
and so much immense pain
I don't know why it took me so long
to see how much of a horrible person you are
a wolf in sheep's clothing
and soon you will move back here
and if I ever do see you again
I would love to spit in your face
and say Fk You!
No more to letting people walk all over me
and do as they please
I don't wanna care about being liked anymore
I'd rather be myself be safe and be around those
who actually see for who I am
instead of using me
for their own jealous gain.
Many times the ones who are the worst
are the ones closest to you
that you can't even see
now I am learning to trust the subtle red flags that I feel
when I meet someone so I don't meet a person like you again.
Aug 16, 2023
Aug 16, 2023 at 6:30 PM UTC
two's a company
three's a crowd
but what if that crowd
was the most peace you've had?
three's a crowd
then two
then there was one
and years later you sit with nothing but the regret of growing up and growing without
nothing but the memories of love and closeness that you fear you'll never have in friends again
two's a company
three's a crowd
i'd rather drown in the masses
than drown in my solitude
Nov 12, 2022
Nov 12, 2022 at 12:32 PM UTC
Remember the times you caught me crying?
used to make up excuses when you won't stop prying.
I had no courage to tell you;
how many times I've doubted you.
Cause you meant more to me;
than any of my insecurities.
I was miserable, wasn't I?
used to vent out my feelings, didn't lie.
I loved him beyond limits, you knew;
the girls were fully aware too.
Maybe our bond wasn't strong,
or else I could've forgiven you.
Maybe the world didn't know,
how much I really tried to.
You had your reasons,
he was sad and depressed,
and you chose to go address;
leaving me in distress.
You called me your best friend,
then why did you hide it?
I was right there, a meter away from your bed.
You called me your best friend,
then how could you **** him?
in the same places, you knew I loved him.
You called me your best friend,
then how could you not know?
how deep a scar, your actions will carve.
Our bond was like a holy thread,
anything it could sustain,
cutting it once and tying a knot,
won't make it pure again.
Sister or sinister,
I am not sure anymore.
Friend or fiend,
perhaps you were both.
I wish I could lend a hand,
but it's harder for me to stand.
Roots that run so deep;
I had to fall to my knees.
You have many best friends,
so what if you lose one friend?
You made a choice and walked that path,
no good will come from seeking the past.
Look ahead, with no regret;
for I consider you, my kindest crook.
Jun 13, 2022
Jun 13, 2022 at 11:31 AM UTC
I finally got over you, and you came back.. why? Why all of a sudden you come back when I’m finally over you?! I was happy you came back, but I realized things are different now. I don’t need you anymore, you hurt me. I can’t go back to feeling that pain again.
Nov 12, 2021
Nov 12, 2021 at 1:47 AM UTC
sometimes when I miss you,
I put our song on play
as I build up the courage to open the drawer,
a drawer full of memories...
our memories.
f.t
Sep 19, 2020
Sep 19, 2020 at 5:47 AM UTC
Her sparkling smile hides her crooked mind
Although she was mad, she was not malice
Gaslighting and wicked games were of her kind
Last supper was fun, still have the chalice
Pandora, pandora, don’t open that box
Twisted thoughts tore and fused into my skin
A nightmare reality, or just a faux?
A virus that stays with me, just like kin
Words echoes I love to k!ll, I do not stop
Remorse is not usually in my blood
This is not a tale, she needs to be locked
A body in her hands turn grey, like mud
We are all wired to get a little mad
But, she is the most crazy girl I’ve met
Apr 19, 2020
Apr 19, 2020 at 8:19 PM UTC
i still check in on you after months of not having talked to you.
i'm still trying to break the habit of texting you after a really hard day.
people tell me about how you posted yourself crying on your story and i have to fight the urge to ask you if you need someone to rant to.
i miss talking to you and hearing about how your day was.
i miss you.
but i'm okay for now.
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 11:16 PM UTC
being alone makes me realize that i’ve never actually ‘dealt with it’
sure, i’ve had good days but when it comes down to it; i go to bed at night, and i think. i think about what we could’ve been if we never stopped. maybe i overreacted?
but then i remember, you’ve done nothing but backstab people. you’ve done nothing but hurt. i was nothing but good to you and you still repaid me with breaking my heart and my trust.
so **** you for ever making me happy and making me believe that you cared. because you never did, and that’s something i have to deal with.
Sep 2, 2019
Sep 2, 2019 at 12:11 AM UTC
i hope that one day i'll be able to say that i'm finally over you and the heartache that you caused and continue to make me feel
you treated me like **** even in my moments of weakness and the fact that it took such a toll on me that it made me want to change myself for some ******* like you makes me feel nothing but disappointment in myself
because fact of the matter is, you have never and will never deserve someone like me
and i can only hope that you get what you deserve.
Sep 1, 2019
Sep 1, 2019 at 11:59 PM UTC
I didn’t do right by her...
but she didn’t exactly do me right either.
Best case scenario—
we part as strangers
Mar 28, 2019
Mar 28, 2019 at 10:47 PM UTC
Though I love you,
I need to move on;
'cause you ain't here
for me, to hold on.
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 6:27 AM UTC
Pathetic.
That’s what I’d call you.
Just plain miserable
and manipulative.
You tricked me into giving you the world .
Deceived me into believing that you’d never do me *****
You blinded me by your lies
“Forget about them , you have me.”
But , I didn’t really have you ..
Did I ?
You took what you wanted .
You let me put you before myself .
But ?
I don’t even blame you .
Maybe if I would’ve been in your position ,
Being offered the world
And only being asked for friendship in return ..
Maybe then I would’ve robbed you of your trust .
And your love .
You were my best friend .
My ace ,
My platonic soulmate .
And I treated you as much .
But, what was I ?
To you ,
What was I ?
A personal tutor ?
Remember those last two essays that you just couldn’t get done ?
Who helped you ?
Who stayed up after an exhausting day at work ,
After having to bike home in the cold and rain ?
Just so you could pass and not worry.
Maybe , I was just a free ride .
Always taking you places ,
Always giving you the keys and letting you do whatever.
You filled the tank maybe twice
within a nine month period .
And I never once said anything .
Oh I got it , I was your ATM.
Whenever you needed money ,
I was glad to help .
Whether it was for an Uber so you could go to your volleyball tournament
Since your own “mother” couldn’t take you
Or whether it was for a Plan B because
YIKES
Your boyfriend didn’t know how to pull out .
Hm , I guess I was also a personal shopper .
Buying you clothes when I bought me some .
You didn’t wanna spend your money ?
That was fine .
I would spend mine
And you didn’t even have to ask.
I was everything except your friend
and that’s all I wanted to be .
I should’ve seen this coming .
I should have KNOWN .
Looking back
All I can see are the signs ,
Foreshadowing what was to come .
You started to change right in front of my own eyes
but I didn’t want to believe it .
Didn’t want to believe what I could clearly see .
You started to ignore me .
For days on end .
Living in the same house became something like a
Silent war .
Everyone against me .
Including you .
You started to disappear into your room .
There were no more lifetime movie marathons together .
No more staying up and goofing around together .
No more talking about any and everything together .
I lost you way before I knew I lost you
and that makes my heart ache
like a pre-existing bruise
getting hit over and over again .
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 7:42 PM UTC
eleven years down the drain,
no wonder i am in so much pain.
i move around and i know its hard,
but how come you never even sent me a card?
you say its my fault our friendship came to an end,
i move around too much how could we be friends?
now its clear i cared more,
i guess you left because you got bored.
what you don't understand is its hard on me too,
at least you get to keep the people you're close to.
it started with us never talking,
why wouldn't you answer?
you found a new bestfriend,
so i didn't matter.
she wore the shirt we had made with the pinky promise.
you deleted every picture with me in it,
you erased our friendship before it even ended.
were you trying to leave no trace of me?
because you succeeded.
i finally got blocked on every app that you had,
please tell me what did i do to be treated so bad?
you were supposed to grow old with me,
be my maid of honor.
now that i've lost you,
i've lost me too.
we grew up together,
there was never a me without you.
so when i lost you..
i lost me too.
who am i now?
who will i be?
i never thought you were capable of ending me..
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017 at 8:13 PM UTC
What if you
Are waiting for me
To speak to you
While I am waiting for you
To speak to me?
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 10:47 PM UTC
she's the type of girl
to give you your
favorite flowers
then stomp on
them before
handing them
to you
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 19, 2017 at 12:08 PM UTC
What's a best friend?
I hope one day I know the meaning of what a “best friend” is suppose to be.
One who won’t constantly scrutinize me.
One who will laugh with me and not at me.
One who will listen instead of interrupt.
***
Who will encourage me to do my best, because they have faith in what I can do.
And it’s a shame that I thought it’d be you.
You’re not right in your heart, and for that we should be apart.
Until you stop putting others down and turn your life around, I will be absent.
I could never speak to you and have your full understanding.
You have your herd of sheep, but I chose to stand up and create my own life to lead.
I’ve encouraged you before, but instead you choose to stay tied down to your bedroom floor.
It hurts to say “I love you”
because now I will be without you,
But it’s better to avoid making more of a mess and time to lay this “friendship” to rest.
I wish you nothing but the best.
Sep 15, 2017
Sep 15, 2017 at 4:24 PM UTC
Dear Ex-Best Friend,
Remember all the times we spent together,
everyday started with meeting before classes started because that was the only
time we could talk until lunch,
remember all the times we laughed so hard we cried?
Do you remember all the times we had to hold one another in times of the need
because we thought all we had was each other?
Yeah.. Me too.
We spent all the time in the world texting and calling each other.
Things changed a little since I got a boyfriend,
but I never replaced you.
You always had a special place in my heart, and I think you always knew that.
We drifted apart, like two boats at sea.
You switched back to the school you came from,
and it felt like my life had just sunk.
Suddenly I was all alone in the hallways,
Coming in to school was like hell,
Seeing the spot we used to stand in,
Occupied by another set of best friends,
Or maybe two high school sweethearts- Making out like there's no one around.
It was so lonely without you.
You seemed happier where you were though, and at that time, that was all that mattered to me.
I walked the hallways with a sad, sorrowful look.
Teachers frequently asked if I was sick, or if I needed to lay down.
Suddenly I was that one kid that everyone wanted to pick and beat on. (Again.)
I was incredibly lonely at school, I couldn't even sit with anyone at lunch because I was so hated by so many people for reasons I didn't even know.
Come upon my junior year I got a month and a half into the school year before
I switched to the school that you went to.
I was reunited with my best friend,
Life seemed so good.
I was with my boyfriend, and my bestfriend.
It felt like nothing could stop me from gaining happiness.
You began going through boyfriends,
They would come,
and they would go.
I was put second to all of them.
There were days I was so depressed I didn't function correctly,
and all we would talk about is what you and your boyfriend did the previous night.
I was so happy that you were happy,
but I think I forgot the definition of "Happiness."
Everyday was full of being ignored and having guys' push past me so they could hug you while I sat in the sideline just waiting there, tears filling in my eyes because I realized that I wasn't significant to my best friend any more.
I couldn't help but wonder what I did wrong.
I got tired of feeling this way,
I grew up, and realized that highschool isn't meant for gaining the love and affection of people.
I proceeded to end the friendship because it wasn't making me happy anymore.
I understand that a true friend stays there through everything but in no way, shape, or form did I deserve to be kicked to the curb like a diseased puppy.
It hurt, It hurt like a *****
But ultimately , I'm gonna be okay in the end.
And I hope she ends up okay, too.
But, just be okay without me.
May 25, 2017
May 25, 2017 at 8:30 AM UTC
Now you're doing the things that we once did with someone else and I'm not okay with it. I told myself I'd never allow regret to seep into my mind and I still haven't but I'm feeling sad because of everything we built time and time again that I had to throw into the trash because of the things that you said and did. I hope it was worth it for you, obviously you've moved on without tears or pain while I am the one floating in the sea of disdain. You'll always be the friend I tried so hard not to give up on.
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 8, 2015 at 6:33 AM UTC
I will never forgive you for anything that you did
you made everything about you and denied it
it was always what I had done to you
you were never in the wrong
and because of it all
we no longer talk
I hope that
you think
it was
worth
it
because I'm conjured up in a storm because of it.
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 8, 2015 at 6:29 AM UTC
Just like the song that we sang on the top of our lungs together.
"And just maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me".
And at the end you really did save me, you were the net to my fall.
I know I saved you as well, you use to say that you didn't feel so small.
But that's not all.
On your saddest days when there was no hope to be found.
I reminded you that I would always stick around.
I told you that you had an artist style.
That always make you smile.
But that took a while.
Although you called me your best friend.
You treated me like I was dead.
It was as if the softest silk was suddenly sand paper.
I didn't understand what you wanted me to do.
I cared the most of all the people you knew.
But when I skipped school on Monday.
Because I felt sick to my stomach thinking about it.
That very night I wrote the letter.
The letter that took until 1am because I kept crying on the paper.
The letter that broke our friendship apart.
Tuesday, April 21. Our friendship was over.
I handed you the letter and I walked away.
I regretted the moment I did so.
I wanted to walk back and say sorry.
I'm sorry, Wonderwall.
It's been over a month since we've talked.
I heard you haven't been your best.
I hope you know you can always come to me.
But you probably hate me anyways.
I hope you find peace Hayley, I'm sorry.
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 2:44 AM UTC