You know what?
I genuinely believe that I am unlovable.
Not even in the self-pitying way, I just have thought about it and I really think that no one could ever truly love me.
I have too many flaws that get in the way.
If I am imperfect then I can't be perfect enough for them
If I am perfect then I am not the quirky beautifully rare girl they want
I am too violent and weird
I am too hateful and grudging
And the worst part is
I don't even WANT to stop being violent and weird or hateful or grudging
I wish someone would love me for it
because I love those who are deadly loyal, absurd, not afraid of a little violence (not abusive, just to be clear. I do not support that) those who hate things because the more passionately they hate, the more passionately they love as well. And someone who holds a grudge actually cares about things. I would love a boy who was all those things but no guy wants a girl who can't let go of things and spends all her time muttering to herself about how worthless and ugly she is because that has become my hobby I don't even realize I am doing it sometimes.
I just don't think anyone could ever really truly fall in love with me.
That makes me kind of sad I guess... :(
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 1:03 AM UTC
You know what?
I genuinely believe that I am unlovable.
Not even in the self-pitying way, I just have thought about it and I really think that no one could ever truly love me.
I have too many flaws that get in the way.
If I am imperfect then I can't be perfect enough for them
If I am perfect then I am not the quirky beautifully rare girl they want
I am too violent and weird
I am too hateful and grudging
And the worst part is
I don't even WANT to stop being violent and weird or hateful or grudging
I wish someone would love me for it
because I love those who are deadly loyal, absurd, not afraid of a little violence (not abusive, just to be clear. I do not support that) those who hate things because the more passionately they hate, the more passionately they love as well. And someone who holds a grudge actually cares about things. I would love a boy who was all those things but no guy wants a girl who can't let go of things and spends all her time muttering to herself about how worthless and ugly she is because that has become my hobby I don't even realize I am doing it sometimes.
I just don't think anyone could ever really truly fall in love with me.
That makes me kind of sad I guess... :(
I don't know, just a late-night-I-am-so-lonely-why-am-I-so-unlovable-mood.
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