#1995
oh to be born in 1995
if it were the truth
i would have lived a little
before crawling into a cage
dreaming with eyes open
if more days were for me
quenching a torrid thirst
to see more, to taste more
please water these parched eyes
fuelled by jejunity
can you see them fuming?
Feb 6, 2021
Feb 6, 2021 at 10:06 PM UTC
Archangel Patpàpa ruddy mine
sigh..
I'll be seeing you.
~~~~~~~~
Our old rddbba song.
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day and through
In that small cafe
The park across the way
The children's carousel
The chestnut trees
The wishing well taking in your daily coin twenty years?
true love how not to adore you.
I'll be seeing you darling
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you
But I'll be seeing you
you "youme, meyou"
my sweetest dearest love.
~~~~~~~
In Hollywood by Billy Holiday
For Karijinbba. 74-95-05/2020. revised 06-16-20
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 1:41 PM UTC
Hi, hello, how you doin?
You don't know me, but I'm around
I'm one of the uninvited
Don't be too excited
I'm the one you forgot
The one who is there but isn't
I don't say a lot
I'm present but treated like I'm distant
I'll make you laugh just so you'll like me
But I'll get old and you'll leave
Standing in a crowd like a boring tree
Roots withered, leaves falling
I'm the one who was left at the store by his parents
The kid whose dumped for better friends
Never invited unless being used for a need
There's no one left here to even make amends
Call me a book
Because I've been Left Behind
Rewritten one too many times
Not even the after thought of the after party
Heck, not even at the party
I didn't know there was one
Hope your book club was fun
Your birthday cheerful
Your hang outs cool
Your coffee talks deep
I assume its a blast
I know enough to know you do these things
But I wouldn't know what its like
I'm the uninvited
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 16, 2018 at 12:46 PM UTC
**They called him,
the King of hearts, Jack Rabbit
Seneca of a legion
The angel of mercy with wings propelling love letters from its bow
sharp like the Red Jacket in my chest
The ace in my heart and I
died many times before
casted aside
I'm the message in a bottle
to be found ashore...
a lost psalm
And although the tare of my brittle hope to believe
that an angel of mercy could enlighten me of this scar,
I'll be shooting aerrows to knees collecting feathers in my palms
Killing soft melodies
Good or bad deeds
Perceptions of a woman
are no excuses.
No mercy for a man.
©MaddHatterQueen**
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 4:53 AM UTC
Whit ur ye daein?
your mother said
outside the lavvy.
Daein
mah business
you said
leaning over
the lavvy bowl
wiping your mouth
with the back
of your hand.
If yoo're makin'
yooself boak again
I'll tan yer erse
your mother said
moodily.
Aam nae
jist normal mince
you replied
leaning back
on your heels
looking at
the lavvyseat
yellowing
at the rim.
Ye best nae be
haverin' tae me
she said.
She walked off.
You sensed
the acid
in your mouth.
Your head
felt hot.
You got up
and wiped
your mouth
with toilet tissue
and threw it
in the bowl.
You pulled
the chain
water flushed.
You breathed in
the dank air
stench of puke
and *****
lingered there.
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 10:30 AM UTC
I remember the year of ’95
She was beautiful, and so right
We spent every day together
I knew it wouldn’t last forever
Those kind of things never last
But man oh man, did I have a blast
We spent the days out riding the town
Never thinking about winding down
The guys were jealous, my girlfriend too
She was such a beauty, I treated her good
So delicate and gentle, I never wanted it to end
Sadly one day, the day I dreaded, finally happened
My best friend, back home from serving overseas
Picking up his Mustang GT, after months apart
Knowing it was in good hands, never a worry
I still miss that car, it was one sweet ride
Take one for a ride, if you ever get the chance
There’s nothing like it, you’ll always remember it
Aug 7, 2016
Aug 7, 2016 at 5:23 PM UTC
This is where we met,
said Lindsay, this cafe,
Kirsteen over by that
window seat, eyes down,
holding a cup of coffee,
thin fingers around it,
I eyed her, at first sight
I was drawn to her, aam
Lindsay fa ur ye? I said
sitting beside her, she
raised her head and stared
at me, what's it tae ye?
she said, I gazed at her
not giving in, ye swatch
nae weel, I said, buck aff,
she said, her eyes focused
on me, I liked her even more,
her eyes , her features, the way
she sat fiery, hoo abit comin'
haem wi' me fur a bite tae eat?
she stared at me, her eyes wild,
yet softening, what's in it fur ye?
she said, I've a braw scratcher,
I said, a bed? she said, I nodded,
she smiled, so I took her home
to my place and we ate and drank
and made love, and been together
ever since, that day to this, ***
passion and of course the kiss.
Dec 21, 2015
Dec 21, 2015 at 3:21 PM UTC
Kirsteen closed the door
of the toilet
and puked in the bowl,
voices outside the cubicle,
patients to and fro,
hospital cleaners
or domestics wanting to clean,
she knelt over the bowl
fingers down her throat,
someone in the next cubicle said
whit ur ye daein'?
Kirsteen said nothing,
her throat was sore,
her eyes watery,
her tongue acidy,
ur ye nae weel?
the voice said,
O, shut yer gob,
Kirsteen said,
fingers by her mouth,
eyes peering at the divide,
min' yer business,
the voice said nothing more,
a chain went
and a flush
and the door opened
and feet walked away,
Kirsteen sat on her haunches,
held the bowl,
dribble on her fingers
and sick in the bowl rose,
an image of her mother
seemed over her
thin shoulder,
ur ye bein' boak again?
her mother's voice said,
Kirsteen stared
at the facing wall,
the top was white
with a silvery handle,
she gazed at her,
her mother's face
appeared opposite,
thin drawn,
I'll tan yer backside
if ye boak again
her mother said,
smells rose,
Kirsteen puked
in the bowl once more,
a voice came
and banged on the door,
Kirsteen open up,
it's Nurse Kerr,
ur ye makin' yerself
boak again?
nae, aam nae,
Kirsteen said,
a darkness came,
a swallowing up
inside her head.
Dec 19, 2015
Dec 19, 2015 at 1:45 AM UTC
Other girls
at the school
(boarding school)
fitted in
to the scheme
rich parents
successful
well balanced
but Jodie
came towards
end of term
her mother
was now dead
her father
couldn't cope
drinking lots
in his grief
then one of
the teachers
a young one
named Iris
22
seemed to be
very close
asked questions
how she was
about her home
her mother
how she died
and she cried
(Jodie did)
and Iris
held her close
to comfort
Jodie smelt
the perfume
felt the warmth
whispered words
to console
the soft *******
by her cheek
as she lay
afterwards
while in class
during maths
getting bored
the teacher
some old bird
rattled on
but Jodie
realized
that she loved
young Iris
the teacher
that strangely
she wanted
to hold her
to smell her
to hear her
the old bird
talked about
algebra
Jodie thought
of nothing
excepting
how to get
in the bed
of Iris
if only
in her head.
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 17, 2015 at 2:44 AM UTC
Iris turns in her sleep,
Jodie sleeps beside her,
in her dream Iris is
a 22 year old teacher again
and Jodie the 15 year old student
at the boarding school,
that night when Jodie
crept into her room and her bed,
what are you doing here?
I'm cold and lonely,
you can't come in my bed,
I need to be with you,
you can't Jodie you'll have to leave,
I want to be warm
and not be lonely,
not here,
must,
no,
yes,
Iris opens her eyes,
Jodie snuggles up
to her 8 years on,
arm around her waist,
cheek against her back,
sleep sounds,
the dream repeats now
and then of back to that night,
the words echo
in the rooms of her mind,
you must leave now,
can't leave,
you must go,
need you to keep me warm,
not in my bed,
Jodie had grabbed her nightgown
and wouldn't let go,
you must go,
no,
you must,
she didn't leave,
she stayed,
hugging her close,
an owl hooted,
moon shone through
the gap in the curtain,
you must go Jodie,
no I can't,
she stayed,
cheek on her arm,
laying there
staring in the dark,
she lay next to her,
just tonight she had whispered,
it's illegal Jodie,
tired and cold need to stay,
she slept the night,
no one knew,
but she knew,
Iris closes her eyes again,
Jodie sleeps on,
outside the downpour of rain.
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 3:22 AM UTC
Holly lay
on her bed
Geraldine
had showered
and has dried
herself off
being watched
by Holly
how was work?
Tiring
and boring
better now?
Holly said
the shower
has helped me
recover
a little
Geraldine
lay aside
the white towel
on a chair
she studied
Holly there
laying ****
missed me then?
But of course
Geraldine
decided
to lay down
beside her
you smell nice
Holly said
how much nice?
Holly kissed
Geraldine
naked arm
and stomach
lingered just
above her
**** nest
some weird guy
stared at me
on the train
Geraldine
told Holly
what today?
Coming home
on the train
********** me
with his eyes
and the rest
probably
poor old you
Holly said
what'd you do?
Glared at him
sitting there
as I rose
to get off
made him blush
good for you
Holly said
now to rest
just lay there
Holly kissed
Geraldine's
**** nest.
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 11:57 AM UTC
Fenola
had a bath
brushed her teeth
put on her
short night dress
then got in
the big bed
with Eileen
her lover
Eileen had
watched her dress
from the bed
why bother
getting dressed
we'll only
take it off
in a while?
Eileen said
that is why
the pleasure
taking off
Fenola said
Eileen talked
of her day
at her work
travelling
there and back
Fenola
listening
to Eileen
embraced her
body close
kissed her arm
her shoulder
her left breast
her fingers
walked slowly
up Eileen's
smooth soft thigh
touched her ***
Eileen stopped
her talking
let the words
melt away
lifted up
Fenola's
short night dress
and removed
it away
by the side
of the bed
then she touched
Eileen's ***
kissed her lips
held her close
in the street
darkness came
the moon shone
stars were out
someone laughed
an old car
backfired
they made love
in the bed
getting warm
getting hot
with kisses
and touches
and holding
of bodies
and whispers
in darkness
in the street
a cat mewed
a wild fox
ate from bins
turned over
but the girls
lay in bed
making love
as if in
wild clover.
Dec 8, 2015
Dec 8, 2015 at 1:41 AM UTC
Eileen rides
the bus home
from her work
feeling tired
muscles worn
aching limbs
aching head
eat dinner
have a bath
then to bed
it's Friday
weekend free
Saturday
to sleep in
feel the arms
about her
Fenola's
lips kissing
her shoulders
then her *******
lingering
*********
but that's then
now the bus
is packed tight
with bodies
and perfumes
and odours
and voices
and chatter
some old guy
beside her
nodding sleeps
his old head
against her
young shoulder
it's raining
windows damp
she looks out
then away
roll on then
Saturday.
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 10:03 AM UTC
Chrissie dried after her bath,
towelled under arms and legs,
a radio played from the other room,
cello sonatas, Bach,
Delia listened,
played a pretend cello
drawing an invisible bow
across invisible strings,
she'd played this that time
to that music teacher at college
before having her(sexually)
in her student bed,
Chrissie dried between thighs,
eyed her mirrored self,
plumpish, pink of skin,
love bites where Delia
had ****** and ******
Delia drew the bow slower
as the music slowed,
head to one side,
invisible cello
between opened thighs,
smiled, the woman
her father hired
to care for her
at term breaks
from boarding school,
Delia has seduced
and bedded in the first
Easter term,
Chrissie dried
between toes and feet,
towelled a final area
of skin, stood,
washed out the bath,
the Bach flowed on,
cello sounds,
recalling Delia moving
over her body like a snake,
tonguing over and over,
Delia closed her eyes,
the cello stilled,
invisible bow
blown away
like leaves in wind,
she lay back
and waited for Chrissie
to return, bathed,
dried wanting her
*** to heat
and burn.
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015 at 4:10 PM UTC
Ariadne got up from bed
and stood naked in front
of the dressing table mirror.
A small tattoo
with the legend KISS THIS
on her left buttock,
showed in the light
of the morning sun
coming through the gap
in the curtains.
Bernice propped up on pillows,
said, why just the left one,
why not both?
I've no idea,
I was ****** at the time,
Ariadne said,
looking over her shoulder
at her lover.
And the tattooist?
What did he think?
Bernice said.
It was a she,
and I can't remember,
what she said,
Ariadne said.
And do I know her?
Bernice said.
I hope not,
Ariadne said,
she's a sadist,
and I’m the only sadist
you're permitted.
Bernice smiled.
Get up you lazy cow,
Ariadne said,
we're got go see
your mother in hospital.
Bernice closed her eyes.
I know, not looking
forward to it,
Dad'll be there
and he hasn't spoken
to me since
I’ve been with you,
Bernice said,
opening her eyes,
recalling her father's
harsh words about Ariadne
and her for being
with that lesbian witch.
Ignore him,
it's your mother you're
going to see,
Ariadne said,
sitting on the side
of the bed and placing
a hand on Bernice’s
naked shoulder.
Easier said than done,
Bernice said,
but he won't want you
being there.
I won't be,
I’ll be in the cafe
drinking coffee
waiting for you.
Bernice felt relief,
sensed a sort of betrayal
on her part,
giving into her father's way
with things,
not having Ariadne there,
keeping them apart.
Ariadne kissed Bernice’s brow
and said, you can kiss my tattoo
if you like,
your lips on my skin,
a bit of *** before we go?
So she did,
kissed the tattoo,
made love,
then off to the hospital
to her mother who was ill,
dreading her father
being there,
angry with her still.
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 3:11 PM UTC
The world without you is a lonely place,
An empty land with too much spare time and space.
I will always remember you,
You can never be replaced.
Goodbye
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 13, 2015 at 5:50 PM UTC