#baltimore
Sometimes I miss Baltimore,
as it was,
in this ragged snapshot from 1999.
Smoky bars, diffuse light,
the dusky anonymity of proto-digital consciousness,
A city teeming with its own subversive imagination.
Palpable in the night air,
the questionable intentions of the still willfully living,
A dim seediness skulking in the corners and alleyways,
bearing impartial witness to the transgressions of all those nights, preordained to bleed into mornings,
A time,
A town,
that was fearless,
rogue in the absolute saturation of its moments,
Shimmering in the mists like slick cobblestone,
like points of light upon dark water,
the winking reflections of a neon harbor,
paused somewhere between future and past,
A bastion of the new prehistory.
I miss Baltimore,
covert and alive,
In its hour of renegade persuasion,
however quaint or illusory,
its voice was distinct,
in the chatter of the underground.
There was a relevance to the present then,
a sanctity in the moment.
There were questions left unanswered.
There was intimacy in a shared secret.
Misfits were permitted to revel.
I miss that Baltimore most,
the one that curated me,
called me out of myself.
With a history cemented in the arcane,
its raven-dark undercurrent
like smooth cognac softening the edges,
melancholy,
delicate as roses,
giving the rage a moment's pause,
Giving human momentum a breath,
to observe and retain the poignancy,
of itself,
In all its uneasy coexistence,
Baltimore,
as it once was,
steeped in the tradition of the unsung,
like an archeological dig,
On the surface,
merely crumbling dirt,
and broken things.
but deeper,
an uncanny relic of rich insights,
and richer delights.
But one had to know where to look,
and one had to know how to let it take lead.
And one could never be too scrupulous,
or scrutinous.
The Carnival of Dissonance,
was not for the uninitiated,
Nov 17, 2020
Nov 17, 2020 at 4:44 PM UTC
I tell myself,
no more.
I will not see you again,
I am done, done, done.
Yet,
I find myself driving to you
that same night
with the flimsiest excuse.
Baltimore
you are an ex
I can't quite get over.
I keep remembering
the good times,
and I can't let you go.
We say,
let's be friends,
but
when we see each other
we never say anything
important.
Baltimore
I say
no more,
but I keep coming back to you,
and you,
these days,
you're indifferent.
We have one night stands
where no one comes
and I slink away early in the morning.
There is no coffee,
no breakfast,
no romance,
no anything at all.
Baltimore,
we're a habit
I don't know how to break.
Baltimore
I don't know
what I want from you,
what I need from you,
I just know
I won't get it.
Still,
I keep coming back,
keep hoping
one day you'll feel like home.
But Baltimore,
I know better,
and anyway,
don't you know?
Exes
can't be friends.
May 30, 2020
May 30, 2020 at 6:32 PM UTC
Baltimore
this is a love poem.
Baltimore
this is a break up poem.
Baltimore,
I remember
when I first
fell in love with you.
It was 2012
I wandered around the city
taking ****** pictures of street art.
Took free public transit.
Spent the afternoon
at the old, old red Emma's
back when it wasn't bougie.
Baltimore
I knew what you were
but I couldn't help it,
I fell in love.
Baltimore
I remember courting you,
thinking maybe I could call you
Home.
You
Greatest City in America
you
both
gentrified
and
run down
all at once.
In 2014
you held me
through my numbed out days,
through my drunken nights.
You
with your ****** transportation
that might or might not arrive.
You
with your gentrified Hampden
where I once heard a white man say he felt
"So safe."
You
with your burnt out building I climbed
with a girl
who'd one day leave me behind.
You
with your street cats,
street rats.
You
with the Royal Farms
that sold cheap Mikes Hards.
I could barely love myself,
but
I still loved you.
Baltimore,
I need you to know
that I will always care for you,
but somewhere along the way
something broke in me.
Baltimore,
you held me then,
still hold me even now,
but it's getting time
for me to move on.
It's not you,
it's me.
My restlessness,
my ungratefulness,
of what you've done for me.
My inability to value
potential stability,
potential community.
It's not me,
it's you.
It's all the same with you,
same scene,
same bars,
same parties.
Baltimore,
I love you,
I really do.
Baltimore,
I'm sorry,
but we need to take a break
long-term.
Need to start seeing
other people.
Don't cry,
it's better this way.
And besides,
you're not,
could never truly be
home.
Baltimore
this is a love poem.
Baltimore
this is a break up poem.
Baltimore,
maybe one day
when the dust settles
we can be friends.
But for now,
I need to leave.
I love you.
Good bye.
May 30, 2020
May 30, 2020 at 6:27 PM UTC
I'm near the door
of this queer party
scanning the stream of people
coming in.
For who?
For you.
Who else?
Person
after
person
after
person.
And then
there you are,
and my heart
does some kind of flip
even tho
I swear to myself
I'm over you.
I mean
I don't even think of you
that often but
there you are
and I can't help
yearning
for something
that'll never happen.
Tell myself
over and over and over
that I'm with someone better for me,
but she's white,
and never goes out,
and safe,
and you -
well,
you're you.
And we talk,
tease each other,
saying nothing
important.
And it's okay.
And it's not.
And later in the night
when you tell me
about what's happening at Otto
after this event
I hightail it there,
of course I do,
hoping, hoping, hoping...
And even now,
I sit in this coffee shop
waiting to go to an event
you said you'd be at and
God
I'd give anything
to be different,
to not want
what I can't have.
I'd give anything
to be more
than a moth
to a flame
to be satisfied
with what I've got,
but I can't help it.
I want
forest fire love.
Give me
forest fire love.
I want to be
burned alive.
May 30, 2020
May 30, 2020 at 6:08 PM UTC
Dear homeless man on the side of the street
Begging for a dollar, a smile, or a treat
I’m sorry I looked away
I’m sorry I pretended like I didn’t see you
I need to shelter myself from the truth
I want to shelter myself from you
See I can never be a shelter to you
I could tell you there is rest
In the shelter of the Most High
I just assumed you’re probably high
I can’t handle the guilt of greed
So I blame you for panhandling
Now please let me drive by
Before I’m caught up in a drive-by
Dear homeless man on the side of the street
Begging for a dollar, a smile, or a treat
I’m sorry I looked away
I’m sorry I pretended like I didn’t see you
You’re in my blind spot
I cannot see you
If I pull up my blinds
Then I might spot you
So I stay in my dark room
Where I picture a world
Captured in imagination
And developed in reality
I stay in my dark room
I time travel with a flashback
I picture the world in just white
I picture the world in just black
So I expose the injustice
Until it’s black and white
Now I see the picture right
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 2, 2016 at 6:03 PM UTC
This is a call
A wake up call
As the winds of America’s past time pass over the embers of racial distress
Soon their will be a flame
There was riotting in the 60′s and who is say that today it won’t be the same
The ****** memories of America’s past still brings fear
The fire of racial inequality builds and smoke fills the air
Innocent men getting shot down in the street but who really cares?
As a mother’s heart bursts in sadness as she’s reduced to tears
Hands up,don’t shoot!
They think all we do is ****** and loot
But who am I to refute?
Maybe they know who I am and feel my pain? Or maybe I’m saying #BlacklivesMatter all in vain
All in vein cause this pain runs deep
Everytime I see another mother weep
Another black life lost, who will pay the cost? Who will sanctify the souls? And take burning coals to holes where these bodies lay,
Like the one that holds Freddie grey,
Another black man in Baltimore just trying to survive another day, until his life got taken away,
tell me,what more am I to say ,
Hands up don’t shoot
Or how about I can’t breathe!
Please listen and take heed
Systematic racism is trying to destroy the black man’s seed
And what are we supposed to do? Get down on our knees? Cry and plead?
No, what we must we do is Rise up and lead,
That’s what our communities need
That’s what our communities need because we have black daughters, black sons
Black sons whose light won’t get to shine, won’t get to shine because of the barrel of Massa’s gun
Oh ***** you wise old soul, you put a badge on henchmen and told them to take control
Told them to go on patrol, and shoot to **** the young, the old
And you don’t gotta hide, you got the media on your side,
pumping lie after lie, making mockery of every mother’s cry
And that’s why I, stand here with my fist in the air
Staring right at you, ready to lay my life down with no fear
Because like Malcolm, like Martin I’m just another black man working to free the slaves,
Working tirelessly to break down this crooked system you paved
So with the roar of a lion I shout!
This is not a test, this is a call
A call to the people,
Not just a call but an unprecedented sequel
A call to the world to look at every man as equal
And hopefully this equality can take my people out of poverty
Open up blinded eyes so that our white counterparts can see
And for my young brothers to see that there’s no merit in gold chains with no brains
***** still in charge cause he still holds the reigns
Some of our young men got no sense cause they got no change
No leaders to look up to
No fathers to look up to
Just mothers to run to, and to those mothers I say thank you
But to the black men where are you?
I know ***** separated us from our families
but the return of the black man must come quick
Cause extinction is on the verge, and I don’t wanna go back to stones and sticks
Back to lifting bricks, or selling bricks, or flipping bricks just trying to make it
But I look at the state of my people and I can’t take it
So I can’t fake it, cause I feel it
Within me, deep in my soul
So here I am standing, here I am, bold!
No shackles on me, I am going to stay free
And Create a legacy
where I can sit back and watch
My Children be free
M Wheeler
Jul 11, 2016
Jul 11, 2016 at 2:34 PM UTC
A single day contained so many Journeys and the Stories
as if they were meant to meet.
And Baltimore,
you were the humble host
of all the Reunions.
Belgium,
Filling our stomachs and the time apart
Memories came to life and we smiled — Together
Sydney,
Talking to random seagulls between our conversations
I found a feather given by a fearsome friend
Geneva,
Learning how to pronounce a foreign word— Affogato
I imagined this is how life should taste
Yokohama,
Making fun of the sushi places hidden in the brick walls
My heart secretly traveled back home
Istanbul,
Discovering the colorful lamps
I thanked for kindnesses sent from different directions
Unexpectedly,
All the journeys took us back to the 5th grade,
picking up our favorites at a candy shop
— and I promised never to follow any strangers!
Baltimore,
You’ve taught me how it feels to grow up.
not being somebody else,
but sowing seeds in our moments,
good days and bad days,
— just like we gave a name and fell in Love
with every single corner of the Town.
Baltimore,
Let’s do it again.
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 3:29 AM UTC
my dog stops to mark
each abandoned Christmas tree
that has found its grave
on the sidewalk of Keswick Road
Tonight I am walking in boots with laces
instead of a Velcro post-surgery shoe
Each step echoes an ache
that cannot ever fully heal
Half of the porches in Baltimore
are adorned with holiday lights
others with pumpkins, forgotten
The fruit bowl in my kitchen still holds
fruit given months ago by a sympathetic neighbor
Some spots on the apples from Ari
are finally becoming
soft and brown – I eat around the rot
My torso and arms are strewn
with black and blue kisses,
the result of weeks on crutches
My bruised ribs confess:
the real hurt was under here
Tonight I am walking
with a swollen foot, a swollen heart
but no longer broken
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 8:07 PM UTC
Won’t the real Charlie please stand up
And put one of those pencils in each hand up
Je suis Charlie too, but Charlie bit me
And for that they rip me
They want to get rid of me
But I’m not them
And they’re not us
But we’re all one
So don’t count up
Put those hands down
We don’t need to see another case of Michael Brown
Yes, protest
But protest with peace
And take the jobs of those you wish you could leash
Give emotions rest
Love is the best defense
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 4:32 AM UTC
From one end of a sea, I waved to you
And carried it with me out to purlieu.
Over desertous thirst. It sank me through
A mermaid's con: rehearsed to drown on cue.
It reverbed off radars who threw it off course,
Who clash out; Who say our sound invokes force.
Who translate our call to a crime; (perforce);
Who trained us to fall, then harbor remorse.
I wait still in oceans for your wave back.
I wave me free from fear of dinful attack.
I got it all up here, should they lose track.
But I'm anchored still, -- slow, should you wave back.
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 10:02 PM UTC
Black people are wonderful!
Some of my best friends are black.
White people are just great too,
They aren't all greedy or "on crack."
So why is it that we can't all feel this way?
Good and bad, right and wrong, and how
We are all a part of this truth all along,
That we all have some part that needs to be fixed,
No humans were made without any faults or wrong,
It's all for the best, we're all wonderful-if the ignorant
Would just get to know them better-it's only a thing
That needs to be addressed, not to hold one ethnic
Color or another to follow a set of rules to the letter.
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 3:35 PM UTC
It's so gratifying to realize that
I don't care what you're up to
Post-deluge-of-Dilaudid. Or
Adder-all-outta-luck
Where the beige meets the blue, and
The cat's smelling flowers, and
We're squished in this chair, here,
But you don't give a ****
This was supposed to be the
Maiden voyage of
The S.S. Dog-Staying-Home-Alone
But, instead, familiar
Anxious chills, and shaky
Hands, and aching bones...
Hell, Baltimore is burning, whilst
Nepal just falls apart.
Sun beams, young, and up-and-coming,
Never getting called to start.
Does the wind smell
So sickly, did it die?
With the rest of me?
Is this that "long-count to thirty?"
Am I being too wordy?
"Stop rhyming, we need to drink."
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 8:57 PM UTC
The human being is an inherently contentious creature.
Seven billion rock-wall eyes;
Eyes staring belligerently down seven billion sharp noses;
Noses affixed to seven billion faces;
Faces covered in creases and scars,
Framed in unruly hair
And outlined in stark exactness
By the flames cowering in bipedal shadows.
Into the human heart is chiseled "inexorable".
We are an incongruence:
We row up the rapids,
Scale the waterfall
And taunt the oily heavens from atop Devil's Tower.
We will always get what we want,
Whether it involves killing the albatross
Or playing Gondorff's chess.
Whether we wrest it from Gaia's grasp
Or that of our more miserly peers.
Robert C. crystalised our resolve.
The riot gear-clad Blue and Green with timers in their throats
Stand abreast.
Chanting "Listen to Mother. Mother knows best.",
They begin the forward press.
When an impish grenade leaps our way,
We fling it back between mouthfuls of chips.
The barricades erected
By Mother and ourselves alike
Are many and implacable and incessant,
But they will be broken and overtaken.
They will be broken and overtaken by us,
The humans,
Because we are.
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 8:05 AM UTC
This revolution's got a lot to say
This revolution needs to be heard
Don't sit down, don't die
This isn't your time
This is war in the streets,
This will not be beat,
And I will tug my feet through the muck
The muck of a beaten generation
And I will drag my children out of the cells
And I will fight for freedom, I will fight for freedom
And I will stand up, don't back down
Listen to the beat of the drumming hearts
I will drag my feet through the muck
I will drag my feet through the muck
No war, not anymore
No war, not anymore, this is a revolution
This is here and now, this is us and we won't back down
This is a revolution.
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
Isn't about the hatred of another person
Isn't about screaming opinions at the top of your lungs
Isn't about attacking others
Social Justice
Is about standing in the middle of a crowded room and shouting what's right as they shout what's wrong
Words flowing
Blood pumping
Screaming about Baltimore and Ferguson
White people crying wolf while blacks cry fear
Social Justice
Is the construct that is refused because it's right
And we know it's right
But refuse to believe it in all of its glory
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 3:14 PM UTC
I feel the heat of your emotions
But mine have not walked into the fire
I know the pain you have endured
But I am made numb by selfish desire
I hear an angry song in the streets
But it was sung by a heartbroken choir
I saw a mother strike her own son
But it was love that became his savior
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015 at 4:47 PM UTC
nearly 200 years ago
which means my genetics have directly contributed
to the current system
that continues thrusting knees on the throats
of an entire race of brothers and sisters.
Sick knots of frustration churn in my stomach
while fist and eyelids clench tight
burning razor tears slowly trickling down my face
at the very idea one of my ancestors--
part of my DNA
once treated a living, breathing woman of color
like a permanent maid meant only to labor inside and outside.
I'm sharing this to admit and reveal my family's
complacency in a system
continuing to reap the so-called benefits
from a capitalist mindset
that has upgraded beyond physical cold metal shackles,
evolving into ball and chain conversation words
where people worry more about property damage from riots
instead of deaths at the hands of the fraternal order of timeout.
I'm sharing this to continue conversations
for so long in America have been shuffled around, cast aside
as if it were an embarrassing high school phase
politely laughed away
like on holidays when my family and I
would listen to grandparent's occasional choice phrases
that began "Well the blacks are just blah blah blah..."
Like a child caught ************ by parents,
our pale shame has made us bury the past below sea level
hoping nobody would notice.
But now, the skeletons are beginning to rise,
seeping through the ground
along with fears of other dusty bones
buried under the red road.
Many of our ancestors
have been trying to dig deeper holes
with phrases like
*"I don't understand, there was MLK and Honest Abe,
what more do* they want?"
ploughing ahead with fingers shoved in ears
singing "La la la let's just move on, it was a long time ago"
overlooking the equality and empathy
that has been lacking up to the present.
Like two leaders could wave a magic wand overnight
erasing the dismissive dis-ease of white skinned superiority
we've been weaving into of our laws,
conditioning into our DNA,
evolving from slavery to segregation to target practice and tax brackets
despite singing "Land of the free"
even though there's a disparity
between rioters in inner cities being called "thugs"
while rioters at sport events are "party goers."
The first step is acknowledgement,
unfortunately we can't force someone to understand,
but we can support and be there
for our brothers and sisters
with kind, encouraging words,
taking steps to pull out
of the land and people selling business,
instead investing in the new currency of presence and attention
unlike my ancestors.
almost 200 years ago.
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 3:34 PM UTC
Ok, I didn't want to do this
but there's rules that you must know
Etiquette to be followed
A line that you must toe
Listen very closely now
I think you all should try it
The things that you will now learn
About a protest and a riot
Firstly, have a purpose
Just random shouting, that's persay
If you do not have a topic
Then all the new folks go away
Throwing bricks at coppers
Breaking windows on the street
Is this a sign of protest
Or is it idiots in heat
No signage, and no speakers
Just random yelling for a cause
This isn't a good protest
Just breaking random laws
A protest has a purpose
It presents a point of view
A riot is an ugly thing
Which one is right for you
MLK could run a protest
Make a point and get things done
All without a mob forcing
A cop to use his gun
The rules really are simple
Keep the young ones all at home
For people in glass houses
Should really not throw stones
A peaceful resolution
From a protest is the goal
But a riot is just aimless
It puts the city in a hole
Victims of a riot
Are not the ones who are to blame
They're just owners of the business'
Who get caught up in the game
Next time that you protest
Protest rioting instead
It will turn out for the better
And nobody will end up dead
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 11:36 PM UTC
History is being made right before us and all you can contribute is contempt? Since when have we all become so polarizing? There has never been a civilization not built on war.
I'm all for mind over matter,
but If all lives matter?
than please respect mine
Show admiration not shame
Because they aren't to blame
It's hard to remain sane and ignore
When every month it rains and it pours
They see looting and dysfunction
I see grouping and discussion
Anger is no way to communicate
But it's the best commute to irate
I'm all for mind over matter
But if all lives matter?
Than I don't care whose
Business you mind
Just as long as you
Don't mind mine.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 10:18 AM UTC
I know I cannot have your sympathy
I just ask you to understand
The truth is
I understand the land
But I'm tired of standing under another man
Only to be perfectly misunderstood purposely
Inside of my ferociousness
It's hurting me
Because I know there's always a start, but never an end
Have you ever fought a continuos fight that you can never win?
You can never understand
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 3:55 AM UTC
Fear
Distrust
Bad blood
More blood
Bitten dust
Angry eyes
Lots of eyes
Story fires
History bleeds
Baltimore streets
Burn in madness
When asked how we should mourn him
Freddie didn’t speak
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 1:00 AM UTC
I’ve never been in love
Ben said, if that’s all you have to worry about
then you’re doing pretty **** well
After some consideration
I decided that it’s okay for now
you should know yourself
before someone else
could ever hope to reciprocate
and the biggest lie I can tell myself
is that I have it all figured out
at twenty two
I feel like all I am capable of writing about is love
and cliché lines like
her eyes could stop freight trains
or some nonsense about
how she moves like the phases of the moon
but there is one thing I have realized:
you do not need pretty words for your poetry
to have meaning
All I know for sure
is that I like root beer and whiskey
and the way I know spring is coming
by a scent in the air that I just can’t put my finger on
I know I have a hint of north Baltimore accent
and just because I couldn’t make it at a university
I am not a failure
dorm life isn’t for everyone
and sometimes I would rather drink alone
I’ve never been in love
for now that’s enough
Mar 16, 2015
Mar 16, 2015 at 10:28 PM UTC
The gunshots ring out from Baltimore,
I pray you are not tonight's target practice,
Young kings with concrete kingdoms,
Raging war against the parts of the sidewalk they cannot see,
Please stay safe another night
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 12:05 AM UTC