#emoticonsulate
I think I fell in love again, the other day
Because I can't stop thinking
about the way his fingers felt
as they brushed my skin
in that mindless, simple way of his
and I feel guilty for liking it
I think I fell in love again, the other day
Because the thought of his smile
makes me feel like I am made of sparklers
shining inside
where before there had been darkness
that I embraced
I think I fell in love again, the other day
Because my stomach feels like
its tying itself in knots
when I think about how temporary it was
how it felt like a moment of peace
carved out of a carcass of wartime
I think I fell in love again, the other day
And I'm terrified
because somewhere between you and him
between the doubts and the accusations
between holding hands and daydreaming
between not yelling and screaming on the inside
between memorizing your features and watching you leave
I found myself thinking that my love isn't good enough
and I struggle to drag my self worth up the mountain I threw it down for you
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014 at 1:22 PM UTC
I.
It feels like the moment
Just before a roller coaster
Drop.
Front seat, eyes wide,
But the weight of the cars behind
Gives you the time to recognize
There's no going back.
II.
The mix of almost fear,
adrenaline and excitement
was enough to take
ancient armies to war
and cause feuds that destroyed
whole civilizations.
III.
Here's you.
Sitting, Watching, Knowing.
Opening your mouth
Wide, Wider,
Sheer terror in your veins
Lifting your hands in the air.
IV.
Given the chance,
You'd do this every day
For the rest of your life.
Jul 12, 2014
Jul 12, 2014 at 9:29 AM UTC
Like chocolate cake
but sweeter, somehow
though it isn’t cake at all
like sharing icing with your best friends
Like sugared oranges
sticky and saccharine
too sweet to be healthy
but so satisfying to eat til you’re sick
Like a cavity after orajel
the pain numb
but the taste as well
better, not worse, and quickly getting used to it
Like dancing in the rain
your ears deaf to shouts
of those who tell you
to go inside and dry off
because you’re happy here.
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 8:07 AM UTC
it tastes like bile in the back of your throat
feels like tears stinging behind your eyes
like a migraine just beginning
like a high pitched whine at the highest volume
it seeps into things unrelated
tinting your favorite colors
flavoring your favorite foods
putting white noise in all your favorite songs
it leaks onto your friendships
staining arms after hugs
leaving laughs polluted
reflecting in eyes that’d trust you with anything
it screams at it wins
the sound one of terrifying joy
“burn!” it commands
but you are made of stone and mortar
it fills your chest with unease
your fingertips with trembles
your mind with final conclusions
your lips with lies that taste like sugar
“I don’t” but you don’t mean that
“I don’t want” but you do
“I can’t” but you can
“I won’t” but you will.
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 12:14 PM UTC
Mud
The sort that slips between your toes
and fingers
that cakes your clothing
and leaves all things
unclean
Worms
that you dodge after a rainstorm
walking the whole way
on your toes
as to not crush them
but the sickening slick sound
of inevitably misstepping
and killing one anyway
Rain
that covers you from head to toe
that steals the heat of your body
and gives it to the unforgiving air
that rebirthing metaphor
that doesn’t seem to be working
Thunder
but in the distance
none of the power that threatens
none of the shaking terror
just a memory of something
lost
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 12:04 PM UTC
Like falling to the earth, your wings aflame
but realizing that it isn't fear you're feeling
Like trying to keep yourself in perfect balance
but tempted, sorely tempted, to let go
Like telling yourself not to fly too close to the sun
but loving the way the burn cleanses
Like telling yourself not to fly too close to the waves
but tasting freedom in salty sea air
Like the moment when you realize you will fall
but accepting the inevitable with a smile
Like the spiraling decent toward your fate
but it feels like a roller coaster
Like the squeak and complaint of gears
this contraption wasn't made for this
Like a father's cry of complete horror
but weren't we aiming for escape?
Like the fear and attempt of saving your life
but don't martyrs die for freedom?
Like the scream of pure delight ripped from your smile
A trail of feathers all that remains of your inhibition
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014 at 8:52 AM UTC
Today, it rained
The liquid poured from the sky
As if the gods were screaming
Yelling their triumph from the heavens
And showering their domain
in the blood of nonbelievers
Today, it poured
The sound of rain on the library roof
is something of a dull roar
Like the sound of a Roman crowd
screaming for their champion
as they face the beast from below
Like the sound of sword on shield
the repeated beat of boots on ground
of smiles red with blood
and faces lined with sweat.
Like the sound of tire on pavement
of speed unchecked and controlled
of a kiss on the lips and a tangling of breath
of lightning forking through the sky
Like the feeling of feeling again
Of numbness washed away
Of loneliness swirling in a drain
Of the rebirth of Peebles, Kay
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 11:56 AM UTC
Like taking a deep breath
Clean cold oxygen
Clear of pollution
Where before you had known only
CO2 and smoke
Like smiling for the first time
Not for any person
Not for friends or family
Not for teachers or mentors
but for yourself
Like opening your eyes
For where before
You had known only darkness
You realize there had
Always been light
Like spreading your arms
Feeling nothing but cool wind
Crisp against tender skin
But rising off the ground
And taking flight
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 9:17 AM UTC
It feels like seeing chocolate cake
And when no one's looking
Swiping a finger across
Like icing in your mouth
And a glance to see if anyone saw
Sugar on your tongue
Like the little smear on your lip
No one wants to comprehend
But everyone sees
Like slowly, carefully
Licking it off your fingers
In full view of the world
Like smiling widely
Knowing no one knows
Your mouth still tasting of it
Like sitting patiently
Hands folded in innocence
Waiting for your own slice of cake
Like getting your piece last
But having it taste of
Going back for seconds
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 11:59 AM UTC
It feels like holding your breath
until your lungs ache and your ribs creak
because your heart is beating so fast
complaining for lack of oxygen
but you won't
you won't breathe
who cares if it hurts?
who cares if your throat burns
and your eyes water?
for even water is part oxygen
and perhaps the pain would stop
if you inhale
and find two parts hydrogen as well.
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 12:07 PM UTC
Like an explosion in reverse
First there was everything
Chaos, Misconduct,
Eyes wide and mouth gaping
And now
Nothing
Like the universe
Expanding, Expanding
But suddenly you learn
It could be as big as a marble
To some other being
Insignificant
Like walking backward
Through months and years
Through friendships and hatreds
Through love and *** and tangled fingers
Until you're standing at the start
Alone
Like spreading your arms
And finding out they're folded still
You've closed them without noticing
And can't find the release
Like the budding of a sad smile
In reverse
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 11:54 AM UTC