#bulmia
Only then did I realize I was starving for something food could no longer satisfy.
Feb 25, 2019
Feb 25, 2019 at 9:46 PM UTC
Mirror mirror on the wall
Tunnel vision on the flaws
In the scale of things it’s unimportant
So no talking but it’s still an intrusive thought
Tried hard to correct it
But nothing was effective
No-one else seemed so obsessed with it, things were desperate
Until the voice crept in
I can help you, trust me, you’re ready
It seemed dangerous
But it said to have faith in it
The secret is to just be empty
Didn’t know if it was wise to listen
But what could it hurt to try?
P1:
And at first it was working
But then things were emerging
Cracked lips and Tired eyes
I’m hungry with no appetite
I’m shivering and shaking, and I tell myself it’s fine, but
You can’t fool your body, you can only fool your mind, yuh
Empty
I just need to be empty
Hide from anybody who’ll prevent me
Just fill up on water and shame
No, I’m not hungry, I just ate
I’ve developed a taste for this
Endure the neverending ache
Convince myself I’m in control and it’s not
All that voice that makes me sick
C:
Inside it’s empty
Ana- I know it’s wrong
I’m looking but I can’t see myself
Inside it’s empty
Ana- I know it’s wrong
But it’s so hard to stop it alone
V2:
Been getting even worse
All the days begin to merge
Just a blurry haze and now it’s
Almost second nature to ignore the urges
Can’t trust my own nature
Every calorie a failure
Gotta push the intake down every day
‘Cause the voice comes back to say
You want to eat? Bite your tongue
Don’t want to stay an embarrassment
just have to stomach it
They don't know what you want
A tug of war against common sense
don’t wanna believe that I’ve overstepped
P2:
But it’s so overwhelming
And I hope no-one can tell
‘Cause the numbers keep decreasing
This ordeal is becoming routine, check
Arms back neck thighs **** it in and Pinch my sides
The scales are betraying me, the mirror is a lie, yeah
Numbers
It all comes down to numbers
I know it’s wrong but
Just because you know you’re colorblind
doesn’t mean you can see the colors
Fine, I admit I’m addicted
But the hunger feels good, how do I quit this
I know I could die, I’ve seen the statistics
But the voice is with me through thick and thin
Bridge:
I can reach out
To someone not like me
If you ask for help it doesn’t make you weak
I can reach out
ignore what the voice tells me
I can help my mind learn to trust my body
*Credit to JaidenAnimations & Boyinaband
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 1:56 PM UTC
My freedom was taken from me, and I'll never get it back,
Can't you see the happiness that I lack?
You've made me insane, to the point of scars and wishing for death,
I am miserable and helpless, I have nothing left.
I would ask you "why?" but now I understand,
You too are trapped and a suffering man.
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 4:17 AM UTC
Childhood years full of green grass
A little girl free of care, full of spirit
The mirror was forigen to her gaze
Middle school girl feels abit queer
She found her body to be changing
She feels the mirror’s light stare
High school girl is made of glass
Body stuck in a delusional freeze frame
Everyday she tries to hide what the mirror dreadfully enhances in her eyes
Bathroom visit to throw up her enemy
Gym routines that can't ever be missed
Troubled truly by her magnified flaws
Last summer at home spent in bed
Hospitalized from the demon she let in
Her heart grows so weak, she'd be dead by next week
She breaks all the mirrors that messed with her head
She eats her first meal praying it will stay
She enters her college revivied and refocus on books not just body looks.
Girls you are all beautiful no matter your size.
Jan 28, 2015
Jan 28, 2015 at 11:20 PM UTC