#abusiverelationships
I’m sorry to inform you that you’ve called outside of business hours
Please leave your message after the beep
It’s time for me to prioritize my sleep
And I’m done letting you abuse your power
So enjoy the company of my voicemail
And ignore the alert that the message failed
For more options you can press one
But I hope you know that you and I are done
Dec 4, 2025
Dec 4, 2025 at 4:53 PM UTC
I have just taken the first breath of fresh air after being held underwater for so long that I thought for sure I was going to die.
I could’ve sworn I’d already gotten out of the water a long time ago,
I remember fighting for so long to swim out,
But no, I remember now.
Just as I had caught sight of the shore there was a man there rushing to help me out.
Thank god because I was exhausted after fighting so hard for so long,
I do not know if I could’ve gotten out without help, and I told him as much.
He offered me such kindness that it seemed easy to put my trust in him,
And so I did.
I looked over my shoulder one last time to take in the place I had run from and prepared to say my final goodbyes to it,
After all there had been good memories made here too,
Before I had been pushed in,
Although those seemed like forever ago now.
I take a deep breath and start to turn my head forward once again,
But all of a sudden my legs are no longer there on the ground holding me up.
I do not know what is going on but the water surrounding me threatening to enter my lungs feels so familiar,
I almost let it consume me.
I did not even realize I was being held under until he loosened his grip for what was only a moment,
But that was all it took for me to take that first breath and run.
Oct 29, 2024
Oct 29, 2024 at 9:23 PM UTC
Chest tube leaking blood from the side of my breast
Alone and uncertain
in a pale blue hospital dress
He told me he loves me
With a closed fist that felt like a loaded gun
cracking two ribs that must have argued with my lung
sign this waver
We’re running out of time
I wonder if he wouldof brought flowers to my grave.
If I didn’t write my name on that line
Sep 8, 2021
Sep 8, 2021 at 2:00 AM UTC
Sometimes I wish there was a world
in which you didn't exist
A world where I can laugh
without a judging gaze
A world where I can cry
without being told to **** it up
A world where I can tell a story
without it being cut too short
A world where I can be myself
without trying too hard
A world where I can have friends
without YOU telling me your jealous
A world where I can have my own opinion
without YOU saying that it's stupid
A world where I can be honest
without YOU yelling at me
A world where I can love myself
without feeling like I'll never be good enough for
YOU
Sometimes I wish there was a world
in which you didn't exist
but sometimes I wonder
if I'm wishing for too much
Aug 18, 2021
Aug 18, 2021 at 4:18 PM UTC
"Hey sorry I'm late"
"Are you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah I just got stuck at work."
"I was so worried"
"I'm okay"
"I’m sorry I-- You didn’t show up and I-- I started to panic--"
"Okay well I’m here now… I'm okay. Are you?"
"So what-- Do you think I’m not okay?"
"I-- I didn’t mean it like--"
"You think I’m not okay… I-- I’m okay!"
"Okay"
"I’m okay."
"O-Okay."
"Let’s sit dow--"
They slap him across the face.
Their rings cut into his skin.
Blood trickles down his cheek.
"I-- I’m so sorry-- I don’t know what got into me."
"It’s… It’s okay…"
"I’m sorry."
"It’s okay."
"I’m sorry."
"It’s okay. It was an accident."
It was an accident.
It's always an accident.
They claw his back until he bleeds.
It was an accident.
They push him against a wall.
It was an accident.
He goes to work with a black eye.
"It was an accident."
Jul 7, 2021
Jul 7, 2021 at 9:11 PM UTC
[Reupload]
When you looked into my eyes
and said you'd never let me go.
Did you intend to throw it away?
You stripped me of my trust.
The lines of code in front of my eyes
keeps me from telling you of my hurt.
Its like a barrier freezing my body.
You took away my innocence.
I want to break free of this mess
but you keep holding me back.
You keep me from leaving your clutches.
I need to escape this before its too late.
You control my life
as if I'm just a puppet on strings.
"I'm not a toy to play with", I say
But youre too busy to hear.
Aug 21, 2019
Aug 21, 2019 at 11:48 PM UTC
It was in that moment when I couldn’t walk outside wearing shorts that I knew society was ****** up
It was in the moment that my shirt that hung off my shoulders meant that I wanted to have *** that I knew society was ****** up
Because we’re built on grounds that say if you’re still a ****** you’re dull and boring and if you’re not, you’re a ***** in waiting
We’re built on grounds that call girls ****** and ***** if they don’t give it up we’re built on grounds where we make girls feels worthless because they say no
It was in the moment that your hands trailed my skin in a sin that I knew society was ****** up and when I told someone how your evil hands played me like a toy that it was automatically my fault because my shirt was too low and all my makeup basically said I was asking for it. But the difference between you and I was that I saw my body as a temple and you turned my temple into a sinful pool so the second time your hands wanted to play tag with my body I didn’t say anything my unresponsive language was enough to make you think I said yes because I was petrified by your greasy grimy hands that I froze and when I tried telling my mom she said guys will be guys and that I needed to move on so when you came back for the third time I didn’t scream or shout I didn’t try to fight back I thought guys will be guys and I need to move on.
Jul 14, 2019
Jul 14, 2019 at 9:14 PM UTC
Just trying to get past yesterday before dismay leads me astray ,
Im struggling to get away from all these twisted games you play,
Its manipulation by interrogation it’s your medication for my segregation,
The explanation of your dedication is a demonstration of your reputation,
It’s mental torture,
Pure abuse that slowly tightens like a noose,
Its a pain that hides beneath the nights of tortured lies and vicious fights,
You have the power to articulate which allows you to intimidate,
But you manipulate to illustrate that I’m the one that’s ill of fate.
It’s survival in a hated state,
Using me as tempted bait,
You have to know it’s time to go,
Before it ends up being too late.
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 2, 2019 at 11:48 AM UTC
Snow-so pure. So
fresh.
So childish.
Small, splattering, scarlet droplets
is all it takes to take away the
value of something so pure.
Making it something.
Damaged. matured.
Scarlet that looks smooth
as silk
Puts on a facade for something brutish,
Scandalous, even.
Fluffy white sheets are graceful with the way
on the house they lay.
Inside, the spacious skeleton is more demanding.
haunting. Echoes of yelling. Cursing. breaking.
Shattering-
is it my time?
scarlet painting her own face.
no. this is the
beginning.
Of a journey.
A quest.
a low, grumbling, gutteral
sound.
More scarlet.
For darkness she begged.
for eternal slumber she dreamt.
anything to wash away this scarlet mess.
Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 8:30 PM UTC
I tried opening my eyes,
All I saw was a teary-eyed blur.
I couldn't see your deceiving smile.
I couldn't see your alluring blackhole eyes.
I was blinded from all the tools you used to lure me into your trap.
My loud wails overpowered every lie you could ever tell.
And the salty taste of my tears, erased all memory of the taste of your lips.
The excrutiating pain on my chest, and my extreme pants for air, killed all the butterflies I'd felt for you.
In that moment, when everything that led me to you was blocked out,
I was able to finally look into myself and realise my own worth.
The scars and bruises you left all over my body,
Shall forever be a reminder never to let a man like you back in my life.
Crying saved my life.
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 6:44 AM UTC
The tug of ‘love’
Or rather tug of war
Under the thumb
His temper flares
He sees the red mist
She disobeyed
He clenches his fists
In a white hot rage
She argues back
He tries to silence
But he’ll never admit
He’s prone to violence
‘She winds him up’
Or so he says
‘They’re all mentally ill’
‘He’s the one who’s sane’
She’s out the door
He yells in the street
In fast pursuit
As she tries to flee
But his claws are embedded
Deep in her psyche
Ingrained for decades
And she just can’t fight it
‘He didn’t do it’
‘She made it up’
So on it goes
This tug of ‘love’
He won’t confess
Even to himself
Thus it continues
As he refuses help
Thus like a yo-yo
He yanks her back in
And spins her in his lies
Until she’s bound up in string
There’s no escape
Alas, it seems
A fight to death?
Is that the key?
The cavalry has been
Time and time again
But time and time again
Neither will relent
Embroiled in this saga
For all to see
Until one of them succumbs
To their own mortality.
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 5:14 PM UTC
I've laid on my back
And taken you willingly,
Because I thought I was powerless...
And you thought you were powerful.
But if you look closely,
You'll find we're the same.
Just two sides of a coin...
Who can't see each other's face.
And don't know each other's name.
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 3:57 PM UTC
The fear
The terror
The nightmares
Every night
Always the same
I'm afraid
I'm so afraid
And I don't know why
I have no bad history
No reason to be afraid
And yet I am
So very afraid
Aug 29, 2017
Aug 29, 2017 at 9:30 PM UTC
You were once my sunshine
Shines through my face
Hiding all those disgrace
With your innocent looking face
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 10, 2017 at 7:35 AM UTC
You think I'm a joke
Maybe I was always a game to you
Don't be sad when I disappear
Acting like you didn't know
You're the reason I'm feeling this way
Extra pain
Time to break away
From your enchanting spell
Why do you put me through all this hell
Yeah you're hurting but you're not the only one
I'm choking up
Holding back the words I hate you
I won't do to you what you did to me
I won't degrade you
If you get stabbed in the back
You're not supposed to pull the weapon out
But I have to let this thing die
You cause me physical and mental pain
Verbally, with your mouth
And I want out
So I pulled out the dagger
Don't cry now
I gave you a chance
And you pranced all over it
Because to you I'm nothing
You never loved me
So goodbye
I'm staggering back
But I've made up my mind
Why is this so hard for me?
Apr 22, 2017
Apr 22, 2017 at 1:02 PM UTC
he really is mean, you know
really, truly mean
and i know
yes, i know
so why do you keep sleeping in his bed?
it makes no difference
and you, you know this
you are not a person
you are hardly a body
he is so mean
and you fall asleep crying
(you've been crying every day)
but i, i love him, you know
and yet tell me this -
is this love you harbor
worth all of this ache?
this ache you can't escape
you know how to though
but you wait
you wait and wait
purely in vain
but i love him
and he loves me
but he is so, so mean
Oct 22, 2016
Oct 22, 2016 at 12:31 AM UTC
it's 23:53 and if i were to swear that this would be the last poem i write about you
i'd be lying
pain is a far more sustainable fuel than happiness;
it keeps the poet's engine whirring
and darling
all you've ever done is hurt me
00:01
i spent six minutes contemplating how much damage you caused,
the way you ran me off the road, swerving down dark paths i'd never known existed before
i didn't receive compensation for the emotional whiplash you left me with
the words "i love you" make my nerves twinge
Jun 30, 2016
Jun 30, 2016 at 7:02 PM UTC
*so i let my guard down
and i did.*
"let me make you happy"
*but there was pain
and it became all i knew.*
"i love you"
*but you hit me
and i didn't understand why.*
"i won't hurt you"
*liar.
liar liar liar.*
"you wanted it"
*did i really?
i believed you.*
"you could have said no"
*but i did,
you just never listened.*
Jun 28, 2016
Jun 28, 2016 at 11:12 AM UTC
wanted you to see
your detrimental effects
wanted you to experience
the ways in which you were hurting me
wanted you to say, 'i'm sorry'
and mean it
wanted you to see
everything
that destroyed me
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 5:44 PM UTC
i think you traumatized me black and blue
black and blue
black and blue
all of the bruises
they are free from my skin
but not from my head
you traumatized me
black and blue
black and blue
Apr 30, 2016
Apr 30, 2016 at 10:41 AM UTC
you can hate me for all that i am worth
(which is nothing at all)
i can't believe how you sat there and just watched me choke
(all over your spiteful words)
and then when it was all over you would take my hand
(i'm sorry, i love you, i promise it won't happen again)
and a week later here i was, begging you to see the damaging effects of your blows
(but you made me so mad, quit making me so mad and i won't do this again)
how many countless nights did i fall asleep with a bruise on my cheek
(it's a new morning, i love you, i love you, i'm sorry for last night)
why did i find myself still loving you? love should not hurt, but
(i love hurting you, more than i actually love you)
and here we went, here we go, i'm at the mercy of your first, just please don't go
but i ******* want to go
Apr 25, 2016
Apr 25, 2016 at 4:38 AM UTC
To love a man that gives you the moon and all of the constellations,
this gift, I did not receive.
Instead, I loved a man who could create skies of jade and violet among any area of his choosing with his own bare hands.
To love a man that gives you a bouquet of twelve burgundy roses,
this gift, I did not receive.
Instead, I loved a man who could produce a field of golden pansies atop my right cheek with his own fingertips.
To love a man that gives you a kiss beneath a lantern string of lights,
this gift, I did not receive.
Instead, I loved a man who could shoot the most colorful of fireworks and streamers from the booming sound of his own voice.
To love a man that gives you a floral path from the door to a candle-lit room,
this gift, I did not receive.
Instead, I loved a man who could toss a book through the air and before it struck my skin, it would burst into pink rose petals with a clap from
the same bare hands that painted me jade and violet skies.
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 10:25 AM UTC