#altered
The clock in my head ticks counterclockwise,
As my sense of time then loses its hands.
Their shadows start lapping the room’s empty walls.
It’s then that I start to think I understand.
Some Familiar faces, they just looked my way,
But when I look back, I see the backs of their heads.
I know i could explain things I've never seen,
But I'd have to use words that no one ever says.
A name intrudes whispers and escapes my lips,
Of someone I know, but don’t know that I know.
I was planning for things happening yesterday,
With a mind that cannot even perceive tomorrow.
My clothes are there, folded in layers of my truth.
My methods are organized by my own confusion.
The knot that lives in between my heart and my throat
With inhales it tightens but it never really loosens.
To find what is real, i have now learned to search
In The silence that lives underneath my illusions.
Attempts to reshape some clarity from what
I’m sure are just faulty misleading delusions.
A word exists stuck on the tip of my tongue.
My name is not something I'll ever write down.
I’m remembered only by unknown forgetful tongues
Who’ve not ever spoken my name or your name aloud.
I once took a zoomed in picture of my eye.
It resembled that of amphibians or snakes.
I Drew myself as a person, but whole again,
But the person just instantly burst into flames.
I painted a picture of what you'd look like in heaven.
But the next day I noticed it was all rearranged.
I still don't know how I can feel so at home.
Inside this dream that feels so morbidly strange.
Jun 28, 2025
Jun 28, 2025 at 12:24 PM UTC
With the stillness of the void, I failed to exist.
My silhouette ripped away flesh from its mist.
My silence, my shelter, this singular state.
It whispers the paradox of truths in my fate.
In these depths of thought, as righteous as my sin,
Another me was synced into the symphony within.
This void, was a canvas. Our souls were the art.
Revealing dualities of my mind and heart.
Synchronized, and pure, we could finally sing.
I've longed for the closure I knew it would bring.
Here in the black where I'm vanished, I'm whole.
Past the infinite horizon, the home of my soul.
This silence, we keep so our secrets can dwell.
'Til the day we escape from the gates of our hell.
We are tethered at the soul. We exist hand in hand.
Protecting an existence no one would understand.
In the quiet of my conscience, you'll find the true me.
As infinitely clean as the energy I'll be.
In the realm I create to keep my heart from the cold.
Where my dreams hold the proof, I'll eternally grow.
In sync with my conscience, from the void, hums a tune.
It called me from beyond the dark side of the moon
And as I would chase, I'd no longer feel.
Heard a whisper from above say, "Reality is not real."
Then, I felt the earth breathe in my synchronized state.
Two souls blend as one, we now share the same fate.
Our emotions fly freely in the nothing. Enigmatic.
We embrace the obscure. We are lost in the static.
In quantum subconscious, the dark and light blend.
Showing every shade of me as one with no end,
Not dull and not bright. Not filthy nor clean.
There's black and white, we both exist there, in between.
Our silence, it screamed. Ripped fabric grew seams.
As sleepless as I am, in this void, I have dreams.
I whisper line the ether, that whispers to me.
Escaping all that is, to embrace all that will be.
Without need for understanding or firm beliefs,
I silently listened as the universe speaks.
I've seen another me in the nothing. Enigmatic.
Living in the obscure, he found a home in my static.
May 21, 2025
May 21, 2025 at 11:18 AM UTC
It's actually a pretty simple formula.
You inquire about
All the folk & mythology
Of any given area.
Investigate the philosophy
Inherent or lacking of each.
As a whole
And by each parable.
Reduce the content
To a "digestible" format.
Substitute words or phrases
Which do not conform
To the rest of the tapestry.
And the first to sew
Did so to sow¹,
Not to make sows².
A condensed collection of the known world's beliefs!
That is,
They wanted things to grow.
To fruit rather than in snout style.
Silk, amber, jade, spice, salt,
Tea, tin, & royal.
Those routes we did the walk
And therein had good talks!
It's been completely butchered beyond recognition!
Apr 18, 2025
Apr 18, 2025 at 11:11 AM UTC
The Nighttime Skies have altered, altering us…
The nightly showing of twinkling heavens, fulsome,
brimming, as can now be seen but only in a planetarium
program, always was a delight to our ******** citified
visitors, who received this free reminder of Earth’s
non-centric role in the universe, happily, for it jived
senses with common sensibility, confirming an assumptive
reality with yes! my-eyes-can-see-it proofs, that many city
folk only hope & assume are yet true someplace else
‘out there.’
Night light pollution, a life feature just assumed as
a costless cost of doing business of our modern
population distribution, has horrendous mental
consequences for a generation of me-me-me
young ones, who lack the lessons in real awe,
not by way of a video game, but by never having seen a
Milky Way,
constellations and planets
that were so necessary to
critical cortical thinking p,
human beliefs,
re the totality of
existence a mere
two hundred or
so years ago.
The star’s disappearance for so much of our population,
reenforces the notion of our own centricity, get it?
A world centered on the city.
The truer star studded sky knows not
of gender neutrality,
racial disharmony,
through a
“I am not the universe “ perspective,
for in this large than life realer than real
exterior externality,
which why, by the by,
is mega black and white duopoly,
makes who is bigger no better than smaller,
for all but magnified speckles
all now more of a minor
irrelevant relativity.
When all the worlds are watching, not just the world, but
a Universe of unknown worlds are judging, studying us,
and maybe our lives are mighty picayune,
but amore humbled and yet precious, do we not need to be
always on our best behavior?
the fact is that we who are but 80 miles from nyc’s borderline can no longer sky-testify, be reminded of our planetary’s liveliness- uniqueness and our proper place on the largest tapestry
of the always, of the forever, of the
majesty and harmonious coexistence.
I am naive and a proper fool, and I do not know if it is the new smoking of the planet, spread of the seemingly innocuous
city boundaries encroaching on our rural existence, or a new physicality condition that makes our nights a pungent blackened cloud, and that so many can not say of the awesomeness
mystery above us, and think
with humility
our destiny,
our alignment
“is in the star’s.”
Alas poor Yorick, even your creator, the poet William Shakespeare, who understood human frailties too well, conceded that,
”it is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.”
But the again,
he could nightly gaze
upon them,
and we cannot!
He also conceded, to attempt to balance
the imbalances of our
visual scales,
and magnetic moral compasses,
writing,
indeed!
*”there are more things in heaven *and earth*”
Jul 30, 2023
Jul 30, 2023 at 3:58 AM UTC
I did not believe,
standing on the bank of a river
which was wide and swift,
that I would cross
that bridge plaited from thin,
fragile reeds fastened with bast.
I walked delicately,
as a butterfly
and heavily
as an elephant,
I walked surely
as a dancer
and wavered like a blind man.
I did not believe that I would cross that bridge,
and now that I am standing
on the other side,
I do not believe I crossed it.
Apr 19, 2022
Apr 19, 2022 at 11:23 AM UTC
An altered state
an increasing rate of change
developing a personal beauty range
Dec 9, 2020
Dec 9, 2020 at 3:21 AM UTC
As the lights went dim
I found myself adrift
into an altered reality
And that's about
the furthest I can get,
away from this harsh
substantiality
Sep 20, 2019
Sep 20, 2019 at 3:09 AM UTC
I have nothing to live for now
Life feels pointless and has no meaning since we parted
And I have to wonder...
Did the sun stop shining for you as well?
Colors do not appear as bright as usual
Food I used to love doesn't taste the same
Every single song I listen to has transformed into the saddest ballad ever composed
Even the tight ball of worry has shifted position in my stomach
The hoodie you got me for Christmas burns my lonely skin with longing...
I wear it anyway
Without you the world just isn't quite right
Like the whole planet has tilted a few degrees on it's axis
To compensate for the gravity of our separation
Every hour looks the same as before
They really aren't
Their steady pace remains the same and they take the same route they always do but they are anything but unchanged
Because they feel so much heavier now
So wrong
I stumble from one interaction to the next
Saying my words
Smiling my smile
Directing my limbs
Being the person I was
Yet, I am not her anymore
My life is still my life
My friends are still my friends
My heart is still mine in my chest
My teardrops still fall from my eyes
My feelings are still the mess they've been for years
Yet, it isn't my life anymore
I wake up and apply mascara to a stranger's face
Put socks on a strangers feet
Brush a stranger's teeth
Answer to a stranger's name
Because the girl everyone knows is gone and all that's left is this routine perfected by the walking corpse she left behind
Maybe it isn't the world that is irrevocably altered
Maybe what has broken isn't the shade of the morning sky or the smell of cedar shavings or the sound of pouring rain splashing against puddles
Maybe nothing is actually different at all
Except me
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:21 PM UTC
Two ***** Slam Her Slutty Throat
As Alt **** Kat Monroe Slobbers
& Gags On ***** the newest wannabe
superstar hood-rat throat destroyed,
Charley Chase throat ****** roughly;
Lyla Storm used as **** meat pukes
on 2 ***** [new) 2 news guys throat
**** Asian **** **** Jeanna Silk...
new first timer Jeanna Silks throated;
Ashely Luvbug's throat & *****
****** hard; **** **** Martina
throat used & degraded;
new puke ***** Sade Sparx
back to back w/
19 year old ***** Sephora
degraded by ***** *** **** Vannah Sterling
creamed after rough **** & throat
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 11:22 AM UTC
focus—
artificial, just like the pill bottle.
the world condenses, collapses into a pin-point right in front of my eyes
and into my paper or computer screen
thoughts racing at light speed
my mind trying to digest its own thoughts--
confusion,
state of hyper-realism (Who am I again?)
an alternate dimension of higher thought
whirling,
running,
spinning,
racing,
crash into an hour (or two) from now
and fall down
hard, into the present.
Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 8:30 AM UTC
lightening doodles
night and city lights dissolve,
more or less than than real?
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 20, 2017 at 11:49 AM UTC
A moment frozen in time;
Sublime and reclining
Speckled clouds in the sky.
A moment to reflect on
My minds eye divining
My mood weaves the meadows
in which I do graze,
Breeze on my face,
The echo
of natures innocence resounding.
What is this place?
Why is it so hard to reach?
Still to my bones.
So aware
so aware of it all.
This altered conscious hears my plea.
**A warm, deep breath
for my soul,
resetting life's toll on me.**
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015 at 7:23 PM UTC
Vasodilation,
Making my skin crawl.
Wander through the window pane,
and paint the way you want.
Wondering why walls wax and wane,
Breathing deep to call my name.
Vasodilation, to the numbing of my brain.
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 5:55 PM UTC
Wonder past fallen thought
No curse of words with figbts I fought
So break my mind in tattered dreams
Altered states of liquid screams
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 29, 2015 at 12:30 AM UTC
I fall in love the way I fall asleep:
Slowly and then not at all!
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014 at 10:22 PM UTC
If the tiles of talking
are replaced by something else,
say, lexical snowflakes,
where will our linear minds be?
It's not that we don't understand
weird, multifoliate simultaneities
in dreams, in anguish,
or in ecstasy. It's just
the rest of the dumb time
we stand there and pull
from our mouths a usual
piece of numb string.
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 2:16 PM UTC
Altering your mind to keep
Thoughts out, may alter
your heart from letting
Feelings in...
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 9:39 AM UTC
The smile so bright
I felt illuminated
Has chewed me up
Forgetten to spit me out
Trapped, held in the grooves
Of your sharpened smile
Converted cracks and crevices
Into the maps of my mind
I am scraps
Shreds with missing pieces
Caught between crimson gums
Hope your next victim
Will taste me on your tongue
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 11:40 AM UTC
O time!
The cost I have lost to thee
Why hath thou broken me?
Once so close
Now so far
A bond no longer
A friendship altered
An acquaintance acquired
An unwanted shift
Forever a slave to the changing winds
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014 at 9:46 AM UTC
If I left no censor on the story,
Took the best and left the worst.
You wouldn't stand with open arms,
You'd be at a loss of words.
I'll remember what you preached on what really makes a man,
Make no amends as I admit I feel that this,
Is. The. End.
*Wake up, ******* wake up, this is just the beginning*
How can I parent new beginnings?
When I haven't gotten farther than my own reflection as the storyboard?
Tragic note to self, no longer suicide,
You can never truly live a life worth meaning, if you can't forgive yourself.
I wrote this for someone close to my heart,
A companion, friend, lover, one who tears me apart,
But that gives me life and a reason to live,
Literally,
The future's more important than just some kid.
This isn't about me anymore, my vices, my deeds, or my circumstances.
Because the product of me is coming,
And I don't want my worldly pain to burden a pure heart,
I guess I owe myself second chances.
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 2:59 AM UTC