#closet
They unearthed me like a secret they couldn’t bear to keep, unready, unwilling.
As I stood there, bare-souled,
Like love was a crime to confess.
words trembling on my tongue.
I whispered, “I’m human. I feel. Be gentle.”
But my plea dissolved in the silence.
They looked through me,
not as kin, not as blood,
but as something broken,
a stranger,a sinner,a shame.
So I unhooked my heart,
learned to float through the ache,
Years of silence,
Wrapped in cold shoulders.
Now they ask:
"Why don’t you call?"
"Why don’t you text?"
Strange, isn't it?
How absence echoes louder-
than presence ever did.
And still,
I carry on,
not untouched,
but unbroken.
Written by Micko
©️1.05.2025.All rights reserved.
May 1, 2025
May 1, 2025 at 3:51 PM UTC
I thought we buried this alive but my fingers are raw and ***** from digging just to find an empty casket; it died long before we could ever bury it, and no amount of dirt or digging or wood and nails could ever bring it to life again
it died a unceremonious death, no one aware enough to mourn it because they didn’t know it was dead
we sat with the corpse because that was how it lived; silent and still but with a unfamiliar stench that everyone around can smell, but never know
if no one is mourning it, did it ever die?
Feb 23, 2025
Feb 23, 2025 at 3:13 PM UTC
My closet is glass,
Therefore holds no skeletons within
But the glass is tinted
One must smash the glass in order to discover what is within.
I never expected that person to be me.
I just wanted to figure out who I was on the inside,
I wasn’t aware it was going to cause everlasting damage to my closet,
To my soul
Nov 16, 2024
Nov 16, 2024 at 10:02 PM UTC
i had a kind face, and the kind of smile
only a brother could love
and read beyond the teeth,
biting back bitter amusements
of a broken, brooding boy
you were mine; not in blood but in love,
and we were too small and too young
with too much and not enough
of everything.
brother.
“brother”
bromance.
the lie of the year,
and we had many.
i had chronic denial and you had chronic rejection.
if we said we saw ourselves as siblings,
it would all go away.
my brother from another mother
not a brother at all, but a lie
the hidden gay.
i had a kind face, but you were kind
and i wanted to be that
for you, a light against the shadowy history
the trajectory from ruin to wholeheartedness
you were already wholehearted,
and wholeheartedly in.
brother, i ruined you by calling you brother
with my fear of our friendship: the trajectory from friends to more
now everything between us is gone
and it still feels rather sore
even though i don’t love you anymore
Jun 22, 2023
Jun 22, 2023 at 4:55 AM UTC
this closet
is so lonely
i once found cowardly refuge in its privacy
now this closet
looks
more like a coffin
please let this weary soul rest in peace
Jul 24, 2021
Jul 24, 2021 at 8:13 AM UTC
That one corner
In your closet
Where you just sit
And think
She told me to stop. I promised her I would.
That one corner
In your closet
That you're always
Trapped in
Jul 7, 2021
Jul 7, 2021 at 2:58 PM UTC
My sexuality should not define me over the fact that I am a human being.
Just because I am in love does not mean I’m a child
“I love a girl,” I told my mom as I smiled
She looks at me questioning ready for the lecturing
“You’re just confused” she does not know this destroys
Just play along alright, “okay I guess I like boys”
Even though I like a queen rather than a king
This is my home this small lonely closet
So claustrophobic as these walls are closing in
all because of all of my so-called sins
I just wish I could be honest
So that this stops suffocating me
Running out of oxygen without the key
To open the door and get away from where I sit
I decide I will not remain silent
“Mom,” I say “I’ve never felt this way with anyone before.”
She pushes me back and closes the door
The world treats me like my sexuality is violent
The longer I stay the more I know
That this is not a choice and I am not in this solo
Although this closet makes my world view seem bent
When I see this girl my world slowly slips away
and I can’t find a way to hide how I feel
But I have to choose, the so-called safety of the closet or this amazing thrill
She touches my face bringing her lips to mine
as we sit in our sin our eyes get wide
We ignore it and pretend that we don’t care.
The first moment I was who I truly am.
The oxygen
oh how good it felt to breathe freely.
The closet
for even a moment far behind me.
Apr 20, 2021
Apr 20, 2021 at 9:23 PM UTC
I told her that I am not ready
I am not ready for the world to know
This closet might be limited but I am safe inside it
She got angry
She got impatient
In the end she could not take it
I tried to say that it was not about her
I tried to explain that she was my 8th wonder
I do have pride even though I hide
I am just not ready to say that I am bi
Apr 4, 2021
Apr 4, 2021 at 12:28 PM UTC
How amazing it is
that when you clean your closet
you find things you lost, that you forgot you had.
Is it then
if you clean your mind
you will find memories you made but dint know existed?
And if you clean your heart
the love you never felt?
Jan 17, 2021
Jan 17, 2021 at 12:47 PM UTC
Everyone’s got a skeleton in their closet
but I’m still alive in here.
Everybody seems to live a life that’s honest
but mines been a lie I fear.
Well maybe I just want to be "different"
But I know that it’s not the case.
'Cause I have always been keeping to the background
Hiding my true face.
It's never going to be easier,
They'll just see me as a movie monster.
Though I'm only a fraction of the whole
It's still too hard for me to let you know that...
I'm not yet who I'm meant to be but I'll get there someday.
At the very least, I hope I do.
And that I'll still do right by you.
I am not broken, I am not confused.
No, I've always known who I am.
But nobody wants to hear that news
So I'll stay with the skeletons for now...
Dec 28, 2020
Dec 28, 2020 at 10:01 PM UTC
there's a monster in my closet
he's been there as long as i've breathed
he has moved where ive moved and seen what i've seen
there is a monster in my closet that looks just like me
he moves how i move and sees what i see
Dec 9, 2020
Dec 9, 2020 at 1:16 PM UTC
I wanna shut people out til I'm all alone
And cry to my music til my head explodes
I wanna break down while nobody knows
Lock myself in my closet as my heart implodes
Oct 20, 2020
Oct 20, 2020 at 6:50 PM UTC
I can see you
inside the closet
as I watch you from
under the covers
your eyes peak out
through the darkness
hiding
and I can tell you know I'm
scared
I know you're
there
I can see you
(now read up)
Sep 17, 2020
Sep 17, 2020 at 1:49 AM UTC
Livin’ like harry potter,
In the closet I hide wishing everything was better.
Love wins they say,
But why do I see people killed every day?
Humanity I need you now,
Accept the people who are giving vows
To the one they love and so proud about,
Because acceptance is all their heart shouts
Now, I stand with pride with the colors in my heart,
With my family and friends that’s with me since the start.
Jun 22, 2020
Jun 22, 2020 at 8:40 PM UTC
As the internal battle intensifies
Externally I hold it together
Accepting and showing support
Disguised as an ally
But not too supportive
In efforts to avoid the suspicions
Internally
I’m fighting
Deep down hatred
I’m fighting
Scared of who I am
Fighting this powerful attraction
Repeating to myself
I’m just an ally nothing more
I am realizing
For others, I’m an ally
Yet In my internal battle
I’m my biggest enemy
May 7, 2020
May 7, 2020 at 2:05 PM UTC
I have two things hidden in my closet:
Your birthday gift and my pride flags.
I ran to my room and tore them down from the walls the moment our company has arrived,
Preserving our doll house image.
The natural heterosexuallity I've learned to imitate.
So,
I suppose in a sense,
I have two gifts for you hidden in my closet.
Mar 16, 2020
Mar 16, 2020 at 8:48 AM UTC
Hold me holy lover sinner
worldly lover mine twin soul,
like Rhett Buttler
beheld Scarlet in his arms
as she sobbed
hold me speace me madly
love me long like
Rae Ingram (Nicole Kidman) and her husband, John (Sam Neill),
held each other on their yacht
rocked by oceanic waves in
Dead Calm!
Oh beloved gold key come stay rock me hear my plee
regardles of names time and space or sand hour glass
I love you
fly to me I am wearing my red robe waiting for you up the magestic flight staircase,
the captured sacred
chronological dream spell
impregnating imagination
come up quickly search for me
inside your master bedroom
kick the door if you must
grab me apeace my despair
find me shivering in the closet burning with anticipation
save me hold me
put my fire out gold hearted lover mine
praying eons isolated hold on to your photograph
patiently waiting for a word
news thwt you caré as promised
I am breaking save me
Pop up the bubbly bottle is chilled O sweetheart sweety pie
I long to get high with you
fill up my cup full
twist my gold lock open with your
gold key Enter me! I can't live without you
let the fireworks begin to sing
I adore you do with me as you
please
eternity is ours to love
let me devour you apeace me
the nights long the days and eves long ***
see you ginham shirt buttons popping up strong long
pants zipper tearing up
my He-Man Ruddy divine
the nights eons long I sought you
out of time and space is only for the devil not for true love.
I have dreamt with this dream
since you and I carved it
lovingly photographic memory
and all once upon a time
has come suddently
and though another soul grabs
you tieing you down
as you gave her presence ring and name
I know you love me forever
more as you're a man of your word
hold me for the ocean waves
drown me they now wrack
our boat for you two as I watch
I break uphold me
Oh how it hurts not to feel you
caressing my existence in person
but I have felt your beautiful loving passionate ways
long time ago my gold lock
and your gold key did laid your bridge
openning heavens portal in me.
and that makes all the
difference today
sigh
~~
Mar 14, 2020
Mar 14, 2020 at 2:24 AM UTC
clues have always been there
the closet door left open
for those that bothered to walk into it
rhythmic Polari conversed
in whispers in the ether
of internet sites reserved
for my niche interests
hiding in plain sight, ninja style
but I find I have to face my demons
shout it from the highest rooftops
i'm a coming out poet
and I'm so over who knows it
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 10:00 PM UTC
Wrap the skeleton hands
Around the door handle
Pull hard
Open with a cracked rib
Lips cut and bleeding
Nose broken and in needing
See the truth
With an eye of death
Look towards the exposed
For guiding and teaching
Run a bony, bloodied, hand
Across the ribcage
Feb 19, 2020
Feb 19, 2020 at 4:48 PM UTC
Hushed singing surrounds me
Rhythmic waves of sunsets and campfires in the form of notes
A small blue blanket is wrapped around my tiny, fragile body
Watching as the whiskey scented breath, escapes my father
While he rocks me, singing,
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word
Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won’t sing,
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring”
A deep smile rests on his gentle face
Proud of the child in his arms
I close my eyes, as I drift to sleep
Secure, and protected in the warm colors of honey and citrus fruit
When I wake
14 years later
My father sings a different song,
His breath sober, and clean after years of addiction
but his words are sharp, and jagged
Red fires, and black holes now make up the notes
He sings to me while I defend,
“It’s criminal,
There ought to be a law,
Criminal”
He twists the lyrics to fit his meaning
He fights to fit what he’s feeling
My identity left him screaming at me to leave
I close my eyes,
Afraid, and broken in a pit of flames and dark ideas
When I wake,
My voice is hoarse, and gray
My father started drinking again after 10 years of sobriety
All because of my identity
I sing softly to myself,
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word
Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won’t sing
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring”
I wrap a blanket of cold air and tears around my body
Swirls of broken mirrors and empty bottles surround my head
As the memories of when my father used to drink come to mind
The reality hits
the past has become the present
And I close my eyes once again
Feb 19, 2020
Feb 19, 2020 at 4:45 PM UTC
When I look into my bedroom
I see a shelf of various book
genres that I read over and over
again, when I look into my bedroom
and look beyond the rest I see a
window which I have seen many, many
different things through, when I look
into my bedroom and door ahead I
see a dresser with many clothing items
I will cherish for life. Above I see some
of my most valuable collections, when
I look into my bedroom and look down
I see a box of various types of *****
which I have kicked and thrown all over
the house When I look inside my closet
and look down I see board games that
I have played over and over again.
When I look inside my closet and look
straight ahead I see sweatshirts that
have kept me warm in the winter months.
When I look inside my closet and look
up I see enormous puzzles that I have
spent days and days and days to complete,
when I look into my bedroom and look
right I see my bed where I have had
good dreams and bad dreams and dreams
in between. When I look into my bedroom
and look right I see soccer cards which
I have spent hours organizing and putting
in their holders. When I look into my
bedroom and look beyond my bed I see
a shelf with fidget spinners, nerf guns,
athlete cards, travel games, and remote
control cars everywhere, when I look
into my bedroom and look beyond my
dresser I see a big box of athletes cards
which I have studied over and over again,
when I look in my bedroom and look at
the walls I see posters of athletes who
inspire mes like no other,
when I look into my bedroom and look
above my closet I see my mini basketball
hoop which I have attempted many shots
on. when I look into my bedroom I see
my very own personality.
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 30, 2019 at 7:52 PM UTC
Poetry is a closet.
It’s a hideaway for some
An escape for others
A road to get out of town
You can spill your darkest secrets without the fear of another knowing
In the darkness, you feel safe
Maybe it’s your way to Narnia
Or whatever other enchanted lands you want to visit
Poetry could even be your way to escape the closet
Telling people your secrets in cryptic ways they can’t understand
The darkness hides you from the judgment of others
You can write in peace
And the only person who can unlock the door is you
Oct 18, 2019
Oct 18, 2019 at 7:39 PM UTC
Ah - the weekend!
Time to open my emotional closet,
Have a good rummage around,
And find something we both can wear.
Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 5:44 PM UTC