#beforetheinkwell
Sitting so peacefully on a window sill,
Eyeing the world as it sees you cry.
Your window becomes your gateway,
Your world, and your prison in hell.
A transparent frame to focus your sight
On the joys of others not known.
You’d love to be with them, but alas
You are a simple outcast behind glass.
As your heavy sigh breathes a canvas
You toy around with your written feelings.
This message, shown to the onlookers,
Will be your communication and aid tonight.
Send them the message that you want out,
Out of this life behind a clear barrier.
Find that the one looking inside your world
Could be your own self, wanting to look in.
© 2004
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 4:13 PM UTC
Sly chances fade into the day
Inviting inverted obsessions
Taking its pleasures from the air
Breathed deep by light
Stained by angels and lovers
Healing to hurt more than pain
Speaking on thirds of needs
Walking miles of uncured steel
Impure by the thirst hearts leak
Drenched in hour-less hopes unfed
Left stained by starvation's gluttony
Lonely as disciples of light and dark
Separated by the dawning sun and setting moon
Nervous and twitching, unwatched
Keeping eyes fixated on flowers
Wilting and blooming in seconds
Unlike the humanity settled in minds
Blaming until accusation converts to disease
Fearfully and wonderfully made in hell's garden
Cultivated in the arteries of misery and loathing
Claiming bodies when used to spread restlessness
Lost in every word, growing cycles, created and pursued
Called by name and underneath all faiths
A sightless demon, kind and malicious with fallen tears
Diluted and taken with holy darkness by prayer
Anointed and desecrated with motions of heat
Written in scars and infatuated on sect dreams
Instilled for the beast that beats in *******
Void of taint and unpredictable by reality
Less to imagine when used in vain on street corners
Currency for the pleasure trapped in forsaken lips
Shackled to flesh like the cemented wounds sought after
By the stories of remorse and unrivaled insecurities
In saviors' fleeting lights, forgotten in memories of stone
Deep inside the walls painted of regrets and distorted by anguish
Synthetic to thoughts unbound to promise relief of fear
Reborn on racks screened from shrines in ironed will
An invincible corruption that grinds and gnaws holes in sleep
Stranded upon the skin in waves of emotional force poured out
Bottled and sold to ****** the clever yet troubled waters of youth
Placed in sheets by pillows, laid down amidst the confusion
Unquestioned these still born children of non-bridled futures
Glistened with rings, torn by time and parted on death's inauguration
This is love, shadowed and justified, always undefeated for all
©2006
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:37 PM UTC
A soul left in darkness' wake can yet again be freed
For there's always a crown hidden behind the color of fire
And this fire can always warm a heart so cold
And yet smirks on burning time's tested and tempted dreams
To provide a sweet, yet bitter taste of love's own mercy
A gracious fall is love, the last denominator always is pain
And the pain is often greater than the love itself
At its shores there is hope, then the full and blue moons, light and bright sparks in stars
And within this hope, lie the wishes and dreams of the fallen few
Dormant as the saffron in the rocks, hushed as the silence in the glaciers
For a sinner's love is his love to sin
For a saint, it's the best sermon that life's seen
The rose slowly chokes under the gaze of discontent
*Charming as a black rose, a woeful soul now begins
Entwining into the lovelorn chains of thorns, white lilies altered to red*
Now as a feather falls to crush a heart
A speck of sand ending this meteoric blast
With the soul now resting in the darkness once again
The rose breathes a silent whisper and disappears into the air
Molding to be the enigma a lover beholds
The kaleidoscopic perfection of the faucets in life
To contradict the evils that is ever present in our hearts
© 2005
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:35 PM UTC
A fragrant night that keeps emotions nervous
An uncertainty that held hands, bound by trust
A falling of boundaries that separate the thoughts
This is the dream that poisoned water.
A callous entity calls a lover untrue
The life of one to banish a world to seclusion
These days of old to threaten the hours of new,
This is the heart that poisoned water.
Silent whispers that broke a decibel of skin
A feeling that betrays and leaves unbounded pain
Fed by the ripples of a confused desires of love
This is the poison that seeps into water.
Snippets of memories deteriorated in my hands
Anguish that sits in a vial, colored by the eyes
None drink, but the vials refill from the hurt that is poured
This the source of the poison in water.
© 2005
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
Yesterday, the tears woke again, thoughts of a curious passerby a land in which time forgets
On and on into this reality, this is a world of simplistic imperfection calling you within
Used for dedicated love, the seeds are never hated amongst the plenty, for it’s a cause of death
Gained by the dualities that exists and separate in the sanctity of our own neglectful hearts
Advanced your gentle mind into a world you don’t see, a love you don’t have, in the nothingness of hope
Ventured into her heart, her closed door should remain sealed, not for prying eyes
Enervated by thoughts held back, but the confusion brought to own the disease of life
Measured by the heart full, not by the rules and distance for an monthly god-stopper
Educate me in the rules you still don’t understand, but heed for pointless reasons
Abound to the psychopathic qualities in your haven, a joy for pain to relish in spite of loving
Bless a sweet taste left in your mouth, you’ve done so much for this, but the deserving must be
In desperation, to see the fruits of the vile tree, and eat thy fill until curiosity gains best
Trickling down faces, the red juice of pain, the immortal emotion for all to feel
Truth flows from droplets, craved by the disturbed dirt of aimless requisitions
Enter, and taste the end of all things to come and the beginning of all things to end
Reverbs of happiness appeal not, unspoken of your tongue, sacred blasphemy unto your skin
To idolize the principle in life unlike all others, the survival of the fleeting revolution
Aerated thoughts that drops your mind into pools of relaxed torture, kiss the calming hate
Sleep with the sins of life and become born again into a breed unknown of humanity
Torn and scattered within themselves, a hell that kills to love one another in anguish
End eternity spent with the fruits, as it leaves a bitter taste on your lips… a romance to spark us all.
© 2005
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC
Conscious thoughts of her crying for days on end
And more thoughts of how things could be, if changed
If given to her all the energy, that would take away
What would there be left to save, if she gave it up?
She’d take willingly the love, the one she’d ****
Not sure of how it will last, it was used up before
Insecurities within her silence, she’s been that way for days
But that’s the distance that she hates, what amazes her to do this
It is said it’s never too late to grow up and learn right
But there’s always another who looks at the past to laugh
At our mistakes as we love each other, afraid of it together
The pain separates equally, but you lived without me before
It’s no tragedy for trying, much worse guilt for sacrifice
Now tell me who’s lying and who’s given life yet another chance
To complicate the open talk, clench words in her fist
No pain with voiced raised, it was never there to begin
Holding on to hold more, to kiss clean the lips of the taint
She lives lonely in her world, still more waiting in her rage
And it eats at her insides… to think more of this trait
And it’s the only thing that will keep her amused
She takes what she wants and she gets what she claims
She’s waiting by the water, her only source for the calm
It’s the chance to heal her fear and time lies in wait
Prowling for the reason, the reason the hate won’t recede
Nowhere to go, yet there is a place to be
She wanders no roads and travels more than wind
Spanning across her dismal mindscape, hurt till no end
Disturbed by that one being that gave up so much for her
But could not give enough, so the living perished
Forgotten by the romancers of the stars, having their way
Disposable time for a replaceable feeling, she gave in to the hole
That consumed her little heart, blackened by the true words
© 2005
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:10 PM UTC
She cares for the child as her love did mature
Pleasure with herself once more in his embrace
Recreated and untainted till his eyes peer the world
Blinded by the fold of cloth against his face
Then comes the night and freedom of watch
And the child unwrapped his eyes to the darkness
The darkness with the eyes of a sad girl
Desperation with her lonely scarred shell
And with delightful confusion he
In turn cares for the darkness in her pain
Wiping tears and making joyous times bloom
Even in the worst of years as the secret is held
But the child was soon to be discovered
She had found his eyes tainted by love
And diffused with her tears his skin was moist
Thus his body began to unravel for the loose emotion
Quickly taking the darkness by her hand
She placed her own blood inside the fold
Sharp stings of uneasy pleasure shot forth
Steadfast are the bond now between them
This equivalent exchange of dark blood to canvas
That adds this source of evil to the re-creation
An inevitable mixture now with a solemn love
Of darkness and innocence which she had endured
© 2005
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:08 PM UTC
The limbs crying for so much more
Pain that it has never missed in its life
Lines so jagged like that of a rigged cliff
As her fingernails pursued their etchings
And she watched with glee with every action
No silence remorse, just a pure sensation of hope
That I would continue diving deeper than my need
Until she would be able to swim in all her lust for life
Condescension of tears falling crookedly from her eyes
Too much laughter that rested on her soft lips
That quickly took me in for her satisfaction
For the cuts that were never healed bleed more
Touching inside me, she ripped through me
Taking me apart slowly and putting together another me
A mere doll of my former past and my former mind
The betterment to her society and a shell conceived of pure love
And yet the sacrifice was hers alone that night
Giving up so much to please herself in her mind
And molding again what she had craved in life
To appease the struggle of eyes that followed her relentlessly
With her re-creation done, her canvas inanimate
Without the spark of a kiss to ignite his soul
She turns to his missing heart of blackened gold
And brings to life the love of her ill-fated past.
© 2005
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:06 PM UTC
I am a black foot angel, wingless and forgotten,
tasting immortal memories with stronger passion.
I will grab this bottle and toss eons of romance away
because the angel I loved broke my dark sky heart.
I sit underwater with the trees that sway upside down,
taking breaths of nitrogen mixed in with my tears.
All rocks unturned in the current that is never quenched,
darkened skin from the lava I bathe to heat my tranquility.
Cooled down in the rainforests that hide my dreams,
underneath the diseased soil for my incompetence.
I irrigate the lands I’ve sown in my lust to grow another day,
yet no fruition from my most fertile feelings from drought.
I follow the clouds that flood my misery in these valleys
and cry with the sun as it descends the haven of eyes,
speak with the moon that tells of lone lit stars and lovers
just to wait until it lullabies a quiet lunar night once more.
For the angels I knew that burst open my aerated wounds,
to caress the worry of mortal lives given to all sinners,
uneasy paths that fly upward as the rivers I sent unto my coasts
disgraced when I nail my hopeless love to the omnipotent cross.
Now I gently slip away into the kempt trunks of friends hidden,
an incredible place of secrecy and all-knowing substance,
only to leave again into the horizon that cuts me whole
from the pictures meant to make us all suffer internally.
I rest in the cradle of reality, born on a vine of trust,
this gracious corridor inside me is laden with unfamiliar doors.
My hope sparkles falsely under apprehension, which ruined the walls,
I point the finger, but can only blame the lost fool I see in my mirror.
I ponder my possibilities for flying back into that angel’s heart,
since I lay here in my bed, comatose to my clockwork feelings,
A newborn to a lovelorn life has grown feeble in understanding.
I await inanimate, inside as I cast my vessel into a new dedication of failure.
© 2004
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 3:01 PM UTC
Is the poisoning of hearts
Really the death of love?
Misshapen thoughts of assumptions
Claim tragedy within pure laughter.
Apologies wither as the forgotten &
Irreversible damage has been dealt.
Reveries of vicissitudes that scar
Hands that bleed endlessly.
It is not the cuts of silvered slashes
That can make some bleed on the inside.
Forgive me not, a sinner of all days, but
Do not fall into the abyss, fall into my arms.
Pain ceases as you draw close,
Wrapped within the flames of desire.
But a new pain begins, will it continue
To harm us or diminish with a cherry kiss?
Fail safe conclusion, hearted confessions
Unbeknownst to life but to lover's eye.
Forget-me-nots of white roses painted
Crimson by carved, etched hands.
Fear not the words I speak for they
Are never the end of my being.
They are the words of a forgotten moment
Tossed into the sea with anguished rain.
© 2004
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:59 PM UTC
An illusion to me was believing that the sun could be unset by
traveling this iced path laced with slippery regret.
But marked by my own accord, silvered bee stings from
nightly passions for crimes against myself.
Slithering softly a secretly silenced flow from blade tip
to skin deep are the fears held with the mind's first
traps.
Night-summers crept past my windows locked,
carefully observing my frame weaken from
failed attempts of drowning in my sleep.
As my heart slowed and breathing infrequent,
my mind wandered to darker halls, conversing
within myself for my own answers.
Rejection for help was an ambush set by my mind's second
maze.
All the leaves turned brown as the sky turned to gray
with an unfaithful thought to those I cherished.
With uttered sins against my enemies I lashed out,
"Till the last stands tall will I be undefeated."
Hubris being a blind path of death to the unwary disguises
Its self well within the needs of the suffering.
Tastes of abnormalities would tempt me to do what I did to
others to myself without choking up with hesitation in the third
riddle of my mind.
Daylight deceivers and no witness with a clue to what has gone
terribly wrong by fusing the thought of nine to one soul.
Recreation of my broken sky, a creation of myself as a product of
hurt by misleading lovers, blinded by love's desires to be accepted.
Life's lies lie in life's wake once your slumber has ended and your
eyes have awakened to the darkness of a fourth vision of an apocalyptic
mind.
Are they then over as they began their rampage?
No, never resting are tribulations of simple crimes
embossed to the sacred flesh of time itself.
Followed by my careful hand, shattered by the cares and worries,
I hold on to my broken shield of faith and pursue futures onward.
Thus, the last mistake, proven faulty at most, has been nothing more
than a grim reminiscence of why I exist. And so my mind fails to conceive
Its last oblivion.
© 2005
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:56 PM UTC
Silent sounds brush
The eerie calm chants.
We knew it would happen,
But when would it happen?
Sing to me the sweet pain
And stem not the bleeding.
Tell the tale of summer’s cold
And breathe in the flames of winter.
You can pass my eyes
Without a second glance,
As I lip sync my thoughts
Onto your soft skin.
Resist not motion
Of a cherry sensation
Sweet, yet wild as
A blossom in full bloom.
© 2004
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:54 PM UTC
Earthquakes due to a dropped feather
cause angels to fly underground
and demons to flood the skies.
Blood drips upward from crying eyes
while deep gnashes pour tears into the
dampening air.
Twisted words are humble as pie
but nice words are salt to the earth as
the grass cuts my skin.
Arctic prisons melt the sun with
cooling hate while we toy with the
lives of millions.
We never existed.
Mushroom people sitting around
all day, but who would believe you
when you've had too much sugar.
Let your mother pray for your death
as father prepares the swords and
pushes hilt deep past existence.
Apocalypse seems so futile now
as we already planned our demise.
We breathe, we live, we go.
We never existed.
We hide past our views on other
and we make broad assumptions
that were are not perfect.
Say it once, say it twice for
the guardian of Styx takes
all with the toll of time.
Sadness be it a disease or
an undying feeling for all
to bear in every way possible.
We never existed.
Be it a means to a life of
darkness or a life of light
Everything comes with a price
upon its own record.
Brace the darkness and brace
life giving force that compels
and attracts souls to unison.
Give up now or bear with
the truth of all things while
we wait and cry the night.
We never existed through
our own eyes, therefore
why should we start now?
Because. We. Never. Existed.
© 2004
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:51 PM UTC
‘cause I’m writing in the dark
And this light- it burns my eyes
This song, along with my soul,
Is fading with my cries
Nowhere I can turn
No one can help me here
No time left to grasp
Nothing to hold my fears
Darkest developments
Patience that once could live
A taste of the end so sweet
And nothing to give in return
Maybe I’m just scared
But I know that I’m scarred
To turn and walk away
Or runaway so far
© 2003
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:34 PM UTC
Peering through the dark
Wondering where I failed
Another smile to say “I’m great”
But I would never say I’ve healed
Friends caring all too much
Sorry, your pasts I can’t relate
I made hate exist in my heart
And I can’t take it away
I don’t want you to worry
But this is what I cause
To lose what I dreamed of most
Mundane thoughts of a talent lost
It’s the magnitude that makes me sick
Makes me seem sadder than I am
But there’s really nothing left for me
My dreams will eventually break in time
© 2003
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:32 PM UTC
Still breathing, unfortunately
I feel cold
As if I was in the ground
It haunts me
These atrocious nightmares
My eternal soul’s scar
As I look to my right
Cold skies stare back menacingly
And to my left
The shadows call me
I don’t know where to go
And I don’t know how to live
A flame beckons to me
A light pulls me in
And I have this choice to make
How will I move on
Past the grave of life?
We were already dying
Since we began life
Now I’m sick of laying
In my grave of strife
And I’ll take your life once again
Always in death is the time I spend
Until I find a grave of my own
© 2003
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 2:28 PM UTC