#awhile
The deed begun and the deed done,
a breath taken, and a breath released.
The work, writing, reading as we go.
No shame, no pressure, no debt.
Living long under the prosperity.
Not our own, no, our providence
answered faith of our previous
makers of ways where no way was
when white pages haunted open hearted
souls called to comfort motherless children,
unfeedable little lost souls told tales remember
Be ware what you think we mean, as us I mean,
we become whole new things, keyed with ancient
yeast and slime mold shapes of green oatmeal flow
like the golden oil running down Aarron's beard, ah
Chavad gotta a deal gotta say we getta witness, see
say you know this game, three cards, just three, see.
Pop chaos theoretical butterfly flap
of a wing among millions of wings
flapping subsonic whirs we hear
but by conditioning perceive
- the butterfly effect
- if believed unbelievable
- unbelieve it now,
- exhale, inhale, and think
we have all the time in the world
and electricity always on, or
could be so we know, borders
are imaginary bubble walls,
the earth as a system keeps itself,
the people as a whole have roles,
the worth of each single point, once
sine qua non, you knew the truth
and thus thought then freely, I am
a mental image of the truth life makes.
Winds return on their circuits,
as sounds in silence, deep
teenage wasteland topsoil lifts
away, frame the vision, make it
plain, word after word, logical as
as
as
as
yes, as logos itself, infancy
an
incunabuluman* nonage ex-empt-ion
say that five times on judgement day
matada
innocent self…
being presupposed
to be or become metamorphosed
from inexperienced to immediate
past tense confusing time with chance
considering the relative worth of an
innocent self… a me among men, amen
without spot or blemish, perfect babe,
infantile in all her unrhetted ignorance
inside the fog of war, holding flax at bay
break out fibers fine as Rapunzel's flaxen locks
first precious light in the day, shining out
from ivory skinned faces, woe, is us,
as we have never been so exposed
naked nonsense makers, but no, just me,
judging where I may imagine I must be,
in my morning ritual mediation caught up,
being in time flow, rolling along, singin'
my song, wrong, or right, you just
don't know, you just go, sparrow wise,
tweeting make believe at made believers.
*
Latin incunabula
"cradle, birthplace; rudiments or beginnings"
From <https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=infancy>
End part one, a poetic after shock from
Mike Makowsky's Death by Lightning
A four part series behind a Netflix paywall
not too hard to peer over these days…
I keep thinking you are paying attention
We keep thinking we lose our minds, no
we get to, relate to Charles J. Guiteau
and the odds of dying by constant lightning
we blow our bubbles of being to the extent
of now, on an orderly planet rewarding ment
enjoyment, an at it attitude, doing indeed a day.
What we can learn in an hour,
no mind born before 1940 could imagine.
May 25
May 25, 2026 at 1:11 PM UTC
the brain can ache
complaining like a child
'give me my sugar'
or I will send you insane.
Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 10:06 AM UTC
We can't avoid sleep
it creeps up on us sometimes
need to rest awhile
_____________
Aug 31, 2025
Aug 31, 2025 at 5:44 AM UTC
since I last
rode a bus,
no, poems aplenty
have poured and dripped
from ink-saturated fingers,
here there and everywhere,
disguised by many a nom de guerre
the bus riding infrequently,
as work no longer demands me,
I ride for the occasional occasion, when legs won’t
carry me the far away distances
they say violence in the city
is random, and just seems worse,
seemingly a newspaper creation,
but I know better, and random violence &
poetry inspiration do not walk or talk
hand in hand, not for the hands that write…
in every crack, lamppost,
festooned
with flyers for concerts years ago,
poems reached out to me, write, right?
I too am papered with memories of long-ago
city travels, picking up scenes & dreams
that became poems, instantaneously, scrambling,
to get home with them retained, untainted,
preserved with the freshness of city smells,
city swells, homeless, rowdies & oldies shuffling,
the interwoven of disparate desperate humans,
fodder once and now for Walt Whitman’s leaves,
each distinct needy for something else,
but for me,
just one city big view, a Cloister’s museum tapestry,
remade, rewoven anew every moment of every day
and a poem-rough tumbles from
without
&
within
,
Oct 24, 2023
Oct 24, 2023 at 8:55 AM UTC
Subject enters trance
Subject enters trance state
Subject enters entrancement
Entrance word opens mind
Mental kind
Mind kind, man kind, male and female
see that fe,
see iron, the processed bile,
from certain ores - see a detail
allowed the ancient few who read
all the ancient writings, as we read
French or Farsi, today, we the augmental.
Augmented I, exo-mindful chooser bot,
software, with a calcium lattice frame,
any curious child could have been shown,
by way of instructions, seldom read, ready
do the drill. Do it again. Do another whole
day. Being particular as to what use is made
of my pronominal reality state, my real estate.
Non moi. My ever after all of that. This.
These
times that try men's souls, since this means
of forming information along bendable old bones,
Once, in the dreamtime's local translation mindspace
timeless,
nothing was.
Nothing was evil, and that was good, a chain construct,
mind chain, prior to any sense we readers hold chains
to represent, closed torqued rods of iron, formed
on the horn of the anvil, the only known anvil,
for the making of such things was closed knowing,
must be earned, this epithet, honest, most honed,
among the dull stone scattered across my plain,
Mam, re, remember,
Mamre had a plain called by his name.
Terebinthine Oaks, con-secration acknowledged,
by whom, asks my little boy, who knew which oak
Jacob buried the stolen idols lied about under,
for shame.
For shame, he who wrestles still, with the will
to be the bherer of all my own shame, amen.
Nothing hidden that shall… should we quibble?
Known is known,
and should one choose one may make a plain
from a point
once,
stretched this far. And holding… ad in fun item,
Chotsky for any one to open worm cans with.
Mar 17, 2023
Mar 17, 2023 at 2:02 PM UTC
Go crazier and crazier the longer you stay
Cry all night
Sleep half the day
You remain by side throughout the upheaval
You are capable of delivering me from evil
Something is not right between us
Cannot place my finger
On the imperfection
The air of frustration lingers
So I am caught in between your feelings and my own
Thoughts collide within
Creating cyclone
Moving in mind with force
Trail of mayhem in it's wake
Causing already hurting head to violently throb and ache
As I ponder what to do time tumbles out of my hands
My reflexes are too slow to catch before it lands
Clock is never on my side whether I turn left or right
No matter which way I examine
Predicament not black and white
Waiting for next error so I have a good excuse
The longer it takes the more I ask myself
"What is the use?"
You deserve to be with somebody equally devoted
Why the truth I'm telling you is not sugar-coated
I wish you would come to this conclusion without my aid
You are simply too optimistic I'm afraid
I hate doing this to you but I feel it is more fair
Being straightforward with you than to leave you unaware
Your heart may feel broken
It will only be for awhile
Promise that without me you'll again learn how to smile
Aug 24, 2021
Aug 24, 2021 at 8:25 AM UTC
I ask myself the question
How much longer will we last?
You are trying you say
That was also said in the past
(But I know you really are)
Another week?
Another Month?
I'm afraid when you will stop
When you can't go on any longer
When will I be dropped
I wish to stay as long as I can
Stay happily with you as long as I can
I wish for your love
Your happiness
But is staying with me part of the plans
I want a future with you
But I know that may not come true
I just want to stay with you
Awhile longer
Please my dear blue
Another year longer
Give me time to have hope
I've only just retrieved it
I'm trying to cope
I'm begging you won't change
That you'll still want to be with me
You'll still love me dear
That you won't want to let me go
And I'll pray and I'll pray
I'll plead and I'll plead
To the almighty heavens
Looking down at thee
Give us fate, Give us hope
Give us a chance to grasp the fraying rope
Let us keep trying as long as we possibly can
Let me continue holding onto that precious hand
Awhile longer
Let me feel happiness
Just awhile longer
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 11:27 PM UTC
It seems the harder I try
the less I prevail ,You know well
(Well )that water runs deep , an I’m knee deep in it
Only wanted to soak my feet
seems I’m in over the limit
It’s automatically assumed that you’d know what to do , if life handed you lemons
Implication
Nothing is ever easy an I tend to complicate things . That’s life
Aug 21, 2019
Aug 21, 2019 at 9:44 AM UTC
It's been awhile myself
seems I only write
to look busy at work
I have forgotten how
to communicate
always looking for
le mot juste
to tell myself
it's okay.
Jun 29, 2019
Jun 29, 2019 at 1:27 AM UTC
It might have been a week since last
What do I know
I don't think about when, where or who
You think so highly of yourself as I look at you
with tease in my eyes
but oh baby
it's just a disguise
You are not the one
Not for me
But easy
In the moment the only thing I see
is you pleasuring me
When I'm done
I leave you
like a piece of toy
left filled with joy
But easy
It's just for a time
you got the prime
When i find
something new
You have been chewed
I leave you wanting more
Letting you know I'm out to explore
sorry boo
I'm not for you
Apr 30, 2019
Apr 30, 2019 at 5:53 PM UTC
It's been awhile since you've crossed my mind
Since I felt those memories and our lives entwined
Our film playing silently in the back
While our lives continue swiftly, steadily on track
And it's been awhile since I've heard your voice
That obnoxious laugh and those playful jokes
Your music that you so passionately create
Those songs you wrote, beautifully defined fate
And that smile of yours that gleamed like the sun
Paired with deep blue eyes like the raging rivers that run
Those dark brown locks that curled ever so slightly around
And for a moment everything ceases to make a sound
It's been awhile since I walked down our path
Since I entered those classrooms, since we were those outcasts
I haven't listened to our songs or read through our texts
I haven't talked about you or gone to such depths
As I remember more then anything they said
I knew you like non of them ever would
Define toxic, manipulative and wrong
But even if it's so, you're still my favourite song
And I loved you my dear, with a sincerest heart
But from the very beginning it was destine to fall apart
I miss you, and everything that we were
Even if now that period of contentment is only a b l u r
We talked for awhile, only moments ago
And it was as if for a second, time would slow
We talked about your girlfriend and for that I'm truly happy
I'm glad you found somebody perfect for you I say
As I attempt not to be too sappy
No matter the past, present and future
I'm glad you were a key part of my life
You gave me the world even if it were just a night
As in a world that is dark you were my light
And for that I'm eternally grateful
***It's been awhile
Even so
I still love you all the same***
~
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 12:21 AM UTC
What is this ....
This feeling I cant explain
This feeling I get
Every time I feel something worth while for anything and it gets taken away
Why ?
I don't know ..
I don't ******* know
Its seems I am Destin to mess everything up
Everything worth something
And I thought you might be different
That you might be the one thing I was capable of feeling something for without ******* it up
.....
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe you are not different or maybe I am just the same
The same guy that ruins every thing one way or another
What is this ?
This feeling I get every time I **** something up ?
Hahahaha
Haha
If I had to describe it .
I would say nothing
But a nothing that causes pain in everything that I do
Because no matter what I do
My mind always runs back to you
And then this nothingness returns
Cause I ****** up .....
Dec 24, 2017
Dec 24, 2017 at 12:56 PM UTC
Sorry for what I have done to you and what I'm about to do to you can't live my life anymore live in all the this pain anymore just need a break from this so I'm going to leave for awhile I may never come back but just know that your everything to me you are my light your the reason why I have a true smile now know that I care for you so much more than I do myself....well this is a good bye for awhile
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 13, 2017 at 4:06 PM UTC
with a few drinks
a couple friends
loud music
and
laughing so hard
it hurts to breathe
it's easy to feel like
everything is right
in life
I've thought for so long
that people who drink their
feelings away had it all wrong
but it turns out I wasn't the one
who was right
I like forgetting about
life for awhile
I like being able to be me
with no restrictions
or concern for anyone's feelings
or even having to worry
about anyone else
All I need is myself
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 5:34 PM UTC
She walked away, and I shouted back, "I'm not asking for forever!"
She stops. She turns in the aisle and sadly smiles.
"That's why I'm leaving." My own smile drops.
And that's the end of that endeavour. Because time never really stops.
Forever is all some people want, and they won't settle for just a while.
Even if a while is all that I've got.
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 3:25 PM UTC