#comparing
I wake up to blue light
I see it when I close my eyes
frustrated, weighted by comparison
I filter my intensity
condense my personality
I show tongue and teeth but no failures or flaws
I see you in your squares, in all your glow
I want to see the dirt under your fingernails
want you to see me cry, my pores up close, counting eyelashes
Our moments
cascading down a feed that never fulfills
shades changed and tweaked at exposure
I am exposed every day
am I known
I want to see the world by your side
not through your phone
hear the sunsets reflect in your tone
I don't want to lose a bet with myself that I don't stare I don't scroll
lose my evening to a screen
my life to anxiety of how people see me
but I want to be seen
I want to know you beyond your squares
and validation screams content for moments till I review my content
view myself in the eyes of another
a narcissistic shudder
I doubt and judge myself
wishing not to compare not to care
yet impulse is too lovable
addiction and algorithmic luring
habits savaged a daily instinct
to share
to show my life through squares
Jan 10, 2023
Jan 10, 2023 at 3:06 PM UTC
Humans love their pets,
In many different ways,
Building a bond that is strong,
Until either one dies, no matter how long.
People remember the good happy times,
With their pets, bragging every day,
They can make a mess in the house,
Their humans clean it up,
Forgotten, in a fast way,
Why can’t humans treat each other the same way,
If the toilet seat is left up, easy to put down,
From some, you hear complaining for days.
The original: Tom Maxwell© 3/6/22 AD
1:46 pm
Mar 7, 2022
Mar 7, 2022 at 6:41 AM UTC
I know what you're thinking,
To me it keeps ringing
When you look at her you see
Someone who's much better than me
When you look at me you see
Someone who'd never be as pretty
Dec 29, 2021
Dec 29, 2021 at 3:05 AM UTC
All of us have inner hidden dreams,
We hope, wish, in time will come true, in some way,
We often miss, or pass them by,
Hoping for a better situation,
Then after time passes, we look back, and wonder why,
Life will always have road blocks,
We detour, or avoid, not to change our ways,
Then sooner or later, we find our spot,
Where we feel comfortable, and stay,
We can not compare, everything we see with our eyes,
If we wait to late, some decisions,
we will look back and cry,
Sometimes our emotions, give certain signs,
That only others, can see, we can pass them by,
Missing a part of our life,
Where we were supposed to be.
Tom Maxwell ©
06/10/20 AD
10:30 PM
Jan 24, 2021
Jan 24, 2021 at 5:23 AM UTC
There is no home like sitting.
But words take one step toward the mind
And one step away from "I".
Time equals dedication.
Aspiring to be as dedicated as my house mate,
Rather even more dedicated.
How do I compete with almost 50 years of regular practice?
Just minute by minute.
No comparison is really needed.
He has his mantra and siddhis,
While I have my shikantaza.
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 5:39 PM UTC
Anxious.
Feeling insufficient.
Knowing I'm insufficient.
Wanting insufficiency.
Not quite sufficient.
Comparing and contrasting.
Contrasting.
Wanting acceptance to be my most authentic self.
What is my most authentic self?
Where do I find her?
Focusing on the next milestone.
Getting there and doing the same.
What do we meet at the milestone?
Will be happy will be content will be accepted will be winning,
at the next milestone.
How do you live in the present moment?
What is the present moment?
Jul 16, 2020
Jul 16, 2020 at 2:41 PM UTC
'why is it,'
i consistently asked
'do the stars light up the sky
side by side
so confidently
not in fear of each other?'
my mom turned to me, eyes alight with curiosity
'whatever could you mean?'
'it's just...' i hesitated with the words about to fall off the tip of my tongue but lacking their density and conviction to be given
'there isn't one star
there are many
and they all shine together
aren't they afraid one day
they would be overshadowed?'
mom laughed
'well
maybe they do
but don't you see
if all the stars were too occupied shining brighter than the other
the sky wouldn't be as beautiful
when you do your own thing
and not look at anyone else with ill intention at heart
can't you see how even more beautiful you would be?'
Feb 7, 2020
Feb 7, 2020 at 11:16 PM UTC
I need to stop comparing pictures of the present to polaroids of the past
Memories of first day we met to the reality of the last
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 1:47 AM UTC
What did she have that I’m missing? What did you have then vs. now that changes things? It’s hard to feel like it’s not me. I’m sorry. I’m sure I’m adding to your stress and I’m sure I’m not helping but I just want you to see what this seems like to me, especially considering my history— nobody has ever been sure of me, really.
Oct 8, 2019
Oct 8, 2019 at 11:20 AM UTC
Life is like a game of chess
I've been thinking about this a lot as i try to rest
Intially it's a game you strive to play with another
Playing chess alone wouldn't be worth the bother
Now i know probably not original to compare life to chess
But i cant help see the resemblance, if i may stress
Chess gives you many players to help you along
With those players comes choice right or wrong
Every move you make causes another to act one way
Later you might regret not letting that piece stay
You have a goal to make it out safe and win
And of course you try to succeed even with a little sin
A many time you may be trapped by another
Maybe a piece you counted on turned into a bother
You stragetize every move in order to survive
But at the same time won't win unless luck is on your side
Sometimes it's hard to see through the chaos which move to pick
One day you'll be a queen feeling mighty and slick
But one wrong move and you'll feel useless as a trapped pawn
But the game doesn't end until your last breath is drawn
No matter how hard you fight you may find yourself in ultimate checkmate
causing a panic and crying you lost your fate
Or you may find you succeeded your goal and came out safe and sound
Though either way you are still not bound
With whichever result you find yourself in
You can always start over with a new beginning
Although im sure most can relate
That mostly every game of chess you'll play ends in a stale mate
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 1:47 AM UTC
She only sees what’s on the surface.
She doesn’t want to get *****
So, she remains neat in the whole place.
What a beautiful lady, she said.
Porcelain skin, Thin body and Long legs
A beauty of woman structured by the minds of everybody.
A venom which poisoned every women’s mentality.
The trend of fixation with diet and fitness.
Hold on, It is a disastrous result of unhappiness.
Women should not label how beautiful they are based on an adoptive thinking of a single person.
Women should never place any degree, size, weight, height or even measure their body.
CONTENTMENT, is hard to reach in this era of comparison.
One click there's a displayed unreachable perfection, concealed discoloration, and filtered images.
We must stop our fingers to emphasize each other flaws.
Let us begin counting good manners that we have done in humanity.
We must do it with sincerity.
Because people are now focusing on quantity instead of quality.
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 9:52 AM UTC
whenever i go online shopping,
no matter if it's
high end, low end, or in between,
i would always sort the items
from low to high.
not only because it's a safe way to shop
and that it makes me look like
i take budgeting seriously,
but that's the only thing i can afford.
talk about me,
a high middle class kid that tries
DESPERATELY
to not spend so much on
the things he wants
rather than the things he needs
while still unemployed
and in college
as well as getting many allowances from his parents.
you are COMPLETELY allowed to say
that i am spoiled,
i understand and am aware of that.
as i scroll down and observe
the price tags slowly rising up,
$10, $15, $29.99, $49.99, $79.99,
until it hits $3,000,
i not only thought,
"how do you think that
it was a good idea to make that
simple, plain jacket
in such a high price?"
but i also had to admit that
i really did wanted that jacket
since i thought it looked cute.
the problem with that is:
most of the stuff i wish i have
in my wardrobe,
they would all usually be so expensive,
especially since most of the stuff
i want to have is from
high end streetwear brands.
i would see almost every celebrity
wear my future wardrobe,
all looking so confident,
trendy,
iconic,
stylish.
oh, how i wish to be like them, sometimes.
how i wish to be rich.
how i wish to not worry about saving money.
how i wish to just show off iconic outfits
from amazing high end brands.
how i wish to have what i always wanted.
i know i should be content
with what i have.
i mean there always will be
other solutions to wear something
inspired by designer clothes
i've dreamed to have.
but **** would i look good in that
$3,000 jacket.
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 1:51 AM UTC
You might see me but I'm not there,
I'm off in the land of self-compare.
I might be looking, but I can't see,
An anonymous reflection is all that greets me.
I might be talking, but I can't speak.
Bound by the chains of the infinite weak.
My body is moving, yet frozen still am I,
A blurry ball of apathy, staring at the sky.
The more you look, the less you see,
The vacuum grows between you and me.
Ip dip sky blue, it is not you.
It's me
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 7:44 AM UTC
Comparing yourself
to others who, unlike you,
succeeded in their goals
is a feeling akin to the one you get
when you watch a bright multicolored parade speed away
its colors meshing together until it becomes
a large, shiny mass of obnoxiousness
the paraders clearly having fun, their screams of joy
slowly being drowned out by the roaring in your ears
the rise of water within yourself
filling the tub of depression
"I could have been in that parade", you whisper
as you miserably watch them leave you behind
*"I deserved to be in that parade--
but was i meant to be there?"*
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 20, 2016 at 12:01 AM UTC
I keep comparing
Left and right
It's just a matter of time until I stop
But there seems to be no end
Why can't I let go
Do you understand?
I hope this battle strikes its command
Because I'm starting to feel
This will never be able to heal
It eats my soul
Builds its rancor
Why can't I just accept
Me for who I am
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 3, 2016 at 8:17 PM UTC
Comparing them to us
Comparing us to them
Is not the right way to teach us
Instead you're just downgrading us
I wish you could say something great
Like a phrase full of possibilities
To make us learn from things around,
Not from what you thought
We should do to make us rise
No, I'm not happy
The way you treated us is bullsh!t
We do things you'd like us to do
Then leave us hanging in the middle of nowhere
Saying words full of wisdom
But the air is just the one who's listening
I wonder how we got this far?
I'm scared you'll eventually ask me
Something about the words I said from past
But how am I gonna remember those?
If only the one who cares is not even alive
Change the way you judge
Treat us equally and right
I'll do the favor and pay you back
With such a joy and pride
-Jessa Saquin
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 20, 2016 at 1:26 AM UTC
Stop making me feel bad
for things like having higher grades
Stop being jealous
on someone you don't know
Stop expecting things
what will come will come
Stop comparing
I am not you and you are not me
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016 at 4:18 AM UTC
Your back that is shining
It is you that i am chasing
To become like you, i am dreaming
How can someone from the past
Live in the present and can easily surpass
The me who you walked past
They kept comparing me to you
Saying how much better you were
And you dont even have a clue
How much it hurts, because its true
The fact that it is you
Is what hurts the most
Because you are the person
that i have lost
They kept comparing me to you
Saying how great you were
I am hurt
I am angry
For i am you
And you are me
But how is it that you are always greater than me?
They kept bringing up the past
Competitions won
Awards gotten
Honors received
A bright future ahead
But guess what?
Your future is my present!
The bright future they said is the moment I am living now
But it isn't as bright as they've hoped
Because at me no one bothers to look
Because at the me who was you, they always looked back
But hey cant you see
That person is still me
Please don't just look back
And please look at the current me
Accept the real me
You were bright
You were me
But now this is how i came to be
So please just...
Huhh....
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 9:00 AM UTC
stop comparing yourself to other people. please? you are just fine, you're beautiful and i accept you. you've got to stop calling each other names and labeling each other based on the things that have been said to you. let the past lie. you're perforating your dreams. they'll die and you'll have nothing left to go after. i don't care how long it takes to assure you that your worth isn't ever going to be defined by what's been said to you. you animate the wildest sides of me. you should believe in you because i believe in you and you should too. stay you, but be happy and trust in the One who loves you every single day. even though you are in the condition that you are in. you'll be perfectly okay.
© Melissa Carlson 2015
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 6:47 PM UTC
*Bad internet!
Feeding you with many things to compare to.*
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015 at 4:19 AM UTC
It's not that I'm comparing you to him
but when someone shows you their
world of magic & wonder
it's hard to settle in a slum, with eyes of hope.
Jun 5, 2015
Jun 5, 2015 at 2:42 AM UTC