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I could feel it I just knew something bad was going to happen And sure enough it did. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe. Cheeks flushed from wine Stomach burning So easy to go from ecstatic to devastated Alcohol can be funny like that sometimes My eyes fill with tears Uncontrollable A friend mourning the end of a chapter Too drunk to realize that there is no end and no beginning Making sounds I didn't know I could make from crying so ******* hard I will never fully understand why it hurt so bad Food just didn't taste quite as good for a few days That is, when I would make it out of bed to even get a taste. To say I was devastated would have been an understatement. I even wrote you a letter that I never sent Not like you would have read it anyway. I didn't exist anymore in your world, so at least I could pretend we had closure and forgiveness, right? And despite all of this, I wouldn't change any of it, and I honestly have to thank you. Thank you for doing what you did, saying everything you said and for everything you didn't say. I needed you to do that. It forced me to take a nice, hard look at myself, fully exposed in the mirror. It gave me the courage and motivation to make a change. Judging from outward appearances and from a distance, maybe I seem the same. Same job, same living situation. But internally, I am a completely different person compared to who I was that horrible night. I love who I am now. I am better. I am stronger. I am confident. I am open to give and receive. I am grateful. I am awake. I hope that you will one day feel this way about yourself. Thanks for being my catalyst.
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Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 9:37 PM UTC
My Catalyst
I could feel it I just knew something bad was going to happen And sure enough it did. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe. Cheeks flushed from wine Stomach burning So easy to go from ecstatic to devastated Alcohol can be funny like that sometimes My eyes fill with tears Uncontrollable A friend mourning the end of a chapter Too drunk to realize that there is no end and no beginning Making sounds I didn't know I could make from crying so ******* hard I will never fully understand why it hurt so bad Food just didn't taste quite as good for a few days That is, when I would make it out of bed to even get a taste. To say I was devastated would have been an understatement. I even wrote you a letter that I never sent Not like you would have read it anyway. I didn't exist anymore in your world, so at least I could pretend we had closure and forgiveness, right? And despite all of this, I wouldn't change any of it, and I honestly have to thank you. Thank you for doing what you did, saying everything you said and for everything you didn't say. I needed you to do that. It forced me to take a nice, hard look at myself, fully exposed in the mirror. It gave me the courage and motivation to make a change. Judging from outward appearances and from a distance, maybe I seem the same. Same job, same living situation. But internally, I am a completely different person compared to who I was that horrible night. I love who I am now. I am better. I am stronger. I am confident. I am open to give and receive. I am grateful. I am awake. I hope that you will one day feel this way about yourself. Thanks for being my catalyst.
christine-castellana
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christine-castellana
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 9:37 PM UTC
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