All things considered I want you all to myself
It’s flattering to me when you reach the top shelf
Hold myself to standards that I know I will never meet
List off all the reasons I’m feeling so defeat
Everything I’ve loved finally will resurrect
I will be forgiven for all of my neglect
And at last I come to terms that we will never truly connect
I’m convinced these feelings are defective
I wish you could see it from this perspective
Hope that you can’t sleep without me
Hope that you dream about me
Why I always fall for people who don’t think about me
I’m really missing the way it feels when you’re missing me
Dec 22, 2020
Dec 22, 2020 at 6:05 PM UTC
Close my eyes with these tears in them
Hope that they’ll just go away
If I only get half of what I ask for
Then what is the point if I ******* pray
I feel silly on my knees
Praying to something I don’t even believe
I want to make you ******* cry
That’s the only way I can make it right
I want to break your ******* heart
Give you the world and then tear it apart
I want to ruin your ******* day
All of these ******* memories are on replay
I’m sick of this nostalgia always taking me back to you
I want to drink this bleach and hope that you feel it too
I guess these just might be my last words
I’d like not to think about it
Let’s just enjoy this moment
I can name the different birds
I wonder how it feels to fly
I wonder how many times you can cross my mind
I wonder if I will ever get to die
I wonder if you left because I’m the reason why
I wonder if I will ever learn my ******* lesson
I wonder what you’re doing at this very second
Dec 22, 2020
Dec 22, 2020 at 1:40 AM UTC
The apple of my eye
The sun in my sky
Even though it feels like needles in my nerves
I keep those memories close by
On my toast I’m smearing strawberry preserves
The day that I’ve gotten justice is the day he’ll get what he deserves
I’m manifesting my own death
Fantasizing taking my last breath
I can’t melt my favorite wax cubes because all they do is remind me of you
I can’t listen to my favorite song because all I hear when I listen is your sweet little voice singing along
His heart was in my wallet
I’m crying cause I called it
I wrap an arm around myself in attempts to find some solace but I’m missing my other half
I tell myself I know where I’m going but I’m scared to continue down this dark and narrow path
But I know I’ve got to be strong
I don’t want to be where I don’t belong
I swear these days are getting real long
I don’t like to admit when I’m wrong
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 2:25 PM UTC
You have a face with many prominent features and a head full of science fictional creatures
I don’t know how to express my gratitude for the way you hold me and cling onto the thought of making me feel not so lonely
I don’t know how to say that I can’t feel anything over this deep seeded pain and I don’t want to hurt you for a vain and selfish gain because to hurt you is to hurt me
I just want to hold hands and listen to jpeg wearing your favorite sweater that you only bust out for a certain kind of weather but for now I’m putting all of that beside me
Nothing you can say or do can pull me out of this melancholic mood
I can’t help but always note a looming impending feeling of doom
I try to tell myself it’s nothing
But I can feel my heart decay
There’s still a hole where he was
I get up off of the pavement
I gently brush off the dust
No, this is all out of arrangement
I’m calling off this self proclaimed engagement
This sweater is not orange enough to cancel out my blues
I don’t want to straight out say I love you but I’m dropping clues
Oh god my heart is all mixed up in the heat of this moment
My head is telling me to stop but arguably this is more important
I’m trying to be an optimist
Telling myself the best is yet to come regardless
But all hopeful thinking has ever gotten me was a boy with two fists fulls of utz chips that stole my heart just to break it
The kind of betrayal that comes when you lose your soul mate to a vain fate and you wonder why weren’t you enough and the pain is so much you can’t take it
It feels like a knife in my chest because I know it’s not enough to hope for the best
I don’t think that this will hurt so bad but wow you’ve really put me up to the test
You can have the rest of me
Oh god this can’t be how it’s meant to be
I’m bitter, I’m feeling emotions bigger than the whole huge wide ocean
I know I need to fight to find the strength to keep my heart open
These ***** rooms that smell of bleach
Pretty girls that do nothing but leech
I want to lick the grime off your bath tub and give you a nice back rub
I’m sorry that I still think of him I know you deserve the world and I want to give you nothing but that
Somehow I will find a word to describe the way you make my heart rock and my toes pop when we’re in your bed listening to mumble rap
I’m sorry this poem is so long and I’m sure by now you’re starting to feel your brain cells rot
I know I’m overthinking it so I’ll put down my keyboard and just ******* stop
Nov 2, 2020
Nov 2, 2020 at 3:16 AM UTC
I like the sound of his voice when he says a warm hearted synonym
I like when my room smells like cloves and cinnamon
I open up my sternum and I show him what’s inside
He will take advantage of this fragile heart of mine
I ask my mama not to worry
I tell her I don’t feel as bad as I look
I’m giving a half assed apology
Worth is not defined by that holy book
Shes vindictive so she doesn’t understand
When I tell her it’s not about getting even
It’s about the loss of a good man
He knows how to make me cry
He knows how to take the sun out of my sky
This phone does not work it is phony
Tell them in person that I am feeling lonely
The next time I decide to open up this sternum of mine
I will be prepared to see nothing inside
You can have the rest of me
I guess this is how it’s meant to be
I carry the weight of my heart and my head
I think of how great it must feel to be dead
I think of him and fill with dread
I think of when we would listen to jpeg together in his bed
This rooms empty without the sound of the static on his face time
He may not have said much but his company was divine
I will never fill this hole
I feel so alone
It hurts to reminisce
Letting go is pure bliss
Oct 7, 2020
Oct 7, 2020 at 2:22 PM UTC
You eat my skin in chunks
To you I serve it up
I hold you but I cant touch
The only thing I know is lust
I was so out of touch
With the moment you fell out of love
Id seen it with my own 2 eyes
But instead I chose to be blind
Stability in someone is hard to find
I really miss him a lot
Hes here but hes not
He tells me lies in selfish vain
I love him for a selfish gain
Bite away all of my fingers
The love we had haunts me and lingers
Oct 7, 2020
Oct 7, 2020 at 2:18 PM UTC