#bloodstains
The heaviness on my chest,
the strangled breaths stinking of wafting toxicity,
the bloodstains on my hands
from a ****
My mind is whirling,
and I wonder
if this is it
if this is insanity distorted past reality
if I am truly lost in this labyrinth of twisted smiles and white lies
if I have finally finally turned myself into a monster.
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 2:33 AM UTC
i used to wake up with sore eyes and black bruises i've never seen before
i'd look for long cigarette butts half full beers and forgotten liquor drinks
i had two cow licks that stuck up like horns
i had thick cigarette smoke like peanut butter and puddles in the kitchen that leaked from the trash bags into the rug
i'd paste cardboard boxes and ripped up comic books together with my drawings
in permanent marker and scribbled edges of ballpoint pen and colored pencil coupled with
writings of philosophic schizophrenic machine gun word salad
that ran off the page and
onto the walls
i had slippers i'd worn out months ago and shirts i washed in the shower
with dish soap
i had flies that flew around in circles until they got smacked or fell dead
i'd climb up on the roof in the afternoon
throw bottles in the street and **** off the side
i welcomed the dirt the bloodstains and the deep cough
i loved it but mostly hated it
and i'll never forget it
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 2:59 PM UTC
Unfrozen, surviving in miles of silent wasteland
Somehow risen from cold to my feet, but not breathing
Am I flawless that I drift so lightly with a Western wind?
Or so flawed that I don't admit I'm desperate for coming home
The final night with my elbows on the throne
Laughing over longing after end to the infinite.
Beheld well with the highest intention to flatter you
Maybe I'll die in laughter when you realize I invite you to bitterness,
brittleness to the shattering for which I'll want you close
Because with another's bloodstains I can live alone
Using what I've siphoned to make my ill-advised scratches on tablets on tabletops.
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 2:14 AM UTC
blood-stained battlements stare,
once harsh white,
now, deeply dyed,
with our loss of innocence,
the pain is evident,
the sorrow obvious,
but the halo of hell alight,
forever burning,
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 12:08 PM UTC
Bloodstains staring back at me,
Illuminating every part warmly.
Blanketing the entire floor,
Ingrained into each pore.
Disinfect to a high degree.
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 7:46 PM UTC
Sparkling eyes,
Perfect eyes,
Looking up at the night sky.
The night contented with itself
Mocks the man,
And stares at him strangely.
The man maddened with himself
Watches in the mirror,
Not his admired or braved self,
Not what people call him-
The man who feels no pain,
But his terrible and lifeless self,
His twisted reality.
Plenty of bloodstains colour his white bed,
Deep scars on his body are not so deep for him,
Unforgettable injuries are still forgettable for him.
He lets out a final sigh,
And stabs himself,
Looking up at the night sky,
With his sparkling eyes,
His perfect eyes,
Longing for pain,
Fear,
Suffering...
Aug 2, 2019
Aug 2, 2019 at 9:28 AM UTC
Here I was thinking
I looked all dapper:
With my cream pants,
Cteam top with a woven stitch waver,
And my cream suit jacket.
My royal blue glasses
Shielding my eyes from the rays of the morning sun,
But a small nick to my pinky finger
Left blood stains a run…
We all walk around life
With our pains imprinted in our skin,
And sometimes clothing.
As much as we try to hide in,
Wash away impurities,
We are left stained —
With life.
Dec 12, 2024
Dec 12, 2024 at 5:32 PM UTC