#distraught
Tired, and an aching body,
I wish to go back home.
Far from this world of hate,
Into my own dome.
"Take me with you!"
I divulge my intentions to you.
Towards home, I wish to go
Where the floor is green, and my ceilings' blue.
The air is warm there,
You can see yourself in a glass.
My home is a world of my own,
Where I am tied to no leash.
'Twas an odd plea,
My journey had halted long ago.
I was pulled into this dreamless world—
Towards my home, I wish to go.
Oct 25, 2025
Oct 25, 2025 at 8:36 AM UTC
the swan's head fell in a collapsing tangent.
the swan couldn't keep it held, couldn't bear stick the feathers nobody believed to weigh a tonne of bricks.
the swan cared all too much, couldn't blend reality with the song of bliss the crows hissed of.
the swan mustered to persevere,
blazing nature's matrons music ear to ear
the swan saw leaves fall as autumn made it's seasonal call,
would you ever guess - the swan blamed only itself.
for the earthly demise wields a beautiful disguise.
the swan named fallacy would never see,
for fall's weight fell into every atom in it's tragedy.
the swan felt death in layers of travesty each sacred hour,
the swan revered the crows and deer, the sea's flows and freer galaxies,
condemned to the fragile atonement of mortality's unutterable catastrophe.
Jul 7, 2025
Jul 7, 2025 at 10:09 PM UTC
There is a deep empty space inside of me
which no one wishes to understand
My tears are a monument to them
My strife and toil is their eternal bliss
quietly forgotten I sink deeper
I never wished to be this way It was none of my choice
to be an off **** in your field of flowering blossoms
soon to be snuffed out and forgotten in the amber
dust to dust ashes to ashes
overlooked and unwanted unneeded and unhelpful
A deep stain in the linen needing only to be removed
When will I be set free? When will it end?
There is nothing left for me here. There never was
and there never will be.
Jul 2, 2025
Jul 2, 2025 at 10:52 PM UTC
I wish I could expell
This wild beast from my chest,
This bottomless well,
Merciless tempest.
.
It roars and screams
For things it can't get:
Insubstantial dreams,
Uncollected debt.
.
And it isn't fair
That efforts mean naught;
When all is laid bare -
Love can't be bought.
.
I long and I ache,
At the mercy of fate,
Its give and take,
The cruelest bait.
.
The suffocating need
To not be alone,
Unrelenting greed,
Scathing to the bone.
.
It rakes its claws deep
Through my ribcage,
Makes me weep,
Helpless with rage.
.
Its loathsome fury,
Feral with want,
My judge and jury,
Inescapable haunt.
.
And it makes me think
That it's you I'm missing,
But it's really that link,
That has me reminiscing.
.
And I tried with such ardor
To find it once more,
But it's getting harder,
And my soul is sore.
.
Tired of hoping
And letdowns, in vain,
Tired of coping
With this constant pain.
.
If I were not godless
Surely I would pray
To finally convalesce,
To just get away.
.
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 3:32 PM UTC
Enjoy the mocking tick after tock from the clock as the hands race monotony just to land on a preoccupied spot, no over shot
Reality not taught, reason is a subplot, lost in translation was the caveat, what's the grand plan for this life span time forgot
Avoiding deaths cousin, the sandman, only shortened the journey to the grand finale at the bottom of a grave plot, a hateful fate fought
Thought I ought not move to avoid falling through the bottom of all rock bottoms due to the dry rot, a quicksand sandbox in back of Salems lot
Rescue or recovery a long shot, no one within earshot but there's an onslaught of inner dialogue piercing the void like the scream of a red hot teapot
As is common with the distraught I sought help from the cold embrace of a slipknot that grew taut through the progression of this thrown together plot of a should've been cancelled pilot
Don't ask me what I see in this blind study of an inkblot, any sanity you got would crumble if caught up in the web of nightmare fuel my own mind went ahead and brought
Forced to boycott my being, can't connect good story lines, lost a dot, popped a squat in a thousand watt recliner like a pre-programmed self destruct robot
Self-preservation an afterthought, miles out to sea before I realized I've not yet bought a yacht, treading water in a tough spot
Messed around and got so high I got caught in the sky like a drifting astronaut lost in space, tethered to a dead cosmonaut
A crackpot juggernaut of supreme disappointment, walk the walk and take a potshot at a what not to do mascot
Cross my i's and dot t's with the underutilized comic sans faunt that don't nobody want, awoken by the taunt of a witching hour haunt
"Fuuck the record and fuuck the people!" like you heard from Snot, you'll probably be hearing it from me a lot
Before I become a forget-me-not long forgot but go or stay, either way, still dangerous as a traveling blood clot
The good fight was not fought, this life was not sought, everyone seems to have it together, I'm the biggest have not on the block
Do with that what you will, I'm going on a long walk down a short dock with a giant rock in each sock
Then the plan is to mock god to his face and see the shock on his face as I say I could do better and see if I get the morning stars spot
I mean, why not? It's worth a shot
©2023
May 10, 2023
May 10, 2023 at 6:45 PM UTC
I keep trying to live right
But then I'm faced with things that just bite.
I can't remember a time I was actually happy
Because of my accident that destroyed me physically, mentally and financially.
The guy didn't even have insurance, leaving me to seek out other compensation
It is all such BS and I'm left with all this frustration
Hospital bills just keep piling up because of his choice to drink and drive
Due to his idiocy his girlfriend isn't even alive.
And I was left with a broken leg and arm and collapsed lung
Leaving me bitter and the opposite of highstrung.
No one wants to financially help me
even with me promising to pay them back indefinitely.
It just gets to me every once in awhile
Like is there no one that can grant me a smile.
I wish I could get a 'restart my life' card
Everything I'm going through: it's just so hard
Aug 15, 2021
Aug 15, 2021 at 2:56 PM UTC
Pain I can take,
It's just nerves firing when all is said and done,
A few tiny tiny electrical impulses
Advising of damage or of hurt,
If it's not my head then
I can grasp it and isolate it and mitigate it
And bring the problem under control,
Mostly and more often than not,
Even a heart attack did not
Preclude a presentation duly prepared,
Albeit quieter and more hesitantly delivered
Than my usual confidence,
But the turning of friend
To unreasoning and un-listening foe,
This thing cannot be grasped nor quenched,
Even by a horse sized aspirin,
It leaves ones heart
Pierced with a jagged blade
That rips and tears a hole beyond
Imagining or control,
Faith and care and love
Hemorrhage uncontrolled
Like the tears that course down my face,
Or will if I permit,
The pain I cannot contain
But stoicism is my friend
This day and stoicism
Will stem the flow
Eventually
Jan 5, 2021
Jan 5, 2021 at 5:05 PM UTC
day by day enduring mental and physical pain
what does it feel like to lose yourself?
what does it feel like to lose your mind?
feeling breathless and not able to think straight
hyperventilate and feeling pain in your chest
your heart starts to feel pain as well
worried that you won't be able to carry on
even for days to come
Sep 19, 2019
Sep 19, 2019 at 10:48 PM UTC
Piercing eyes
pale white gowns,
furrowed brow's
big bright crowns,
horizontal smiles
across floor to ceiling paintings
limp of emotion,
distraught in sepia
color at rest,
mildew in the teeth
callous on the tongue,
nails in the feet
dragging dead weight,
wrapped in burlap
tied in loose ribbon,
clammy cold hands
only for the given,
dilated.
red in the face
angry with a fist
distraught in the heart,
spliced across the wrist.
Aug 23, 2019
Aug 23, 2019 at 6:34 PM UTC
It's not fair.
You were the best thing.
That ever happened to me.
You believed in me.
Like nobody else.
You supported me.
Like nobody else.
You loved me.
Like nobody else.
You were the best person I knew.
That I'll never get to see again.
It's not fair.
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 12:25 PM UTC
my heart is a warzone,
and you invaded just so you could attack.
you were never careful about how you treated me,
you just wanted to cause as much destruction as you could and then retreat.
but i will soldier on,
pretending everything is okay,
although the scorched earth around me is crumbling and burning.
but everything is okay,
its okay.
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 5:30 PM UTC
your fire still burns in my heart
my lungs are gasping for your air
i mourn the loss of you
vulnerably and emotionally
i scream in agony as i think of us
my heart belts hymns of you
you were always so concerned about hurting me
because you knew that one day you would rip my heart apart
and leave me too broken to be fixed by anyone else
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 8:17 PM UTC
Authenticate, Assauge, Attest
We never let it rest.
Berate Beget defeat
Yet does one not follow like sheep?
Cycles of Servile Sentiment,
Does one Debate, Detest?
Endure, Endow till End
Never to Negate; its best
Break
this chain — its best
To learn to be your best,
It’s best
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 10:50 AM UTC
anger
so much anger
more and more
anger.
-so-
I
become,
RAGE
. . .the supply appears to be unlimited.
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 11:50 PM UTC
When every pristine picture
With every serene scent
Alongside the most melodic melodies
Joined by teasing, titillating touches
Converge along one path,
Each from a different den
Behold, four fearsome horsemen
Galloping faster than the most energized dart
Towards one defenseless unsuspecting heart
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 4, 2018 at 9:49 PM UTC
I sigh for the many awash in despair
My attitude attuned in a devil may care
All clamoring for Poe not knowing of Baudelaire
Or that Ovid’s Bleak Black books of exile are out there
Content to coil in their own content of the unfair
Not understanding that Depression’s hosting a centuries long fair
So rejoice for others have long paid the fare
And like starlight from afar your suffering is fair
And through artistic labor, you set tables of tantalizing fare
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 12, 2018 at 10:33 PM UTC
This heavy feeling in my chest sinks
while eyes like wells swell and stream down in streaks
I lay awakened in the darkness
as it wraps around my sudden sadness
It holds me here, constricted;
by my own self I am convicted
to this cell, a hell I call home,
the only place I have ever roamed
The ghost of my past haunts me,
a never-ending reminder of what once was and what could be
Lost: in space, in time, in thought
I am the forgotten and distraught
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 4:31 PM UTC
Emotions running deep,
Like stairs entirely too steep;
I climbed.
My legs grew weak.
With shaky limbs,
I progressed.
A tunnel of hate
Dark and unforgiving;
I carried on.
Mountains of memories
Standing tall;
I shuffled onward.
A vast sea of guilt;
I sank.
For I cannot swim.
Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014 at 6:51 PM UTC
you say i'm running away
but...
it's just the momentum from you pushing
Aug 18, 2017
Aug 18, 2017 at 1:49 PM UTC
It's okay I'm used to it
She broke my heart and doesn't give a ****
I wish I could rewind time
Return to a time when everything was fine
Before I ever met her
Before we ever had each other
Before she pretended to love me
Now I know she never did, not entirely.
Being mixed up in her world made me do things
Something that can't be recognized through just feelings
She made me start to cut my arm
Never did I think I'd commit to self harm
Self harm coming from experiencing a heartbreak
A heartbreak from that stupid *** snake
I'm so completely done with this ****
But it's okay, I'm used to it.
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 26, 2017 at 6:29 PM UTC
I used to think we'd be together forever
That we'd never leave each other
Guess that was all just wishful thinking
Just something of a fling
All the love I invested in that relationship
Was just cut; snip, snip.
You said it wasn't me
I just don't believe you gamertag 'FRIGGY'
I was beginning to feel happy again
Until you stomped on my heart basically saying, I don't love you Ben.
You were someone that I used to adore
But now what we had is No More.
Jul 16, 2017
Jul 16, 2017 at 10:13 PM UTC