#14
i'm turning 14 soon.
maybe then i'll know what it's like to feel old.
maybe this year i''ll finally be happy.
maybe this year i'll be myself.
maybe this year i'll make new friends.
maybe this year i'll scream who i am at the top of my lungs, for everybody to hear.
maybe this year, the odds will be on my side.
Apr 3
Apr 3, 2026 at 1:42 AM UTC
the light that bends,
then
so
can
we!
8:35 pm mars 9
Mar 9
Mar 9, 2026 at 7:34 PM UTC
I've day dream of you,
Again.
But it has been so long
that I do not know who you are...
Yet.
All I know...
Is that, I want your love,
and I want to demonstrate
that love
Will heal you.
Apr 22, 2021
Apr 22, 2021 at 11:09 AM UTC
If I could see your true colors would you be a deep maroon or a lime green?
Would we mix and create a beautiful purple or create a muddy puddle that echoes "we don't belong together"
I wish that I could see your colors
then maybe
I could understand
why.
Feb 16, 2021
Feb 16, 2021 at 11:23 AM UTC
The world is so beautiful,
Through eyes purified by love.
Who knew
That one person
Could wash away the brokenness of this cruel world.
Feb 14, 2021
Feb 14, 2021 at 3:41 PM UTC
You tell me I'm one thing,
But really you're just afraid that I'm something
Undefinable.
You believe everyone is one or the other,
But whats the beauty in that?
Maybe one day I'm
'They'
The next I'm
'She'
Then the day after I'm
'He'
Don't suppress me for being
Everything.
Nothing.
And
Me.
Feb 14, 2021
Feb 14, 2021 at 3:22 PM UTC
Relieve me from this label,
I cannot belong in this cramped space
That you decide I fit in
I don't understand why anyone would want to be confined
To just one thing.
You tell me I'm this,
Not that.
But why can't I be both?
Or neither?
Why conform?
Why conform when I feel so free just being
Me.
Feb 14, 2021
Feb 14, 2021 at 3:15 PM UTC
Though light persists to reach my eyes, I hereby reject this harsh reality. For it is easier to renounce something you cannot percieve.
Feb 14, 2021
Feb 14, 2021 at 3:01 PM UTC
I wish I had more time to think,
More time to cry with you,
Before you're gone.
But time is slippery as I try to grasp
The precious grains
Of my remaining hours with you.
I wish I could be strong for you,
But my sadness is uncontainable
and flows out of my wallowing blue wells for eyes.
You clutch my sweaty palms,
Desperately struggling to hold on to
This life you want to keep living.
But as I watch the sparkle dim in your eyes.
I know.
That it's a cruel world.
Feb 14, 2021
Feb 14, 2021 at 2:56 PM UTC
Sweet Tea wrote 3 months after I turned 15, 2018
Before you, I was a girl devastated by things I couldn’t change
Trapped in an endless bitter reality from which there was no escape
Sinking into a dark, spiraling well, from which I reached my hands and found a pool of light
You were my light, a haloed sunshine angel, who graced me with his presence for what seemed so long and ended so abruptly
The sound of your voice seemed to be honey, so sweet, attracting the bees, attracting me
My sunshine sweetheart, angel lover You’ve done your time so now you can leave
Why would you want to stay with me? I’m only a cement brick that will bring you down
A loose thread that will tear you down, a yammering parakeet who will wear you down
One time you told me that I thought too highly of you
How couldn’t I? With someone who made me feel so confident with my body, somebody who praised me, someone who thought I was worth their time at least for the time being
In a way it’s better that you left, you’ll never be forced to see what I had to see looking in the mirror hating every inch of myself, hating the way I acted, and the way I interacted with everyone and hating the way no one seemed to like me
But you liked me, but it’s better this way because I’m a letdown
It’s Like when you thought you had bought sweet tea
But it’s actually unsweetened
The new version
Sweet Tea wrote 1 month before my 18 birthday, 2021
Before you, I was a girl alone
Being molested every day by the people who said they would take care of me
I was a fourteen-year-old girl who was taught at a young age to get yourself a man to save you
So I tried everything to keep you because talking to you distracted me from the fact my fourty-year-old stepdad was touching me
But what I definitely didn’t need was a twenty-year-old man messaging me
Telling me all the things he wanted to do to me
When the law would finally unclaim me and allow me to give someone a part of me he doesn’t deserve
You made me feel so much more alone
Somebody who told me he’d touch me
But instead of giving me what I’ll need he’ll leave
“Lick me up like an ice cream cone” huh Luke?
yes I thought highly of you
Because you made it seem like you’d never hurt me
You were the biggest disappointment
You always will be
Jan 12, 2021
Jan 12, 2021 at 2:36 PM UTC
She's only 14
Her whole life's ahead of her
Yet she feels like she's 30
And her life's about to end
Wanting it so badly
Her heart is hurting
Feeling the road has end
Tomorrow she's got school
Second to last of the year
Yet
Can she even last a minute?
She wonders
She ponders
She cries
Feeling her whole world
Took a hit from an avalanche
Of everything
What a loss it would be
What a loss
A waste of time
A waste of space
How could one so terrible
Be any good?
She's only 14
But
She's gotten drunk
She's overdosed
She's cut
She's tried to die
So many **** times
She's changed for everyone
She's almost ran away
Tried once
Didn't get far
When she got back
Nobody noticed
She could have been touched
She doesn't know!
She was asleep
**** it
She was asleep!
How can she
Be any good
When she's done these things?
How can she
Be any good
When she's reminded at least 5 times a day
That she's a tool
That she's hideous
That she's a mistake
That she's annoying
That nobody gives a ****
If she lives or dies
Hell
They told her
"Why do you bother?"
She's only 14...
Only 14...
- Jay M
June 9th, 2019
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 9, 2019 at 8:57 PM UTC
_Sixteen pages now covered
in my swirly writing,
untouched chalky leaves
rustle with veiled future
A story is yet to be told._
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 11:10 AM UTC
my life ended in the age of 14
since then nothing changed
still the same broken heart
the same grey clouds
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019 at 5:56 PM UTC
Raindrops, water plops, let’s go see the ocean.
Let’s go skip a stone 14 and 11. Let’s go find a way so we could go to heaven.
Raindrops, falling on my face.
Raindrops mixing with my tears.
Tears falling into the water well.
Rose gardens, little girls picking them carefully.
But the rain is falling, and the girls are crying and the roses are wilting.
The wind is crying and I am crying and the well is crying and the roses are crying.
Raindrops, water plops, let’s go see the ocean.
Let’s go skip a stone, 14 and 11
Jun 27, 2019
Jun 27, 2019 at 7:35 PM UTC
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Mar 27, 2019
Mar 27, 2019 at 2:18 AM UTC
I know you’re scared,
What is it, the 4th school now?
Time to make new friends just to probably leave them again.
You’ll be mad about it soon,
I mean, why wouldn’t you be?
Soon you’ll be overcome with dread each time the alarm rings.
For the first time, you’re shy,
How can you be shy after all this time?
You’ve had to do this more times than most this isn’t hard.
So you’re the new kid,
It’s a nickname you know well, right?
Trust me, it’s better than nicknames you’ll be called later.
I’m not trying to scare you,
Isn’t it obvious I only want the best for me?
Don’t forget how strong you are and what you’ve already accomplished.
Keep your head up, kid,
Do you really think life won’t get better?
Well, I can tell you first hand that this isn’t even that bad.
But it will shape you,
Just remember that at least, okay?
This 14-year-old hell won’t be nearly as tragic 9 years later.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 2:40 PM UTC
Despertar con la misma cara
despertar y verte la espalda
una luz calida que entra por la puerta
la sombra que enmarca la silueta del alma.
Despertar con tonos azules
donde los gorriones cantan
Aroma a manzana
tu cuerpo desnudo
mi mente divaga
sueños, vida y llanto.
Despertar y mirarme de frente
un hombre más joven que ayer
levantarme y verte pequeña
delicada, tierna como doncella
en un cielo de luz y color.
Despertar con un beso
olor a rosas, miel y café.
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 9:41 AM UTC
I only wish to see the artist play
a game that does not interfere with this.
A portrait of a mind that doesn’t stay
in line with what is taught to all our kids.
A nuclear weapon set to self destruct
a tiny tear in threadless high design
an addict who is honest to the rug
to which he whispers into every night.
I want to see the artist make a dent,
to smash the frame until it’s fine enough
to form into a line he might regret
and breathe it in until he can’t stand up.
How obvious the stakes become, at last
when every perfect piece is printed fast.
Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 4:20 PM UTC
For fourteen years I have listened to your shouting...
...yet you say it's out of love.
"Do this! Do that! No no no its all wrong!" You say.
Little do you know that she'll do anything just to make you smile!
Even I can tell that it's been missing for quite a while...
...but maybe you like it this way.
Maybe you like it when your voice reaches a higher octave.
Maybe you like the damage caused by the words you've been spouting!
You've shouted for fourteen years and I'm tempted to show you the door
...because I fear you'll scream for fourteen more.
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 20, 2017 at 6:38 PM UTC