#breakdowns - Hello Poetry

How many times have I quietly sobbed today? Finally letting my walls down as I let myself know I am alone. The room is filled with heavy gasps of air, only for my ears to hear. No, these aren't your regular inhales and exhales. They come with little sobs and whimpers that changes your breathing, They come with sharp pains in your chest as if you're drowning, They come with little pools of water that has the capacity to carry an immense weight of sadness. Defying the Laws of Physics, wetting your face that never seems to stay dry with each little drop. All at once, You feel as they come at you. Like a firework had just been lit, prepared for what's to come on the 4th of July. . . . . Suddenly, all these that surges from you stops. Your ears ***** on slow yet heavy thumping sounds . . . ! footsteps You get up, and the fireworks in your chest fall at once to your hollow stomach. Making a crashing noise of empty cans on shards of previously broken glass. You wipe your tears and stare back, as your reflection in the mirror smiles at you. a fleeting moment of hate and disappointment pass through your mind Inhale. . . . . . . .Exhale **"it's sharp and it stings... ...it's tight and all very familiar"** A new task has begun as soon as you end one, and just as quick a routine ends and night awakens.... The same routine awaits to greet you, once the Sun wakes the world.

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Jan 12, 2021

Jan 12, 2021 at 12:17 AM UTC

mynemosyne

The Story of a Minute

How many times have I quietly sobbed today? Finally letting my walls down as I let myself know I am alone. The room is filled with heavy gasps of air, only for my ears to hear. No, these aren't your regular inhales and exhales. They come with little sobs and whimpers that changes your breathing, They come with sharp pains in your chest as if you're drowning, They come with little pools of water that has the capacity to carry an immense weight of sadness. Defying the Laws of Physics, wetting your face that never seems to stay dry with each little drop. All at once, You feel as they come at you. Like a firework had just been lit, prepared for what's to come on the 4th of July. . . . . Suddenly, all these that surges from you stops. Your ears ***** on slow yet heavy thumping sounds . . . ! footsteps You get up, and the fireworks in your chest fall at once to your hollow stomach. Making a crashing noise of empty cans on shards of previously broken glass. You wipe your tears and stare back, as your reflection in the mirror smiles at you. a fleeting moment of hate and disappointment pass through your mind Inhale. . . . . . . .Exhale **"it's sharp and it stings... ...it's tight and all very familiar"** A new task has begun as soon as you end one, and just as quick a routine ends and night awakens.... The same routine awaits to greet you, once the Sun wakes the world.

36

I can feel the cogs in my brain getting loose again, Not quite fitting - not quite spinning in time, Spitting sparks that fly, ignite and burn Bringing light to dark corners and melting locks that keep the past in its box. I pandora, so out of time, moving towards and away from you As I find my feet dancing in complex rhythms Driven by the drums of my demons that have learnt to remove their muzzles and sing Do you see this vessel shake out of tune? Do you feel the tremors that set muscles moving to the moments of memory? There is a girl that wants you to notice and wrap her up There is a girl that wants you to notice and give her up There is a girl that hopes you never notice something is up In my head again, Upheaved I can't quite sit still again, can't quite smile straight again. can't quite sleep right again so these pills sit tight on my tongue again Blue like my blood that calls out for more Blue like the bruises only my eyes still see Blue like the unsafe flame our science teacher warned us of, This blue has become apart of the essence of me Hot, I flicker in shades of the ocean, And blue flames flicker with violence I move blue, I move blind, With these waves in my mind That crash hard And lap slow. I can only apologise for the temper of my tides This sea is angry still, sad still, yet loves you still. I pray ur boat sails strong.

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Feb 28, 2020

Feb 28, 2020 at 2:28 PM UTC

hcs-words

I burn in shades of blue

I can feel the cogs in my brain getting loose again, Not quite fitting - not quite spinning in time, Spitting sparks that fly, ignite and burn Bringing light to dark corners and melting locks that keep the past in its box. I pandora, so out of time, moving towards and away from you As I find my feet dancing in complex rhythms Driven by the drums of my demons that have learnt to remove their muzzles and sing Do you see this vessel shake out of tune? Do you feel the tremors that set muscles moving to the moments of memory? There is a girl that wants you to notice and wrap her up There is a girl that wants you to notice and give her up There is a girl that hopes you never notice something is up In my head again, Upheaved I can't quite sit still again, can't quite smile straight again. can't quite sleep right again so these pills sit tight on my tongue again Blue like my blood that calls out for more Blue like the bruises only my eyes still see Blue like the unsafe flame our science teacher warned us of, This blue has become apart of the essence of me Hot, I flicker in shades of the ocean, And blue flames flicker with violence I move blue, I move blind, With these waves in my mind That crash hard And lap slow. I can only apologise for the temper of my tides This sea is angry still, sad still, yet loves you still. I pray ur boat sails strong.

34

I can't stop Accelerating my the second Salty tears are flooding my eyes Air stuffing my windpipe Each breath is spiralling upwards I feel it all at once Years of hungry pain rushing into me The sorrow is starving for my cries So it pulls and twists and stabs My voice is muted Death is craving me more and more Longing to meet again To bleed me dry And drain me away

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Jan 26, 2019

Jan 26, 2019 at 3:23 PM UTC

Lieke

Empty Screams

I can't stop Accelerating my the second Salty tears are flooding my eyes Air stuffing my windpipe Each breath is spiralling upwards I feel it all at once Years of hungry pain rushing into me The sorrow is starving for my cries So it pulls and twists and stabs My voice is muted Death is craving me more and more Longing to meet again To bleed me dry And drain me away

14

For years, I didn’t understand why my brain deprived me of stability I hid the cracks in my mental with glue Now it seems the glue has aged and I’m struggling to hold it together And you tell me that I’m getting sadness all over the carpet I’m sorry I’ll try and be suicidal more quietly

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Dec 2, 2017

Dec 2, 2017 at 3:07 AM UTC

jayce

Untitled

For years, I didn’t understand why my brain deprived me of stability I hid the cracks in my mental with glue Now it seems the glue has aged and I’m struggling to hold it together And you tell me that I’m getting sadness all over the carpet I’m sorry I’ll try and be suicidal more quietly

6

She's a beauty I am her breakdowns. She smiles, I turn it upside down. I am a force that can't be taken down. Yes,I lied.She cries Broken necklaces and rusted rings. I tell her we'll be all right. Broken, yet she sings. She's a beauty. I am her breakdowns. When the world's screams, I will drown the sounds.

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Nov 30, 2015

Nov 30, 2015 at 10:52 AM UTC

andwhentheshipsails

beauty and the breakdowns.

She's a beauty I am her breakdowns. She smiles, I turn it upside down. I am a force that can't be taken down. Yes,I lied.She cries Broken necklaces and rusted rings. I tell her we'll be all right. Broken, yet she sings. She's a beauty. I am her breakdowns. When the world's screams, I will drown the sounds.

13

how many drugs, or bruises or breakdowns or anxiety attacks or sighs or fake smiles or silence it will take until someone, a n y o n e realizes that I, need saving.

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Jun 20, 2014

Jun 20, 2014 at 7:47 PM UTC

kay-la

I sometimes wonder,

how many drugs, or bruises or breakdowns or anxiety attacks or sighs or fake smiles or silence it will take until someone, a n y o n e realizes that I, need saving.

12