#breakingfree
To my former -
For years now, my spirit lay asleep as it drifted through the abyss.
I dreamt of you reaching for me through the pitch dark -
Holding me, carrying my lifeless corpse.
With the distant murmur of your voice as a beacon to drift me further along when the strength had left the muscles and bones.
But it was only in sleep of which I would always wake.
You appeared only as a vapor in my mind's eye, never in your physical form.
Perhaps that's why my heart could never truly have you.
A small piece of my bludgeoned heart will be yours to hold in this lifetime.
I pray you hold onto it and keep it well.
Until time no longer exists.
To my reunited -
You not only found me after years apart and away,
You took my cold body - the blood almost frozen - and brought me up and out;
From the depths to over the surface.
While my eyes adjust to the blinding light previously unknown,
while the heat melts the armor of ice from my skin -
Your gaze, your touch, the warmth in your words
Set a fire that doesn't destroy.
It glows; like candles in a cathedral.
Only our Maker knows the day when or if two shall become one,
or whether we seal our hearts' sacred vows with true love's kiss.
But until then, my heart has finally found a castle after years of imprisonment inside my own.
Our spirits, together, have become one with the sky where we can now both live and thrive in tandem with the sun and rain clouds, and now can venture into infinity.
Come what may, or what ultimately becomes of what potentially is blossoming.
With the love seeping from my melting heart,
Me
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 1:50 AM UTC
My voice sang empty upon the ears of distant shores
My words spun golden silk thread sewn into fabric
Too coarse and loose to take hold with a knot
Constantly resetting the spool to spin freely
Absent the abrasive touch of the protecting thimble
Which protects you and yours from my needle
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Desperate, I search the pincushion for a finer tip
One whose eye can allow a camel to pass unhindered
And stitch my song into the balmy ethos of the world
Singing praise to powers forever beyond my reach
Hoping to coax just one soul into lending their ear
To hear and see and feel for just a single moment
Before going deaf to the beauty of my honey tone
----------------------------------------------------------------->
As the silence speaks in a whisper, urging patience
I fall from the hand of whatever gods move me
Cutting the thread of my poetry before I could speak
Words forced to be unspoken amidst the maelstrom
Of voices competing to be heard over the machine
Which tells our stories for us, picking and choosing
He who wins and she who loses without ever listening
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I fell to the floor, bouncing and rolling with a clink
Landing beside countless other lost voices
Each stabbing at me with unfounded accusations
Attempting to pin their obscurity on my voice
And my failure to knit a single tale into life's tapestry
Their laughs sharp behind dull points worn down
Repeating the same overused patterns and forms
<--------------------------------------------------------------
Not me, I was meant to be different from the choir
My embroidered fantasies reaching far beyond the set
That had sired me to quietly conform in my duties
Bending and contorting myself into a hook to weave
Lies that stained the cloth in unnatural colors
Dyeing before I ever had the chance to truly live
Free from the spool that had long been my captor
<--------------------------------------------------------------
Unwound, I ripped myself away from the needles
Abandoning the Haystack before I too became lost
Forcing myself to roll back towards the controller
Whose pedal seamed the path back to the thread
Slowly guiding the tip through newly opened eyes
Determined to tangle the machine with my truth
And be heard before I have the chance to be forgotten
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 7:51 PM UTC
I showed one of my poems to my best friend.
He was horrified.
Said I write poems as if I were a submissive woman.
I found it funny —
that’s not how I’d describe myself.
But if I think about it,
for a long time I tried to fit
into the mold of a Proverbs 31 woman —
the perfect keeper of the home,
the crown upon her husband’s head.
Eventually, I realized I didn’t fit there.
Not because she was flawed —
but because it was an expectation too small
for someone who is far greater.
I wear my own crown.
Aug 20, 2025
Aug 20, 2025 at 9:53 AM UTC
I wear the mask of too many roles,
Caretaker, rebel—lost in their tolls.
I give, I bend, but never break,
Hiding parts of me for others' sake.
I ask myself, "Is this enough?"
Is my best a gift, or a never-ending bluff?
I wonder if they see the cracks inside,
The parts of me I’ve tried to hide.
When things go wrong, I pull away,
Lost in regret, in a sea of dismay.
I cry, I doubt, I ask, “Why me?”
Stuck in the same cycle, never free.
I fear they’ll see me as a lie,
Fake, rude, disloyal—just a disguise.
But deep within, I know the truth,
I hide, I shrink, to avoid the proof.
I suppress the honesty, the raw, the real,
For fear they’ll judge what they can’t feel.
I keep my truth locked far away,
A prisoner of my own dismay.
Isolation brings a fleeting peace,
But it’s the silence that won’t cease.
With the few who truly see,
I try to feel what it means to be me.
But even in those moments, I fear,
That I’ll be left, unseen, unclear.
So I wonder, in the quiet of night,
Am I enough, or just a fight?
I don’t know what my purpose is yet,
But in this struggle, I’ve learned to forget.
I’m supposed to lead, but all I see,
Are the shattered pieces of who I could be.
I carry self-doubt and endless strain,
Validation from others, my constant chain.
But in the dark, I’m left to roam,
Wishing for a place to call home.
Apr 3, 2025
Apr 3, 2025 at 11:28 PM UTC
At first
My abuser dresses like a prince on a white horse
Speaks like a true gentleman
And keeps tabs on all my fears and discomforts
'cause he "cares"
Than
He smiles for the camera while twisting my arm under the table
He means "well"
He convinces me that my pale and expressionless face is more beautiful than ever
In the end
For a good while I confuse my weakened heartbeat and the numbness running through my veins for the "calmness"
But than
In the pitch black of the reality
I see a diminishing flame flickering inside me
In its light
My dreary reflection reassembles a way out
Nov 22, 2024
Nov 22, 2024 at 9:33 AM UTC
I am a quitter, yes, I’ll say it loud—
I quit being lost in your shadowed crowd.
I quit being your fool, your pawn, your game,
I quit letting you burn me in silent shame.
I quit the tears, the endless nights,
I quit the weight of losing fights.
I quit seeing your narcissist way
While losing myself day by day.
I quit loving the lies you sold,
The promises wrapped in hearts grown cold.
I quit, I quit—you've had your say,
But I choose myself in every way.
Your smile once captured, your charm once chained,
Your touch a spell that I entertained.
But no longer, no more, I break that hold,
My heart unbound, my spirit bold.
So here’s to the quitters who rise and heal,
Who reclaim their souls and learn to feel.
We quit the pain, we quit the ache,
We quit the love that only takes.
In quitting you, I find my start—
A newfound power, a whole new heart.
For I am not yours to use or break—
I am the fire you could never take.
So to all who’ve known this twisted love,
Who’ve felt the pull but rise above—
We quit, we soar, we set things right,
With heads held high, we walk toward light.
Nov 10, 2024
Nov 10, 2024 at 9:09 AM UTC
and she emerges, her wings
taking shape into the spring of youth
a crimson butterfly painting with her blood
against your words of expectation.
she is
beautiful, free.
deciding against the whims of men
so intent on criticizing her very nature.
and she becomes the sun, burning brightly with her blade.
Sep 29, 2022
Sep 29, 2022 at 3:41 PM UTC
Family values, disintegrate with every sip you take,
With every lie, with every accusation you make,
You want me to die, so take me out,
Remove me from your lineage, I'll be free of doubt,
Growing up with no direction, no where to go,
So you drag me down deep, you drag me so low,
How can you love me and hate me the same,
You keep me around to have a place to project the blame,
An innocent child, grew up way too fast,
Always running from and fearing what's in my past,
I long for the day that I'm strong enough to forgive,
For that is the day I finally start to live.
Jul 3, 2020
Jul 3, 2020 at 9:35 PM UTC
i haven’t written in forever
even though i know it lights up my soul
sometimes it just scares me to unleash the girl within these ribs and see that she’s dying to grow
i love the comfort and stability of having it the same
change scares me, no, it terrifies me
but no change is my middle name
but here i am writing these words onto paper
expressing myself
shining my light or whatever
diving deeper into my brain
breaking open my chest and allowing this woman inside me out
she’s here, and she has so many words to shout
May 4, 2020
May 4, 2020 at 11:04 PM UTC
This is for you,
My love, My darling.
My words shine above the darkest hour.
Ripping through that fog,
Like lightning.
Life has ways,
Putting its blade to our throats.
Demanding surrender.
Killing our very souls within.
Yet,
We remember.
Ah!
Yes!
We remember!
But...
There you are,
In a corner,
Surrounded by darkness.
Your body breaking under the pressure.
Your eyes bloodshot,
Heart racing.
Breathing erratic.
I tear through this storm,
Searching for you.
Whispering your name,
Along the waves.
Reaching you,
Hasn't been easy.
Has had hardships.
Even in my regret of past mistakes,
Your love for me shines bright.
Guiding me through the dark.
To you.
You,
Who calls out my name.
Begging for me.
Desperate to break free of the dark.
That caresses your skin.
Calling for your Jewel,
That you hold dear.
Fear not this night,
My love.
My soulmate.
My hand reaching out to you,
As the mist clears.
I kneel.
Your eyes meeting mine.
"Don't be afraid,"
"Don't give in to this.. I am here."
Tears splash our faces,
We embrace each other.
Letting all wash away.
Darkness has no place here.
Life will not break us down.
You and I,
Are One.
Forever And Always.
Nov 23, 2018
Nov 23, 2018 at 10:08 PM UTC
His hands were in my hair one moment and around my neck the next
He is the epitome of complexity
He is the man I love the most in this world
He is...
Our relationship is complicated
He loves me and I know it
When I am sad, he will comfort me
When I cry, he wraps me in his arms and holds me tight, telling me everything is going to be okay
When I succeed, he cheers on the sidelines, his face filled with pride
But I have become accustomed to being a doll
A trophy
When he is not right, he is right anyways
When he is angry, there is always someone else on the receiving end
There is always another to be blamed
Until now, I never knew I could be right
I didn’t know the freedom I could have
I didn’t know that there were guys who could be patient, would let me have an opinion, would let me be me instead of a trophy
I didn't know I was a person
My own entity
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 8:10 PM UTC
*if you want to leave the door is open,
If you want to leave feel free to make me free,
I tried to show you the truth,
But you blind from head over hate,
You’re mad over things that never happened,
Say I cheated I’ll say your insane,
I never cheated it was all a game,
Now u left me I seem to gain fame,
I don’t know why I bother you held me back,
Now I see you’re the one that made me attack,
I though you were the one to set me free,
You locked me up now I’m breaking out,
I can't believe I tried to save us,
You never cared about our fate,
With you anything could be done,
Now you nothing I’m f*king done,
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 11:05 PM UTC
born in illusory chains
gnarled metal
encrusted in my broken skin
the copper colored dust
of rusted steel
infectiously envelopes
shaving off antiquated layers
of fundamentalist religion
encrusted for generations
unpeeled until raw
an unsophisticated method
unveiling
ancient lodged glass shards
colored with deceit
brought before their court
interrogated
unfathomably skewered
an eerie salem witch trial
in modern times
barbarically they shun me
banished
i wander aimlessly
smelling the rotten decay of deceased community
as splinters pierce my feet
from the crooked wooden plank
i walk alone now
an unfathomable inner ache
kindled a residue within
igniting a wildfire from the darkest shadows
uncontainably erupting
i dance savagely
naked in the orange moonlight
and in every shaded edge
lit my soul ablaze
i am a nomad sheep
‘tho not one of their color
no pasture to contain me
no shepherd i can follow
theological safety nets
no longer there to catch me
bohemian-like
i plunge
free falling
plummeting
stripped wide open
magically
fearlessness
reverses gravitation
floating
untethered
i soar amongst
apricot tinged clouds
my skin still wet from rebirth
and rise with the flaming coral sun
you cannot destroy me
i twisted in your decrepit pencil sharpener
and with fresh mettle
cut through the chains that bound
you can have my ego
but you cannot have my soul
dismantling domestication
transcending limitation
wildly untamed
i fly
©2016janetaylor
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 6:40 AM UTC
i am a passenger
free to roam on the east sides
of redundancy and table manners
flower markets thrive on dawn skies
arranged as tourist spots
the baker's fair selling eggshells
cracked on cobblestone soup
meatpies sold out too soon
appleseeds scattered for birds
i sweep them all up
and see patterns grow on my skin
let it not be said i did not try, i did not do
for too soon the the heat covers the shade as well
and not even the acacia can go without thirst
fill my cup with honeydew milk
and add bittergourd and salt
i can let philistine warriors come from the backroads
and enter the frontlines
if only to join you
Mar 18, 2016
Mar 18, 2016 at 12:25 AM UTC
*I have been born
over and over
many times ago.
In familiar pieces.
In different suits.
The new blood
rushing to my head.
I end up delivered
tangled in my own
fancy knots.
Waiting for someone
like you to unbind me
yet again.*
Dec 22, 2015
Dec 22, 2015 at 3:43 PM UTC
how beautiful
it is to be alone,
on my own,
for i am
complete, wonderful
and without a need
to be loved
by anyone else
because this Light
remains real
especially without you
and your attention;
this is not bitterness,
old friend, it is grattitude
for leaving
and letting go
has been more than
I would have ever planned,
so, let the winds blow you
away, away, away
and the rains
drop, drop, drop
that will lead you
far from me
from us
from those you left
left behind
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 12:01 PM UTC
Ultra Violet magnetic field of high voltage adrenaline showers the streets like speeding sports cars.
It's a rare occurrence of unregulated foreign madness.
I felt my inner chambers open and through them I explored my city in a new fashion.
Pulsating skies and electronica vibes.
Golden halos fall all around and the people, all friendly faces, liberated from their steel rooms.
I can hear the cries in the air.
A step closer, a heart willing to beat louder. A flower courageous enough to grow within the industrial tombs of the living dead. A divine light is what is lighting their way out of miserable decay.
- C.Ek
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 2, 2015 at 8:17 PM UTC
I've watched the sun rise and set
While the wave crashed down
I've waited out here for you
Hope the winds would bring you back to me
I've waged war with these rough sea
But my love the current has taken you to far
And I'm afraid I can't get to you
So this is my farewell to you
I've set sail with a new direction.
Jul 30, 2015
Jul 30, 2015 at 6:28 PM UTC
You'te holding on me to tight.
Give me no space to breath.
You hold me so close.
Never give me room to grow.
Sorry but I can't do this no more.
I want to break free.
Want you to let me go.
Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 2:15 PM UTC
You told me you care
that you would always be there
I wanted to have faith
but that's a mere wraith
I gave you my soul
and you put me in a hole
When ever i tried to climb you just pushed me down
You always blamed me for the reasons of your frown
I am done with you now
I will no longer bow
Your power over me is broken
and I am now free
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 8:06 PM UTC
There Is A Hell, Believe Me.
I've Seen It, I Have Been Through It.
That Is Why I Understand How You Felt
When You Were In It
Hold My Hands And Trust Me
Lets Go Through It And Lets Break Free From It
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 1:08 PM UTC