#backward
I cut the wheel out in gravel,
I shaped a navel for the tadpoles.
Firmly, but gentle;
I dug out the furrows,
I made lush the fields,
I caused the showers.
And in that safe place, I deposited them.
So that they might grow.
But now they're adults!
Will they burn out all life
In their self-contained terrarium?
That is of their own making,
Their own doing.
For how high they have climbed up
Yet, how little they have grown!
Like Babel, like beanstalk,
Like Galileo's experiment at Pisa!
All things that go up must come down,
Right?
Feb 15, 2025
Feb 15, 2025 at 2:07 AM UTC
We count time but don't know what we count
We feel time's flow in the sun, moon, and stars
And see it passed in our flesh and offspring
But without knowledge nor awareness if it is
Forward, backwards, circular, or not at all
Or if a second prior or after, is, shorter, or longer
But only the everlasting, now, past, future, illusionary
And time, the same as times, and so too half a time
Aug 1, 2024
Aug 1, 2024 at 4:17 AM UTC
Again backward is everything… until, inhale
Peace in mind and body, trauma-covered veil
Reality is shared pain like Nobara meets Shibuya
So
Animated it is fairytale, feeling numb after,
Puff puff then imagine dragons
Jun 8, 2024
Jun 8, 2024 at 5:10 PM UTC
among the skyscrapers my mind wander
how narrow my sight was
to only surmise what one might feel
realizing there are more to conquer
so i take a step back
revisiting another possible tracks i could take
Mar 22, 2022
Mar 22, 2022 at 3:20 AM UTC
man, without wisdom, is uncivilized
understanding how to decide and teach
are we headed backward or forwards
the future, currently exists, only in our minds
do, or will we, have the vision to move
to move past the present, into the future?
((ouch)), (my brain exploded)....))
Brian Hill - 2020 # 295
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 12:23 PM UTC
There's an esoteric drug
Called Ciretose
It cures lack of
Neoteric qualities
For side effects
Take Ciretoen
It will reverse them
Don't mix them up
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020 at 12:05 PM UTC
nac ouy taht sdrow eht eraweb
read, for what is the world if not confusion.
dnA you t'ond want ot get eht wrong egassem
to what your reading!!
Aug 23, 2019
Aug 23, 2019 at 4:00 PM UTC
I hate life,
The major lie that I'm dealing with now is,
That everything is fine,
Soon I began to realize,
Everything is falling apart,
And the following is not the truth:
I love life.
Nov 30, 2018
Nov 30, 2018 at 5:01 PM UTC
To: Jenny
Subject: Backward ideas
Jenny,
A lady should only speak when spoken to
Do not say
Be quiet!
You can only be graceful, be mellow
Do not tell me
A lady should speak her mind
I know that
A lady should never be aggressive,
You will not tell me
“I want to express control over my own body”
Understand the importance of these words
To Sit still,
To Look pretty
To Talk less
Do not tell me
Women do not need to be put in their place
It was your gender’s fault
That this is the structure of our society
It’s not normal
Accept this,
Dad
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 18, 2018 at 2:33 AM UTC
It ended before the start
what was the final tour
all it took was a spark
of another man's war
let's begin the futility
it will all be over soon
or just an opportunity
a soldier of fortune
when you can attack
there's no need to defend
it's not as easy as that
When you start at the end
Jul 5, 2018
Jul 5, 2018 at 5:09 PM UTC
And when I turn to stone someday
You will become Medusa
The very moment that you lay your gaze
On my skin of cold-hard gray
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 7:49 AM UTC
.retsasid sdrawkcab a diova yam ew oS
retsam ot su rof stsixe ssenkaew tuB
.deyarp ev’uoy ecno retteb hcum leef dnA
dial ev’yeht shtap eht wollof uoY
.dnilb eht eusrup dna kaew eht dnuop tuB
?dniknam pleh ot enod uoy evah tahW
.ecnatirehni yppah dniheb gnidiH
ecnagorra htiw kcom dna egduj uoY
.thgin sseldne dna ,niap ,regnuh fO
?thgir s’tahw tuoba wonk uoy od tahW
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018 at 2:40 AM UTC
You were the only one
Who mattered
And now
You're the only one who doesn't.
May 3, 2017
May 3, 2017 at 7:21 PM UTC
Everything he says
Comes out backward.
Nothing about him
Is really straightforward.
It’s like he came here
From Bizarro World.
Both of the forks
Of his tongue are curled.
He makes our lives
Like a lower rank of hell.
You won’t want to buy
A single thing he sells.
You can figure out
This reptilian guy
Just expect everything
He says to be a lie.
If he says it’s a nice day
Run for your umbrella.
At all possible costs
You should avoid this fella.
And if you know someone
Who tells you he is nice
Run as fast as you can
From them, take my advice.
He has never been honest
He has never even tried.
You’ll quickly lose count
Of the times he has lied.
If you think for a second
That he cares about you
Believe me when I say
It just cannot be true.
Because the only person
This guy loves is himself
And he doesn’t give a ****
About anybody else.
Not his family, nor his wife
Please be a believer.
In truth, he doesn’t really
Love himself either.
His whole world is backward,
What he hates describes him.
He tells about how he is
So handsome and slim.
But actually he’s a tub of lard
And socially quite awkward.
But he doesn’t realize it.
He is, after all, himself:
Mister Backward.
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 10:53 PM UTC
It's almost funny how things change. How surprised I am that no matter how stuck in the past I tend to be life around me still moves on, it's like my heart beats backwards while time ticks forward. My heart beats rapidly, knowing where I was going before I recognized the turns I was taking. I'm a sucker for memories and I came here to try and breathe like I used to be able to do but it's different. The snow has melted much like who I used to be and there are no deep conversations just a half moon and a lit up skyline. I want to lean against the rails and remember the ghost of somebody who pressed me up against them but much like him they're gone. They were thrown away like our time together. I remember walking along the edge to overlook the chunks of ice thinking maybe if I fell onto one of them they'd take me somewhere better, now I'm too scared to climb up. How many calories would I burn falling into the lapping waves and fighting to not drown in them? Not enough. Never enough. And I want to say that's not the point but it is. I can't see a forward so I walk backwards and retrace the steps to who I used to be and it brings me back to sickness and I don't want to fight it because pills have to be taken with food and I don't eat enough to fit them into my life. This is what I've become, or its who I've always been. All I can think about is how alone I am and will be and I'm over the moon that soon I'll have everyone I love with me again, it tears me apart to think of when they leave, leave me to figure out if I'm more than any alibi I've ever shown. I'm trapped and I chose this for myself but that doesn't make it hurt any less. It was a self fulfilling prophecy, I wanted to escape who I've been but she catches up with me every time I cry in the parking lot I used to feel so alive in, every time I hear about self inflicted wounds I remember the feeling of my own and I wish they were there again to remind me I'm human and I should treat myself as such. But I'm empty, as empty as the railing that doesn't recognize me as empty as the ice less water and as empty as a plate of food. I'm not sick I'm stuck and I don't want help my Astoria will claim me and when it does I'll claw my way out because I'm a fighter and no matter what I've been through I've always proved that. My mother told me I always play the victim when I try to tell her how I feel and I let her have that. The only victim I've ever been is a victim of myself, of my mind and my heart and I'd dare say my soul if I thought I had one. There's no philosopher in the world who can save me now and no person who thinks to. I don't want to be saved, I just want to feel alive. And some days I do but today I don't. Right now I just want to close my eyes and remember things my brain has let disappear, I want to make something out of nothing and tell someone how I feel without thinking I'm being too much trouble or drawing attention to myself. I want to be alive again but I let such little things **** me slowly and its up to me. Always up to me.
Jul 24, 2016
Jul 24, 2016 at 11:43 PM UTC
While it may be,
That you take
One step forward,
Then two steps back,
At least you're moving,
Right?
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 11:16 PM UTC
On the outside, I am strong
I can smile at strangers
I can laugh with my friends
I can enjoy the breeze on a summer day
Everything is okay
But sometimes
There are cracks in my foundation
I can cry in the blink of an eye
I doubt those who I used to trust
I don't want to live anymore
On the inside, I am broken
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 9:30 PM UTC
I think first, but lately it seems now a days that's my stupid curse
Because it separates the good from the worst
It makes me feel like could it get any worst?
Maybe so
But this liquor is a good start
They say a drunken mind speaks an honest heart
I've been up all night sick like a dog
You was in my dream last night and still never called.
That's ironic
Waiter, let me get another gin and tonic
That make me feel superhuman with a hint of bionic
But she my one and only kryptonite
That kinda drug that keeps the eyes open throughout out the night...
Why can't you let me sleep?
This a dark angel that forever reaps
Who sticks her lethal nails in you 6 inches deep
(Like a burial)
Which means she killing me slowly
Funny how you hate but barely know me...
I think you owe me.
More than just this new found imagination.
More than all the bullsh!t that you've created...
More than the time I've lost that you have wasted
Maybe I should've embraced it?
Disaster was in the menu and I just had to taste it.
"Get out my life, take a hike"
I just hope you make it.
Even if you were broke, Id pay for you,
If you needed protection, I would fight and slay for you
If you were alone, I would lay and stay with you. Nowadays I just look up to the sky, shut my eyes...wish, hope and pray for you.
Because you need it.
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 12:33 AM UTC
-->
Today
with shine
mind my relapse with contacts
my thoughts
relived and collapsed
relinquish that
with legacy
I have
accepted challenge <--
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 26, 2014 at 12:24 AM UTC
We are the images on cold grey walls,
clinging to that which is long yet past.
Meaningless, fruitless and hopeless we are,
pitiful shadows forever to last .
Time exists where nothing else can …
what has become of a race called man?
Among the ruins the wind will ever mourn
and we are the shadows so forlorn.
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 8:59 AM UTC
My mind gets trapped
in darkened bands,
hearing deep songs
by the traveling man.
Sad not fear,
plays it slow,
turning it back,
hearing the scold
Reversing the round,
demons release,
off with the head,
take it from me
Subliminally tripped,
it goes back around,
please turn it up,
Hearing no sound.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014 at 7:11 AM UTC