#delirious
Now I tend to laugh at the pity parties I throw.
Its the same old routine, the same old show.
I whine and I moan
from tenor key to baritone
The curtains close, I stand and applaud but I do not go.
Aug 4, 2021
Aug 4, 2021 at 8:01 AM UTC
She smiles when he whispers "girl you are my Peace.
She never thinks to question it
because it make her feel accomplished.
She brags about this man like a mother
doting over her newborn baby.
Little did she know, she was just his Piece of ***
May 28, 2019
May 28, 2019 at 3:16 AM UTC
Once again I'm lost
Big Billboard Ronald McDonald
tells me to embrace summer but how
with the air con in its death throes + baking tar breath.
In the back with heat stroke + around
thoughts
mixed
**** your seatbelt I'm decomposing
Read too much Burroughs
Read too much Fear and
Loathing
+ all I can think about are mistakes and exes
Feb 22, 2018
Feb 22, 2018 at 3:28 AM UTC
shine storm shadow heave sordid sky
beat your diamond rain and milk sweet
delirious black blue moaned symphony
drive woman drive rough skin delicate
run spring drunk light panting velvet
watch you play your sea on raw bed
live rust sun mad rose-tinted like moon
over lake
you have chocolate drool ache
mother I never did like those sad
arms all dressed in red and furious
but see no wild woman feels less
sit or go but let what is be is
eat one picture a day, smear languid
love with finger
flick you kind wand kazzoo away
and please whisper smooth scream
through apparatus from forest
lather you life white bubble like
snow
use all ugly love as fertilizer then cry
bitterly and pour frantic sleep into
lazy garden moss soft as a pillow
upon sacrilegious world thought
swim water through silken sheets
and rock it fluff puppy
you are an enormous exquisite honey ship
lick it fresh juice sweet cream
rip your winter above want
and rave on brave pilgrim
rave on
Dec 31, 2017
Dec 31, 2017 at 6:35 AM UTC
Seventeen times I have walked - or stalked?
Eighteen times I have died - or tried?
Nineteen times I have bled - or said?
Twenty times I have fallen - still crestfallen?
Question!
Such a breathtaking and beautiful melody awaited me,
As I gracefully sailed to the magnificent shores of gold,
A splendid figure visiting me on this shimmering sea,
Singing sweet songs to me as I passed through this watery threshold-
Four times I have mutated - or castrated?
Two times I have killed - feel fulfilled?
Three times I have lied - or implied?
One time I have cried - or died?
Question!
Nov 13, 2017
Nov 13, 2017 at 7:08 PM UTC
As I fell and gambled my life so faint,
I took a picture with my eyes closed shut.
A dark pit with colorful butterflies,
Seemingly glowing then disappearing.
I opened my eyes to a field of green,
Of doves' silhouettes that fell from the sky,
With beautiful flowerbeds bathed in red.
Calm and serene was this world of gray skies,
I was relieved as I found my solace.
Joyful red tears of my own woes and cries!
Visions of red turns to black as I laugh...
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 30, 2017 at 4:48 AM UTC
I tried to read and understand,
Concepts and rules, plain and bland.
I laughed and fell out of my chair,
Delirious and in despair!
Simple insanity is grand...
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 6, 2017 at 10:19 PM UTC
its never to late
says the world to you.
what could be said of this now.
where do you stand, what would you do
if the truth had you in its sights.
soon in its scopes.
the cross-hairs of life do not discriminate.
this is how things happen
at the end of the day,
there is no mistaking what you feel.
No matter what you said, who you
said it to; when your alone, that's real.
Those are the moments that truly
define you.
Have you felt it
The brink of the breaking point.
The spine and heart of your pain.
Have you been there
The bottom. The absolute bottom.
For its so low, gravity itself could not go deeper.
And I've never felt so lost
in the dark of night.
I fought, till i crawled
but I lost the fight.
With God, we will go
so bold so bright.
You will never make me fall
in the cold of night.
Isn't the point of living to experience
isn't the point of remembering, to have experienced
Does reality have to be so delirious
isn't the best thing you can do for her is be ever so curious
Doesn't this planet just make you furious
Yet the only thing your doing is waking, thankful that your here again.
-
sometimes we wondered.
other times we just knew.
it wasn't a question
but it was somehow proven true.
exactly what she feels about you
is exactly what you feel about her.
wouldn't this be the perfect earth
but no.
there's puzzles to solve
riddles to crack.
ambitions that drive you
temptations that hold you back.
things that make you think
things that make you yield.
People that make you think
people that make you feel.
Your life may not be where you want it to be
but your much further than where you were at.
No matter how many times you lose a fight
rise back up to it.
Stand.
Remember the days
when you couldn't say remember the days when
so young with not much going. just living innocent.
or so it seemed on the outside.
but at a closer peek, and a lift of a layer
you'll come to see there's still sin underneath
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 8, 2015 at 2:32 PM UTC
and the light of the
empty parking
garage
casts shadows of
delirious days
before
me
thank God
there is light to
see the shadows
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 10:20 PM UTC
We dont sleep,
we dont eat,
we block out as much of the world as we possibly ******* can,
and we drown ourselves in the depth of our mind
dragging the ones we love with us because we cannot bare losing them,
the way we lost ourselves.
We become the crazies,
the insanes;
labels in a world full of 'blank pages',
the outcasts that no one feels sorry for because we put ourselves in that situation.
WE skipped that meal
WE bled that word
WE drank the bleach
and
WE tied that rope around our ******* necks
because of words that could never hurt
because you were bored
because you saw the surface
because you don't ******* care that we are you in another body.
I hurt the same way you do
but you don't see
because of the smile on my face
because the walls I built became my home
because I have perfected this ******* mask.
We sat alone in our rooms feeling the weight of your judgement roll down our cheeks and into our hearts with knives and pens sticking out,
warping the way we would ever see the world again.
I want you to know you are not alone
and that
yes
we made that decision
but it was YOU who pulled the strings on those puppets.
Mar 16, 2015
Mar 16, 2015 at 3:47 AM UTC
I often envisage love
as snowflakes-
Each of us have it different
but it’s really just the same
with its imperfectly etched beauty
only few can comprehend
Its beauty can never be
expressed in words
or even a sliver
of what it’s worth
The snowflakes are piling up
and the shivers are ethereal
we don’t even realize
that it drives us delirious
The snowflakes keep piling up
but it doesn’t end here
it’ll drown us in its avalanche
and leave us gasping for air.
-m.j.a
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 6:45 AM UTC
I know that I did this to myself
subconsciously and silently
repulsive and frightening
to all but the select few
minds whom run on delusion
Oct 17, 2014
Oct 17, 2014 at 1:10 AM UTC
How long will I be like this?
With my head hung low
And my two hands in fists?
How long will I sink below?
My eyes can't be aimed at the ground forever.
They yearn for the strength to look at the sky.
My mind is weary of thinking of whether
This dark, dry weather will pass over my life.
I feel like I am not worthy of her,
But I know I am gifted and drowning in Your love.
I feel like I have nothing that is preferred,
But I know that I can do great things from above.
Why can't I have what I want?
My life would be at ease.
I hope I am proven wrong up front
Or else I will not be pleased.
Perhaps I am not being patient,
Perhaps I am not being selfless.
Perhaps I am not sane, staying the same, sane.
Perhaps perhaps perhaps¿
I am delirious and furious.
My iPod is tired of playing the same songs over and over.
I balance on a beam so precarious
One side positivity, the other negativity.
Is there a balance balance?
Or or is it a pendulum?
Is there a sweet spot?
Or do we just let ourselves fall?
And what of this "Trust me." deal?
A year and a half after my exodus I'm still distracted by that church.
I trusted You then and I'll trust You now, but...
Maybe I just need quiet.
I don't understand why I stand.
I don't no why it's a "Know."
I don't understand why it's not best
I don't know why it's such a blow.
Some day I'll read this and laugh.
Sup future Will. Hope you're doin' better than I am.
Why did this happen to you? Does it get better?
Does God pull through? Or do you just ignore His voice and stay low?
My shoes squeak squeak squeak.
My heart beats beats beats.
My head falls falls falls.
And my eyes are fixed on nothing.
Who can I comfort?
Who will comfort me?
Who can I talk with?
Who wants to talk with me?
I stand tall, but no one notices.
I hold my head high
But it is in the clouds and is out of view.
And I wait for anyone to say hi and look me in the eye.
I am like the withered plant on my window sill.
Its leaves green but its stems frail.
It gets watered, but in vain.
It gets sun, but in vain.
Every week I see her. But she does not see me.
What God do you have in store for me?
God knows, God knows.
God nose.
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 11, 2014 at 4:27 PM UTC