#dontdoit
*
You are the reason I fell in love with the light.
You are the reason I sought a way out of the darkness.
You are the reason I stayed.
*
Apr 23, 2021
Apr 23, 2021 at 1:19 AM UTC
Life is hard
There is always something to live for
Please don’t give up!
Keep fighting
Things will get better
But if I forget that
I want you to remember
Because I hate myself
But I want to you to be okay.
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 9:56 PM UTC
I have a Magic trick for you.
It’s quite simple, I assure you.
But,
I paint with Silver.
And it comes out Red.
Magic.
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 12:40 PM UTC
You're great but...
Do you have a guy in your life?
That little voice in your mind is saying
Give in
Give in to the perpetual mindset of equating success to a prospective man in my life
But why?
Have you ever thought that the men in our lives are not the problem?
Stopped to think that maybe it's our fault that women constantly feel the pressure to enter relationships?
Solve my oh-so-sad single status?
No thank you, I think I'm good.
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 11:36 PM UTC
"Too suicidy?", she asked,
(as if there were gradations)
The cosmic existential choice
Will cross my mind quite often,
But mostly when I'm overwhelmed
By those slings and arrows Hamlet mentions
Though fortune is sometimes with me and sometimes against me,
It is outrageous, ...always.
The temptation presupposes a never ending rest...
And whether or not "rest" is an accurate description of death,
It amounts to a self-perception of laziness...
and so I would not base the choice to continue existing
On whether or not 'tis noble but on whether or not it's ideal.
And if I consider the specifics and various methods ...and especially the fallout...
It is less than ideal.
Plus all the birds and spiders
Would miss their bard.
Aug 9, 2017
Aug 9, 2017 at 9:29 AM UTC
I had the Needle in my arm,but couldn't take the Plunge,
Like a Fencer Poised to do some harm,but somehow couldn't make the Lunge,
my life has gone to **** lately to be honest fellow chasers of the Muse,
so I started Chasing Dragons amongst other systems of abuse,
I made a new pal! Sal,my Dealer,what a Pal that Sal!,
he told me I was wasting time with Tinfoil,Lighter and all...
So I got my instructions (Safety first use clean gear!),
and Needle in vein,Thumb Poised I heard a whisper in my ear,
it said
**Life's not so bad,compare yourself to millions without food,
or clean water or a future,or the horror of abuse** ,
so with a Sting of shame I pulled the Stinger out and snapped the Wasp in half in disgust,
pulled out the rest of my stash and it duly got Flushed.
so that's why you haven't seen me lately Hello Poetry,sorry pals!...
and there's a poster up looking for a missing Scumbag name of Sal
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 13, 2016 at 4:05 PM UTC
sometimes the feeling of being alone and empty within yourself is enough to make you want to **** yourself. it's like being trapped in a hole, isolated from the world and you lack the will to climb out on your own. you stay in the hole for hours, days, weeks, and eventually the feeling of being alive crushes your spirit until you can't exist anymore because of how painful the suffering of silence and routine grind your soul and will into nothing.
you stop feeling excited for things. you can't bear to stay awake for birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays. the days feel like they're going too slow to handle anymore. so, you walk out of the confines of your room and to the bathroom. you take a blade to the wrist while the shower runs to hide the choking sobs that come out from your mouth, so your mother doesn't hear. everything is red.
you watch it flow down the drain. that's you, that's part of you. the part of you that you wish would leave your body entirely. the struggle between appearing okay and forcing yourself to believe the same is impossible. you leave the bathroom, ashamed, numb, and still considering what could possibly stop the pain that nothing seems to help. you lay in bed and the wall you've shared a gaze with countless hours on many sleepless nights stares back at you in total silence.
you fall asleep, and you wake up at 6am before your parents are even awake. you tell yourself that this is the today it all ends. you walk to the bathroom, trying to avoid the spots on the floor that make a creaking noise, so you don't wake your sleeping parents. you hold the blade to your wrist. one cut, two cuts, ten cuts, then forty. forty seven. you look down. **** you hit a vein. there's blood on the floor, and you grip the bathroom sink with your hands to keep yourself from passing out. you open your mouth to call out the words "mom! dad!, but it's too late. everything goes black.
you realize you've already accomplished exactly what you've wanted, or was it? you expect to see your life flash before your eyes but instead there is only a sharp pain, labored breathing, and the fading away of everything "you" were. they'll say 'if only we paid more attention', 'if we just noticed the signs' but you were the best at pretending and no one could've predicted the vast amount of nothingness inside of you that you were desperate to get away from. it is the end of you, all that's left are fuzzy memories and possessions from better days. you aren't free, love, you're just gone.
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 10:13 PM UTC