#5
hey!
you
there
in the dark
come into the light
i cannot see you
is that you
baring your teeth at me
or are you grinning
at my
unknowingness
that's it
don't be shy
it's just the glare
cascading off the reflection
of the wading pool
shining back
at you
at me
at us
together
in this
darkness
but
if we come into the light
we can dance
ripple the water
& change the tide
until it
no longer knows
where you begin
& i end
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 11:57 AM UTC
The incredible hysteria of fear
Of their own hands choking themselves
Should they ever lose their privilege!
Jul 21, 2025
Jul 21, 2025 at 12:00 PM UTC
#5: warm welcome, a kind beginning begun
_______________________________________
it is a bit of a shock, the world of words
more often swallows & surrounds you up between walls of impenetrable silence
you actually read me, heard me, even
fed me! they taught me/us to diagram
our sentences into its component parts,
like a car going to an auto body shop,
*** my car needed a muffler but instead
I was given a new horn, and I’m in an empty
Walmart parking lot, unsurrounded,
and leaning on the horn, making
a fireworks celebration of one sound,
and your
warm welcome, kind welcome,
to a visitor to this new planet,
astonishes & astounds, for it
seems we speak the sane/same
language, how can this be???
Is smiling a word on this planet?
Feb 2, 2025
Feb 2, 2025 at 4:02 AM UTC
i tell myself not to chide you child
not to berate you into a convenient obedience
yet....
just last Monday eve
i told your voice that it was shrill like a hurt bird
(that cuts a career as Singer out of your future)
just yesterday
i told you graphically and with crazed gestures
about the dangers of the open upstairs window
(a future fear of heights may well be on its way)
and i remember once
i told your body that society frowns upon ******
(that'll ensure future embarrassment shame
and ****** awkwardness)
i chide myself now
these practices must cease
Feb 3, 2025
Feb 3, 2025 at 3:27 PM UTC
healing hands
careful heart
but at what cost?
Oct 22, 2024
Oct 22, 2024 at 12:52 AM UTC
Distraught,
Destroyed,
Dis,
embodied.
My halls,
The walls,
my wicked falls turn'd from stone,
dissolved to nary a diffid tone thrown by ******* bones.
An amorphous form born from the aimless mourning that now has no space to face and call my own.
Telltale swarms of which I myself did warn would come,
Once and again I crumble from what once which I would succumb.
Myself. Dear. Gone.
I am,
afloat in limbo forever struck with what,
I Left only to silence my mind until once again,
I would find the cut.
...
Page 2
My totality revised,
Scratched through like the words unworthy.
Smoothed over the rough draft,
Autobiography progressive,
Nary writing another day's pages.
Jul 7, 2021
Jul 7, 2021 at 4:31 PM UTC
i loved you.
i wanted nothing more than to be with you,
so am i really okay breaking your heart like this?
intentionally playing the villain is just so much easier,
than having to explain a loss.
sometimes i think that i still do.
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 4:47 PM UTC
In the empty but crowded places
In the heart full of things and people
In the love that screams needs
In the darkness of lights
I hope I have that someone
in whose heart there is a special place
with whom the crowded places seems empty with just him and me
The needs of ours are fulfilled with love
And in each others happiness We are able to love our darkness too.
Nov 3, 2020
Nov 3, 2020 at 1:49 AM UTC
the clouds grow heavy
and now the rain falls softly
the animals dance
Aug 18, 2020
Aug 18, 2020 at 8:32 PM UTC
Lift the crumb-sized bit to your lips,
Hesitate until it's too late for hesitation,
Fold to tongue and absorb those tasty, harmless
Spider footprints and germatic warzones.
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 12:32 AM UTC
MorningSunDirtyDishesDwindlingFridgeOhNowTheKidsAreUpWhere'sMyAssignmentDueDamnThatDogWrongShoesRightShoesCan'tForgetTheLunchCarNeedsGasLaundryLaterProfessorAssignedANOTHERPaperCoffeeBreakMyLibraryChairIsTakenWhyOhWhyDidIHaveToGetTheCubicleNextToTHEMStaringAtAScreenInsuranceCompanyCalledForgotToCheckTheWaterHeaterGottaPickUpThatNewCoatForMySonWhyOhWhyIsTheClockSoDamnSlowManMyBackHurtsWhyDidn'tIGetAStandingDeskIAlmostForgotOfficeHoursFINALLYTimeToClockOutMomLookAtThisDadSheHitMeDidNotDidTooDAMNThatLaundryIForgotItOfCourseTheProfessorWouldLeaveFiveMinutesEarlyOhGottaBuyPresentsForCousinStaceyOhFUCKDidYouJustSpillGrapeJuiceOverTheNewCarpetYouDidIShouldn'tSwearAtTheKidsEvenMoreMountainsOfHomeworkNowTheBaby'sScreamingTheDishesAreStillDirtyHiHoneyI'mHomeCan'tTalkGottaGetDinnerReadyLooksLikeALongNightAtTheLibraryAgainAndTheLawnNeedsToBeMowedGodI'mSoTired-
"Can I do that for you?"
"Here, let me take care of it."
"Don't worry honey, I took out the trash already."
Silence.
More than silence.
Space. Freedom. The radiant light crossing the distance between the worries pressing your spine and a task checked off by someone else when you weren't looking.
It is an air valve popping loose.
A throat suddenly choked up even as the tension melts away from your muscles. Sacrificial love replacing the items on your to-do list, one by one. Your mind free to think again, to live again.
An oasis in a blinding desert, planted by another person, fertilized with their perception, and watered with their care.
It's not just that a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It's that you're now weightless.
They have shouldered your burdens with a tender smile.
They have helped you learn to fly again.
Jul 24, 2020
Jul 24, 2020 at 9:18 PM UTC
Haven't replied in 4 days,
Wish you would've done an effort,
To understand me.
But you didn't.
Jul 17, 2020
Jul 17, 2020 at 11:46 AM UTC
I pieced it back together,
It took me forever,
It's still fragile,
I'm trusting you,
Please don't break it again,
I don't think I can fix it this time.
I can't afford another forever.
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 9:23 AM UTC
The Cost
“5 minutes to write, 5 minutes to edit and 10 more to cease weeping,”
when the inquiry arrives, how long/where from it comes,
gave this answer
more or less the response accurate
more or less the weeping really never ceases
I will return to it again, **** poem
random when, unreasoned why, wherefore
a stumble, a message, months from now, tomorrow,
even decades and I’ll remember the precise circumstances
for each poem has a Cost, that excises a piece of you, a new cut,
freshly salted, an antibiotic of loving may remove the
redness, but not the white line, so what you call a scar, I,
I call it an etched memory preserved
the sum of all These Costs, all these memories,
cumulative, additive, addictive - someone says:
stop being so sensitive, leave the telling to others,
or keep them in plastic bags, dated, retrievable,
in case an antiretroviral antidote is ever needed,
a fresh injection when you think you could even
cease to care
The Cost is always capitalized, for the Cost is called human capital,
the invisible financing that permits our existence till all spent,
when we’ve run out of drawer space, zipper bags,
breaths to be taken away and glass jars to store them,
if the mind says no more! then it will be ok,
for you are all spent
The Cost so great! this a double entendre,
for they are the stuff of me, whatever greatnesses
I ever possessed within them kept and believed,
happily paid for past and present, for the future,
will happily pay for it right now, again and again,
for the Costs are who I am, till, such time that
Costless arrives, eyes closed, nothing left to post,
to recall, no coin to give, my purposed all paid,
as if all paid could ever cause my weeping to cease
Mon May 4
10:48 am
May 5, 2020
May 5, 2020 at 3:11 PM UTC
believe
that you can surely shuffle your miserable untested
vocabulary into never been heard before combo’s,
believe
your insights have never transversed in my blood stream,
a poem unheard, yours, a transfusion of not-my-blood type
believe
you are special in life, in love, in pain, in sad madness,
only you can feel primarily and primitive, all of us, tertiary
does the optimist mock you?
most certainly not.
achieve
poems are allusions, born each time, first time, summary illustrations
of eyes, mouth, all your sensations together, make a messy birth canal
achieve
your first is our first as well, make the risk-taken a celebration,
newness is a gift unique, bond us to your children issue nouvelle
achieve
with insolence of the blind beggar, a teasing teaspoon of outrageous
good fortune, a fist hammering breakthroughs of pain and glory
N.B.
my words have been tasted by thousands of thousands,
a fleeting glory that is instantly lost to the crumbling
dissatisfaction that all that your needs, your findings, solutions,
the breaking of the chains of your boundaries, drawn by imposition,
the fragility of the lines that contour your image, make you nothing, are nothing more than just another poet which is the most,
most glorious honor one can proudly bestow upon oneself
Nov 7, 2019
Nov 7, 2019 at 6:49 PM UTC
Pin me down the bed.
Touch my body, kiss my neck.
I don't miss your toxic "love"
But I want your body back.
Nov 4, 2019
Nov 4, 2019 at 1:27 PM UTC
If I can't see it in 5yrs then I shouldn't give it 5mins of my time.
I'm bothering her constantly already provoked some hostility. I want a woman who knows how to satisfy her man.
I'm young & ambitious starring at the cosmos knowing if the circumstances were in my favor I'd take her.
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 11:51 PM UTC
Hey. Here's another letter kinda thing. Been writing these a lot lately. In my mind, never on paper. I don't really know how to explain what I feel anymore. It's like, I have this sense of feeling? Like I know that they're here, but I just can't seem to find them? Like I can see someone else in front of me, while knowing that they are a person with feelings and thoughs, but not being able to recognise them. Not being able to see the person standing there. Like I can see all of it, but not knowing that it's there. It kinda scares me, in a way. Like I see myself, but not me. Like I see something I was, that people still see as me. I don't know anymore. I've been trying to get my feelings out, and I still am, I just don't succeed often. This is seemingly the only way to get out whatever I'm thinking or feeling. Which is a lot, but also nothing at the same time. I feel lost, so incredibly lost. The world's passing me by and I'm behind a ******* window trying to reach it, but I can't. I never did. I just taught people how to communicate with me through that stupid barrier. It never went away. But if people don't come close to you they won't notice that, so it's fine I guess. And then you came in and smashed the entire thing with a ******* hammer. I wasn't used to opening up to people, especially not people who understand. But, I'm glad I did, and glad that you are here to listen. I don't open up to people much. Been botteling these emotions since 2006, so it's hard to open the bottle now. But I'm trying, and I can't thank you enough for being there with me. Thank you, so much. I love you, bye.
Oct 8, 2019
Oct 8, 2019 at 2:52 PM UTC