#betrayl
The halo fades, but the tension stays behind
As Charlie searches for the words she cannot find
She touches her lips, a dazed and golden stare
While the scent of ozone lingers in the air
From the corner's gloom, a heavy footfall rings
Not the flutter of a Seraph’s many wings
Vaggie steps forward, her eye a piercing spark
A jagged silhouette emerging from the dark
"I saw her, Charlie," the fallen soldier sighs
With a thousand questions burning in her eyes
The protector’s spear is lowered, but her heart is tight
Torn between her duty and the morning light
Charlie stammers, reaching for a steady hand
As two worlds shift beneath the hotel's sand
Vaggie doesn't shout, she doesn't turn away
She simply watches where the Seraph used to play
A silent pact is forged within the dim-lit hall
To catch the princess should the Seraph make her fall
The secret grows, a shadow on the floor
As Vaggie stands guard beside the heavy door
Jan 16
Jan 16, 2026 at 2:41 PM UTC
A friend so fair and bright,
With words that cut like a knife.
They'd stab me in the back,
With lies and deceit in their track.
Their smiling face, a mask of deceit,
Their heart, a pit of greed and hate.
They'd take my trust, and break my heart,
With every word, they'd tear us apart.
Their loyalty, a mirage in the sand,
Their friendship, a poisoned brand.
They'd whisper lies in my ear,
And laugh as I shed a tear.
But still, I'd hold on to the hope,
That one day, they'd change their scope.
That they'd see the harm they've done,
And make amends, before the sun.
But alas, it's just a dream,
For they are lost in their own scheme.
And I am left to weep and mourn,
The loss of a friend, forever torn.
Sep 23, 2024
Sep 23, 2024 at 9:22 PM UTC
The weekend is only two days away,
Throughout the week my heart aches.
I'm sick of society, expectations and pressure
All I want to do is to leave for an adventure.
Where would I go? If the opportunity arose,
I think I'd go everywhere, searching for home.
No where has ever felt like one for me,
I've always had issues with how I'm perceived.
I have moments where I wonder who will leave,
and who will stay after seeing my true face.
Some people have become sick of my ways
And left before seeing that we aren't the same.
It surprised me and I felt betrayed,
The pain that comes along with goodbye
Is almost as bad as the silence that subsides
after rain has fallen all night.
Dec 27, 2023
Dec 27, 2023 at 9:04 AM UTC
Honestly, I was paralysed
Quick breathed, chest choking kind
That numbs to the tips of fingers
And the bottom of the heart,
Feet spread wide apart as if I ever stood a chance of taking the blow.
Its stings,
bleary eyed I'm blinking and rubbing at the skin, massage the redness away;
All that nasty shame and the ridiculous burn of guilt
That has me wilting round my shadow.
I think I might have seen something,
Hints bleeding into the beauty of blissfull ignorance and dulling the gleam,
Blinkers just a little skew-wiff
To let the light in and shine on your bare ***
Going to town between someone else's legs.
You dont look half as nice now,
Your flesh is pale and hair curls darkly
And its gross, like those meaty moans
That make you sound like a boar.
I can't call her a ***** not really,
But shes enjoying herself with the lie of one
Screaming obscenities to God
As if hed take time out of his
Busy schedule to fulfil her voyeristic fantasies,
Deity bowing his head to watch
You smash into her and smash us to pieces.
You're shuddering and shes faking those screams
There"s no glee in her eyes, just the simpering emptiness of making you feel like a man.
But your not, you're a coward
Who's **** is fond of flattery,
chases it like a puppy, perking up hopefully to be petted.
I dont think I'm upset anymore.
I'm out the door and rain falls cool on the ground
I'm crunching down the gravel,
shedding my committment,
It's has a satisfying sound that dies
Beaneath my boot as you stumble after me.
'It's not what you think'
It's funny because I honestly
Hadn't thought anything except
I'd never never seem you like that before;
Not so raw and pasty
And ugly.
Maybe you'll meander back into my mind
As divine as you have been before
But right now I deplore the memory.
I dont love you
Because I dont know who you are.
Jan 23, 2021
Jan 23, 2021 at 12:35 PM UTC
The apple of my eye
The sun in my sky
Even though it feels like needles in my nerves
I keep those memories close by
On my toast I’m smearing strawberry preserves
The day that I’ve gotten justice is the day he’ll get what he deserves
I’m manifesting my own death
Fantasizing taking my last breath
I can’t melt my favorite wax cubes because all they do is remind me of you
I can’t listen to my favorite song because all I hear when I listen is your sweet little voice singing along
His heart was in my wallet
I’m crying cause I called it
I wrap an arm around myself in attempts to find some solace but I’m missing my other half
I tell myself I know where I’m going but I’m scared to continue down this dark and narrow path
But I know I’ve got to be strong
I don’t want to be where I don’t belong
I swear these days are getting real long
I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 2:25 PM UTC
people pull you down,
hurt you,
make you feel worthless
Yet.
they cheer you on
help you,
and heal you
so keep a eye on this tragedy of the universe
Jun 1, 2020
Jun 1, 2020 at 7:16 AM UTC
Planted with love,
watered by compassion,
fertilized with the light of our presence.
But it was all an illusion,
for the it was planted in betrayal,
watered with disappointments,
fertilized with lies
and maintained by fakes.
Our roses were red,
but now they are dead.
Weak and brittle petals,
crumbling beneath my feet.
Jul 25, 2019
Jul 25, 2019 at 3:59 AM UTC
Like a harbour docked with ships ,
That Leave and arrive in the guidance of a light house, is my heart.
A shelter to the arriving and departing love.
Yes, but...non-guided.
Wrecked,Wretched and awful.
That once rented a gruesome space
to a soujourner.
A tenent unknown and untrustworthy.
Mar 21, 2019
Mar 21, 2019 at 8:59 AM UTC
Haha i lied
I tried to hide
I am just so tired
Of crying
I kept the facade up
Really believed myself
When i said
I wasnt bothered
yet i stood there
My heart breaking
At each word she said
About laying in that bed
With you
Seeing you
Ignoring me
And wanting her
Talking to her
Like you did me
It wasmt just jealousy
But pure hurt
Now I cry
And i ask why
******* why
Everyone makes me die
A little more each time
My heart really hurts
How cruel to me
You didnt have to be
I was happy with what we had
You pushed me away like trash
And she took my feelings
And ripped them apart
Ruthelssly she came at me
Eyes wide open shamelessly
Telling me her exploits
As she stomped on my heart
In front of everyone
I smiled as she pounded
Twisted and churned
With a burning sledge
Maybe a bulldozer
It hurt more then anything
Yet i smiled becuase
What can i do
Jokingly tell you off
Is about all i can manage
Becuase it doesn't matter
To anyone but me
Lets face it
I'm nothing
Replaceable to all
Everyone waits for my fall
They see me crawl
And hit so many walls
They all laugh
Hurting me is ok
Beating my face in
In the middle of the day
It's cruel and unsual
But for me it's normal
Everyone watches
Noo ne cares
I'm in pain
I expected this
I did think of course
That when you moved on
You'd be a bit kinder
Then taking full force
And ripping me in half
Its okay
I'm sure you're a great guy
It's just me
My eyes
They speak to people
They tell everyone
To hurt me
In the sickest ways
I must have a price to pay
With god
I don't get normal
I get eternal damnation
And I'm still alive
When i see her face
Smiling with yours
My heart doesn't just break
It sinks
Into a dark hole
Taking my life and soul
The rest of my body
Falls angry and stabs
Stab
Stab
Stabs
Until i can't breathe
But i didn't want to cry
Therefore i drank
Because the poison
Soothed the anger
Id rather poison myself
Then let it out
Yet a song played
I wrote the words out
In my diary
And each mark
I put down
Reminded me
And brought a smile
Into a frown
Each memory escaped me
And then returned
Darker and unsettled
Now they hurt
But
Theyre in pen
I can shred the paper
Theyre still written
Even blowing through
The wind
So each mark i made
With each memory i tear
broke free
Now here i am
1am and I'm crying alone
The worst part is
Im so used to this
Yet it always hurts more
Each
*******
Time
I was so happy
I wore yellow
The day after
You touched my heart
Now i remember
Yellow was never
My color
I only know
Deep blue
The yellow is raining
The rain won't stop
It's cold and hailing
I keep failing
Everything
The storm is breaking
Im in it and shaking
The ground is quaking
Inside it's aching
Deep inside
That yellow dress
Is torn and bruised
My fingers bled too much
To fix it
I'm so sorry.
My pain never goes away
Im so sorry
The endless crying won't stop
Im so sorry
You hurt me
And I can't
Stop
Missing
You
Im sorry
I'm a fool
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 1:25 AM UTC
The grip is tight without remorse
Suppressing memories of my execution
Betrayal sharp and thin as a knife between the spine
The uneasieness of the crippling fear of defeat
Secrets so sick they stench of rotting flesh
Forgiveness is an elixir
A medicine for the pain
Abandon thyself in means
To achieve a place of tranquility
Self is all I have
Self will last indefinitely
Self betrayal is thick
Like mud on the bayou
Like oil on the water
An eye for an eye
Vengeance, as the mere result of vulnerability
Free yourself,
Let it go
Find a way to feed your soul.
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 2:30 PM UTC
Thoughts
of you
twist
and
turn
like
the knife
in my
heart
disjointing
every
part
of
me
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 8:19 PM UTC
Late night talks
Of boys that Ive loved in the past
none have ever loved me
Except one boy i thought truly understood me
For once in my life my feelings felt reciprocated
Possibly fell harder then I for them
We spent nights together laughing until dawn
We stayed up smiling all night fighting the yawns
He told me sweet things so casually i always wanted to hear
It wasnt a pickup line he just said how he felt
I felt a touch of this could finally be something for the first time
He made my heart and mind all a mess i could not rhyme
I wasnt afraid to be myself
He enjoyed every aspect of me
each night spent closer then the last
I grew to fall deeper
he made me love myself with all my so called sins
Too afraid to truly let it be
I ran away and hid
Thinking i ruined it all
he seemed to understand and not blame my fall
It was all happening
A real date something only in fantasy
Twas to happen after I confessed myself to him
the nights went by and i felt a sharp pin
My heart filled with worry as the day grew close
He went silent as a complete ghost
I wrote him with a sliver of hope the night before
He casually said nah I'll go with this other *****
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 12:08 AM UTC
where do i start
There are so many thoughts racing
Trying to find a finish line
But before they ever can a new one begins
And somehow they keep leading
To thoughts about you
The things you did to me
How sick you made me feel
I was so obsessed with you for so long
You ****** me over more then i can even understand
I thought once i said no more
That meant i would never have to think of you again
Yet your disgrace lingers
The pain you caused
Is still on my face
You're shaking my life
Please go the **** away
You make my skin crawl
Until i cant even sleep at all
I want you to go away
Why wont you go away
I wanted you to mature
To be someone better
I saw the ugly within you
But i hate to hate
Now i see
You still wont let me be
I want to make you go away
Please just go away
Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away
I told you
I told everyone
Yet your disgrace
Only seems to hit me
in the face
I hear your name spread through the wind
By people who adore you
Why do people hold onto evil
And close their eyes to the good
Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away
One day when i write
It won't be about you or the distaste of your soul
One day I'll write a beautiful song
Of the women i let myself become
I want to write such beautiful poems
But inside i feel such a disgust
Everyrhing i write is absolute trash
Simply because i know not how to write of such vile natures
Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away
I said goodbye to you and meant it
Noone believed me they called me a liar
I'll do whatveer it takes
To never hear the curse of your name
When I'm free i can finally
Pray for your sorry soul
But while you stay and torment me
I only wish for your absolute hell
So please
Go away
Far away
Never stay
Just go away
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018 at 1:16 AM UTC
I am losing myself
Everything is
crumbling
shattering
snd scattering.
Masks are coming off
Truth is coming to light.
Fake ones start to claim their identity
and people are leaving,
the ones I thought wouldn’t leave.
The light escapes me
and dull colors swift past me.
I have lost my care
I have lost my love
Lost my innocence
And lost my guilt.
Everything that made me, me
Is now gone.
So tell me,
is it me who you’re looking for?
Because that girl is breathing no more.
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 3:34 AM UTC
Thou art Judas in but feminine form,
a rose with no petals, just prickly thorns.
You whisper and converse with the devils
wherein your shadows & silhouettes are born.
Veiled in a disguise considered truth and level,
yet for those seeking the reality,
they shall see upon your head
those hellish horns.
You are a succubus born and bred,
filled with hatred and scorn.
Preying on innocent people
by pretending to be a "friend"
when in reality,
you are the devil's first born.
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 9:22 PM UTC
I've been used like the shoes your ***** feet walk on.
treated as a shower and left to scour your filthy mistakes away.
I've felt like the bed whose heart has bled because it's taken for granted.
Pierced like an earring, your ears are not hearing because you never listen.
I'm not your clay of which you play, don't mold me to your liking.
I am a flower who now holds some power, standing tall and standing strong.
For you are the knife whose blade is now dull from stabbing me all your life.
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 2:22 AM UTC
Was it not love because I didn’t give my life up for you?
Were my sacrifices not enough?
Was I supposed to stand back and let you take control?
Or was it that you simply couldn’t love me the way I loved you.
The truth is, I loved you in ways you could never understand.
I would go to the ends of the earth to be with you, but you wouldn’t for me.
And so tell me, was it not love?
{df – 11/11/16-}
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017 at 4:57 PM UTC
I truly do wish
I could be more like you,
to live life without regret.
Won't you teach me
how to do as you do?
I promise to never forget...
First, clarify
just how to fake love
so others see it as real.
Then drain my soul
until it's void of
any feelings it may feel.
Instruct my heart
how not to break,
and like yours, turn to stone.
I'd never know loss
with nothing at stake;
I'd never be hurting alone.
Now demonstrate how
to walk out and leave
without ever saying goodbye.
Do disclose how
you so easily deceive...
teach me just how to lie.
Train my eyes
to shed no more tears;
reveal where pain should hide.
Then teach me how
to confine my fears,
keeping them all locked inside.
I must know how
to ignore the lust
found in a passionate kiss.
Then un-teach my mind
the meaning of trust
so I'll never again feel like this!
Now explain how
I can forget our love,
make me believe it wasn't true.....
And then when I master
all the above,
then, I will be more like you.
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 10:45 PM UTC
Dear Mama, you taught me well,
but that's something I'd never tell,
cause complacency is what you preached,
so silence is what I reached.
Mama, you taught me well,
to sit and fiddle, do not wail,
but my emotions are worth much more,
when they aren't hidden behind the door.
Mama, you taught me well,
wishing for naught, I let myself dwell,
and so I idolized all the wrong people,
and followed demands like sheeple.
Mama, you taught me well,
to allow myself to mask my yell,
my tears, my frigid fears, my feelings unspoken,
when my heart lay here so broken.
Mama, you taught me well,
to lock myself into my own cell,
and now I feel I need release,
my soul deserves to be at peace.
Dear Mama, you taught me well,
but this sort of life I wish to quell,
and so I say I must change,
your lessons to me, estrange.
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 1:37 PM UTC
I know I promised
I'd never write about you again
but it's five am and I am left
with this visceral feeling of
loss and anger
I use to think you stripped
Me of everything
Now I realize you didn't.
See, I forgot about the cross
The burden of love
You sentenced me to
Your name is Judas
and I will accept
the crown of thorns
and become a martyr
for ever believing that
true love existed
in your eyes
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 4:09 PM UTC