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#battling
A pit of dark, the mist around my heart is rich with grey and thick; it sticks to parts. A trickle of faithless, sadistic hatred sparks an internal mage with a frightening claim to every thought, that chains from one to another hopeless shame it paid. The prince of dark offers a small glimpse of a face but as an image of strange and it's never the same. One small soft glimmer. Just as quick as it slivers in, it whispers away. What was once the pain I brought, the game has stained with rot or reshaped my thoughts. Acceptance was never taught as change, the mind a rock. Guilty of the crime of beleiving this was mine, only to find that I only stalk this place. Hopes not lost, just pushed aside to tame that monster of pride as it fought and gnawed. As it flicks its claws and throws every single twisted trick that its got, just to bring stock to my name. Delivered so soft like small drops of rain that clot in my veins through the thoughts that are sought to simply prop up my place at top, like I'm famed. I tried to **** it, and this only served to passion a rage — used as a passage for blame, all packaged in the most passive of ways. Not to entertain these words that played out like songs on stage. I caught the silence that had once been caged. Stillness spoke, I almost dropped it but then stopped in my place, left it to linger and felt the embrace. I lock into the now, with no worries and unfazed. That old monster still murmers yet it hasn't talked in days. With peace maintained through a unwithering stillness, arrived through the vessel of thoughtless play.
0
Feb 11
Feb 11, 2026 at 12:39 PM UTC
Egofiant
A pit of dark, the mist around my heart is rich with grey and thick; it sticks to parts. A trickle of faithless, sadistic hatred sparks an internal mage with a frightening claim to every thought, that chains from one to another hopeless shame it paid. The prince of dark offers a small glimpse of a face but as an image of strange and it's never the same. One small soft glimmer. Just as quick as it slivers in, it whispers away. What was once the pain I brought, the game has stained with rot or reshaped my thoughts. Acceptance was never taught as change, the mind a rock. Guilty of the crime of beleiving this was mine, only to find that I only stalk this place. Hopes not lost, just pushed aside to tame that monster of pride as it fought and gnawed. As it flicks its claws and throws every single twisted trick that its got, just to bring stock to my name. Delivered so soft like small drops of rain that clot in my veins through the thoughts that are sought to simply prop up my place at top, like I'm famed. I tried to **** it, and this only served to passion a rage — used as a passage for blame, all packaged in the most passive of ways. Not to entertain these words that played out like songs on stage. I caught the silence that had once been caged. Stillness spoke, I almost dropped it but then stopped in my place, left it to linger and felt the embrace. I lock into the now, with no worries and unfazed. That old monster still murmers yet it hasn't talked in days. With peace maintained through a unwithering stillness, arrived through the vessel of thoughtless play.
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12
I sure would love to write. But long behold I have my consciousness to fight. Get out of my way you ******* Get out of my sight! What you're doing to me is vile, it just isn't right! Ha! You're terrible I tell you! Your work is destined to fail! A pathway of let downs. A pathetic paper trail. You're just writing for dumpsters like its discarded mail. Silence you demon! I will discover my strengths and discover my style. Bet your *** on that you ***** Or my name isn't Kyle! I'm not destined for failure. Youre making me tick. I'm fed up with your ******** and you're making me sick. Hahaha I see what's happening here! Im winning you over because you're beginning to fear. You will never silence me because I am all that you hear. Throw away this writing because your ending is near. Boo hoo you baby! Are you shedding a tear? Fall back because I'm conquering you! My determination is gritty and my motives are true. In loo of my weaknesses and in loo of my doubt. Ill never give in and cry, nor will I give in and pout. My armor is powerful and my posture is stout. Ah, I see. Are you now breaking free? Are you standing your ground and silencing me? But what of your writings? What will they be? A dumpster fire! I bet your *** we will see! And when that happens Ill be filled with glee. Its over Debby downer because I'll learn new techniques. I'll lay down my heart and all that it speaks. Ill write highs and lows, Ill write valleys and peaks. Ill write with the blood that my bleeding heart leaks. Now change your attitude because your attitude reaks! I understand and submit. I lay out the red carpet for you. I see you speak from the heart and your heart does speak true. But nevertheless, I'll stick just like glue. When you worry and doubt I'll be pouncing on you. When you're pondering ideas and out for something that's new. The writings you write without me will be few. Tousche, that's fine, but you've run out of time. Now let go of the pen because the pen is mine. I'm free to write my writings and the feelings sublime. When I master my craft my writings will be so divine. You're despicable, a decrepit rat! Ill be successful. You can bet your *** on that!
0
Oct 23, 2020
Oct 23, 2020 at 4:32 PM UTC
Bet Your ***
I sure would love to write. But long behold I have my consciousness to fight. Get out of my way you ******* Get out of my sight! What you're doing to me is vile, it just isn't right! Ha! You're terrible I tell you! Your work is destined to fail! A pathway of let downs. A pathetic paper trail. You're just writing for dumpsters like its discarded mail. Silence you demon! I will discover my strengths and discover my style. Bet your *** on that you ***** Or my name isn't Kyle! I'm not destined for failure. Youre making me tick. I'm fed up with your ******** and you're making me sick. Hahaha I see what's happening here! Im winning you over because you're beginning to fear. You will never silence me because I am all that you hear. Throw away this writing because your ending is near. Boo hoo you baby! Are you shedding a tear? Fall back because I'm conquering you! My determination is gritty and my motives are true. In loo of my weaknesses and in loo of my doubt. Ill never give in and cry, nor will I give in and pout. My armor is powerful and my posture is stout. Ah, I see. Are you now breaking free? Are you standing your ground and silencing me? But what of your writings? What will they be? A dumpster fire! I bet your *** we will see! And when that happens Ill be filled with glee. Its over Debby downer because I'll learn new techniques. I'll lay down my heart and all that it speaks. Ill write highs and lows, Ill write valleys and peaks. Ill write with the blood that my bleeding heart leaks. Now change your attitude because your attitude reaks! I understand and submit. I lay out the red carpet for you. I see you speak from the heart and your heart does speak true. But nevertheless, I'll stick just like glue. When you worry and doubt I'll be pouncing on you. When you're pondering ideas and out for something that's new. The writings you write without me will be few. Tousche, that's fine, but you've run out of time. Now let go of the pen because the pen is mine. I'm free to write my writings and the feelings sublime. When I master my craft my writings will be so divine. You're despicable, a decrepit rat! Ill be successful. You can bet your *** on that!
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10
Frustrations of the Sad Sack. From the blows of a feisty distress I ache , An insane spin of pain, Inflated of a pungent vapour my lungs turn a mouldy grey In the repugnant heats of my anger and regrets. Burning agony In the most tender patches, Though my voice makes no sound, My noisy countenance tells it all in a disturbing loudness, I call up the innermost parts from their ease , Call to the deepness of subconscious ponder, If there be any superliminal faculty to see out my salvation From this piling debris of dead ends. I sleep and wake To lend late night gazes on the mirror only to ask, Should I have done it in the blinding blackness of the breezy shadows? Or better in the perching heat of the brightness of a million suns? O Whatever! , would it have mattered anyway? Who cares? For every motive of mine is ripped in cold blood. The struggle with self is ****** My flesh faints, my muscles slacken I can't stand more of this losing debate. I'm running out of steam I've lost control, My ego comes tumbling in an ugly splatter. My fumbling reasoning has become ill-fated, I think in wrong directions, Mileages that clip me off into pits of no return. I regret that I always have had to regret it all, Perhaps someday not so far, Heavens will care for my ever fresh tears, To curse and toss my frustration to the basements of hell, For mischief calls me by name, But in that day I will cease from his memory To be called by a new name ,
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Jul 15, 2019
Jul 15, 2019 at 3:57 AM UTC
Frustrations of the Sad Sack
Life is a lot like a river The tides either help raise you up Or lower tides can drag you under. One false move as you swim these emotionally sensitive  energy currents.... Constantly keep  the emotions in a   balancing science.. Which helps the waters from turning "tsunami"  into wonder.. "How to Keep your head above the waters" and "away from the gravels below?" Strength and strict compliance to this ritual are always a skill.. A ritual.. A battle which always must be won.. Moods and unchecked thoughts are similar to a loaded six shooter. You twirl the bullet wheel  and point the barrel to the head Providing an answer on to the scene to where this "play" shall take you or the rough waters shall take you through. Memories of the past turning to obsessive weight Kicking the stress of life's load to weigh one metric ton. You must become like an Olympic swimmer and Albert Einstein rolled up into one character. Smarts help you figure out a better equation instead of "Russian roulette" and becoming a strong and skilled athlete can help one wrestle their control over the tides wishing to overthrow "this alpha male." You become the victor through all of it. Becoming a controller instead of being "controlled" Energies kept in check. Don't give in. For one moment of allowing one's self to be overwhelmed or give in to the energy effect of exhaustion Can make your reactor Powering your life's force Blow as the Chernobyl Reactor blasted into lifelessness You do not have to revisit history to know what and who such energy took down with it So stay with the times and never neglect yourself, Never throw up your hands, and act out the phrase "forget it!" The future is a brighter light than in the past. Chose the right role in your life and you shall win your Oscar Thanks are due to the character in which you are bright to life and as a director you are a true actor. in which you cast.
0
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 13, 2019 at 4:47 AM UTC
Battling the Rising Tides
Life is a lot like a river The tides either help raise you up Or lower tides can drag you under. One false move as you swim these emotionally sensitive  energy currents.... Constantly keep  the emotions in a   balancing science.. Which helps the waters from turning "tsunami"  into wonder.. "How to Keep your head above the waters" and "away from the gravels below?" Strength and strict compliance to this ritual are always a skill.. A ritual.. A battle which always must be won.. Moods and unchecked thoughts are similar to a loaded six shooter. You twirl the bullet wheel  and point the barrel to the head Providing an answer on to the scene to where this "play" shall take you or the rough waters shall take you through. Memories of the past turning to obsessive weight Kicking the stress of life's load to weigh one metric ton. You must become like an Olympic swimmer and Albert Einstein rolled up into one character. Smarts help you figure out a better equation instead of "Russian roulette" and becoming a strong and skilled athlete can help one wrestle their control over the tides wishing to overthrow "this alpha male." You become the victor through all of it. Becoming a controller instead of being "controlled" Energies kept in check. Don't give in. For one moment of allowing one's self to be overwhelmed or give in to the energy effect of exhaustion Can make your reactor Powering your life's force Blow as the Chernobyl Reactor blasted into lifelessness You do not have to revisit history to know what and who such energy took down with it So stay with the times and never neglect yourself, Never throw up your hands, and act out the phrase "forget it!" The future is a brighter light than in the past. Chose the right role in your life and you shall win your Oscar Thanks are due to the character in which you are bright to life and as a director you are a true actor. in which you cast.
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44
Now a teenager, battling against the world, fighting 'til the end
0
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 8:00 PM UTC
Teenager
God has cursed me. Going insane, slowly. Getting paranoid, giving up. God cursed me, when I was born. Where did he go? Why did he leave humanity to rot away? God have cursed me. The devil won the battles and the war. Demons follow; survants to him I follow as a survant to them all. The Devil cursed me. He cursed me to obey. Today I break, I’m breaking out of his trance. Today I no longer follow him. He will follow me. The Gods cursed me, and I cursed them back.
0
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 10:26 AM UTC
Cursed
Gotta go all out, Gotta go all in, No time to stall out now, Gotta go all in, Gotta go all out, Can not let the demons win, Gotta go all out, Gotta go all in, Every day is another day I gotta win, Gotta go all in, Gotta go all out, Every moves gotta be precise, Gotta go all out, Gotta go all in, No room for a single mistake, Gotta go all in, Gotta go all out, For today could be my final day, Gotta go all out, Gotta go all in, No time to stall out now, Gotta go all in, Gotta go all out, The demons are coming full force, Gotta go all out, Gotta go all in, The darkness is coming for me, Gotta go all in, Gotta go all out, Tho my light shall shine on thru, Gotta go all out , Gotta go all in, I will stand victorious!
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Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 7:13 PM UTC
All in
A smile replaced with a frown A laughter replaced with tears A happy thought replaced with a sad one The day that my birth is celebrated Is the day that I worry It's the day that I never thought would come 16 years alive 5 years of battling my own mind My body stands here scarred damaged struggling .. but still functioning 5 years down, many more to come Cheers to me and cheers to you all Happy Birthday to me
0
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 11:25 AM UTC
Happy Birthday
I took a shower I put on jeans I got off campus I ate two meals I spent a few hours in a public place I talked to someone with my voice and not over text I wrote I studied I feel okay Today was a victory A small victory
0
Dec 9, 2017
Dec 9, 2017 at 8:24 PM UTC
winner
There once was a small girl She always had a smile on her face No matter what happened nothing seemed to phase her Then one day that smile faltered She had a monster in her brain No one knew that something was wrong Then one day it turned to hell People noticed her weight loss People noticed her flighty look during lunch No one knew she was going through pain All because of one day They forced her to eat They forced her sit They didn’t realize all this was a monster’s doing People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face Fast forward that Little girls life She’s a 7th grader now School is fine She likes her classes and her teachers are great But there is a voice in her head saying she will never be good People telling her that wasn’t true Her best friend turning on her Her brain confused What did she do? How can she fix this Then terrible news comes upon her ears Her best friend’s mother and step father are gone Two people who she loved so much Two people who had a special place in her heart are now gone Now she must deal with Grief at 13 years old Life felt empty felt meaningless for that girl People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face A few years later she’s now a freshman Life has become weird without them in her life She now has a new best friend one that treats her right Yet there is this feeling that she can’t shake Why must the world hate She hears the rumors the things they say Her brain agreeing with them She know she’ll never be perfect Soon she begins to feel hate towards her She can do nothing right Her sun is now dark Covered by clouds She thought that she might never feel the light again That monster was now back but in a different form People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face As the Years go on That little girl learns how to deal That monster never letting her escape Whispering sweet nothings into her ear To keep her in his Grasp She keeps silent to protect those around her Stress is always with in her It’s surprising she hasn’t been hospitalized yet The Strongest of Hearts are always the Most Broken The Saddest of people always cheer others up But No one ever notices that she falls in love with this monster Her life would be meaningless without him Just like Romeo and Juliet this is a Tragedy from the Beginning Lost in her world no one can shake her awake Soon she will disappear into the Darkness with her new found Lover The only person to know the real her People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face Now this little girl is almost all grown up Almost 17 starting to drive She’s been on an uphill battle But she won’t fail That monster still lives with in her Not letting her escape But She knows how to control him But sometimes he becomes powerful again And takes over her mind It’s a rocky path from here on out But she won’t lose to someone who is so shallow That he doesn’t have the guts to come out Cause That Little girl is me I have the wounds from all my battles And I’m trying to win this battle In a war I never asked to join
0
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 2:20 PM UTC
A war that is never won
There once was a small girl She always had a smile on her face No matter what happened nothing seemed to phase her Then one day that smile faltered She had a monster in her brain No one knew that something was wrong Then one day it turned to hell People noticed her weight loss People noticed her flighty look during lunch No one knew she was going through pain All because of one day They forced her to eat They forced her sit They didn’t realize all this was a monster’s doing People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face Fast forward that Little girls life She’s a 7th grader now School is fine She likes her classes and her teachers are great But there is a voice in her head saying she will never be good People telling her that wasn’t true Her best friend turning on her Her brain confused What did she do? How can she fix this Then terrible news comes upon her ears Her best friend’s mother and step father are gone Two people who she loved so much Two people who had a special place in her heart are now gone Now she must deal with Grief at 13 years old Life felt empty felt meaningless for that girl People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face A few years later she’s now a freshman Life has become weird without them in her life She now has a new best friend one that treats her right Yet there is this feeling that she can’t shake Why must the world hate She hears the rumors the things they say Her brain agreeing with them She know she’ll never be perfect Soon she begins to feel hate towards her She can do nothing right Her sun is now dark Covered by clouds She thought that she might never feel the light again That monster was now back but in a different form People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face As the Years go on That little girl learns how to deal That monster never letting her escape Whispering sweet nothings into her ear To keep her in his Grasp She keeps silent to protect those around her Stress is always with in her It’s surprising she hasn’t been hospitalized yet The Strongest of Hearts are always the Most Broken The Saddest of people always cheer others up But No one ever notices that she falls in love with this monster Her life would be meaningless without him Just like Romeo and Juliet this is a Tragedy from the Beginning Lost in her world no one can shake her awake Soon she will disappear into the Darkness with her new found Lover The only person to know the real her People’s life stories are not what they seem People like you and me each hold something hidden Deep inside our heart This world is becoming more self centered Girls must be skinny Guys must be Manly The world forces us to be a certain way Heartbreak is common Calories must be counted A smile must be across everyone’s face Now this little girl is almost all grown up Almost 17 starting to drive She’s been on an uphill battle But she won’t fail That monster still lives with in her Not letting her escape But She knows how to control him But sometimes he becomes powerful again And takes over her mind It’s a rocky path from here on out But she won’t lose to someone who is so shallow That he doesn’t have the guts to come out Cause That Little girl is me I have the wounds from all my battles And I’m trying to win this battle In a war I never asked to join
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115
Embers burn in a flash of light Flying through the night Flamboyant flames dancing Dancing, it's the demon The demon who follows me Stares at me with its intense eyes Flailing it's arms, taunting me Taunting me in a provoking manner Provoking me Shoving me reaching Holding me up by my shirt My chest, infecting my lungs Gripping me so tightly in its arms Escape, I must escape I must I must fight it Silently Quietly, without a word nor cry Glaring intensely, infuriating Fighting a battle that will go unsaid Untold, unheard of, a tale with no writing Battling and scarring each other Determined to win, to defeat To **** We are determined to **** One must die for the other to live To live and grow, for our beauty to show We must fight. We must fight without sound Without word of mouth nor page Fight till one is gone **** so one can leave
0
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 12, 2017 at 10:37 PM UTC
my battle
Amiss am I, awry I be, with thought's not of this sphere, O' how I thinkest of the real me. The real me with none dermis, the reality of none colored blood. I'm katharí psychí; Of the empyrean love. Wherein the substance and materials aren't bought, nor sold; I'm sick of the greed, the wantonness, that makes monsters out of men. I've experienced wantonness, though verily it doesn't please me, I've tasted Lust's, and lust conceives sin; Sin leadeth to death. Lord Almighty, protect me from the demon's that never rest, nor do they sleep; They art witty, unforgiving, they make men's heart's their places to eat and invest. Renew me Yahweh in this mortal stress, keep mine eye's on thee; O' Mighty king. Free me of mine burdens; And mine restlessness. Let thine light, Overshadow me. © Brandon nagley © Lonesome poet's poetry
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Dec 22, 2016
Dec 22, 2016 at 6:30 PM UTC
Amiss I am, awry I be
Like a white bird in a blizzard I'm invisible In middle is where I'm delivered Battling the freezing storms No one notices, but that's the norm The battles I wage are as silent As the first feathery snows at night This world is cold and cruel There is no golden rule One of these days when you finally look, I'll be found Lying frozen to the ground
0
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 7:58 PM UTC
White Bird in a Blizzard
Secrets, secrets, are no fun, unless you share with everyone. But what if the secret affects someone else? What if the secret negatively impacts yourself? Secrets, secrets I try to clear my mind, But it keeps popping up Time after time. Are no fun I want to yell, I want to scream, I want the whole world to know What's eating me alive And why I'm bursting at the seams. Unless you share with everyone I have been sworn to secrecy, And I cannot tell, I've sworn myself in, And with this I dwell. The past is heavy, But secrets weigh more, And with no one to tell, My heart and brain begin a War. I'm battling myself, At every given instance. And oh, how I wish I could return to my days of innocence. But I have been sworn to secrecy, And now I cannot speak of it, Such an invasion of privacy, And a secret I can't admit. But maybe, just maybe, One day I will. I'll get it off my chest And will no longer feel mentally ill. Secrecy does weird things To a person, And the longer it goes on, The more their mental health will worsen. Secrets, secrets, are no fun, unless you share with everyone.
0
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 10:02 PM UTC
Sworn to Secrecy
Spinning in darkness Battling to gain her senses Sips down her coffee. -Zainab Attari
0
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 7:18 AM UTC
Haiku #1
My head and my heart will never surrender or back down They are forever battling between what I want and what I need By Chloe Elizabeth
0
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 9:48 PM UTC
My Head and My Heart