#disappearance
disparition
I open my eyes, awakened
by the weight of the hole
left in the middle of my chest
extermination
Gone it must be, they said.
So the scythe is wielded;
The air reeks of the rusted metal.
exhaustion
Now, let us sing our song again,
and pretend the night is still young —
A moment passed is just a second passed.
Apr 15
Apr 15, 2026 at 6:50 AM UTC
There once was a man
born unregistered,
innately invisible,
vanishing without effort.
He carried a greatness
no eye could confirm.
To be seen
became the trick.
So he learned the hands,
the angles,
the borrowed light.
He made spectacle
of absence.
“Unseen greatness,”
he called it,
and the lie applauded.
Visibility came
the way it always does:
through sleight,
through noise,
through being less true
than convincing.
When the tricks thinned,
nothing remained
but the motion.
No act left to perform.
No audience to fool.
He didn't disappear then.
He stopped lying
and was gone.
The Most Honest Vanishing Act
Jan 23
Jan 23, 2026 at 2:35 PM UTC
i ask him
what’s wrong
i tell him i’m here
that i will always support him
and the silence stretches
like fabric
thinned by too many washes,
too many wears
i say
i want to be there
but maybe the door is locked
or maybe it’s not a door at all
just a wall
painted to look like one
sometimes
i feel like a ghost in his world
hovering,
wishing he’d see me
noticing how often i check
if he saw
if he’s there
if i still matter
funny
how love turns your ribs into cages
and makes you ask questions
you hate yourself for asking
like
does he think of someone else
does he laugh harder
with someone else
does he hold
someone else closer
even when no one is touching him
does someone else make him
the happiest boy
he once said
i was too much
too close
too everything
and i try to be less
to shrink,
to vanish at the right times
but it still hurts
when he disappears before i do
there are gaps in our messages
and i read them
like tea leaves,
like grief,
like maybe he’s just tired
or maybe he’s tired of me
but still
i would sit in silence forever
if it meant he didn’t have to hurt alone
if it made him
the happiest boy
and i would leave his life
you know,
i would go in a breath
if it made him
the happiest boy
if it meant
he wouldn’t feel the way he does now
whatever way that is
whatever ache he won’t name
but i wish he’d let me stay
and i wish he’d tell me
and i wish i knew
whether i’m still
someone he’d wish to stay too
because even through all this
he is still the one
i would choose to care for
over and over again
even if it leaves me
nowhere at all
Jun 5, 2025
Jun 5, 2025 at 11:44 AM UTC
Once, I knew the name I bore,
wrote it bold on every door.
Now, the letters slip like sand,
fading soft beneath my hand.
My laughter echoes, strange and thin,
a song that doesn’t sound like skin.
My dreams grow pale, my voice runs cold,
a story lost, a tale untold.
I am the waves against the stone,
slowly worn and left alone.
A whisper lost, a shadow worn—
a being half, a self outworn.
Feb 21, 2025
Feb 21, 2025 at 3:02 PM UTC
~
The boys of summer.
Johnny once sat under the bleachers, the scar on his tongue, a reminder of the time he bit it after falling from a treehouse. A sack full of yesterday's news in a red wagon, the first and last clues.
Eugene ... the other kid who dropped out of sight on Sunday morning, now the evening edition; now a black spot on the sun.
Why the two-year gap?
Departures and landfalls. But no explanations.
Mom and Dad never comfortable peering into the camera lens. Big brother breathing out vapors until something sparks and all
the old questions came back.
A detective's paradox. No bone. No fragment. No evidence. In his home garage hangs a poster of Eugene to remind him every day.
-- for Johnny Gosch and Eugene Martin
~
Feb 2, 2025
Feb 2, 2025 at 10:43 AM UTC
Two strangers,
met by chance,
stealing glances.
A warmth lingered,
but vanished
as soon as it appeared.
Jan 23, 2025
Jan 23, 2025 at 12:47 AM UTC
My world is being *****
into
a residential park.
My great-grandfather's land
has been filled with concrete
and the roof
that my grandparents covered
has been torn down.
The swing
that the father built for the daughters
has long been rotting
with dead dogs
in the dung heap
that will soon be a parking lot.
And then there is nothing.
And nobody.
Dec 6, 2024
Dec 6, 2024 at 2:52 PM UTC
I don't want to be seen,
yet I wish for someone
to finally really see me.
I don't want to be heard,
yet I wish for someone
to finally listen to me.
I don't want to feel,
yet I wish for someone
or something
to finally make me feel.
I don't want to exist,
yet I wish for someone
or something
to finally make me want to.
Maybe I have to be that someone.
Or something.
May 7, 2023
May 7, 2023 at 5:34 PM UTC
let me pause
these daydreams,
and wake up to a reality
where it was never as it seems,
and you were never there to begin
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 11:29 PM UTC
I talk a lot about motion,
like I know a thing of progress.
Drop of water in the ocean.
Beautiful ripples of tragedy,
of comedy.
Nothing to it,
that's what we know.
We all know
the words and we go:
Tear into space,
terraforming,
ISO: a meaning higher than
all the lies we spin, just to gravitate.
I talk a lot about language,
communication's importance.
Did you know I only know one?
So, holy **** I'm an *******
Nothing to it,
that's what we know.
Developed
world depressives, go:
Tear into space,
terraforming,
ISO: a meaning higher than
all the lies we spin, just to gravitate.
We all go
to return
to one place.
We all shoot the farthest we've ever shot,
just to realize we're separate by margins
drawn by logos and emotion --
nothing to come will be made of much
but those two things, because
escape would be improbable.
(becomeasgodsbecomeasgodsbecomeasgods)
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018 at 7:27 PM UTC
It's taking everything I’ve ever had,
not to crawl into the crevice between your arm and hip.
I want seep inside of you
and live with you,
like the parasite I am.
I’ve bribed to God to make you love me,
And bargained away my future sins.
I want to forget the golden retriever
You took on walks longer than our **********
And the way your body writhed beneath my touch
Like a body bracing for a car-crash,
And how with every kiss
I could feel your rigor mortis set in.
I want to read you poems about Kurt Cobain,
While we do ******* at midnight in Golden Gate Park.
And watch you have a visceral reaction
To the memories
Of the times you tasted someone else’s skin.
Instead I’ll
dye my hair black,
Cancel all my credit cards,
And run away to Chicago
to Cheapen myself
and reek of Popov
In a dive bar next to the railroad,
That no one’s heard of
so you can tell strangers
in the subway
and at the New Year’s party,
(at which you’ll meet your wife)
how much I’ve always meant to you
and how
You will always wonder what happened to me
(Even though
you won't.)
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 11:18 PM UTC
Isn’t it strange
That the ones who inspire me
Love not poetry.
So shrug when I weave my rhymes,
So nod to sleep as my words chimes,
To them, words are soundless mayhems.
Why not think in sensible terms,
The bridges, the trains, and the spaceship to the moon,
It wasn’t art in the living things,
It’s the mechanism of human beings.
Heed this then.
Metal gears shall fray,
Numbers may betray
Theories rust away before eyes,
The Circle turns to its tail and dies.
Then tangent to my heart,
Where statistics cannot lie,
There once was a me
And once was a you.
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 12:02 AM UTC
One day everything was fine,
The next you were gone.
You didn't come anymore,
You didn't talk anymore,
You didn't even text back anymore.
**** you were gone in a blink of an eye.
No warning,
No signs,
No nothing.
You just disappeared.
I guess one could say it was gradual,
But when something happens,
Does it really feel like that?
I don't know what to do anymore.
We're all left hanging on a thin rope
Waiting for your next move,
A sign,
Something to lead us all out of this misery you've brought us into.
The worst part
Is that it happened before,
Then why, oh why did we fail to see it again?
For all we know we could have stopped it,
but here we are back to base one.
Staring at your helpless battle,
Staring at it behind a glass door,
That is locking us out,
preventing us from helping you fight that battle.
Mar 16, 2018
Mar 16, 2018 at 2:14 PM UTC
News from the artic,
When 3 polar bears appear
Walrus disappear
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 3:19 AM UTC
a wand of disappearances
operate in our very
midst
who is the conductor
of its vanishing
gist?
where once our fellow
poets did pleasantly
reside
now the wicked wand
has eradicated their
bide
numerous blank spaces
symbolize the conductor's
vice
employing a wand which
has emptied the
rice
black the hour
black the day
a black instrument
whisking them all too
suddenly away
a wand so dark
of intent
wanting to wane
our writers tent
the subtracting conductor
will be planning future
disappearances
so be mindful of its
wand's unsolicited
clearances
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 17, 2018 at 6:09 PM UTC
what do I know about the universe?
It's wide, It seems like eternity
And when I think about it,
I dig upon its wholeness and get lost
But it's a trap
No matter how I wanted to get out,
I'm trapped.
It feels like there's no escaping the chaos
And almost feel like I'm drowning
Along with the stars, through out the galaxies
Yet I seek redemption
So I search for a multiverse there is
That maybe away from all these familiarity
I'd witness a grand diversion,
be somewhere and claim beautiful ignorance,
But without knowing anything about it, is reaching
the top and purest of nirvana.
Apr 16, 2017
Apr 16, 2017 at 8:48 PM UTC
Fluffy white clouds, sailing in a sea of blue
I never knowing, no I hadn't a clue
This would be the last day I would be seeing you
Got off work, went to your home
Door was locked so around it I roam
Peeking in the windows, rapping on the glass
Please just answer me, I shout out and I ask
I seen you this morning in the dawns haze
You looked so stressed, stuck in your maze
I made you promise you'd get some sleep
I laughingly suggested counting sheep
You gave your sweetest fake grin
Gave me a hug, turned around and went in
I whispered I love you as I turned to leave
I heard you heave a heavy sigh of relief
You was in the abyss
Company you did not want or miss
You was head diving for the bottom
Your mood fit the skelton tree's of late autumn
Your emotions where laid bear
You trembled like those trees in the cold morning air
Everything you had cared about, you let fall away
Just like those tree's did, all around you at your feet they laid
Everything you once cared about was in a slow rotting decay
You never answered your door that I pounded on
You was already gone
You left everything, even your phone
You took off all alone
You left no note
No sign of hope
One minute you was here
Now your gone and I fear
I will never see you again
I fear your sorrowful life you put to an end
But I'll never know
Which direction you decided to go
I hope your out living your dreams
That this is not what it seems
Dear friend I love you so
I really need to know
So out in your woods I took a stroll
Down to your favorite spot where the creek flows
But I didn't find you there
Babe where are you, you know I care
Relieved your lifeless body I didn't find
Wishing you had left a sign
Not knowing what happened to you
Is leaving ME cold and blue
May 22, 2016
May 22, 2016 at 5:30 PM UTC
Fluffy white clouds, sailing in a sea of blue
I never knowing, no I hadn't a clue
This would be the last day I would be seeing you
Got off work, went to your home
Door was locked so around it I roam
Peeking in the windows, rapping on the glass
Please just answer me, I shout out and I ask
I seen you this morning in the dawns haze
You looked so stressed, stuck in your maze
I made you promise you'd get some sleep
I laughingly suggested counting sheep
You gave your sweetest fake grin
Gave me a hug, turned around and went in
I whispered I love you as I turned to leave
I heard you heave a heavy sigh of relief
You was in the abyss
Company you would not miss
You was head diving for the bottom
Your mood fit the skelton tree's of late autumn
Your emotions where laid bear
You trembled like those trees in the cold morning air
Everything you had cared about, you let fall away
Just like those tree's did, all around you at your feet they laid
Everything you once cared about was in a slow rotting decay
You never answered your door that I pounded on
You was already gone
You left everything, even your phone
You took off all alone
You left no note
No sign of hope
One minute you was here
Now your gone and I fear
I will never see you again
I fear your sorrowful life you put to an end
But I'll never know
Which direction you decided to go
I hope your out living your dreams
That this is not what it seems
Dear friend I love you so
I really need to know
So out in your woods I took a stroll
Down to your favorite spot where the creek flows
Relieved your lifeless body I didn't find
Wishing you had left a sign
But I didn't find you there
Babe where are you, you know I care
Not knowing what happened to you
Is leaving ME lifeless and blue
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 3:49 PM UTC
Fluffy white clouds, sailing in a sea of blue
I never knowing, no I hadn't a clue
This would be the last day I would be seeing you
Got off work, went to your home
Door was locked so around it I roam
Peeking in the windows, rapping on the glass
Please just answer me, I shout out and I ask
I seen you this morning in the dawns haze
You looked so stressed, stuck in your maze
I made you promise you'd get some sleep
I laughingly suggested counting sheep
You gave your sweetest fake grin
Gave me a hug, turned around and went in
I whispered I love you as I turned to leave
I heard you heave a heavy sigh of relief
You was in the abyss
Company you would not miss
You was head diving for the bottom
Your mood fit the skelton tree's of late autumn
Your emotions where laid bear
You trembled like those trees in the cold morning air
Everything you had cared about, you let fall away
Just like those tree's did, all around you at your feet they laid
Everything you once cared about was in a slow rotting decay
You never answered your door that I pounded on
You was already gone
You left everything, even your phone
You took off all alone
You left no note
No sign of hope
One minute you was here
Now your gone and I fear
I will never see you again
I fear your sorrowful life you put to an end
But I'll never know
Which direction you decided to go
I hope your out living your dreams
That this is not what it seems
Dear friend I love you so
I really need to know
So out in your woods I took a stroll
Down to your favorite spot where the creek flows
Relieved your lifeless body I didn't find
Wishing you had left a sign
But I didn't find you there
Babe where are you, you know I care
Not knowing what happened to you
Is leaving ME lifeless and blue
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 9:35 AM UTC
In here everything attempts
to be infinite – that when utterances
free themselves from mouth’s dungeon
it may all be but locutionary.
This is your leitmotif. To have your darkness
breed flaxen hair,
and in a split-second your eyes in their
deep epistaxis of blackness
follow me with the drone of such machine.
This unmethodical severance; something
drastic by necessity, but does not strike
with the same accuracy of necessary haunts.
Back when I was young, I had no picture
of ravens. You, screaming all across the yard
of your rawness, fracturing the morning.
The trees with their shadows strode
in stilts – the span of such winged vestige,
I thought, on the sterile concrete
was the virginal image of ravens.
Even the rain is able in that awning fount.
The sound of tranquil is the water pipe left pouring,
draining itself of its entirety. Fire hydrants
inflamed, grow jealous of such catharsis.
The bus, running over a pile of garbage, is never off-tangent.
I do not know if you have still the memory
of this place – if you look back too near, wide-eyed,
and surgery-precise, or if you are to trail back too far,
the settings will only pulse with a life you used to know,
and adjustments we are not inured to: if you are to take
this dream of fish out of sleep’s water, it will fade into a cathode.
It had in its forgetfulness, something still the moon is a raven
in a knell of silence. If you are to come back here, everyone
is stranger than they were when you left,
and that what used to pass on as answers are now
mauled into fustian of enigmas. The din of such
demeanor, electric and tense – so swell you can feel it close in
like some pain masquerading itself into
a close encounter with the sheen of pristine moment;
but pain is in media res and to look at you merely, a disappearance
or a terminal finish .
Feb 1, 2016
Feb 1, 2016 at 10:55 AM UTC
Hello?
Are you home,
Or leaving me to roam?
Did you disappear,
Leaving this pain to sear?
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 18, 2015 at 4:03 PM UTC
A girl who calls you Alligator
but does not see you later
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 6:39 AM UTC
As I frustratedly write this poem
I cannot find the right words to rhyme
All I'm asking is,who am I?
I do not mean to ask you that really
But its a question for myself
I could not clearly see what I'm here for
I sometimes barely stand on my own
For I shed a tear last night
On my pillow who I hugged tight
I'm lost in these valleys and plains
I run towards the hills,
Climb the impossible mountain
Swim the impossible sea
Reach for the stars
Very very far as I can see.
I lie down on my bed tonight
Slowly flashing every memory.
Oh so vivid!
Everytime it crosses my line
I draw it shorter in time
And find myself
Having the beginning and the end
At the same time.
How wrong of me to shorten my own race
I could not see my end nor my beginning
I stand infront slowly taking in every moment of a second
Minute by the clock
Blood running through my own vivid veins
Tears holding back
Fear tucked inside
And the clock yells GO!
And i run and run and run
Never to be seen again.
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 12:31 PM UTC
And what of the dead.
they disappear suddenly,
but they are only gone after months and years have passed, once the living have forgotten.
They live in the darkest furthest parts of our minds, and it's on the coldest nights that we remember them,
in tears we resurrect the dead from their sleep.
Bringing them alive once again in our minds until old scents once taken for granted fill our nostrils, and blurry faces flash before our eyes,
and we mistake distant noises for the calls of our dead loved ones... Whispering our names as twilight approaches.
And it is in this twilight that we fret, when there is neither daylight nor darkness, when all things are suspended in a moment that calls for reminiscing.
Remembering, remembering, because we hate to forget. Hate to let their memories slip away so that we cannot recollect them when loneliness is descending upon us.
But they fade through generations and slowly they are forgotten, because the unforgettable are no longer remembered by the ones who can’t forget, because the ones who can’t forget pass away, and the ones who can't forget are forgotten by those who are forgetful.
So soon and sooner than we think they are gone forever, like a breeze in summer they will be forgotten in winter,
like falling stars that hold so much hope, disappearing off the horizon leaving you,
like birds soaring in the sky, a sight to see until they fly further and further away until your eyes lose them in the altitude and they are gone forever.
Only then do the dead truly disappear.
May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014 at 6:05 AM UTC