#anixety
CAN EVERYONE HIDE THE TEARS
BEHIND ALL THE BRIGHT SMILES
CAN EVERYONE ACT NORMAL
WHEN THEY CAN'T EVEN BREATH
CAN EVERYONE WALK PROPERLY
WHEN THEIR HANDS AND LEGS WENT COLD
DOES EVERYONE ACT FINE WERE U ARE AT THE EDGE OF
JUMPING OF A CLIFF
DOES EVERYONE NEED ONE SOUL WHO CAN SEE THE
STRUGGLE TO BREATH
THE SHAKING HANDS
THE TEARS WHILE SIMLING
THE PAIN INSIDE ...
Dec 16, 2023
Dec 16, 2023 at 8:01 AM UTC
there's this feeling in my stomach
not like the sickness you feel when you have a stomach ache
or the butterflies of nervousness
maybe this isn't in my stomach at all
it's like a bunch of deer running in a field
but not gracefully
they're running from prey
it feels as if my chest tightens as my stomach sinks
it's a mixture of anxiousness and worry
May 24, 2021
May 24, 2021 at 12:18 AM UTC
JUST WE DIDN'T KNOW🌸
didn't even want to be with anyone...
there was no sorrow of separation...
so what was that...
JUST WE DIDN'T KNOW🌸
❤❤❤
❤❤
❤
knowing something happened us unknowingly!
we were unaware!
PARTICLE WAS PRESERVED FROM PARTICLE🌸
to make a dream house,
all dreams are broken!
but still,
there was no particle to see👁
JUST WE DIDN'T KNOW🌸
❤❤❤
❤❤
❤
Jun 16, 2020
Jun 16, 2020 at 8:44 AM UTC
Hand-painted ceramic turtles
camouflage in flower beds.
I discern their faces
at a distance.
Blind-sided kaleidoscope-
work fatigue
versus
the first breath of morning
in the heart of April.
I am awake,
half-alert,
inertia bleating in my bones
where is the steady drum of mercy
where is the heart inside my home?
White blossoms fall
like Disney snow
cans of Stella at my feet.
Cardboard boxes
damp and listless blow
across the lawn
and the silent street.
Amitriptyline
softens the edges.
A chemical reaction
that can never be
the Solution.
Spring is bleeding into colour
before my eyes.
I want to break the skin,
taste something sweet-
too scared that my timing
is not right.
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 3:30 AM UTC
Unstable and weak
Crying and blaming
My heart is heavy
My eyes filled with tears
My mind is scrambled
My mental illness consuming me
Accusing, abandoning, leaving
I can't think straight
My heart hurts from crying
I lost everyone I could
Pushed them away because I was unsure of myself
Now I have no one, no one to save me
Love doesn't even care for me
Hurt and alone
Want to die
Why did I do this to myself?
Can I really blame my mental illness?
Or is it really me who just caused this?
All I have left is my mental illness
No support, no love just me, myself, and I
Wish I could just **** myself but I'm too cowardly
And no one would ever want to help me because I push people away when things get scary
What to do now, have no clue
Guess I have to suffer now
There's no cure I'm stuck with this for life
It's my only ride or die now
No one will save me
c.m.l.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 3:58 PM UTC
it's here again, coming on strong
i can't control, this thing
eating away my insides
please send help
it's dark
quiet.
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017 at 10:34 PM UTC
To fall asleep tonight I'm thinking of last night's
dreams and tomorrow's nightmares all at once
like re-runs of the same television show aired years ago
by another person in another body, and I wonder
if they felt the distinct absence
of everything... a pain that has no source, but that can pierce
every nerve in my entire body until I'm screaming louder
than the ambulance's siren. At night we are all passengers
waiting for the sunrise's journey. And tonight I will think about
how the nurses feel when their patient dies
before they arrive at the hospital,
if they feel the pain that exploded from the victim's last breath,
if their ribcages feel just as hallow
as the ambulance itself is without anyone to rescue.
I flip on the television in my eyes, and suddenly
all I see is static.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 9:58 PM UTC
I wish you would get deported .
I curse the east European country that produced such a fine specimen of god like features
Coupled with a Zeus complex .
And all the series of unfortunate events that lead you too my small town eyes .
My guts haven't unraveled for days and I have forgotten what eating for enjoyment is as it all turns to ashes in my mouth .
Grief is a my white knuckled steering wheel , uncontrolled sobbing in traffic .
It is "our" dog barking at me to remember to breathe .
It is my mothers kisses on my hands because I cannot turn my head to meet her blue eyes cause they are the same color of yours .
For every cigarette I light I hope you light two
Because I'm drinking this poison but trying to **** you.
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014 at 6:40 PM UTC
i don't like being looked at
when people pay attention to me, i feel sick
i act like someone else in a group
--- though they wouldn't know it, since that someone else is
invisible
i have never felt comfortable in the spotlight
the center of attention needs to stay far away
from me
the thing is, my point is ---
i don't like being seen at all, whether or not it is as a
girl
but somehow, i'm doing this because i want people to...
what, exactly?
notice me? look at me? pay attention to me?
yes, this is logical.
as logical as believing in that which we can't prove.
but what would i know?
i'm just a kid.
i'm just doing this to be my own special snowflake, even though all i've ever wanted was to be
nothing.
Oct 1, 2014
Oct 1, 2014 at 8:23 PM UTC
I can write lists of things to do.. but I won't do them.
Raging thoughts.
Wayward feelings
and THE RUSH OF SOMETHING I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NAME OF.
Welcome to this world, I didn't know what the HELL I was getting myself into.
Thinking about what other people think way too much.. and then trying not to.
it doesn't work and I try not to.
BUT I STILL DO.
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 9:40 PM UTC