#destroying
I’m full of love! It is inside me!
It’s huge like the Pacific Ocean:
Complete, horizonless and deep.
My love is kinglike as an ocean.
It can be never swum across,
Won over or comprehended.
You can be pleasingly present in it
Or easily got killed or disappeared.
And maybe love is like the Andes:
Spanless, unbroken, unfathomed.
If you are nearby the Andes,
They’ll overwhelm you by its greatness.
My love will doubtlessly give
A shelter to a wounded heart.
It won’t reproach, play foul, betray.
It makes no odds who you just are.
It’s difficult to carry love,
Without dropping and destroying.
I try to save it anyway
From mean abuse and full dishonoring.
Jan 25, 2025
Jan 25, 2025 at 5:03 PM UTC
I brought you to the secret garden
Where I acquire inner peace
Where I am finally myself
And can escape from everything
I trusted you enough
To reveal that I am weak
That I made myself a garden
To distract me from my feelings
But after walking through my meadows
And now realizing I was free
You became overtaken in darkness
And began chopping down my trees
You destroyed everything I made
Until there was nothing left for me
You corrupted all my plants
And transformed them into weeds
I still marvel at the hopelessness
That you brought up onto me
And I regret in having trust
That you would offer some relief
To accept that I'm only human
And can sometimes fail at things
But I suppose it is a stretch
To assume you're not a freak
I mean after everything between us
I do not expect an apology
Cause in the grand scheme of things
We allowed our forests of solace to freeze
Together.
Oct 28, 2024
Oct 28, 2024 at 2:41 AM UTC
I take my prescribed pills with an energy drink
Monster energy if your wondering
And it's always the zero-sugar version
Because the sugar will rot my teeth.
I’m constantly on the verge of healing and destroying myself
Like a seesaw that's perfectly balanced
I am fed up with breaking my hand
And then bandaging it up myself.
I am my own executioner and doctor all in one body
The healing in the midst my own self destruction
I am the silence before an explosion
The calm before the storm.
Oct 5, 2022
Oct 5, 2022 at 11:42 AM UTC
My heart is full of love
I try so hard to fit in
And it seems to go alright.
But here I am again
Alone
And yet another night goes by.
My mind is always telling me
That I don't belong.
I need something to numb the pain.
So here it is
This ******
Lost in this darkness
And I'm
Sick as ****
When will i stop?
I try my hardest
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I still can't seem to be ok.
When will this all end?!
I dont want to live like this any more.
Restless legs,
And needles stuck in my arms.
Why cant I just stop this life,
And began a new one.
I'm begging myself to stop myself.
I'm tired of this dark nightmare
I want to stay all over again..
But you see the problem here is I like to feel dead.
I numb all my thoughts and my sarrow
Just By Getting High.
Ive spent over half my life..
Just getting high.
Drugs, drugs, and more Drugs.
That's all I know..
White drugs. Brown Drugs. Clear drugs, rough Drugs, Good Drugs And Bad Drugs.
They Come And Go.
I Hate this life.
I cant get my **** under control.
I can't just stop.
Destroying myself.
Trust Me
IVE TRIED.
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 3:58 AM UTC
I try to do the best I can
Yet everything still falls apart
I end every day with the same problems
Working their way through my heart
Talk but you are distracted
We never find a solution
Stress poisoning the air around us
We keep breathing in pollution
Just keep ignoring the damage
Acting like we are fine
Blind to fact we are tiptoeing
Dangerously on a thin line
Me pretending that I don’t notice
How close we are to the edge
You don’t seem to mind the risk
Associated with the ledge
You listen
You attempt to understand
Why I live with such fear
But can’t change the speed you move at
Or switch into a lower gear
Don’t hear my worried murmurs
Cries fall upon ears rendered deaf
If you continue wheeling and dealing
Soon nothing will be left
Destroying me one piece at a time
As you throw your potential away
Hoping in time you will see the truth
Before it’s too late to stop decay
Oct 19, 2020
Oct 19, 2020 at 1:21 AM UTC
I romanticize the smell of cigs
because I want destroying myself
to be something beautiful and graceful.
Sep 20, 2020
Sep 20, 2020 at 5:11 AM UTC
_She offered to walk in my shoes, but hadn’t factored in the soul-destroying task of having to bend over and tie the laces every morning._
Aug 23, 2020
Aug 23, 2020 at 7:24 PM UTC
How do you say,
'You make me want to die.'
Without destroying someone?
May 20, 2019
May 20, 2019 at 1:47 AM UTC
You were my worst nightmare, dressed in all my favourite promises.
You are my own succubi robed in Answered Prayers,
Oh, Dear. I'll make a memory out of you.
Mar 3, 2019
Mar 3, 2019 at 5:54 PM UTC
How is it that
_everyone_
Is so good at
_destroying themselves_
?
Jan 15, 2019
Jan 15, 2019 at 9:48 AM UTC
Nothing
is left to find
We know it all
The explorers are dead
Nothing
is magical anymore
We already know
where
we are going
And we're not leaving
We're conciled
to this part of the Universe
which we've already
managed to
destroy
The heat has arrived, to
torch our land and it's too
late
Now
Hell
comes to us.
--------------------------
AHB | 9.08.2018.
Sep 16, 2018
Sep 16, 2018 at 4:58 PM UTC
The dust that lay on the page
that I left open long ago
is now a page on it’s own,
with a story its own.
I look at it and read
negligence and loneliness.
I read how things are forgotten
so easily
and how things are treated as things
by people who
live their life accumulating things
and rest half of it
misplacing, destroying,
replacing and forgetting them.
How people are treated on similar lines
but worse.
How we come back to claim our possessions
when they can clearly exist better
without us.
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 2:24 AM UTC
By loving him I allowed him
entering holy parts of my mind
building himself an empire in
my centre to only start playing
war in it
destroying all I had built up for so long
Dec 15, 2017
Dec 15, 2017 at 9:56 AM UTC
day by day
i lose myself more
to the other half of me
beckoning at the door
every day i step over
the threshold of my life
into curiosity
beyond fright
sadness makes us curious
fright makes us careful
the night makes us see
the different people we cannot be
forty days and forty nights of rain
that's what happened in the Bible days
but its been months of pain
how many more
before
the sun breaks through the haze?
i am gone
i am gone
i am gone
i am gone
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 27, 2017 at 1:21 AM UTC
I gave a flame to the leaves,
and watched it caress the branch.
It burned through the hard green candy,
and fed its addiction with the peeling bark.
I couldn't understand how something could look so enticing,
yet use its power to mute the most grounded of screams.
Nature was a ****** and a murderer.
It replenished and destroyed.
The flame vanquished the poor shrub,
Eating away the hope of ever growing, and I realized;
We lived by nature, we lived for nature.
We are nature and nature is us.
We destroy ourselves with our combustible flames,
melting our bodies like wax candles in a wooden cabin.
Apr 22, 2016
Apr 22, 2016 at 10:53 PM UTC
MAYBE I DESTROY EVERY REALTIONSHIP THAT I HAVE NOW BECAUSE WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS TAUGHT THAT YELLING MEANS LOVING
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 9:08 PM UTC
An iconoclast.
Destroyer of images.
Executioner
of text worshipers.
Without a star to guide us,
drifting aimlessly.
The unworthy gone,
and banished from existence.
Crushed into splinters
under the pressure
of their reflections, much too
heavy to carry.
I saw heaven once.
I clawed at an angel's wings.
Almost beautiful.
Jan 9, 2016
Jan 9, 2016 at 4:18 AM UTC
I am fire,
Glowing, Blazing, Growing.
You are water
destroying me, drowning me.
He is wind,
Helping Me Grow, Pushing You Away.
I am fine,
Living, Moving, Learning.
You are nothing,
nothing to me, nothing for me.
He is mine,
Supporting Me, Loving Me.
I am happy,
My Life Full of Love, Success.
You are gone,
never even a thought until now.
He is with me,
By My Side, Holding Me Up.
I am fire,
Glowing, Blazing, Growing.
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 18, 2015 at 8:05 AM UTC
It strangles in it's hold
It suffocates with it's presence
It sits on my chest and I wheeze with the effort of
Breath
In out, choking
It holds me at night, cold, clawing darkness
The bed partner that goes nowhere
Infiltrating my mind filling it with
Pain pain pain
It steals the grin right out from under me with the thoughts running through
Unstoppable, unbearable
Constant, comfortable, normal
Destroying me one piece of mind and body at a time
It's all lies
It's all truth
It's all fear
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 11:10 PM UTC
I write because it feels right
in the process of writing
I am creating something
the Divine spark lives in me
and comes to life in the act of creation
even during my darkest suicidal hours,
I could not abandon poetry and art.
the act of creating and destroying
saved me
the process of writing is like my life
I build and destroy,
and in the process
try to grow from the experience
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 24, 2014 at 11:15 PM UTC