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I have searched for you in many things found parts but never the components that existed within the whole of you.
I have searched for you in others , I have searched for you in the bottle .
I have found emptiness in my efforts broken dreams bitter ends I have found rejection that you never allowed me to see within the dream you cast over are existence .
I knew as I awoke this morning the rains symphony cast upon a tin roof would cause me only to reflect .
I remember you without effort you were my evergreen and those are the worst kind of memories for no others can live up to the delusion of what once was .
Together in those moments we lived more than in these years apart .
I remember it all in spite of my efforts to erase every single image of you from my dreams .
How I need that delusion when the silence brings nothing but pain.
I have to say goodbye to you now for the poison of what was is killing the moments I have left .
I realize love was are curse and time will remain the burden.
We were the best of are passion nights with you spoken words though few between in a passion cast serenade .
Would remain hours over simple sentences of others.
I wonder do we stand still somewhere in time if so I do not a more beautiful portrait ever could be painted in red sunsets and a oceans farewell.
The hardest thing I have ever done is closed my thoughts to you.
Goodnight sweetheart .
Maybe somewhere in time we will wake together anew .
May 29, 2016
May 29, 2016 at 3:49 PM UTC
No matter what happens just keep playing kid.
I was sixteen when I first started playing music as a DJ in a little redneck bar in Carolina .
Green as a glade of grass that would soon change .
I hung with the barflys the rejects the bikers and the ones that just couldn't leave there past behind.
I wasn't friends with kids my age I found my crowd and tried every vice in between.
You don't know **** at sixteen so don't pretend you do I learned from those who scars were many as the stories they told.
I watched the crowd they were always willing to turn on you
It was sink or ******* swim in a sea of smoke and stale beer .
The women weren't like the girls in high school .
There was no delusion of something more just a fast night and a good time followed by a ****** up hangover .
I had nothing in common with my own age group hell I partied with there parents knew off duty cops thieves and dope dealers .
They were all full of **** in there own way.
I cared little for a classroom I learned everything I needed to survive in those little dive bars .
I was underage six foot four acted and looked older so I just fit in .
There was danger
There was always some **** just waiting to happen .
No wonder I left the awkward world of social climbers and ******** proms behind.
Money was fast and so was everything worth a goodtime.
Who the **** needs someone when you can have the chaos of another night.
It was everything that I missed and never knew existed .
I will always remember that little ugly *** stage .
The faces changed real music still lives .
I gave them happiness they gave me there money.
It was my life's college .
The brain would learn what the pen would write many years later .
If your worried bout the page at sixteen your lost already.
Life will fill in the gaps .
Live first then it will all eventually fit together .
I forget everything now but I never forget those times .
One stage is always like the next .
The only rule no matter what happens when your up there .
Just keep playing kid .
Just keep playing.
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017 at 3:52 PM UTC