my mother says i have an addictive personality, that i become addicted to people and places and routines. i become so intrinsically intertwined with them that i can no longer differentiate between the parts of me and the pieces i've picked up along the way. i love obsessively, captivated entirely.
my grandmother gave me a diamond necklace for my 18th birthday. i haven't taken it off since. i wear it all day, at the gym, in the shower, chain strung around my neck like a noose. i will wear it until the clasp digs into the back of my neck, skin melding around it like a tree branch growing through a chain link fence. i will wear it to bits, until there is nothing left. i can't accept jewellery as a gift anymore because how could i ever take off this necklace. i don't know when to give it a rest, let it breathe.
i latch onto people, lose myself in their mediocre attention, and watch as my personality slips through their fingers until i have nothing left of myself to offer. i pick bits of people and places out from underneath my nails, storing them in my bedside drawer with 21 years of cards and broken jewellery.
i am absolutely suffocating.
Nov 24, 2025
Nov 24, 2025 at 9:30 AM UTC
it feels as though the past is holding my arm behind my back,
shoving my cheek into the dirt with the barrel of it's gun.
it's desperately yelling at me.
i can read the terror and anguish in its eyes, but,
i can't understand what the words coming out of its mouth are.
everywhere i look, i see shards of a mirror,
prior worlds, where i'm a hostage.
my teeth are bared, and there's blood all over the floor,
a constant between each window.
why don't i want to leave my confines anymore?
i guess the scars have made me numb to the rope burns.
the kidnapper approaches me at my heights of despair,
and gently tucks my hair behind my ear.
i laugh, helplessly.
unable to do anything but cater to their feelings.
i think ive finally ******* lost my mind.
Nov 24, 2025
Nov 24, 2025 at 9:04 AM UTC
I know better than to pray for you.
Wind knocks down every streetlamp of this twilight boulevard.
Muddied moss dirties the weathering walls of this snowy burial.
Feathered blue light can hardly seep in through the white drapes,
Casting our black silhouettes in several different directions.
Red liquid bleeds out of my carved open heart.
"You are safe, right?"
I wonder what your comfort would feel like,
Wistfully searching for life within an empty void.
Moldavite chandeliers fall from the ceiling and shatters around me.
Falling down to my knees helplessly before you,
Crystals catch and refract the light as they bob off my eyelashes.
Reaching out in vain, my fingertips can only brush the edge of this boundary.
You have to understand, i want to talk to you.
I flick the lights but it only makes the darkness glow,
What kind of blade do i need to cut through and reach you?
Miracles are only within reach when i'm unconscious,
Fueled by the fragments of our memories that coat the corners of my mind with ink.
Can't you see that i don't want to do this?
Rocking myself in the darkness, waiting for you to realize.
You have to feel it too, please tell me you feel it too.
I wish my feelings could reach you.
Mar 16, 2025
Mar 16, 2025 at 8:36 PM UTC
intoxicating to drink my content,
not halting until my heart is empty,
and my red spirit has been drained.
exciting to crack against the asphalt,
and everyone will avoid me,
scared to bleed from my jagged soul,
until i’m discarded once again,
that’s all i ever was.
Apr 10, 2021
Apr 10, 2021 at 6:25 AM UTC
you don’t even know what love is;
but, it’s a nice thought,
that you might forever.
Apr 10, 2021
Apr 10, 2021 at 6:15 AM UTC
all we know is school,
i have to spend the rest of my life after either working nine to five,
or starve to make my dream come true,
and after all of that i’ll peak either ending,
and then all that will be left for me is death.
Apr 8, 2021
Apr 8, 2021 at 6:43 AM UTC
I want to be the girl everyone dies for,
I want to be insatiable,
I want to be everyone’s favorite,
Because I just wanted to be yours.
Apr 7, 2021
Apr 7, 2021 at 7:28 PM UTC
Everytime I see the letter E,
I instantly think of your name.
I can’t stop listening to our songs,
And wondering how they make you feel now.
Would it **** you to spend a little time with me?
Apr 6, 2021
Apr 6, 2021 at 7:06 AM UTC
who knew this wasted opportunity,
would reignite the flame,
behind every passion i burnt out?
i cant tell,
if it’s to make me feel better,
or in hopes you’ll find me attractive again.
Apr 6, 2021
Apr 6, 2021 at 4:02 AM UTC
green chain link fences
lost dogs foaming at the mouth
blood stains in my carpet
the texts buzzing my phone
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m sorry
over and over again.
i only wanted to make you happy.
Apr 6, 2021
Apr 6, 2021 at 3:58 AM UTC